Ah, so, yes, the drabbles continue. My imagination takes me to strange places, but again, if anyone's got some ideas, please let me know :3

This came about partially from Jun-I's comment from a while back, about the "Kyuzo vs. Kirara element. I thought it would be pretty fun to explore. :) It's indeed a Kyuzo vs. Kirara cat-fight, over, of course, Kambei.

The warning here is that they're both, especially Kirara, going to be more or less OOC, so as to...make it more funny.
This is actually pretty stereotypical. Neither of them are so catty...but, well, take it in good humor, haha..^^


It had started with a comment over dinner.

"It's unusual to see you for a meal, Kyuzo-dono." Shichiroji commented, passing a bowl of rice over to the woman. Quietly, she accepted the bowl with a nod of thanks.

"Sure is." Something in Kirara's tone pricked at Kyuzo's nerve, and she raised her eyes suspiciously to the priestess. "Very strange."

"Nice to have your company." Katsushiro agreed, oblivious to the sudden, exclusive, tension in the air.

Heihachi nodded amicably, smiling as always towards Kyuzo. "Very much so....meals should be shared among as many people as possible. The more the merrier."

"I agree." Kirara smiled sweetly. She then added, "Of course, it also depends who is there."

Her comment seemed innocent, but Kyuzo's eyes narrowed. All other chatter ceased in an instant.

"What do you mean?" Katsushiro asked, then stifled a yelp as something stabbed him unnecessarily hard in the back with what he discovered to be Heihachi's chopsticks.

"Heihachi-dono-" Katsushiro was about to ask something along the lines of "what the hell!?", but Heihachi's stern look stopped him.

Suddenly, from his other side, Shichiroji whispered fiercely into his ear, "Trust me, do not get involved. Keep your mouth shut and your eyes down."

"What for...?" He was about to find out. He looked around to find that every other man in the room was unnecessarily focused on their bowls.


Early in the morning, Katsushiro approached the older, more experienced men during a semi-private breakfast.

"Shichiroji-dono..." He started curiously, and the other man looked up at him from his seat. "What did you mean last night? What's going on?"

With a sigh, Shichiroji shook his head. "You haven't been around many women, have you, Katsushiro-kun?"

Katsushiro flushed, and, a little indignant, defended, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"That's a 'no, I haven't, please indulge me!'!" Gorobei let out a hearty laugh, and Heihachi snickered behind his glove. Katsushiro turned another shade of red.

"Look, Katsushiro-kun..." Heihachi smiled and pat the boy on the shoulder. "You just...want to stay out of their way."

"Out of whose way?"

".....Poor boy."

"Oh, no. They'll eat him."

"Just take the advice."

"H-hey!" Katsushiro frowned. "Can someone just tell me?"

"Alright, since we have to spell it out for you." Shichiroji laughed, in good humor, Heihachi and Gorobei joining, chuckling as the female-wide men teaching the newbie. "There's a new battle starting, so to speak. And not one of us can help win it."

Setting his bowl down and standing to wrap an arm around Katsushiro's shoulder, he continued, "A battle between women."

"Between women?" Katsushiro frowned.

"Mm-hmmmmmm." Shichiroji rubbed his chin with his other hand. "How to put it....look, when women, such as Kirara-dono and Kyuzo-dono start up with this kind of thing-"

"Wait...Kirara-dono and Kyuzo-dono?" Katsushiro echoed. "What does this have to-"

"Getting to it..." Shichiroji considered how best to put it. "They've just.....entered a rivalry. Kirara-dono is pulling Kyuzo-dono into a confrontation. They're fighting over...well....er....that's not important right now. Anyhow, they're in a bid for power, in a way. And when women feud, it's much different than when men fight."

"How so?"

"There's absolutely no winning it." Shichiroji smirked.

"What? But Kirara-dono and Kyuzo-dono are both very rational people. Why would they fight?" Katsushiro frowned.

"....He's hopeless." Gorobei laughed. "He'll find out soon enough."


Among all the life lessons Katsushiro had picked up on this entire journey, this was going to be one of the most fearsome.

Apparently very ready to engage in the strange sense of battle, Kirara's second strike came in the form of another quasi-meaningless comment.

Sitting on the porch of her home, she was carefully sewing a tear in her dress.

