Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or any of the characters. Please be gentle, first fanfic I have ever written! Based several years after Sailor Stars. Rated M for future chapters. Updated chapter 1! So sorry for the wait, have been very busy with new job~
Epilogue
Many years have gone by since I was a Sailor Senshi yet it feels like only yesterday. Together with my friends, my teammates; we defeated all adversaries and overcame all challenges that appeared before us. Unfortunately there would be one thing that none of us could control; the fates of our children. It would be up to them to solve the problems that had been foreseen and keep the peaceful world we built from falling to destruction. Knowing this while I held my infant daughter in my arms and gazed at her innocent, happy face was painful. Knowing I brought her into this world only to have these burdens cast upon her shoulders overwhelmed me with guilt. But I will continue to have faith in her, and her powers. I know Setsuna has seen more then she has told us, I can see it in her face when I catch her staring at me; her eyes clouded with sadness. For now all I can do is give my daughter love and support as I watch her walk the path she chooses. Her fate is in her hands now, and this is her story.
Chapter 1 - A name Reborn
A long time has passed since I last visited Past-Tokyo, as I came to call it, but those memories still replay in my mind. I have since returned my Time Key to Setsuna-sama and have taken my place as the Princess of Neo-Tokyo. Things have been peaceful ever since those incidents that first brought me to Usagi and Mamoru; my parents in the past. Although I should feel happy, it seems a dark cloud looms over my beloved home. I see it in their faces, and hear it in the whispers in the darkness. My only escape is to let my mind wander back to the past in more than one way. The time of Sailor Moon and the Sailor Scouts. The time where I met Helios. It seems ironic now since I am an adult and fully grown that I will probably never see him again.
And grow I had! Shortly after returning from my final trip, I hit puberty and grew to look like my mother more and more every day. Around the time that my figure started to develop, I noticed golden strands while I was brushing my hair. And sure enough, slowly but surely my hair changed from the pink that it was into a lighter shade of my mothers' blonde. I suppose my parents were as surprised as I was. Even if Helios did try to find me in this time he probably would not have recognized me.
Despite the fact that I was surrounded by friends and family who loved me very much, I always felt a sense of loneliness. All of the things that I used to enjoy so much no longer held any happiness for me. Each day seemed the same as the last and slowly became one huge blur in my mind.
Today is my 18th birthday and I knew my parents were planning some elaborate party as always. Even though this day means that I am now an adult, I am not as excited or as happy as I imagined I would be. There was once a time that I longed to be an adult with every fiber of my body, and now that it was here I was just disappointed.
I slowly raised my head from the pillow to glance at the clock on my nightstand. It was almost noon. My mother was probably running around downstairs commanding a small army of party planners, caterers, and everyone else that would be involved in today's "grand" event.
I didn't want to get up just yet so I continued to lay there as I gazed around my room. It was more my mother's taste than mine. A soft pink silk lined the walls with a lacy material running across the ceiling. Everywhere you looked it was pink. It was indeed a beautiful room, but it felt more like a child's bedroom than a womans. Across my dresser were porcelain dolls that my father collected across the world on his many travels. They all seemed to be staring at me, wondering why I was alone in my room instead of being downstairs where all the commotion was taking place.
Cutting off my dreary thoughts was a gentle knock at the door.
"Come in," I said sleepily.
My father slowly opened the door and peeked in to make sure I was decent before stepping inside. He looked around the room quickly before coming over to kiss my forehead and then took a step back. As long as I can remember my father never looked quite comfortable when he was in my room. I suppose, like I, he saw it as some fragile sanctuary and was afraid he might break something or leave a smudge.
"Happy Birthday honey. Today you are an adult, but you'll always be my little girl." He said with a smile. I looked up at him and laughed before sitting up to slide my slippers on.
"I'm guessing mom almost has her army ready?" I kidded. He grinned and nodded.
"I have already been chased out twice. Once by her and then by a rather large gentleman who was yelling something in Italian. I think she's outdone herself this year."
I sighed and pulled my robe around me. My father smiled at me once more before glancing at the door then back to me.
"Well I'll let you get ready for the party. Don't take too long though; even though your mother has ordered enough food for a few small countries to live for a year, you should have some breakfast."
I hugged him quickly and then he turned to leave my room. He paused at the door.
"I know you haven't been the happiest lately, but I hope today will help you to forget whatever it is that's bothering you for at least this special day." He said softly before shutting the door behind him.
