Title: Realizations Part 1
Pairing: Michael/Maria
Summary: I was not happy with how the writers dealt with the Isabel/Michael pregnancy scare. This is how I envisioned Maria reacting to overhearing Isabel and Michael talking in the Crashdown (some of that dialogue I'm throwing in here to get the story going). There is a little Alex/Isabel thrown in this too. Nothing changes in the overall plot of the series. Do not repost without permission.
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me of course. Merely using the wonderful characters created for Roswell to satisfy my romantic heart.
"Well, I've never been that happy before," Michael let out.
Maria paused as she made her way into the kitchen. She peered around the corner and saw Michael talking to Isabel in hushed tones.
"Is that what you want?" Isabel asked.
"I don't know." What is going on? Maria wondered.
"Well, what is this going to do to everyone else. You and Maria, me and Alex?" Isabel's words stopped Maria from entering the kitchen and asking them what the problem was. Her stomach immediately turned into knots. She had a feeling she wasn't going to like hearing the rest of this conversation.
"Let's not think about that right now. I just want you to know that I'm not going to let you go through this alone. It's my baby, too. Maybe this is the way things are meant to be. 'K?"
What? Maria turned around quietly and started for the back entrance. Baby? Cold bruising fear washed over every inch of her body. She couldn't panic. Couldn't scream. Her only emotion, only feeling was a numbing horror that froze her.
Maria sought air, air to calm herself, deep breaths to control her racing thoughts and steadily growing anger.
She slipped outside the Crashdown and leaned against the wall in the alley for support. Surprisingly, tears didn't pour down her face. They caught in her throat, threatening but Maria closed her eyes and focused. Her father.
"That was worse. Nothing's felt worse. Not this. I'm strong enough for this. I won't let him hurt me again," Maria whispered out loud, trying desperately to convince herself she could handle this.
I just don't want anyone to ever come between us. Thinking of those words Michael had said to her only a few days ago broke her. She couldn't fight the tears anymore. Her hands tried to stifle her sobs and wipe away her tears as fast as they came. It wasn't working.
Maria tried to take deep breaths. She couldn't go back inside. Not yet. She couldn't face Michael. Or Isabel.
Images of Michael kissing, caressing, loving Isabel popped into her head. She felt sick. Michael and Isabel were supposed to be like brother and sister. How could that all change so quickly? Confusion nagged at Maria. Made her want to run into the kitchen and demand an explanation from Michael. But Maria feared hearing the truth.
Isabel was model gorgeous, perfect, stunning, the same species! "I'm such an idiot!" Maria muttered. It was only a matter of time before Michael rejected her, once again. She knew it was coming but had hoped and prayed that Michael would realize that he needed her. Like she needed him.
Maria felt queasy as she tried to catch her breath and stop crying. She was not only sick because of what she'd just heard but because she knew what her reaction meant. Maria was totally madly in love with Michael Guerin. She couldn't pretend any longer. In that moment of seeing Michael hold Isabel so tenderly, Maria knew he'd never love her back. What they'd shared was nothing to him.
Maria's anger grew. Her fear dissolving to pure passionate hate towards the only boy who held her heart and who continually abused it. "He doesn't deserve me. He so doesn't deserve me. I'm too good for him... Who am I kidding? I'm nothing like perfect Isabel Evans," Maria sobbed. Tears started to spill again.
She hated this. She hated feeling so damn weak over someone who treated her so poorly. Hadn't she learned anything from watching her mother all these years? Maria felt worthless. She hated Michael for making her feel that way. And she hated herself even more for allowing a boy to have such control over her emotions.
Maria quickly wiped her eyes when she heard the back door start to creak open. And who had to appear but Michael Guerin, the one person she wanted to hurt and love more than anyone else in the world besides her father.
"Hey. What are you doing out here?" he asked as he came out with several trash bags in hand.
Maria refused to look at him. She knew if she did there was no telling what she'd do. Kick him. Run. Kiss him. Scream. Instead she focused on an old piece of gum stuck to the pavement right near her foot. It was an odd green color. Long ago that piece of gum had been inside someone's mouth. Maria almost forgot Michael was there. Almost.
"Maria?" Michael asked as he tossed the bags into the nearby dumpster. He started walking towards her. Maria stepped away from the wall, flinching at the tender way he said her name.
She turned her head towards the blue sky above, finally looking away from the drab concrete of the alley ground. She didn't know what to say. His footsteps were coming closer. Her mouth opened. Words escaped her.
"Don't. Don't come near me Michael." Maria finally looked at him as he stopped moving towards her. Confusion marked his face.
"I don't want to know you or ever see your face again," Maria expressed with so much venom she impressed herself. She turned around and her legs started carrying her down the alley in a fast stride. She could do this if she could only keep walking.
"What? Maria! Stop!" Michael exclaimed as he quickly went after her. She felt his hand grab her shoulder. Wrong move. Maria was now filled with a fire she'd never known.
"Don't touch me!" She spat out as she knocked his hand away and spun around to face him. Michael looked annoyed.
"Maria, I don't have time for any lectures-" he began as he stepped towards her.
"I know Michael. I know about you and Isabel." That stopped him cold.
"What?" he asked lamely.
"Don't give me that. Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. I heard you and Isabel talking in the kitchen. I know."
Michael just looked at her with shock on his face. He didn't say anything. He wasn't denying it or fighting back. Michael's lack of emotion only set Maria even further off. She knew she'd say things she'd regret. She knew she'd let her anger and pain overwhelm her, but she couldn't stop the words from spilling out. Maria was broken.
"I hope you two are happy together. I only wanted you to be happy Michael. I don't know why I even tried since you obviously get some sort of sick pleasure out of hurting me. Well, let me assure you I don't care anymore. You never deserved me."
Michael ran a hand through his hair and let out a sigh. "Maria," Michael said wearily, "You don't understand. Will you just calm down? This is... complicated."
"Calm down? How can you expect me to calm down Michael?"
Maria threw her hands up in frustration. Michael just stared at her, not making any attempt to explain things to her. Even a lie would be better then his silence. He looked scared. But Maria refused to see that. He still wasn't reacting. Just standing there, not even able to look her in the eyes. Maria's anger and fear only doubled.
"Got nothing to say Michael? How about admitting that there's never been anything between us? You think you're so different but you're just a guy Michael, a typical guy who enjoys using girls. And I guess that makes me a typical girl who let you get away with it too many times. Well, that's never happening again."
Maria rushed past him and headed towards the Crashdown. She had to get away from him. She didn't know how long this brave front would last. He made no move to stop her as she swept inside and bounded up the stairs to Liz's. Michael did nothing. What else was she expecting?
Luckily the door was open. Liz's mom was at the kitchen table working.
"Maria?" she inquired, looking towards the door.
"Hi Mrs. Parker, just came to get something for Liz," she quickly said with as much cheeriness in her voice as she could muster.
"Ok honey. I've actually got to go and run some errands. Just lock the door when you leave," Liz's mom remarked as she walked into the living room.
"Sure," Maria answered, turning towards Liz's door to avoid letting Mrs. Parker see her reddened eyes.
Once safe inside Liz's room, Maria let out a soft sob. She heard the front door close as Mrs. Parker left. Maria looked towards Liz's bed. Where Michael had almost died... even though she personally wanted to do some damage to that boy, thinking back to that night she'd been so afraid they were going to lose him. She was going to lose him. The memory of seeing him so sick still haunted her.
Maria went towards the window and pulled it open. She still needed air and a chance to calm down. Pull her thoughts together. And cry.
She sat down against the wall and did just that. Cried out all her anguish, frustration and hurt. She didn't have enough tears.
