Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, nor do I own any part of Glee because if I did things would have ended differently and there would be no point for me to write this. :] Also I do not own any of the songs used.


She couldn't help being entranced in his familiar voice as it filled the theatre, her eyes watching his every move and never tearing them away from him as if she was possessed. Even as she knew she should be with the rest of her team, she couldn't force herself to move as if her feet were an actual part of the floor. Her eyes stung to see him again as if haunted by a ghost that would never go away, his voice a forever song that stuck in her head, unwilling to leave. She wouldn't admit it to anyone, not even her dads, but she didn't want to forget him. Forgetting would mean that she was over him, which was something that wasn't true at all, even though Finn had professed his love for her, he was still stuck in her head and most importantly, her heart.

Even when she finally found the ability to move, it was hardly even a few feet, his voice still like a call straight out to her and she found herself staring into the face of one Jesse St. James. Maybe it was only hope, a very unbelievable hope, an impossible hope, but she would swear that when his eyes swept the audience he was looking to find a certain pair of brown eyes. Her very own eyes, trying to resist the urge to catch his, to be drawn back into his charms, but she knew better, her wounds were still too fresh, the pain still way too real. So as Jesse finished the song, his eyes found the retreating form of one very familiar brown haired beauty, and he forced himself to look away, getting carried away by the applause, a well practiced show face on.

Rachel couldn't stop herself from going to talk to her mother, her speech perfect, just like she had rehearsed and the outcome was even as she expected. She couldn't even shed a tear over it, as she went to join her team, the night blurring into a rush until finally the moment she had been waiting for happened. After the judging, the winners were to be announced, Aural Intensity a mere runner up, leaving victory looming right in their reach and Rachel and Jesse shared a glance at each other as Aural Intensity was dismissed. Rachel had earlier faked a glance at the judges, her eyes had really landed on Jesse, she had missed him, even after what he'd done and she wouldn't admit why. Admitting why would mean these feelings were real and that she had been faking her emotions with Finn, which she wouldn't accept.

She couldn't deny that after their eyes had shared a moment, connecting once again, that she knew they both felt something, the loneliness awakening, a yearning rekindled and she struggled to put on her most confident of show faces. She believed New Directions would win, her hands clasped tightly to Artie's and Mercedes', she knew in these moments no one in the team doubted their most certain victory. Which is why when Sue announced the winner, everything seemed so deathly silent.

"And now, your 2010 Midwest Regional Show Choir Champion-" A pause as Jesse and Rachel took another chance to glance at each other, most reading it as a simple action as if to intimidate the other, but under it all there was more. "- Vocal Adrenaline."

Sound exploded once more, Vocal Adrenaline going crazy with excitement, and Rachel had to admit her disappointment. Her face fell, the show face falling, her heart sank, all their so tightly grasped hands had released when the breath they had been holding in was knocked out of them by the results. Jesse was in the spotlight, lifted up by his team as he held the trophy over them, literally, New Directions getting a tiny trophy that was a mere consolation prize.

Jesse chanced a glance over at Rachel, careful to keep a show face on for his team, but the broken look on one brunette's face nearly destroyed his resolve. The look seemed even worse than when he broke the egg on top of her head, he had the impulse to rush over, and an emotion he had ignored was swelling up inside of him almost too much to endure. Yet it was only through his acting skills and rigorous training that he was able to crush the feeling, also looking away helped to kill it. Victory was tainted, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth and he couldn't help, but feel guilt, even as they carried the trophy off stage, her face haunted his mind. If only things could have ended differently.


The bus ride back to Lima was quiet, Rachel didn't even find any comfort in the fact that Finn was sitting next to her, even holding her hand. She gazed out the window, she felt both disappointment and as if the trophy had been unrightfully taken from her and New Directions. The knowledge that glee would now be over hung in the air, a subject no one dared to talk about for fear it would make it real.

She could hear Finn's voice, but if fell on deaf ears, her mood not one willing to be lightened and soon even he shut up. Yet, in her mind, Jesse's voice was still there singing Bohemian Rhapsody, it was just as perfect as it had been when he performed, well except he wasn't performing with her. She knew if they had been together on stage the whole thing would be moot point, two powerful, high achieving, success orientated stars would have stolen Regionals and that is exactly what she and Jesse are. Upon arriving back at McKinley High School, Rachel bolted from the bus, leaving Finn confused, but she didn't look back as she made her way to the car.