With that I took another deep breath and walked to my closet to pull out the gown my mother had bought especially for the occasion. I slipped it over my head, taking care not to snag the silky fabric and looked at myself in the mirror. It was cut much lower than any other gown I had ever worn, almost as if I was not only announcing to the world that I was now an adult, but also flaunting it. The dress was a pale blue, with gold trim along the bodice and just below my breasts. It was strapless, and clung to my body almost like a second skin.
I slipped off my slippers and put on the matching high-heeled pale blue shoes. Even with the added 3 inches I was still much shorter than most people I knew. I quickly brushed my hair, tying it into two buns as always. I checked myself in the mirror one last time before leaving my room and heading downstairs.
My father wasn't exaggerating when he said that she had outdone herself. Balloons and streamers of pink and white hung everywhere. Across the foyer was a huge banner with dark pink letters that said "Happy Birthday Chibi-Usa!". I laughed to myself thinking that no matter how old I got I would probably still be called Chibi-Usa. I never told anyone how much it bothered me.
I stood there for a moment taking it all in, and debated running back upstairs to crawl back in bed when suddenly I heard my mother coming up from behind me. She was talking with one of the caterers about the cake.
"No, I said I wanted the words to be in PINK, not RED!" she shouted at the gentleman. She sighed so hard I thought she might shatter right there in front of me, and then she noticed me out of the corner of her eye. She turned and rushed over, throwing her arms around me.
"Happy 18th birthday, Chibi-usa!" She pulled back and held me at arms length, looking me over from head to toe, nodding in approval. "I knew that dress would look beautiful on you!"
"Thank you mother, it looks like you've had your hands full." I said to her, looking over her shoulder at the caterer who stood there looking like a fish out of water, waiting for her to continue their discussion. My mother turned her attention back to him, telling him that it absolutely had to be in pink and then waved him off.
She took my hand in hers and led me into the ballroom which now was an explosion of pink flowers, balloons, and streamers. Little pink draped tables littered the farthest end of the room. Off to the side I could see a small band setting up. I hadn't noticed my mother staring at me. I just stood there gazing, my eyes wide. I looked to my mother who was searching my face for some kind of reassurance, her hope filled eyes were pleading with me to say something of approval.
I cleared my throat and took another quick scan of the room, searching for the words she so needed. "It's…It's very beautiful mother." I said slowly. No sooner had the words left my mouth she threw her arms around me, laughing and smiling with delight.
"I really hoped you would like it!" She paused and turned to look around, her finger curled beneath her lower lip. She always looked like this when she was thinking and questioning things. "You don't think it's too much do you?" She faced me again, her large blue eyes watery and innocent looking.
"No mother, not at all." I said quickly to reassure her. Her smile returned again and she gave my hand a brief squeeze before running across the room to make some more orders.
I laughed to myself, watching her run about. She was truly in her element like this. I never saw my mother light up or look so youthful than when she was planning some gala affair, and this was surely to be one of her best. I suppose that's why my father put up with the madness.
My mother would begin planning months in advance, sitting up until all hours of the night debating every tiny detail. Even the smallest part was a major decision and god forbid something went wrong. One would think someone had died if you walked into our home when she was on one of her tirades about napkins or silverware. Looking at her the way she is now, it was hard to believe that this woman before me was the same clumsy, crybaby young girl I shared so many experiences with in the past.
Feeling the urge for some fresh air, I turned to leave the ballroom and headed out towards the rear loggia. I burst through the French doors and closed them quickly behind me. Out here, so far from the eastern wing where the ballroom was located, you wouldn't know anything was going on inside at all. The only thing you could hear were the small birds twitting back and forth, and the wind blowing through the trees.
Gardening was another one of my mother's passions. Our home sat on more than one hundred acres of land which was peppered with trees and all different types of flowers. Around the loggia was a special garden that was mainly Spanish roses. She preferred Spanish roses over any other kind since the scent was not bred out of them. No matter where you were on our grounds, you could always smell the sweet fragrance of them.
I leaned over the railing a bit to look down at a caterpillar that was slinking its way across one of the bushes, when suddenly there was a thud on the porch. I spun around quickly, catching Jove climbing over the railing. He managed to get over and brushed himself off. He looked over at me, a sly grin on his face. His hair was full of tiny twigs and leaves that must've caught on his climb up. As hard as I tried not to laugh I couldn't help it. He scrunched up his brows like he always did when he was irritated.
"Oi, why are you laughing at me?" He said, frowning. I walked over to him and began to pick the debris from his hair. He studied me curiously until I showed him one of the many twigs and he rolled his eyes.
"Bah, stupid bushes your mother has planted everywhere!" he complained, lowering his head and shaking the bits of shrub from his hair quickly. When he was sure they were all gone he looked back at me, smiling impishly.
