Matsuda was bored. He understood perfectly well the situation was grave. The Kira case had to be the hugest serial murder case in the history of mankind! But, let's face it; besides himself, the Investigation Team was full of stiffs. Everyone's too dang serious! Mogi and the Chief looking through files of paperwork, Watari's off somewhere fixing L - I mean Ryuuzaki - some sugary foods (which he won't even share!!!), and Ryuuzaki himself and Light are engrossed in their computers. And what's worse, Misa-Misa's gone ON VACATION!!!

Mogi glanced up from his papers when he heard Matsuda give a slight whimper, but decided to ignore it. However, this just made Matsuda even more depressed. He sat still for a moment and sulked in his chair. Twelve seconds passed before the entire team jumped as a loud crash shot through the room, and before anyone knew what was going on, Matsuda was shoving Soichiro, Ryuuzaki, and Mogi out of the building (since he and L were still handcuffed, Light was instead dragged out).

"Matsuda! What do you think you're doing," Soichiro demanded after bieng cramped in Matsuda's tiny, fuel-efficient car along with the others. That's not to say eco-friendly cars are bad, the author likes them. However, since the author is nearing six feet in height, she recognizes the fact that getting into a little car means no leg room whatsoever. And that's just with her. One person. Compared to five people.

"I need a drink," the young officer stated simply, "And so do you guys for that matter! It's "Kira this" and "Kira that". We. Need. A break."

Soichiro began to yell at Matsuda while Mogi stared out the car window and L snacked on the sugary treats he managed to bring along. And Light? Well...

"Hey, Light, d'you think I can have an apple martini? I'm not sure what it is, but if it's got apples, it has to be good, right?"

Since he was in a cramped car with the entire task force, Light was doing his best to ignore Ryuk, the apple addict.

"Liiigghhht.... Light-o.... Hey! Listen! Hey! Hey! Listen! Hello? Listen! Listen! Hey!"

Light couldn't take it; "Alright! I'll get you an apple martini!" Everyone in the car stared at Light.

"Light, what are you talking about," L inquired unblinkingly, "I said that I wanted a chocolate martini. No one said anything about apples."

"Ermmm... Oh, hey! We're here!" Before anyone could question him further, Light was already sprinting out of the car, dragging a shouting L behind him. Mogi and Soichiro stared after them, confused, for a few seconds. However, Matsuda didn't think much of it and left the senior officers behind.

Okay, that's chapter one of my first parody fanfic. Don't worry, Ash, you'll appear in the next chapter. ^-^

No flames please. This is my first attempt at a fluffy parody.