She climbed into the back of her father's car, both of them in the front seat, Leroy driving while Hiram was in the passenger seat, both appearing confused. Rachel has always been a diva, but for her to not enter the car either yelling with joy or screaming in anger was bizarre to say the least. They were expecting either of the options, but the silence wasn't even something they thought would happen. Hiram decided it was best to say something, his curiosity now piqued.

"So… How did Regionals go?" Hiram asked, in a gentle tone, ready for the explosion of either rage or joy, but once again both men were to be surprised.

"Amazing… you should have seen it, he was flawless up there, the choreography outstanding, his voice was perfectly harmonized and really the outcome was no surprise when I think about it."

Leroy smiled, "I'm glad Finn did so well, sounds like you nabbed the trophy after all, surprised you didn't come show it to us though."

He glanced back in the rearview mirror to see Rachel's face that broke out into a smile as she laughed, and he kept driving on.

"Oh Dad, I wasn't talking about Finn! His voice could never have done that song justice, I'm talking about Jesse."

Hiram notice Leroy tense slightly, although they had never pried too deeply in exactly how Jesse and Rachel broke up, they knew he really hurt her. When they did break up Rachel had kept everything quiet, but they suspected that her fellow glee members knew why, but respected Rachel's wish to not dig into her 'romantic' life. Hiram cleared his throat, putting his hand on Leroy's forearm and sliding it down to grasp his hand and intertwine their fingers, rubbing circle in the back of Leroy's hand to sooth him. Leroy visible calmed down, but Hiram was the one to speak, just in case.

"Oh what was he singing?"

"Bohemian Rhapsody, I wish you could have been there and heard it, it was nearly flawless, and it could have been flawless if I was the one to sing with him, but that would have been impossible."

Hiram smiled, the sparkle in Rachel's eyes at talking about Jesse didn't go unnoticed by him, however Leroy was completely blind to it, just knowing Jesse had hurt her was enough to cause anger to boil up inside him. Hiram had to rub circles into Leroy's hand in another attempt to comfort him, the love Rachel still held for Jesse evident as she continued to rant on about Jesse's performance. He hadn't seen Rachel smile this much in a while, the break up had shaken her and yet the same person who had caused her pain was now bringing joy back to her. Rachel was completely lost in her own thoughts, her rant on Jesse finally coming to a close, she wished she had a way to hear him sing again and so she went back in her memories to when they sang 'Hello'.


Summer passed in a flash, her memories only blurs of displays of love between her and Finn, songs she practiced and a few musicals she attended. Yet even with Finn by her side as she walked down the halls of McKinley High School, she felt a loneliness she had felt building up all summer long. The phrase 'it's lonely on top' seemed to pop in her head, fitting perfectly to her mood, she finally had Finn, she was 'on top' and yet she was lonelier than any time before. Pushing the feeling aside they made their way to the glee meeting where Mr. Schuester found it necessary to remind everyone of Jacob Ben Israel's latest nasty blog comments. A few touching words later and Mr. Schuester's comment on glee needing to expand, that glee needed new members and Rachel joined in on it.

"Yeah Mr. Schuester's right you guys, you didn't see Vocal Adrenaline at Regionals, they were epic, we're going to need more voices in order to beat them."

Finn automatically agreed with Rachel, taking his spot up next to Rachel, who was standing up by Mr. Schuester. Giving another speech to the rest of the glee club, Mr. Schuester announced that Nationals would be at New York City this year and the excitement was evident. They started formulating a plan to recruit more people by deciding to take the music to them, so they quickly got ready to sing in front of the school in the school's courtyard. Donning their clothes of black 'New York City' shirts along with black pants and bling they burst out singing 'Empire State of Mind'.

The only reaction to the song was the glee members' reactions which were one of pure disappointment and bewilderment. No one had even paid attention, sure a couple of kids nodded their head, but none took any further notice to the glee members. Rachel didn't even care as she made her way out of the school, once again ignoring her boyfriend to go find solace in some silence. However as soon as she found herself alone in her car, she felt her thoughts overwhelming her. What if she failed the glee club in finding more members? What if they wouldn't even be able to compete? What would she do if all she worked for was to be destroyed just by the fact they were short one member? Who would be willing to join the glee club given they are unpopular and anyone who joined would start being slushied?

