Hiya guys! sorry i've not uploaded anything lately, my internet well and truly sucks (mainly coz i'm borrowing it from my neighbor lolz) anywho! here's a short story i wrote while trying to think of other stuff to write on my other stories. it may or may not be finished, if people like it then i will add an another chapter.
enjoy and R&R plz, reviews make my day :)
Disclaimer (i always forget these): don't own South Park, Matt n Trey do.
Warnings: suicide, sex, swearing - the usual
Caught on Camera
"point the camera up here." I ordered from my position in the tree.
It was well past one in the morning, everything was pitch black and South Park was sleeping except me and Butters.
"pl-please don't do, do this Kenny." Butters sobbed softly.
Dressed in half his Professor Chaos costume, the tin foil helmet at his feet, Butters was holding his father's video camera; sobbing quietly the smaller blond pointed the camera in my direction with shaky hands.
"is it on?" I demanded to know.
Even in the darkness I could see Butters nod, "and the night-vision?" I asked.
When he nodded again I adjusted the rope around my neck; you may be curious as to why I'm stood in a tree at one in the morning with a rope around my neck, well it started last month.
I was just finishing off my graveyard shift at the convinces store in town, i'd had this job for little over a year, the hours and the pay sucked donkey balls but it really was better than nothing.
Both my parents had lost their jobs, they even weren't trusted to sell weed and my brother was completely useless, only good at giving girls STD's. Karen was still too young to have any responsibility.
Sweeping my shaggy blond hair from my face I dumped the last box from the warehouse on the floor, I kicked it towards my co-worker who wasn't paying any attention to where he was placing things on the shelf.
As soon as it turned three I rushed out of the store before my boss even knew what was going on; at eleven my sister had dropped my dog off outside and she greeted me happily.
I couldn't help but feel a warm feeling rush through my chest as my black labrador Karma greeted me; three Christmas' ago Karen had found Karma in a bin, obviously an unwanted present and even though she found it the puppy followed me everywhere. At first it was really annoying, I had no use for another being wanting things from me but Karma just loved me too much.
Walking home was horrible, midwinter the snow was falling gently and my jacket wasn't the warmest but with all my money going to my parents I couldn't afford a warmer jacket.
Every single happy home I past were sleeping, nothing to worry about, it made me a little angry and Karma sensed it, yipping loudly at me.
As the snow finally eased up I was just coming to the edge of the train tracks, my house on the other side, Karma suddenly stopped dead and stared at something in the darkness.
Following where she was looking I saw someone climbing out of their window and they began rushing away from the house, not looking back or where they were going.
I knew the person wouldn't see me, probably off to meet a lover, but Karma had other ideas; she saw everything as a threat to me, often attacking my dad and brother when they were drunk.
Without me noticing the lead slipped from my frozen grasp, I hadn't even realised that I was that cold, and Karma bounded at the person, knocking them both to the floor and began barking viciously.
"Arg! N-nice doggy." the person's voice was very familiar, I wasn't sure if I should stop Karma or not, "q-quiet."
and then I noticed something I hadn't before; when Karma had knocked the person to the ground something had fallen off their head, I picked it up, feeling the crumpled tinfoil under my numb fingers.
"Karma." I said firmly and she stopped instantly, she came back to my side, "what are you doing Butters?"
the little idiot was creeping out of his house, in the very early morning, in nothing but his old Professor Chaos costume.
"Kenny!" Butters exclaimed like he was happy to see me.
I raised an eyebrow, I barely spoke to Butters any more, I barely spoke to my other friends either; I had my job and school to maintain, my brain and body could only take so much.
Butters approached me, Karma growled low in her throat but didn't move, under the street light I could see him smiling and a warm feeling crept into my chest again; just because I didn't talk to Butters didn't mean I didn't like him. Okay, more than like, it was fucking unacquainted love.
"i d-didn't know you had a dog." Butters said happily.
I gripped the lead a bit tighter, I just wanted to go home to sleep, it was Saturday morning so I could sleep till Monday if I wanted.
"what are you doing Butters?" I asked.
