"Boy, why are you crying?" – JM Barrie, Peter Pan


The gentle lap of the sea against the hull of the ship almost made Emma forget why she was aboard the Jolly Roger…. Almost. But Henry was seldom lost to her thoughts. It was only in these in-between moments, when she felt the calm of the sea wash over her that she could for a second forget and dwell on other things. The enigmatic captain one subject her brain grappled with.

Hook was undeniably attractive but Emma was hardly mooning over him, far from it in fact. He was a thief and a bounder – he was a pirate. He stole and plundered, he took what he wanted with little regard for others and loyalty was a concept he knew little of. And yet there was that niggling doubt at the back of her mind; she had been the the first one to doubt him. Had she set them on their course of mistrust and betrayal?

Wobbling across the well-scrubbed deck Emma just managing to stop herself from tottering into the helm.

"What happened to you?" the words tumbled from the blonde's lips before she could stop herself. It was a loaded question. One she had been longing to ask – she wanted to understand the man that had offered the use of his ship.

The animosity he felt towards Gold was like nothing she had seen before. No one was born with that much hatred in one's heart. Something had quite clearly come to pass between him and the sorcerer.

"A great deal of things have happened to me Swan," Hook squinted into the middle distance before checking his bearings. "You'll have to be more specific."

"Gold took your hand," Emma frowned, unsure of how responsive Hook was likely to be. "But what else did he take?"

Hook sent a sideways glance towards Emma, "Where do you think Regina learnt that trick with the hearts?"

"He took yours?" Emma questioned, her eyes widening. She could hardly be surprised; Rumpelstiltskin wasn't called the Dark One for nothing.

"Of sorts." Hook snorted, but there was no humour about him now. His steely eyes were still fixed on the horizon, his jaw still set in a grim line. "He took his wife's."

"Neal's mother?"

"Yes, Baelfire's mother's."

"Why would that..." Emma's voice petered off. "Were the two of you together?"

"Together?" Hook barked out a mirthless laugh. "I don't know why you people are so insistent on using words that rely on implications and euphemisms. We were in love Swan. I was unashamedly, unequivocally in love with her.

"And he ripped out her heart right on this very deck because she did not want him, because she had found love with another and rather than let her be happy, he took her. Took her from me all in spite."

"But they were married…" Emma started slowly. "You stole the guy's wife."

"Stole?" Hook spat. "I do not take people. Yes, I may have a penchant for gold and objects that belong to others. But I do not steal people. She came with me willingly Swan. I offered her adventure; I offered her an escape from a home she no longer wanted to live in.

"I admit, when I first met her she was merely a woman who managed to turn my head. But there was so much life in her, so much spirit and passion and every second she spent with that man she lost a little of it."

"What about Neal? What about her son? Didn't you think about him in all of this? He lost a mother because of you…"

Hook fixed Emma with an uncompromising look, "Understand this Swan, if Gold had provided Milah with a home she could live in, if Rumpelstiltskin had one fraction of the bravery you posses she would have stayed. He lost his own wife Swan, if Milah loved him I would have merely seen a beautiful woman in a tavern and my advances would have been spurned.

"Aye, there wasn't a day she didn't think about Baelfire and we were to go back for him when he was old enough. But the Crocodile saw to write his own ending."

"But then how could Neal steer this ship?" Emma cocked her head to one side, desperate to make eye contact with the pirate. Her superpower was faulty to say the least. But she could still see something in their eyes; she could see the flicker of a lie or the burning truth.

"An unhappy twist of fate," Hook smiled ruefully.

"What do you mean?" Emma questioned, her voice softening as her hand crept out to touch Hook's forearm.

The pirate stiffened at her touch, itching to move away from her. Swallowing heavily the pirate tightened his grip on the helm in attempt to exorcise his demons. "Where do you think I come from?"

"The Enchanted Forest," Emma frowned unsure of where he was going.

"Nay lass," Hook shook his head. "I am from the Land Without Magic."

"So you sailed to Neverland?" the blonde questioned incredulously.

"With a little assistance, yes." Hook nodded. "So when Baelfire fell into the sea and I fished him out I assumed from the clothes he was wearing he wasn't from around these parts."

"How did he get to my world?" Emma frowned.

"He fell." Hook shrugged, "Something his father did I believe. Needless to say, the Shadow found him in London and the Shadow took him to Neverland. Baelfire had some fight in him and the Shadow lost him."

"And you were the one that found him?"

"Yes," Hook sighed. "We all took to him. Kept him safe for a while but to my shame when I learnt of his parentage I hoped to use the boy as leverage against Gold and Pan. Needless to say, it didn't work…"

"Pan took Neal?" Emma questioned, her voice toneless as she was confronted with yet another betrayal of Hook's.

"Yes…" Hook flinched. "Another act to add to the weight around my neck."

Emma eyes suddenly filled with understanding, "That's why you're helping."

"Yes," Hook nodded simply. "I have long had my fill of adventure, I only seek redemption."

"Do you think it'll make you feel better?" Emma asked, her voice hardening. "You can't use Henry as some sort of magic band-aid."

"I have no wish to fix myself Swan, it's too late for me anyway. But I can spare you the need for revenge that has consumed me for the better part of two centuries."

Emma nodded slowly, her green eyes loosing their edge. "Why did you come to Neverland?"

"I was seeking adventure," Hook shrugged. "And Neverland gave that all to me in spades."

"Didn't want to settle down?" Emma teased, her eyes bright, forgetting once more that she was in the company of a cutthroat.

"After Balliol and my father's strict hand I knew it was a pirate's life for me."

Emma snorted, before quickly sobering, "Wait, what do you mean by Balliol?"

"Balliol College Oxford my dear," Hook offered her his devil-may-care grin, "Now get bellow, looks like there's a storm coming."


A/N: I know I should probably be adding to one of my many multi chaptered fics but I just watched all of season two and immediately wished that Emma and Hook would get it on already.

I'm unclear of how much Emma knows re Hook's history with Gold but I felt like putting some words down on the subject.

Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you think - reviews on the subject are always welcome.