Disclaimer: I do not own the anime Fairy Tail or any of the characters.

Lucy sighed. Sitting back on her heels as she stared at her translucent body. It had taken a while for her to get used to the sight of seeing the ground through her feet, even worse through her torso. She had paled, or at least felt as if she paled. She wasn't even able to pale because she was now a ghost. Or at least she thought she was a ghost, she was wondering why she was a ghost if she was dead.

She should have passed on by now, only Mavis had been given the chance of coming back. Which led to her one question of why she was still here. She could feel the stillness of the air and knew she was alone. But she still couldn't quite figure out why? She couldn't even remember how she had died.

All she could remember was the brief flash of pink before she crumbled. It sickened her to recall it but she could swear there had been blood but here she didn't see anything but a beautiful golden meadow. She wondered idly how her teammates were doing. She assumed they must be feeling her loss, unless they didn't know, she couldn't recall them seeing her die. And she didn't know how much time had passed in the living but right now she was cut off from emotion, only a brief confusion muddling her thoughts.

As if on impulse she allowed her fingers to run through the water of the lake before her, shivering at the slight cold. She almost jumped as she witnessed the change of scene. The vision of white appearing before her. Acting on impulse again she touched both sides of the water around the vision and the vision suddenly widened before her. Showing her a view of an infirmary, and she felt the first stirrings of feelings as she saw the pink hair of her partner lying motionless on the infirmary bed.

Rage.

Onyx eyes awash with rage.

Body shaking as flames engulfed his figure but he was still. (Natsu was never still)

Then the piercing of her flesh that elicited a shrill scream which Natsu flinched at.

Lucy gasped as she was drawn back to the present. Hands coming up subconsciously to grab the place where she had been stabbed. Pristine skin but she could feel the cold sliver of metal sliding through bone and flesh.

She could feel heat traveling down her cheeks though and she reached up with one hand, hand trailing down her cheek as she drew it away. Eyes widening as she witnessed the moisture. She was crying?

But she was so numb. Why was she crying? It hurt. The pain of being stabbed. Why was she being forced to go through it again?

Just as soon as the pain had started it disappeared leaving her gasping for breath, as her eyes again found their way to the river where the image was still there. He was unconscious, that she could tell straight away but from what she couldn't tell.

Natsu had never looked as bad he did now though, he looked as if he had been burned. Natsu doesn't burn though so it made no sense. His whole thing was that he could eat all manner of flame and it was more like comfort to him to be engulfed in flame. She wouldn't have been so worried seeing him in the infirmary as she had seen it multiple times. Not that it never worried her because it did. But she had grown accustomed to it and knew how resilient he actually was. That mage couldn't have killed him. That she knew for sure. But the burns were what really confused her.

So she watched, she didn't know for how long she watched. Time seemed to pass faster up here anyway but she just watched as he lay there for hours. From what she could gather night had passed and it was morning by the time the door inched open. Lucy spread out the vision more and smiled in relief when she saw Mira and Wendy walk in. Wendy could wake Natsu up and hopefully she could heal the burns too. She wondered idly why Wendy hadn't healed him earlier but she shrugged. She was there now, thats what mattered.

The sound of the door opening seemed to spark a reaction from Natsu though as a single grunt escaped from his lips as he sat up. Natsu you idiot! You shouldn't be sitting in your condition. Lucy thought instinctively but of course that dragon slayer was much too stubborn. She couldn't have expected less from him she mused.

"Natsu-San!" Wendy cried, surprised. "You shouldn't be sitting up with those injuries. Here lay back down, I'll heal them for you." She made to move closer but the pink haired mage just growled and his eyes flashed open, betraying onyx eyes that gleamed animalistic.

"Stay. Away." The words were punctuated by a hiss as Natsu narrowed his eyes. Hands clenching into fists on the infirmary bed. Claws ripping through the thin material. Lucy felt a shiver crawl down her spine. Natsu had never acted this way to nakama before.

"Natsu." Mira scolded. "You're scaring Wendy, we are here to help."

"Yes we are and you should be pleased that Wendy is willing to exert her magic to heal you." Carla said, the cat floating in front of Wendy, head turned snobbishly up in the air, "I mean we already went through the trouble to save you. You almost died you know."

"I was supposed to die." Natsu growled. Eyes glinting in a way that made shivers run down Lucy's spine. There was something seriously wrong going on here she thought as her thoughts from before grinded to a hault. Something bad must have happened on that...mission.

"We know what you're going through Natsu." Mira said gently, hand held out in a placating gesture. "We've all witnessed d-," she took a deep breath, tears beginning to gather in her eyes, "we're going to miss Lu-"

"Don't you dare say her name." Before Lucy could even make sense of what had happened Natsu was out of the bed and had a hold of Mira by her neck. Lucy couldn't help but gasp, her eyes widening in shock. Was he actually planning to…? No, she shook her head harshly, Natsu would never hurt nakama, right? He was acting weird but that didn't mean anything.