The smaller blond shuffled slightly, he held his hand out for the helmet still gripped in my hand, I handed it over and he put it on.
"i'm not Butters!" he announced, suddenly sounding more confident, "i am Professor Chaos and I am off to rid South Park of superheroes!" he gave an evil laugh that scared me a little bit.
A big part of me felt jealous of Butters; here he was sixteen years old and still playing Superheroes, or Supervillians, like he was ten.
It made me remember of my own costume still stuffed at the back of my wardrobe but I hadn't donned it in over six years.
Laughing to myself for once I decided to play along, "i'm sure the Coon will stop you." I told him.
Professor Chaos laughed again, "the Coon doesn't not worry me. Mysterion is my real problem." he said and gave me a small wink.
I was shocked to hear that, amazed he remembered, I shifted uncomfortably, "well, don't hold your breath." I muttered.
I heard him laugh softly, breaking character slightly, "if you see Mysterion tell him I want to duel by Starks Pond!" Professor Chaos announced and then ran away before I could blink.
For a while I just stood there in the dim light of the street lamp, Karma panting softly by my side, my eyes trained on the darkness where Butters vanished; was he expecting me to turn up?
Either way I had to get home, so slowly I plodded on over the train-tracks and towards my run-down family home.
My parents were out cold, either drunk or drugged, Kevin was shagging some girl loudly in his room and Karen must have been asleep; Karma immediately went to my room where she curled up on my battered bed and waited for me to join her.
But there was something niggling at the back of my head, Butters words were still whirling in my head, my eyes kept darting to the wardrobe in the corner of the room.
"this is insane." I hissed under my breath.
Then I crossed my room in less than three strides, flinging the doors open I immediately grabbed an unmarked bag from the back; I didn't even know why I was doing it but I pulled out my musty smelling Mysterion outfit.
I could hardly believe I used to be that small but I still tried it on; once the cape billowed at my ankles now it grazed my thighs and the mask was only slightly small. The rest of the outfit would never fit me now. I could see my blond fringe poking out of the front of the hood.
As I looked at myself in the small mirror in my room, I felt like an idiot, stood in my freezing cold room after a long shift at work wearing a stupid old costume that I had ignored for six years.
But, against my better judgement and sleepy brain, I climbed out of the window and began making my way to Starks Pond.
As I approached the pond I heard grunting and hushed shouting, getting closer I saw Butters battling with thin air, I couldn't help but stare as he 'fought' something; the smaller blond had grown up wonderfully, lithe and flexible he was any perverts dream. Well he was in my dreams a lot anyway and I did a lot of freaky shit to him.
Finally I decided it was time to make myself known, since this was the whole reason I came out in the snow when I should have been sleeping.
"Professor Chaos!" I deepened my voice ever so slightly.
I saw Butters breath puff out as he breathed deeply, he turned to me and struck a pose, "so we meet," he took a big breath, "meet again Mysterion!"
"you challenged me?" I asked mockingly.
Professor Chaos approached me, "let us battle! To see who will rule over this town." he demanded from me.
I never expected Butters to throw the first punch, I fell back in the snow, my hood almost coming down and I just managed to roll out of the way in time as the blond tried to pile-drive me.
We did this for god knows how long, taking aims at each other but never actually hurting each other; for the first time in a long time I felt free, there was no-one wanting anything from me, just me and Butters messing around.
Unfortunately all good things come to an end, normally it's the sun coming up or being discovered by a parent, for me and Butters it was me accidentally falling into the road as the smaller blond pretended to round-house kick me.
Now, I always died once a week, mostly by accident but walking home at one in the morning had its problems with drunks and idiots thinking I actually had money. Though once a year I religiously commit suicide, normally on Thanks Givings, or on the last day of school.
But I was a little shocked to fall flat on my back in the road, eyes locked with Butters, but out of the corner of my eye saw an on coming truck.
The last thing I heard was Butters screaming my name, a pure look of horror filling his big blue eyes and then the next thing I knew I woke up in hell with three Nymphs peering at me.
