A/N & Disclaimer: This is a Kagura fanfic! At this point, I have absolutely no idea where it's going! I just felt like writing one, because all I could think about at the end of the series was, "What about Kagura, she's gotta know how Kyo feels!!" So this is just my interpretation of what happens with her after the anime ends. And Fruits Basket belongs to its respected owners. (This diclaimer applies to all other chapters as well).

Kokoro no Hitan

Kyo was finally happy. I could see it in his eyes. That girl, Tohru Honda, had warmed him in a way that I never could. Maybe, in his past, he sought my hand for comfort, but today I watch in hidden agony the way he smiles warmly when he's with her, the way he looks at her when she's turned her head.

Of course, everyone who lives at Shigure's house has never noticed just how many times I've walked there and then walked back, maybe after seeing Kyo laughing with Tohru as she was hanging up laundry, or just talking on the side porch. Everything's been different since she saw him, since she saw Kyo's true form.

He's opened up to her like he's done to no body else, not to me, not to Shigure, not even to his own teacher.

Of course, they all probably expect me to still go after Kyo, because I'm a boar. Stubborn and all...

Don't get me wrong! I still love him. More than he'll ever know, but there's no use loving him now. He doesn't need me, and I'll just be hurting him if I try to get between him and Tohru.

Maybe I shouldn't've let her go after him, maybe I should've gone after him myself, or maybe I should've went with her.

It doesn't matter. It's too late now. Or...maybe...Maybe it's always been too late.

I don't know. I don't know anything anymore.

I overheard Tohru once, though, as I was walking to Shigure's house.

She said something like, "Hey, Kyo, did you notice that Kagura hasn't been to visit in a really long time?"

Kyo laughed. "Yeah, huh? Isn't that great! I can finally relax without having to worry about her stalking me!!"

I cried all the way home.

Of course, there was no one to rescue me from the endlessly pouring rain. No one to comfort me as I transformed and flew off into the woods. And no one came to look for me when I had been gone for three days without a word to anyone.

When I finally came back, I though Akito was going to be angry. I was wrong. She had changed him too. He was still a little prone to anger, but his jealousy had subsided tremendously.

I had to go to him to excuse myself of my absence.

"Where did you go?" he asked, not sounding too concerned as he lay on the floor, a small white bird sitting on his hand.

"Um..I..," I had been looking at him, but then I looked at the floor. "Into the forest, Akito-san."

A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "I see. No one can totally cure the curse of the Sohmas," he had said, as he got up and walked onto the porch. "You must deal with your pain."

"Thank you," I had said, and then I got up to leave.

But I heard him mumble something before I totally shut the door. "But that girl, Tohru, has somehow found a way to lighten the curse."

Tears welled up in my eyes. I felt ashamed at my anger towards her.

Here, everyone was happy with Tohru. She had taken burdens off so many hearts. Maybe it was different for me, because I am female, and those who seemed most relieved were all the males. Maybe. But I wasn't sure. And I'm still not.

Occasionally I take walks by Shigure's house. After all, the Sohmas own acres around it. Many times I've looked at the house from trails no one uses anymore. And I sigh as I look at Kyo's bedroom window.

He just doesn't understand. I always think. I just don't know why he can't understand. We're so...alike.

And then I'd drag myself back home and collapse crying on my bed, the pain just too much.

It really isn't that I'm angry at Tohru. After all, I can see in Kyo's eyes that he loves her, that she lifted so much pain from him. And I'm not exactly jealous either. I pretty much knew that I could never be the one Kyo truly loved.

But still. It hurt so much. And the pain just won't go away.

And now I'm lost, and I don't know what to do.

-Kagura Sohma