"Natsu-San!" Wendy cried, "Why are you doing this?"

Now Natsu's attention shifted, his onyx eyes flashing in Wendy's direction as the girl shied away, her eyes swimming with a mix of fear and confusion. Seeing the expression on Wendy's face a wide grin broke across Natsu's face. Distorted as if he was baring his teeth. "Lucy was my mate."

Lucy didn't understand. Her eyes narrowing in confusion. What did he mean by his mate? Why was he acting so...so animalistic?

Understanding dawned on Wendy's face as she backed away. "Mira, you need to back away from Natsu...now!" The blue haired girl grabbed the unnaturally quiet Carla in her hands, continuing to back away. Not even daring to get an inch closer to the dragon slayer.

The dragon slayer dropped the white haired girl on the ground with a thud as he walked calmly to the window. Punching it open, not even caring of the glass shards that embedded themselves in his skin. Looking back only once he grinned. "You really don't know what you've done by keeping me alive."


"What do you mean Natsu's gone insane!" Erza shouted, her iron clad fist slamming on the wooden guild table. Leading Mira to wince as the loud noise punctuated the otherwise silent and tense atmosphere of the guild.

Wendy piped up, her voice shaky, "Natsu-san has not gone crazy Erza-san. Its-its a normal thing that happens to dragon slayers…."

"Its normal!" Erza roared, her eyes narrowing into slits, even though it was obvious she was overwhelmed. While Wendy cowered with a squeak back into her seat. "If its so normal why is Gajeel okay?"

Wendy hesitated, her tongue feeling tied down with the words she didn't feel comfortable saying. She knew what a mate was, and she knew the feelings belonging between mates but...it was so private. It would be a betrayal of trust for her to mention it, but she couldn't just not! These were Natsu's nakama, they deserved to know...didn't they? She had to avert her eyes at Erza's expectant eyes. They were so filled with confusion and the silence of the guild felt weighted down with grief.

"What could have gotten into Natsu…" Erza murmured, "especially after what happened wi-" She had to pause to draw in a shaky breath before her eyes widened. "I-it had to do with Lucy...didn't it?

Wendy nodded, "Hai." And then she settled in to tell the story, knowing it would be futile to go after Natsu now. She had an assumption of what he was doing anyway and she knew no matter what Natsu was like now. No matter how much his instincts were screaming at him to kill. To get revenge, she knew he wouldn't want his nakama seeing him like that.

"Its because Lucy-san was his mate that he can't live without her. Thats why he was supposed to die with her...but we saved him. Which means hes going to hunt down anyone who ever hurt his beloved...until they are gone. But….it won't be a painless death. He'll want them to feel as much pain as possible for what they did to his mate..."


It was too much for Lucy as she felt herself pitching backwards. Her back hitting the ground with an unsettling quietness and lack of impact. Before her body tilted out from under her and she was falling.

Feeling weightless. Her mind feeling light with the lack of a sturdy surface keeping her grounded. Her eyes flashing open as her mind spiraled down into a black abyss. A scream getting lodged in her throat as she panicked. Arms flailing out, all thoughts of Natsu being put to the back of her mind, only a flash of pink to be seen as she fell. Fell. Fell.

Being consumed. No way to know how long she fell into that dizzying spiral before she was grounded once again. Her feet hitting the surface with enough force to knock her to the ground with a silent whimper.

She was down. Crumpled on a dirty floor. Metal surrounding the entirety and magic circles embedded in the stone. Her eyes easily making out the glowing patterns that seemed to crisscross across the room as her trailed up. Having no way to know what she was to see. Having no way to know why she needed to look. Why there was a compulsion….

Then she was consumed again. The world tilted under her and black consuming her vision as she fell backwards. To an onlooker falling straight through the floor with hardly a sound. Her eyes flaring once again as she flailed once more. Dizzying spirals filled with pink.

The roar of black fire and desolate emptiness. Lack of feeling or grounding. Panic. Panic. Panic.

Natsu...lying huddled into himself in a corner. Magic shackles covering his ankles and wrists as he curled into himself for warmth. So cold. He looked so cold. So empty lying there. He shouldn't be cold...where was his fire?


Erza stood, her eyes narrowed in concentration as she took in the building. The rough exterior, that sent too many flashbacks through her brain. Of Jellal. Her once friend. But she couldn't afford to think of him.

Not now.

Not when she had another friend that had been lost in his own darkness. Another friend that had resorted to the flashes of anger and possessive pain. A friend that would kill for another, without even rational thought because of loss.