"Does your mother know you are out climbing over others railings?" I asked jokingly.
He frowned again and looked out at the garden. "Thought you would be out here avoiding your party as always," he said, avoiding my question. I sighed, angry he reminded me that I still had to go through with that. He grunted, taking pleasure in knowing he was right.
He turned his attention back to me, looking my gown over, his arms folded over his chest. He smiled slightly and made a low whistle through his teeth. I could feel myself blush all over as he stared so intensely, until he finally broke the silence. "I must say, I've never seen you look so good before. You couldn't possibly be Chibi-Usa! You must be a youma poorly disguised as her!" He kidded. I smirked at his comment and placed my hands on my hips, my feet shoulder length apart like my mother always stood during one of the many arguments she had with my father over something trivial.
"Well I know YOU couldn't possibly be the son of Makoto-sama! Not this rude young man before me!" I barked at him. I turned around, my back facing him so he could not see my smile. Jove and I were close ever since we were little. He teased me whenever he was embarrassed about something he just said or did which reminded me a bit of his mother when she was younger than me. Mokoto was never really comfortable with expressing herself either.
After all of my trips to the past, most everyone treated me differently than before. The children of the Senshi thought it was weird that I was friends with their parents when they were young. Even the "Royals", which was what the Senshi came to be known as, treated me more as an equal than someone the same age as their children. It didn't really bother me, but I could get a real headache thinking about it sometimes.
The only person I couldn't quite figure out was my mother in all honesty. I understood that when people grow up they change, but she had not just changed - she almost became a completely different person. It saddened me though. Somehow I thought that coming back from spending all of that time with my Mother in the past that we would be closer in the future. Maybe everything that happened when she was younger was just too much for her over the course of time.
I could feel Jove's eyes on me, studying my expression, his own face looking apologetic. I smiled slightly, assuring him I was not upset. He looked relieved. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be teasing you on your special day." He said softly, moving closer to me.
I laughed. "Oh? If you didn't tease me then I would think YOU were the youma in disguise!" He grinned and I could see him relax.
I walked over to one of the long white metal benches we had along the sides of the loggia and sat down, taking extra care not to get anything on my dress. Jove took my lead and sat down next to me.
"So why are you here so early, and without your mother?" I asked
He turned his head away from me so I couldn't see his expression, and started playing with his nails. I knew that could mean only one thing.
I sighed. "Don't tell me you guys had a fight again?"
I watched him clench his hands into fists. He turned back to me quickly looking upset. "She just won't listen to me! Our planet has been at peace for years, yet I am still forced to be a Sailor Senshi. She never even considered what I want to be and there's no use talking to her!" He shouted.
I grimaced at his outburst. I had suspected that it was something along those lines. From the moment each of the Sailor children and myself were conceived, our fates were written in stone. Jove was never one to be forced into anything and always felt like being a Senshi was holding him back from bigger, better things.
I thought for a moment before replying and then finally said, "Well what is it you want to be?"
He seemed shocked and unable to reply. I watched him struggle for a moment. "I don't know!" He said, "But that's something I would like to find out for myself rather than have someone decide for me."
"Well until you get married and have a child who can take your place, there's not much you can do." I said gently. He blushed, embarrassed by my being so frank and speaking of him having a child. I knew he and Mina's daughter, Kinshi, had been seeing each other for quite some time, but had not done anything all that serious, so intimacy was an embarrassing subject for him.
I tilted my head slightly, contemplating the situation with him and his mother. "You know, Jove, your mother was once very frustrated just as you are. Most people look at us and think we're blessed and very lucky, but I don't think that's true for the most part. Ever since the time of my grandmother's reign we all have lived lives prewritten and ruled by destiny. None of us asked for this responsibility, but the people of this planet and the others as well never asked for poverty, murders, war and destruction. We're sacrificing our lives so that everyone in this universe can live freely and peacefully. I can't think of a more fulfilling job than that. And I think your mother understands how you feel more than you think she does."
I think I surprised even myself with my response. Was that truly how I felt? For the most part I wanted to kick and scream at the injustice and unfairness of my life and destiny just like Jove. But every time I had those thoughts I remembered the past, how much my mother and the others sacrificed, and how much they loved what they did despite all they had lost.
We sat in silence. I, swinging my leg back and forth while Jove fiddled with a twig he had pulled from his hair. He finally turned to me again, his eyes drinking me in and finally said "You really do look beautiful today. I cannot imagine a more beautiful gir.. woman in the entire 'verse than how you look at this moment.."