She remembered seeing a girl admiring her while she sang, the girl was small and petite with big black framed glasses that made her face seem small. If Rachel could get this girl to join, she would save the glee club, be a hero and maybe this could feel the empty void that had settled in her heart. Once the thought of emptiness popped into her head, it was hard to shake it, the empty, lonely feeling that had grown ever since Regionals, and ever since one Jesse St. James.

There his name was again, in her mind, plaguing her thoughts, spreading like a disease, it made it impossible to even think of anything else. She could remember him perfectly, his cocky grin that was a signature to him, his blue eyes that were always sparkling and then his gorgeous, curly brown hair. Even as she thought of him she had a desire to be able to tangle her fingers in his brown locks one more time, the desire to stare into his blue eyes and the desire to feel his lips on hers. His signature look of dark clothing, usually jean jacket, or a leather jacket, but always stylish, something Rachel found herself failing at. She couldn't help, but smile, because Jesse had never insulted her attire, where many people commented on her awkward clothing, he always told her she looked beautiful.

She nearly had to slap herself to stop thinking, realizing that the silence was in fact a bad thing, so she made a point to listen to music when she got home. She came home to an empty house, which was a very common thing that happened, with both her dads working; she very often was home alone. The only person who knew just how often she was alone was Jesse, since they had both taken advantage of her father's absences before, which lead to many make out sessions with very few times they were ever interrupted. Usually Rachel didn't mind the empty, silent house, but today the last thing she wanted was silence, especially when everything reminded her of one curly haired boy.

Pushing thoughts of Jesse aside became harder, hurrying up the stairs to her room, she ran to her stereo and pressed play, but the music didn't help at all. In fact, it only made it worse, tears stung at the corner of her eyes as she fell into memories and let his voice comfort her aching, lonely heart.


She remembered the days perfectly, it was when she had said no to doing 'it' and he wasn't happy at all. He had stormed out forgetting his care bear, but they would make amends later in the library and she would stupidly agree to do 'it' with him. After staring into the mirror at her own reflection, her 'deer in the headlights' look, she knew she wasn't ready, but how could she tell him? So she made up some story about the glee club, but came clean and said she wasn't ready, waiting for him to go storming out once more. Yet, he didn't, he took her hands in his, leaning forward to kiss her and he planted the softest of kisses on her lips before pulling back. To say she was shocked would be an extreme understatement and she looked into his blue eyes, he was smiling knowingly.

"I said I'd wait until you were ready, so we'll wait. I do however, have a surprise for you, I was going to wait until after, but now I think this might lighten the mood."

He stood up, walking over to his coat that lay on the ground; he pulled something out of the pocket and made his way over to her stereo. Putting in a CD, he let the music speak for itself and if her reaction was any indication to her feelings, he had just proven to be the best boyfriend. The way she ran to him and hugged him as those familiar words were sung, by two very familiar voices, it was their voices harmonizing together perfectly for their song.

"Hello!
I've just got to let you know
Because I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying I love you."

The very same song that was blasting out of her speakers, she had turned the volume up, so that their voices filled the empty house. She remembered recording the song with Jesse so long ago and she had been so touched when he had brought her a CD of them singing it after their sex fiasco. They had recorded the very song downstairs on her father's piano, him playing the piano and singing, their voices just the same as when they had sung in the music store. Since she hardly used her stereo and used her IHome much more often, she hadn't even realized she had never taken the CD out. Yet, she couldn't bring herself to take it out even now and instead settled on lowering the volume and going to find out more about that girl she saw in the schools' courtyard. The familiar song of 'Hello' had brought life back into her, her heart felt that empty space be filled, not even bothering to realize it was being filled back up by Jesse.


Rachel was very eager to find Sunshine soon and encourage her to join the glee club, so when the girl walked into the bathroom while she was hanging flyers. Rachel couldn't help herself, but to pounce on the opportunity, immediately going into a speech to persuade the girl to join glee club. When Sunshine broke into 'Telephone' by Lady GaGa, Rachel couldn't withstand the challenge also realizing that Sunshine was actually a good singer. Sue broke them up by, doing what she is best at, yelling. After an awkward pause, Sunshine spoke asking for when auditions were and Rachel had to dismiss herself so she could formulate a plan.