She shook her head again harshly, her breath escaping in a hiss between her teeth as she rubbed at her eyes. Now was not the time to be weak. She needed to be strong. For the guild she needed to be strong. Especially for Gray, who couldn't even stomach the thought of coming. Who had locked himself into a room and vomited at the thought of seeing their friend in such a state.

All the other guild members had paled, hadn't agreed and Wendy...oh Wendy had been resolute about not going. Claiming the sight of another dragon slayer, even one so young as her, would send Natsu into a fit of rage. She had explicitly stated that one such as her and Gajeel would be even worse, seeing as how they each had their mates, which had been said with a longing gaze into a corner.

It wounded Erza to be here though, and for once...for once she wished she wasn't considered the strong one. She wouldn't have to have been the one to come out here if such wasn't the case. She could deal with her grief, could move on without having to see him like this. Without having to see what loss could do to another person.

Shaking her head once more and clearing her mind she walked purposefully up to the gates. Her eyes taking in the vague glimpse of the building that she could see from her blurred up eyes. Mind already attempting to block out the sight.

When she reached the entrance she was rewarded with a stern looking man who bowed respectfully and when up, locked a bracelet around her wrist. Bringing with it the burning and draining feeling of magic loss. A magic prohibiting bracelet…

One to prevent her magic from acting up when in such a place. Not that it was quite necessary...the building alone was enough to block her magic out. Much too cold and disheartening to allow her such a luxury as comfort magic.

And then she was walking.

Walking.

Walking through places that flashed by. Her mind too blank to recognize surrounding after surrounding. The grief of death and despair. Pain and hatred. Power and struggle. Battle and memory. Conflict weighing her down. Down. Down into a spiral of anxiety. One that hadn't been felt since Tower of Heaven. Made her feel as blind as in Tartarus. As sensitive in mind as once in body.

She could hear screeches and wails. Rattling of chains and it took her much too long to figure out she was imagining it. That she was reminiscing in the overwhelming flood of memory of once before. She remembered, with an ironic chuckle. That magic could soundproof things.

And with a screech, there she was. In front of her friend's door. Knees trembling and knocking. Breath coming out harder as she pursed her lips. Locking her emotions up tight. She…

Had to be strong….

Now and forever….

And with that she swiped her wristband over the door, an access code being given and flashing on screen. Once...bated breath...twice….third...charm.

A silent hiss as the door slid open and allowed her entrance. She was in...and she wished she wasn't. By the gods she wished she wasn't. Because there was Natsu, arms chained to the wall. Legs chained to the floor. Skin pale and cheeks pink with cold. Ice hanging from skin and hair dull, without its usual sheen and care, hanging to his forehead in clumps. She knew she couldn't get any closer and here she was screaming at herself to not see farther. To not walk in farther. To stay as far away as possible as he lay breathing laboriously.

But she couldn't help it as her legs led her forward and she withheld a shriek as invisible strands of electricity worked its way through her bloodstream. A hissing telling her that she had been burned in the aftermath as she hurriedly backed away, hands going up to rub at her arm. A tiny whimper escaping from her mouth.

She was forced to look up again at the sound of clinking chains. Hollow dragging and anxiety stricken heartbeat. Her eyes locking on Natsu as he seemed to be pulling himself up, hair hanging down over his eyes. Blocking from her his face…

"L-Lucy…" was what was uttered before he collapsed once again.

Erza's eyes widened and and a haze filled her vision, eyes burning. He really did miss their Lucy...so much. She could feel the pain in the room, simmering through the air. And she could feel it pressing against her shoulder as her own grief hit her full force. Lucy. Their friend. Who smiled so wide and was always a shoulder to cry on.

Who even she hadn't been in Fairy Tail very long was still as much family as the oldest member.

Her smiles. Her laughs. Everytime she had helped them in battle. The comfort of having her house to go to when they needed comfort.

She chanced a look up again to see Natsu staring straight at her. "Lucy…" he repeated and she wanted to hug him. Wanted to remind him that he still had family. Wanted to tell him what she herself had known for years. That Lucy had loved him for many years. But it wouldn't help now. Nothing would help now. His eyes were a shimmery gray as if he couldn't even see her. He was lost. Could not come back without Lucy.

Claws. Growls. Animalistic howls. Onyx eyes awash with so much hate. So much fury. The lack of reaction when they screamed his name. When they cried and he spared not even a glance. Eyes locked on the broken body away from them. The burned corpse of the person who had killed their Lucy.

She had known since the start that this was not normal. Not at all. That there was something insanely wrong. Wrong with their Natsu. Their friend. Their family. Everyone else had cried with the news while Natsu…

The Natsu they had known had died and she wanted him back. Wanted to hug him. Wanted to see that reassuring smile just one more time. He had saved her so many times and she couldn't even help him now.