I sucked my breath in, feeling myself blush from head to toe. I had never been complimented in such a passionate way before so I was not sure how to respond - let alone by Jove. My thoughts immediately went to Kinshi and I felt guilty. I nervously laughed and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Oh what a Casanova you are! You shouldn't say such things; Kinshi might be jealous if she were to hear them." I said with a playful smile, trying to break the tense mood. He quickly looked away as if I had hurt him. I could see him tighten up again. He began slowly, his head still turned away from me, "Chibi-usa, I know I shouldn't but..." when suddenly the doors were thrown open, my mother looking flustered.
"Chibi-usa! I have had everyone searching the whole palace for you! All of your guests are inside waiting to see the Princess on her birthday!" Her eyes quickly darted to Jove with an obvious note of annoyance. He shifted his away from hers, as if he was afraid she might see the hidden thoughts I felt he was about to confess to me.
I smiled quickly to her and jumped up from the bench. "I'm terribly sorry mother. I came outside for a moment to get some fresh air and see the beautiful flowers this morning." The mention of her beloved garden and my desire to enjoy it quickly quenched the fire. I stood up and brushed the back of my dress off for good measure and then waved Jove to follow me. My mother flashed him a tight smile before the three of us went inside to join the party.
An uncomfortable silence fell over us as we walked through the long hallways towards the ballroom; only the clicking of our footsteps on the wooden floor and the gentle swishing of mine and my mother's dresses could be heard. I opened my mouth to try to say something to break the silence but nothing came to mind, so I clamped my lips shut and just stared at my surroundings.
Our home had been redecorated numerous times since I was a child, most recently in a very light, almost rustic motif. Light blonde wood flooring covered the main areas of the house while white plush carpets covered the bedrooms and more intimate rooms of the house. The walls were all painted in very light earthy tones from one room to the next. Family portraits and other nonsensical things didn't adorn our walls; only antique tapestries and paintings from famous artists. I didn't pay much interest in such things, so I never really understood my mother's excitement over acquiring a Claude Monet painting or whatever it may be.
My mother had wonderful taste - at least that is what all of our many visitors would say the first time they set foot inside. I did have to admit to myself though that our home was beautiful. I couldn't help longing for the small but warm home that I lived in for so long with my mother when she was just a teenager. True, the furniture was not Louis XIV, but it was comfortable and inviting. The walls held the many photographs of us smiling happily together.
At the end of the great hallway that separated the Eastern wing from the ballroom and subsequently the main house were arches made of a golden brown marble that curved down into a point at the middle. The marble looked almost like pure gold when the light hit it at the right angle. Each wing of our home had archways like this at the beginning of the halls. Today they were decorated with ivy and pink roses that climbed to the center of the arch and had a heart shaped wreath made of more pink roses attached to the point.
My eyes swept over the room at the huge gathering of people. Many I didn't recognize or had only briefly met at a few events in the past. Occasionally I would accompany my mother or some of the royals on meetings with diplomats of the other planets, although I never understood much of what happened or what was discussed at the meetings. My parents thought it was important for me to be exposed to what would become my position in the future. I was usually bored and uncomfortable so it isn't surprising that I wouldn't recognize many people here now. The only diplomatic meetings that were ever enjoyable, if not downright hilarious were the ones between my mother and Princess Kakyuu. It wasn't Kakyuu that made the meetings as fun as they were however - it was the air between my mother and Seiya, one of Kakyuu's royal guards. I only knew a few details about their past and the chemistry that took place between them when my father had gone missing during Queen Galaxia's invasion. From what I could tell, it was still there and Seiya still had the ability to turn my mother's face several shades of crimson time and time again. My father did not have any fondness towards the former Sailor Star Fighter.
A sudden round of applause and cheer echoed through the room. Over and over "Happy Birthday Chibi-usa" was shouted. My mother smiled charmingly while I felt a blush creep over me. We slowly walked towards the front of the room, nodding at this person, smiling at that one. I quickly looked back and saw Jove had made it over to where the Royals and the Senshi were seated. Makoto gave him a quick look indicating they would talk later.
We came upon the long buffet table where our family would be sitting so that we could look out on the party. In the center of the table was a magnificent six tiered cake with five smaller round cakes coming up towards the sides forming steps. The entire cake was a very pale pink color that I actually thought was very pretty. There was a small sign in the front that was actually made from cake that had the pink lettering my mother felt was so important to get right. It said "Happy Birthday Chibi-usa"
We took our places at the table, pausing a moment to smile at everyone once more before I sat down in between my father and mother. I felt my father's hand reach over and briefly squeeze mine. I turned and tried to give him a reassuring smile.
