A/N: Don't own naruto ECT. Don't sue. I don't know the age difference between hinatas and Hanabi so please don't complain.
Gosh this is really old. Its been sitting on my computer for what? a year? two? idk. So here it is i hope you like it.
Sometimes I guess we just forget who we are. We are only human, so we strive to be better than the person beside us. Unlike most people, however, I was never like that. All I wanted is a comforting pat on the head and for you to look at me with your lilac eyes and have you say,
"I'm proud of you." I wanted your pretty eyes to have that emotion of pride, so that I could see and hear your words. I never got the chance. When Hanabi was born all you ever did was pay attention to her. I hated it. I was supposed to be your little girl. I was supposed to be daddy's little girl, his angel, his baby, his wonderful. I only had that for a short period of time. I only got that until I started training. Then everything went away.
When I first started you looked so hopeful, so assured that no mater what happened I'd beat everyone else. When I failed and did so horrible, your eyes grew so cold. You never looked at me the same. You voice grew angry with excuses for my incompetence. Despite the fact I was only four. I was only four years old. When Hanabi started training she was amazing. She was strong, talented, and everything you ever dreamed. I wasn't. I was never the daughter you wanted. I could fight well, I couldn't get back up with my legs and arms were broke, but she could couldn't she? She managed to pick herself up. You never helped her but she didn't need it, she was able to do it.
Then there was me. I was taking up space in our home. I guess, in a way, it was a good thing. I didn't have to train until I collapsed and couldn't move. I didn't have to fight until my knuckles bled and I couldn't bend my fingers because there was so much blood caked on. I guess that being weak and safe is better right?
There's always something that gets me. I wish I was the one who collapsed, because you would help me up. I wish I was the one who trained until my knuckles bled, because you would put band aids on them for me., I wish I was the one who couldn't bend her fingers because the blood was so caked on, because you'd nurse me back to health. If I was the one who did all that Hanabi would look up to me. Id include her, id listen to her, id console her. It shouldn't be the other way around. You know why? It's because,
I'm the big sister. Not Hanabi. God wasn't fair to me. Hanabi was the gifted sister, I was the weak one. I should be the one guiding my little sister, showing her the ropes per-say. I should introduce her to strong fighters who are my frequent companions. However that will never happen. For I am the weak one. I'm to intimidated to speak to anyone, for I was never taught how to be intimidating. However Hanabi can give one cold heartless stare and make ninjas seven years her seniors cower in fear. Not me. Never Hinata. Even Neji is stronger than me. It's not fair. I didn't even do anything and he hates me, but that in a way is good. At least he and my father would have something to talk about. Hanabi can do no wrong, but I cant even talk correctly. It's not fair. Maybe if I do something I can show my father how strong I am. However threes nothing I can do that Hanabi won't do in a few years, and she'd do it better. But- maybe, just maybe there's something I can do. That's why I'm standing outside my father's door. Why I poisoned him and made him bed ridden. Why I am standing outside his door. Why I've told him everything he did to me that ruined my life with a cold voice that he and I don't recognize. Before I start cutting him and shredding his ego had he did mine, I simply state.
I'm The Big Sister.