What kind of friend was she? She was angry. Angry at the person who had killed Lucy. Angry at herself. Angry at Natsu for leaving them. Angry. Angry to the extent that it scared her. Because if Natsu had not already...killed the person who had killed Lucy. She couldn't imagine what she would do.

Ignoring the pain she put her fingers once again on the field that surrounded them and stared at his collapsed form. He had no reason for living. She could see it, clear as anything. His form was far too crumpled. Eyes far from a light. No life. No understanding. No tears even. His hands were clenched tightly and there was a wince on his face. As if he were in pain.

"I…" Erza's eyes leapt up from her still paining hands and saw Natsu cowering away. His eyes still filmy but a strange expression on his face, "I'm so...so sorry Lucy."

"Natsu," She whispered harshly. Wanting to speak louder but the atmosphere prohibiting it. Because Natsu should not be said and even though he couldn't hear her, she couldn't help but need to say something. He shouldn't be sad. He should be okay. Always okay. Always smiling. "Natsu it wasn't your fault." Her voice was rising in volume and an echo rattled inside her head. It reminded her so much of how she had felt about Jellal. It was her fault. It was always her fault. She should've been stronger. "It was never your fault Natsu!" It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. "You couldn't have been that strong! Things happen but please Natsu please don't!"

She didn't know what she was begging for. She was hysterical. "Please don't! Lucy would-" She stopped abruptly as Natsu appeared to stare right at her. Eyes still filmy, the only thing she could notice, it seemed. "Lucy...my Lucy…"

Something within her seemed to snap as his eyes filled with tears and a shriek tore from between his lips. Animalistic and pain filled. So raw that she felt her fists clench around the field. Burning and hissing.

"Lucy!" He was screaming and she didn't know what to do. She felt the need to collapse. The need to scream back. The need to show that he was okay and Lucy was dead but she wasn't gone. She couldn't be! Lucy couldn't be completely gone. She would always come back!

There was no way...and then she was sobbing too. Tears streaming and sobs tearing from her throat and leaving her throat feeling raw. She sobbed and sobbed. Thinking about Jellal and how she understood. How Natsu felt. She couldn't have imagined Jellal dying. But yet Lucy was gone and that was her friend. Her family and she cried. For that night she had lost two of her precious family and life would never be the same. And she wouldn't have Lucy to rely on. To go on missions with. Someone to share in her enthusiasm for clothes because Lucy understood her. Understood everyone.

And she was crying. And crying for the lack of Natsu. He was like her brother and best friend in one. Always there to encourage her. Always saving her. Protecting her even from herself.

And she didn't know. She couldn't understand how life could be so cruel. But she could because life had been cruel before. "I'm so sorry!" She screamed, "I'm so sorry! I should've been there! I should've known! I should've known!"

And she could've sworn it was imagination but the brief feeling of a hand pressed against her shoulder and she cried even more because it felt so much of Lucy. But Lucy was gone and it couldn't have been!

It couldn't…


Lucy had been there the whole time. Huddled in the corner. Staring at Natsu's prone form the whole time. Her eyes glazed over and her arms wrapped around herself. She didn't understand what had happened. What had happened to her Natsu but the numbness had passed as the shock had. So she was staring. Her tears having dried up and her fingers wrapped around the precious item her mother had given her. When she had noticed Lucy and with tears in her eyes said that she was sorry they would never see each other again. Because Lucy couldn't leave. And she didn't want to because Natsu was here and she loved him. But yet this wasn't her Natsu. He was cold and huddled in a corner, same as her but different because he was alive. But not and he wasn't warm anymore. She could feel no warmth and she didn't know what to do. But she couldn't leave anymore. Didn't know if it was because she didn't want to or because she couldn't.

She was there when Erza appeared and she had cried with her, even when Natsu had said her name she still couldn't understand. But she was up and holding him. And she was crying even harder when he didn't notice. He was staring in the distance but yet he didn't notice her and it hurt because she wanted to help. But she just didn't know what to do!

She just didn't…

And when Erza started sobbing, even more than before with shudders and screams. She had touched her. Pressed hands against her own, wishing to heal the scars that were destined to be there but she just...she couldn't! She wanted to huddle back into herself. But she wanted to help. And yet...she couldn't.

She couldn't leave. She couldn't move on. Yet she couldn't stay. She couldn't be with Natsu. Never. Never again. Because she was dead and so was he. But he couldn't die unless he died with her. And she was already dead. And couldn't move on until he was with her.


Natsu was staring at the wall once again. Claws digging into the ground as he stared in silence. Lucy in all his memories.

While Lucy sat against the same wall, her eyes staring into the distance. Natsu in all her thoughts.