"Sister, you're so good at sewing." Komachi observed, impressed.

Giving no indication that she knew Kyuzo was only a few feet away, leaning against a tree, Kirara smiled at her sister. Snapping the thread in her hand with a loud twang, she replied, "You'll learn too, Komachi. Any woman should know how to sew well."

Giving no indication that she knew Kirara had aimed that at her, Kyuzo glared out of the corner of her eye.

If this little tart wanted a fight so bad.....she would get it.


With a slight huff of effort, Kirara heaved a bale of rice onto her shoulder. It was heavy, but she could do it. The girl felt no need to bother anyone with it, and she steadied the parcel on her right shoulder.

Silently, a very certain someone made a beeline for her from behind a cluster of trees. Kirara heard nothing, and began walking, unaware that she was being followed by someone barely two steps behind.

"That's weird..." Heihachi looked up from his rice ball. Pointing, he got the others' attention. "Lookit."

"That can not be good." Shichiroji commented. Some yards away, Kirara was walking with a bale of rice on her shoulder, Kyuzo right behind her.

"Why? Looks like they're getting along." Katsushiro got up with and began to walk towards them. "I'll go help."

He yelped as he was snatched by three pairs of hands all at once and yanked back.

"LISTEN to us!" Gorobei ordered. "Trust us on this, do not go near that."

"Katsushiro-kuuuuun, you'll die for sure!" Heihachi told the bewildered young man.

Kyuzo kept her eyes focused on the girl in front of her. She had still not noticed, and the taller woman took her time examining carefully the bundle of rice. Then, with a very wicked smile coming across her lips, Kyuzo determined her calculated target. With a nimble hand, she grasped the end of the string between her fingers.

The group of men were startled by a sudden shriek from Kirara as the entire bundle of rice came undone and spilled...everywhere.

"W...what did she...." Katsushiro stared, incredulous. "What did Kyuzo-dono do that for?"

Kirara had no idea what happened, staring at the rice on the ground and very aware of the rice that had fallen its way uncomfortably into her clothes and hair. Whirling around, she suddenly found Kyuzo standing just behind her.

Kirara's face was completely blank, in a state of shock, until she noted the string still dangling between Kyuzo's fingers. Then a very deep scowl came onto her face, and she glared at the audacity of this woman, whose smirk made it all the more infuriating.

"Why would you–!?"

"Excuse me." Kyuzo interrupted her, "I don't know my way around sewing thread...or string.."

Turning on her heel, Kyuzo strode away, pleased with the stunned look on Kirara's face, and apathetic about the very nervous faces witnessing, of course, her victory.


What Kirara did in retaliation could have been a death sentence.

Kyuzo was sitting on the steps, while several of the samurai loitered nearby, chatting. They expected, about as much as Kyuzo, that the door would suddenly open.

Kyuzo predicted even less that she was going to get doused from behind as Kirara emptied the bucket from the house.

Frozen in place, an extremely dark expression came onto the blonde's face. Drops of water dripped from her hair and off her chin, not even bothering to turn around. The others had, as before, instantly shut up.

"Oh, Kyuzo-dono!" Kirara poked her head out. "I'm so sorry about that! I was emptying the water from the flower pots..."

It seemed so, because some bits of grass and a wilted flower had somehow stuck onto Kyuzo's hair and coat. As she stood, she took a very deep breath and turned slowly to the priestess, who was giving her an innocent, doe-eyed look.

With a collective gulp, the rest of them remained still as statues, watching tensely.

"Don't mind it." Kyuzo said, surprisingly, and turned, walking elsewhere to dry off and likely plan her next attack.


As it turns out, "planning her next attack" was exactly what Kyuzo was doing. Her revenge came later that day.

Kirara hummed jubilantly as she shook out the robe of her cream white priestess outfit. She slid the wooden rod along the sleeves so it hung straight, and she placed it on the rack.

"Hey look, it's Kyuzo-dono!" Komachi shouted from atop Kikuchiyo's shoulder and pointed. Kirara turned to see the familiar red form walking nearby. "You should apologize for the water thing, right?"

Kikuchiyo added, "Hey, maybe you can give her coat a really good wash or something, you know, to say "sorry"?"

"She said not to mind it. And she's perfectly capable of cleaning her own coat if she wanted to." Kirara told her sister, "Unless, of course, she doesn't know how to do laundry...."