The night wore on; I was bombarded by so many people wishing me Happy Birthday that I felt my head was spinning. I wished I could have chatted with the Royals longer or the Senshi. Each had stopped by to hand me their presents. I knew them so well I could probably predict what each present was. Ami's present was surely something educational, like more books. Minako had probably given me something very fashionable and feminine. Makoto; something to either cook or cook with, and Ray's present would definitely be something to enlighten my spirituality.
Michiru and Haruka came up together looking cool and composed as they handed me their gift. I wasn't sure what this gift could be but was sure they put a lot of thought into it. Neptune and Uranus always intrigued me the most. They radiated an aura of sophistication and wisdom that usually drew stares their way - such a beautiful pair. They chatted with my mother for a moment before wishing me a happy birthday once more. Haruka's eyes lingered on me, making me blush once again. Usually that intense gaze was reserved for my mother. I guess I was growing to look as beautiful as her.
Setsuna was the one to approach next. My mother always seemed nervous in her presence, as if she was holding her breath until she would leave. She nervously laughed while they said hello quickly and then Setsuna turned my way. Setsuna held out her hand however it was empty. I looked at her questioningly when suddenly a brilliant light began emanating from her hand. It was so bright I had to shield my eyes away. I felt the light dissipate and then looked again at her hand. There was now a locket in her palm that was so familiar to my mother's original one when she first became Sailor Moon. I gasped.
I heard a gut wrenching cry from beside me. My mother's face was contorted in a look of fear and anger. Her mouth fell open as if to start screaming however she suddenly noticed that all eyes were on her. I heard my mother quickly pull in her breath and then laughed. My face surely looked confused and stunned at firstly Setsuna's gift and then my mother's outburst. My mother stood up and addressed the murmuring crowd.
"I do apologize for my reaction everyone! Setsuna however.. I.. Well it was to be me who would be surprising Chibi-Usa with this particular present and Setsuna.. Spoiled my surprise!" She nervously laughed again and then took a seat. Her statement seemed to please the crowd, especially with how well everyone knew how my mother could get when it came to party plans being ruined for her. However I was not convinced.
I looked at the locket again and then to Setsuna. "What does this mean?" I asked her. She smiled warmly at me. "I have foreseen the future and the time for you to ascend as Sailor Moon is now. I have another present for you, but this one is to be opened later. You will understand when you do."
From the corner of my eye I could see my mother tremble suddenly but she still had that smile plastered on her face for the crowd. I quietly thanked Setsuna for the present and she went to take her seat again next to Michiru and Haruka.
If events of the night were a blur before Setsuna gave my present to me they were even more so now. I couldn't even focus when Hotaru came by and handed me her gift. For the rest of the evening I kept staring at the locket in my hand, turning it over and over again. It had slight warmth emanating from it. I was in such a daze that my mother had to call my name three times to let me know it was now time to cut the cake. I was anxious to excuse myself when the party was finally over. Guests were lingering on and it was polite to stay with the guests until the very last one was gone. Kinshi had stopped by for a moment to let me know that there would be an emergency Senshi meeting tomorrow because of my ascension as Sailor Moon. Finally the last few people were gone, apparently exhausting my mother of conversation. I am sure she had to explain herself and her outburst more than a few times this evening.
I walked over to my parents to say goodnight. My father was smiling proudly at me while my mother clung to his side, looking as if she would collapse at any moment. She looked my way, her face a picture of unease and nervousness. She forced a smile for my benefit and then drew me close. It was the tightest she had held me in for what seemed my whole life. She lightly whispered something in my ear but had done so so quickly that I could barely make out what she said. Something along the lines of "I never meant to keep it from you." I was about to ask her what she meant but she hurried from the room. I shrugged it off for now, still bewildered by this day, hugged my father and then said goodnight.
I don't remember the walk back to my room, the long flight of stairs or turning to go down the long hallway towards my suite. I walked inside, slipped off my shoes and started to undo my dress, gently setting the locket on my vanity. My dress fell to the floor as I spotted something from the corner of my eye. Lying on the foot of my bed was a small box wrapped in plain white paper. I picked it up and turned it over, checking for a tag or note. "I wonder if this is the other present Setsuna mentioned," I said to myself. Feeling too overwhelmed by everything I just laid it next to the locket, deciding I would open it after some much needed rest.
I slipped on my filmy blue nightgown and climbed into bed, recalling all of the events. My meeting with Jove outside, Setsuna's present and then my mother's reaction. I always believed that when I became an adult my world would make more sense, however it felt more confusing than ever. After struggling to fall asleep for what seemed an eternity I finally drifted off, determined now more than ever to put the pieces of my life together… after I rested.