I always came to Hell, Heaven was way overrated anyway, the Bible only says that Hell is a place where you cannot see God, it was a pretty awesome place; the few times I had been to Heaven I spent it eating my favourite foods, but in Hell I can swear, fight, gamble and fuck any time I wanted.
Sighing I quickly shooed the Nymphs away; Nymphs took the form of anything you wanted, for me it was always Butters and I fucked him till I came back alive again.
How I died depicted how long it took me to come back alive; with accidents I woke up the next morning, murder gave me two days and suicide let me have a whole week in Hell.
I wondered about a bit, it was nice and warm in Hell, in Heaven you can't really feel anything, just pleasant numbness, so I enjoyed the weird sights of the other residents of Hell.
And then the familiar pull began in my chest so I just closed my eyes and waited to be greeted by my bedroom ceiling and my dog.
I woke to Karma licking my face, I heard my dad shouting in the front garden, rolling over I sighed deeply and hugging my black dog to me tightly, more than ready to go back to sleep.
I never expected Butters to remember me dying, no-one ever did, all part and package of being immortal.
"why did you run away last night?" Butters asked me the second school ended on Monday.
He had been watching me all day, trying to find the right moment to talk to me and as we walked home in the same direction he took his chance.
"i don't know what you're talking about." I said flatly.
Butters blinking at me but I couldn't bring myself to look at him; the memory of him screaming my name and those huge eyes boring into me. Then a knowing smile crossed the smaller blond's face.
"i heard Professor Chaos and Mysterion had a battle by Starks Pond on really early Sunday morning." Butters told me in a knowing voice.
I nodded, "really?" I enquired, "who won?"
"dunno, Mysterion fled before the battle was over." the smaller blond shrugged.
Weirdly I felt anger flare in my stomach when he mentioned I had fled, "maybe he died." I spat out without meaning.
Butters looked at me strangely but didn't say anything for the rest of the trip; when we came to his house he finally broke the silence, "maybe they'll fight again tonight, that sure would be awesome to see." he gave me his biggest smile and I couldn't hold back my own.
"yeah, maybe." I said, wanting that free feeling again.
So that night I donned my Mysterion outfit again and went to battle Professor Chaos, only to die again by falling through thin ice and drowned, my last image once again being Butters terrified face.
And so the vicious cycle continued, we played Superheroes and I would die, having to watch Butters watch me die and then not remember.
Finally, after a month, I snapped.
"i don't run Butters! I die!" I shouted at him when he told me once again that Mysterion had fled from the last nights battle.
Butters looked shocked, blinking at me owlishly, "what are you talking about?" he asked quietly.
"cut the bullshit Butters." I snarled, not bothered if anyone around us heard, "when I 'vanish' I actually die."
"inside?" Butters asked making me roll my eyes.
"inside, outside, completely." I spelt it out to him but he had that look that said he didn't believe me and I wanted nothing more than to have Butters believe me.
Which brings us back to the beginning, with me standing in a tree about to commit suicide with Butters filming.
Taking a breath I stared down the lens, "right listen, I'll be back soon, accidents are the next morning, murder two days and suicide a week. Are you listening?" I asked sharply.
Butters sobbed again, "don't do this." he begged again.
I ignored him and geared myself up to commit my first suicide of the year but I couldn't seem to do it, not with Butters staring at me.
"put your helmet on." I told him.
"why?" he asked, still shaking.
I rolled my eyes at the darkness, "because I can't commit suicide in front of you, so put your helmet on and be Professor Chaos." I commanded.
"then I won't do it!" he shouted at me, "i won't put it on then you won't die!"
"do it Butters." I growled, "i'm proving this to you."
slowly I saw him slip his helmet on and I felt like I could finally do it, "i will prove my superpowers to you Professor Chaos." I said in my Mysterion voice, "but if you see a blond civilian called Butters tell him, tell him I love him."
I heard Butters gasp as I said that but it lasted seconds before I stepped off the branch; I didn't feel my neck snap but I knew I died because I woke up with six Butters leaning over me.
