To say a lot had changed since Tenzin had reluctantly agreed to try and train Korra in Republic City would be the understatement of the century. It didn't seem like it to some, to most actually, but there were brief moments that would flash by like photographs and if you were lucky enough to catch one, you'd see it. The slight way Korra's jaw clenched before speaking in attempts to give time for thought instead of impulse, or the way her body melted onto the southern ledge of the island overlooking Avatar Aang's memorial. She was growing every day. Maybe not in the outwardly way everyone expected, but internally it seemed like her organs were constantly shifting, her heart always growing larger but the fear simmering in the pit of her stomach always just a few steps behind. She was at war with herself, constantly, and the more it ripped her open, the more she grew from within the cracks.
She rubbed her hands over her bare arms, registering the coolness of the ocean breeze, but not paying it much mind. She should've missed the stars, the way they exploded over the blackness of the polar Southern sky, but there was something in the way the city lights illuminated the bay. It was almost as if the city didn't sleep, as if they made their own stars. Her eyes scanned over the skyline until they fell upon the pro-bending arena. It wasn't quite in shambles, but she could see the scaffolding plastered against the edges of the four towers, trying to rebuild all that she had broken. A big grey tarp way pulled tightly over the glass that cracked along the contours of her body, and she felt a pang on her stomach knowing that she had not only failed in bringing Amon to justice, she had destroyed Mako and Bolin's home in the process of her failure.
And then of course there was the Sato mansion on the hill, illuminated by searchlights as the new task force tore apart every inch of the home that had raised Asami. Korra knew they probably weren't being gentle as they ripped and tore apart the foundation that had held up her broken family for so many years, pulling apart walls that had captured her mother's voice all those years ago, and splintering floorboards that had touched Asami's bare feet the first time she walked on her own. All of those memories shattered the minute she held being Avatar higher than any relationship. What she knew was right for the city, broke her friend's heart, and it seemed like no matter how many times Korra tried to piece the city itself back together, something else, someone else, crumbled.
She pushed her the few stray hairs that hung over her brow back and raised a knee to rest her weary arms. She never expected the weight of the world to be this heavy, and she wondered where the incredible promise and glory of being "the chosen one" had gone.
"Korra?" A deep voice called from the trees behind her, leaves rattling in the wind. "Korra, are you out here?"
She could recognize Mako's voice in any crowd, even in the chaos of the Equalist rally or the raid on the arena, she could always hear him—loud and clear. Tonight, though, it didn't slice through the air with its usual vigor, instead it merely danced on the aftermath of an ocean breeze, as if it were mocking her. His voice so easily carried and bending with the air, but her powerful hands destined for greatness couldn't produce one measly puff of air.
"Korra, there you are." Mako's voice grew close as she heard a branch snap back. "Tenzin asked me to come get you for dinner, but-" He shifted his weight and tried to peer around her closed off face. He knew how exhausted she was and the frustration that built, but he never saw her like this. She radiated guilt; it steamed off her skin like an awful stench. "Are you okay?"
"Yup, I'm fine." She nodded, taking a deep breath in through her nose before squinting back out across the bay.
"Korra, you know you can talk to us about anything. Me, Asami, Bo—we all care about you. You know that right?" He asked, unmoving.
She nodded, afraid that by opening her mouth again her voice would crack. Just another broken piece. Mako stepped forward and sat himself down next to her, his knee perched for an armrest, much like her own stance. He pulled his scarf up to his lips, letting the smoky aroma fill his nostrils, reminding him of a man who always knew the right thing to say, the right thing to do.
"Tenzin cares about you too." He continued, "And Pema. Those kids worship the ground you walk on. And I know Chief Beifong isn't the greatest at feelings but hey, I know she—"
"I'm a failure." Korra said, matter-of-factly.
"No you're not! Korra listen to me—"
"Yes I am, Mako." She said, her voice unwavering as her eyes stayed fixated on the water kissing against the shore. "The Avatar is supposed to be a beacon of peace, a unifying factor between nations who would otherwise have nothing in common. I'm supposed to keep the balance. But I can't even keep the balance within myself. It's like I'm two different people, but at the same time, trying to fit in a body that houses the spirits of all the past Avatars. I feel like I'm splitting at the seams here."