"Let me get back to you on that and don't tell anyone about this."

With that the girls went in opposite directions, Rachel was filled with worry, struck by the horror of if this girl joined what her own fate might become. She couldn't allow anything to jeopardize her position as the star of glee club and this girl would be bright and new. Sunshine could lull people into thinking she was better than Rachel was and then she would be ignored as Sunshine rose to fame. So her brain was working fast trying to create the perfect plan to eliminate the competition and she figured fear of life as an unpopular glee member might work. She decided to pitch the idea to Kurt and Mercedes, which ended up in a disaster, both of them saying they could use Sunshine to help the team beat Vocal Adrenaline. Kurt and Mercedes willing to give up solos for the team was very noble, but didn't persuade Rachel to change her tactic at all. Instead she thought up a new plan, giving those two a little speech on caring for them before she nearly ran out of the room.

She couldn't squelch her impulse to stomp the competition, which is a bad habit, but a part of her, her competitive streak running farther than her nice streak. Rachel put on her show face as she approached the small Philippine girl named Sunshine, her best happy smile and her most cheerful voice. Handing over the directions she was thrilled, the girl suspected nothing and after a thank you, Rachel turned on her heel. She couldn't help but feel joy spread inside of her, a skip slipping into her step as she headed off. Her glee teammates may be sad at first, but would soon realize that she did it for them and then who would be able to stay mad at her. She was the one who had to make the hard decision, saving the rest from doing it, her actions were truly honorable.

However, the next day the outcome of her actions ended much differently then she thought they would, instead of her teammates thanking her, she was reprimanded. Due to the close Asian community, both Tina and Mike found out about what Rachel had done, going immediately to tell Mr. Schuester.

Rachel was sitting down in a chair, looking perplexed as Mr. Schuester spoke, his voice full of disappointment, telling her to make things right. As if she had done something wrong by protecting the glee club, keeping Sunshine out so that she couldn't outshine anyone and make sure each member kept their contributions. She knew that her excuse did nothing to make anyone less mad, but it was the truth, or at least part of the truth. She didn't want to ruin how the glee club was and if Sunshine did manage to twist people into believing she was good then that would mess up the dynamic of the glee club. Not to mention it could knock herself down from being the number one member of glee club, which couldn't happen.

Rachel had to swallow down her pride, choke the impulse to eliminate the competition and tried to make amends. She was thankful to hear that Sunshine would meet at the auditorium, it would cost a new set of sheet music, but it would be worth it. All her friends in glee club had turned, attacking her verbally as if her very essence was poisonous and might hurt them. None of her teammates, her 'friends', understanding that she wanted to protect them, that her motives weren't selfish, but rather selfless. The anger directed at her by her fellow teammates felt like a knife in the back, backstabbing an understatement in this situation.

After Sunshine's audition for glee club, singing 'Listen' from Dreamgirls, the whole team warmed up to her and Rachel hoped it could repair their relationship. Any hope of that was stripped away when the glee club found out that Vocal Adrenaline had snatched Sunshine away with the tempting benefits of a green card and condo for her and her mother. The anger the glee club felt for Rachel was intense, only Finn managed to stop them from completely kicking her out, but the seed of hate was already planted. She had to leave, her emotions too much, even singing a song didn't help, 'What I Did for Love' and she found herself heading home, waiting to find solace in his voice.


Days had gone by since Sunshine had left for Vocal Adrenaline, the only times Glee members decided to talk to her were through texts and short, mean, insulting texts at that. Many she would get during the week and weekend were short and only one word was in them, the most common words were bitch, selfish, controlling, freak, and self-centered and any combination of those words. Some texts even included diva, but were followed by bitch, a main topic in the texts were their questions of why and doubt to whether any of them still wanted to even talk to her, let alone be friends. Finn was even angry, but due to their relationship and understanding of one another, he let it slide as long as she would remember that it was bad and she shouldn't ever do it again.