At the side comment, Kyuzo stopped dead in her tracks. Kikuchiyo was laughing at the joke, but, predicably, Kyuzo ignored him. Or more, she had someone else she was more intent on.

"Uh-oh...." Komachi covered her mouth with her hands. She became more nervous as Kyuzo changed course and came up to the pair of girls.

"But of course, you do know how to do laundry, yes, Kyuzo-dono?" Kirara asked.

A long moment went by, until Kyuzo gripped the handle of her sword. In a flash, she drew it and made a lightening-fast slash before she sheathed it again.

Blinking, confused, Kirara and Komachi didn't know what she had done. Until, of course, Kirara's robe suddenly fell, cleanly sliced in half, along with the rod it was on, to the floor with a clatter.

Kirara's mouth dropped open. She was deaf to Komachi's cries of how "amazing" that was.

"Woah, Kyuu, why'd you do that!?" Kikuchiyo boomed huffily. "She's going to have to sew that back together, you know!"

Kyuzo smirked, turned, and walked away. "Looks like I don't know how to do laundry."


Angrily, Kirara kneeled on the floor of her house. She was furiously sewing her robe back together. It had been a clean cut, so it wasn't difficult to simply fasten it back together. Of course, that meant she had to spend the time stitching the garment instead of doing the thousand other chores she had to take care of. As it was, she would barely finish in time to begin dinner.

"Kirara-dono..."

Her eyes snapped up at Katsushiro's voice as he cautiously entered.

"What is it, Katsushiro-sama?" She snapped, unable to check her frustration. The clipped words took her visitor off guard.

"Uh...." He frowned, wondering what happened to her robes. Until he recognized the mark of a sword cut, in which he was able to imagine the rest. "I just wanted to know..what exactly is happening between you and Kyuzo-dono?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know...why you two have been-AHH!"

Kirara looked up in surprise, to discover Katsushiro had disappeared, the flap still swinging back into place.

Having been yanked backwards and pulled out the door, Gorobei's hand was clutched over Katsushiro's mouth.

"What did we tell you!?" Shichiroji snapped and grabbed Katsushiro by the shoulders, the normally calm man shaking him slightly for emphasis. "Look at me, look at me, Katsushiro-kun."

When he was assured that Katsushiro's bewildered eyes were focused on him, he said, "Don't get involved. Do not ask anything. They'll never admit to there being a problem. It's all between them. I don't care if one of them is your would-be-girlfriend-if-she-hadn't-rejected-you-for-a-man-twice-your-age."

Katsushiro's face turned red. "She's not my–....wait...they're....fighting...over...Sensei?"

"Ding, ding, ding!" Heihachi clapped his hands. "You're a little late but it's okay."

Shichiroji sighed and released Katsushiro. "It's not really a secret, is it?...come on Katsushiro, all of us figured it."

Katsushiro's face was lit bright red...again.

"That lucky dog." Gorobei shook his head. "Most men would kill to have one woman, but to have two fighting over him...."

"And pretty good women, if you ask me." Heihachi tapped his chin in thought. "But Kirara can cook rice, so I would go with her."

"Of course you would." Shichiroji gave him a flat look, but a smirk pulled at his mouth all the same. "The world doesn't begin and end with rice, Heihachi...."


The bout between the two women continued. Although no one would dare broach the subject with either of them around, they all found it a mixture of interesting, amusing, and worrying.

Kyuzo got a nasty surprise after a nap, when she drew her swords to practice, and found that tree sap had 'mysteriously' found its way inside the sheath, and entirely down the lengths of two blades. Not only did it take an amazingly long time to clean the swords themselves, but also the inside of the sheath, and spent the next day swatting off flies and other bugs attracted by the lingering sweet scent.

Kirara was not pleased to find that her beloved books, had, with surprising skill, had their covers undone and switched. Thus, she spend hours carefully untying the strings that held them together and trying to rematch each text with its respective cover. 'Whoever' had done it had been very good at tying very complex and tight knots, and by the end of it, Kirara's fingertips were rubbed red and sore, and the fury lingered on her face in such a way not even Komachi dared speak to her.