"No one expects—"
"Oh, everyone expects. Everyone does. They see me and they think of everything Aang did for this city, the power of Roku before him, the strength of Kyoshi—I've never been just Korra to them, and I won't be until I can manage to rise above the bar that those before me set." She sighed, "But I can't seem to do that. Every time I try to be the Avatar, you guys need me to be Korra, and every time I want to be Korra, the world needs me to be the Avatar."
She took a moment, her eyes wandering up towards the statue that dominated the bay. Avatar Aang, in all his glory, still looking over the city that his next life was supposed to continue to protect. She should feel proud looking up at him, but instead she felt insignificant. Like he was the world, and she was just a leaf.
"Korra, we don't need you to try to be anything. We just need you to be you." Mako pulled the scarf higher up, suffocating in the scent.
"Good advice, I'll get right on that." She let out an exasperated sigh, "If being myself was good enough, you wouldn't have chosen Asami."
Mako caught his breath, pulling the scarf down and shifting himself to look her in the eye, "Korra, is that what this is about? Asami?"
"Yes. No. Maybe." She shook her head, "I'm not upset that you're happy with her Mako, or that she embodies everything you could ever want in a girl. I'm not mad that you defended her when I completely destroyed her life, or that she takes you away from practice all the time for lunch dates and rides through the park."
"It sounds like you're upset." He retorted, a little too quickly.
"I'm upset that she can do that for you. That she doesn't worry you every night by running off on some suicide mission to take down a madman who wants to watch the benders of this city burn in our own fire. That she doesn't make you get so upset that you pull that scarf over your mouth and run off in the other direction. That she doesn't constantly put you and Bo's lives in danger. That she isn't expected to be a teenage girl and save the world." Korra shook her head; "I never realized how much I've been fighting to be normal when all I ever wanted was to be special."
"I don't want you to be like Asami." Mako said, "I like you just the way you are."
"We'll see if you say the same thing after this war is over." She let a smirk crawl across her lips, "I really do want you to be with her though, Mako. As long as she makes you happy, I want you to hold onto that and not worry about me. I don't want you to think about that kiss or how conflicted your feelings are between us, because I'm giving you the out here."
"How so?" He raised an eyebrow.
"I'm letting go, Mako. I can't be caught in a tug of war between you and the world. I know that the world needs Avatar Korra right now, and you need Asami, and maybe once this has all blown over and Amon in brought down, I can go back to being Korra that owns you in the pro-bending arena. But until then, you are my best friend Mako. I will be there for you through anything, but I have to do this." She nodded, "I have to focus on my training, I have to figure out how to get a hold of Aang and I need to figure out a way to take Amon down. Not just because the world needs me to, but because you guys are a part of that world, and I am going to protect you with everything I've got."
"Korra." Mako took her hand in his, "You don't have to do this alone."
"I'm not, remember?" She tapped on her heart, "I've got a whole extended family just waiting to voice their unwanted opinions."
"I meant, us. All of us. We're here for you."
She squeezed his hand lightly, "I know."
"And when this is all over—"
She leaned her head forward, slowly, his eyes locked on hers. Words escaped him as Korra pressed her cheek against his and her lips whispered into his ear, "When this is all over you better believe I'm going to give Asami a run for her money, City Boy." She smirked, pulling away from him and starting back towards the temple.
He watched her walk away, his hand pulling the scarf to his cheek in hopes of capturing whatever whispers she left behind. There was a new air to her, the way she walked like the weight she carried was nothing more than a speck of dust on her traditional water tribe clothing. He clutched his scarf as the sea blew a powerful breeze through the cracks of the cliff, the few scattered leaves bellowing up in a whirlwind around her. But as the wind died, instead of falling to the ground the leaves continued to dance on the wind her hair created as it swung with her lips, weaving in and out of her fingertips.
What beautiful things come from such broken things.
A/N: This is my first LoK story here, so I hope you guys enjoy! Reviews are always welcome! Thanks for reading! :)