With a week to waste I did as many dirty things to the Nymph-Butters, being as rough as I could knowing I wouldn't hurt them.
I knew Butters wouldn't watch the film on the camera, he would have forgotten about it, but on my fifth day, when I was fucking one Nymph-Butters and sucking off another, Satan himself came to find me.
"Kenny, you need to come with me." Satan told me, unfazed by my position.
It was hard to will away my boner but I figured it must be really important if Satan was willing to interrupt my fucking.
Ten foot everything Satan stood me in front of a large, fancy mirror and touched it gently to reveal Butters and my friends, Stan, Kyle and unfortunately Cartman, all stood by Phil Collins Hill and the smaller blond was holding his father's video camera.
I watched intently as they began to interacted with each other.
"you gunna film this Butters?" Stan asked him holding a large sledge in both hands.
Butters laughed, "well, sure I am, Eric asked me to."
I held me breath as I watched Butters turn the camera on and realise there was a video already recorded, I was hypnotised as the smaller blond watched the video.
What happened next was just as I expected; Butters screamed loudly, nearly dropping the camera, tears immediately pouring down his cheeks.
"What's wrong?" Kyle asked desperately.
Butters shoved the camera into Kyle's hands and I watched as my friends saw me commit suicide.
"you do realise this is a problem." Satan broke through my daze.
Looking away I heard the collective gasps from my friends, I snorted gently, "i didn't know there were many rules in the Cult of Chthulu." I sneered.
Satan rolled his eyes, "you'll have a job explaining when you go back." he told me.
"whole point." I muttered, "can I go now?"
so I left to enjoy my final two days for Butters-fucking; part of me was glad they had all seen, now they had to believe me about being immortal and that would lift something from my shoulders.
Finally the last day came and I was pulled back to the living just as I orgasmed for the final time; I woke to find a note and Karma on my chest, she whined and nudged the note towards me.
Feed your dog
she refuses to eat
glad you're back
-Karen
I half smiled, rolling over I saw a bag of cheap dog food and slightly mouldy leftovers, picking the nasty things out I watched Karma eat her food and tried to bring my mind back to the living too; it always took a while longer for my brain to engage after a suicide.
The first thing my brain realised was that someone was knocking on the front door, worried it would wake my parents I stumbled to the front door and was tackled to the floor by Butters the second I opened the door.
"oh Kenny, you're alive!" Butters squealed in my ear, hugging me unbearably tightly around the neck.
"dude, what the fuck?" I peeked through Butters blond hair to see Kyle and Stan standing in the doorway.
I patted Butters on the head and he finally pulled away; his face was red and blotchy, like he hadn't stopped crying since he watched the video and to be fair I don't think he had.
"again dude, what the fuck?" Kyle repeated.
I shrugged, "long story." I muttered.
Stan and Kyle both crossed their arms at the same time, looking unamused, "try us." Stan snapped, "we had to watch you fucking die, you owe us an explanation."
I couldn't help but roll my eyes but blushed deeply as Butters hugged me tightly around the chest, sniffing gently, "lets just say it had to do with a Cult." I told them bluntly.
"like the one with Chthulu?" Stan asked, looking completely confused.
"bingo." I clicked my tongue and smiled.
All three of them exchanged a look, "then, then why can't we remember?" Butters asked, his voice thick from crying and muffled by my chest.
"hell if I know, that's why I made you film it." I told Butters, "sorry." I added quietly.
Butters finally let go of me, he gave me a small smile, "i'm just glad you're alive." he said and I felt a rush of love and caring filling my being.
Of course I had to control myself; fucking the Nymph-Butters was one thing, they didn't get hurt or bleed but real-Butters was a completely different ball game.
"So, like, when you disappeared you were actually dead?" Kyle finally asked, like he needed any more clarification on the matter.
"like I said before; accidents are the next morning, murder two days and suicide a week. Simple." despite and subject I laughed lightly.
Butters hugged my chest again, I could feel him listening to my heart, it was weird having them sort of remember that I died.
Thx for reading, hope you enjoyed
i hopefully will have my other stories up soon
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