Rachel was unlike herself this weekend, she kept with her morning routine, but her normal happy attitude was gone, only due to the fact her father's were going to be gone this Saturday and Sunday did the change go unnoticed by them. After finishing on the elliptical Saturday morning, she found herself uncharacteristically sad, deciding that a shower might refresh her also she would indulge herself by listening to the CD.

She had been unable to listen to it more than once since after the Sunshine mess, she had only gotten through the song for the first time when she heard her father's car outside. They were both home early, due to the fact they were to be gone away on business this weekend, they were given Friday off so Rachel quickly shut off the CD fearful of what her fathers might think. A little secret Hiram didn't share with the rest of his family was his acute hearing, upon opening the car door; he heard music, the familiar tenor of one boy that was harmonizing with the familiar voice of his daughter. At first Hiram merely dismissed it as Finn, but upon continued hearing of the voice, it struck him, the voice was none other than Jesse St. James'. The fact that both the piano and voices were cut off meant only one thing, it could only be a CD, that and the fact that both the Berry men knew that Jesse was currently at UCLA. Having both heard it from him and Rachel many times, mainly on the topic of what Jesse was going to do with his life and where Rachel wanted to go to college. Hiram just shook his head, he had always known how deeply in love those two had been, but seemed like just another moment like before when all she could talk about was Jesse's version of Bohemian Rhapsody. She wasn't over Jesse at all, in fact, she seemed to be even more in love than when she was before, but the major fact that conflicted in his mind was knowing that Rachel was currently taken by one Finn Hudson.

Rachel was happily surprised when her fathers kept her schedule very busy on their time off, Hiram made her favorite vegan meals, grilled veggies and tofu stacks and the other being vegan blueberry pancakes. Rachel always believed the breakfast is the most important meal of the day, hence the protein shake, so she loved it when her fathers would cook breakfast for dinner. Following that Hiram also made a batch of vegan lemon sugar cookies, baking wasn't something he did much, so it was a definite surprise when she could smell their aroma throughout the house. While Rachel was a true vegan, her fathers were still on the fence, but would try to do anything to make her happy. They very often had vegan meals; it was a lot easy to just cook the one meal, so Rachel felt success in pretty much converting her fathers into the vegan lifestyle.

Leroy had been persuaded into playing the piano and singing with Hiram, this quite unusual, usually Rachel begged for her Dad to play the piano, but Hiram was sneaky, trying to keep his daughter chipper by doing all those things she loved. The family singing time was a welcome event for Rachel and she joined in as they sang, blasting through a number of show tunes. Ending the Friday night off, Hiram chose a song and their voices joined together to sing 'Patience' from Dreamgirls.

The hot water of the shower mixed perfectly to the music, her voice joining in, yet she always waited for his, and Jesse never disappointed. She felt a smile on her lips as she washed the shampoo from her hair, but gasped as she realized she had forgotten to put the CD on repeat. She was about to go running for the stereo when his voice cut her off, paralyzed as the water ran down her body, his voice holding the same strength over her as it always had.

"Rachel Berry, I promised you epic romance and that is exactly what you will get. I'd like to apologize for my rash decisions early, I will never force you into anything and I promise to keep these promises to you. Now since songs always express my feelings in the best way."

His voice broke the silence, the piano starting in the background along with a guitar as a song he'd never sung for her before filled the space of her bathroom. The music captivated her for a while, before she started listening to the lyrics, instead of being merely enthralled by his voice.

"And you play it coy but it's kinda cute.
Ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do
Baby don't pretend that you don't know it's true.
'cause you can see it when I look at you
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything
You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday
I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything
You're every song, and I sing along.
'Cause you're my everything.
Yeah, yeah
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la."

As his voice faded, a long pause, before the CD started over, her fear of the CD turning off was unnecessary, but that wasn't even a thought in her mind as she let a few tears fall from her eyes. The emotion he had poured into the song was evident, it was beautiful and more than anything it just helped to reinforce the thought that had sprung to her mind when she had first heard their song play on her stereo. He honestly did care for her, but that thought only brought more tears to her eyes, glad she was alone, because she felt the cries overtake her. Her sobs loud as she felt her heartache, the empty feeling only expanding at her new realization and another thought entered her head, she could never be happy with Finn as long as she still cared for Jesse St. James.