Kyuzo did not like the village children running up to her and following for almost three full hours begging for her to play with them, tugging at her coat and grabbing her hands, planting childish embraces on her legs and waist, because they had been told that actually, Kyuzo was a very nice person once you got to know her, and she just needed some convincing. Not surprisingly, Kyuzo was not very fond of children, but had the control not to smack them away, no matter how she wanted, and had to settle with repeating over and over that she did not want to play.

Kirara was later heard screaming in terror at the angry family of raccoons that had somehow been trapped inside her house. By then, they were all extremely agitated and frightened at a sudden intruder, which was, of course, Kirara coming into her own home. (No one knew how Kyuzo managed that, and no one asked.)

Kyuzo then had to make do walking around for several hours with most of her bare legs showing. This was because while she had been bathing, 'someone' had snuck up and walked off with her pants. So a secretly very embarrassed woman had to wander around pulling her long undershirt down to her thighs, the rest of her legs still very much visible between the slits of the coat as she walked, until she found her pants hanging on a high tree branch. (She wouldn't dare climb up without them. Kyuzo had to go get Katsushiro to retrieve them for her.)

Kirara didn't think anything of Komachi running up to hear, pleased with a teruterubozu Heihachi had shown her how to make. She presented Kirara with a gift of another teruterubozu, that had been from Kyuzo-dono. However, she wasn't sure, as she told her wide-eyed sister, why Kyuzo had cut the head off and told the little girl to relay to Kirara the message that "samurai can do the same thing to people."

And so it went.


"You can't do anything about this, huh?" Shichiroji sighed.

"Do you think I'm mad enough to get in the middle of that?" Kambei answered with a smile.

His companion shrugged. "You're already in the middle of that, whether you like it or not."

"Technically, maybe, but I'm not getting involved." Kambei took a long drink from his cup, faintly wishing it were some sort of alcohol.

"See, Katsushiro-kun, not even this lunatic would say a word to two fighting women." Shichiroji gestured grandly with both hands. "There's no hope of a man's victory there."

"Er...but shouldn't we do something? Shouldn't we try?" Katsushiro asked timidly.

"Ain't nothing you can do about it." Kikuchiyo told him. "Trust me on this."

"But it's gotten so...." Katsushiro searched for the right word.

"Oh yeah, they're going pretty far." Heihachi laughed. "Make no mistake. But those two are especially determined. Neither is going to back down."


And in fact, neither of them did. There seemed to be brief periods in which the fighting stopped, and in vain, the men hoped it was over. It always seemed as if it had been long forgotten, at least until it flared up again. And anything set it off again; a snide comment from Kirara, an especially dirty glare from Kyuzo, and they mentally groaned at the sound of the starting bells.

At one point, they were afraid it was bordering on violent. Of course, if it ever turned into a physical dispute, they were all fairly sure Kanna wouldn't welcome them any longer with the gruesome pummeling of their priestess. Or, even scarier, the possibility that Kirara would simply be 'spirited away'...

Of course, this all ended a few weeks later when Kambei blatantly announced his and Kyuzo's engagement. Not that it meant no hard feelings between the two women. In fact, it was obvious the very nasty grudge they were holding against each other.

But at least the fighting stopped.

Once, Kyuzo asked Kambei why he had chosen to ask her at this particular time, and announce it to everyone. Both of them, after all, valued their privacy.

"So you two would stop fighting. It was getting out of hand." Kambei chuckled.

It was a joke, but it didn't save the poor man from the dirty glare Kyuzo gave him, and it certainly didn't save him from a punch in the face. And no one was particularly surprised that Kambei was walking around for a few days with a black eye. They had already anticipated Kyuzo to be 'affectionate' in odd ways.

However, if they had known the circumstances, they probably would have admitted Kambei deserved that one.

And that is how the story of the (non-fanservice) catfight between Kyuzo and Kirara went.

Except, of course, for Kyuzo's bare legs. She didn't like this fanservice one bit. Other people did. But that is perhaps a story for another day.


Each time I read this story for editing purposes, it occured to me just how strange this got.

There's the Heihachi and Komachi making teruterubozus again...it was by accident. Actually, I began writing this before I started the next chapters of An Encounter, so...ah whatever.

I don't know why Kyuzo got so offended at Kambei's joke. I mean, if he decided he had to stop them by marrying one of them, that means he chose her anyway, right? :3....Well, actually, I could see where she'd get kinda touchy about that.