A/N: Well, my first piece of fanfiction posted on here so...tell me what you think, ne? Warnings of attempted rape? Shuichi over-reacting and maybe some OoCness. Hopefully it's not too bad.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation, only the manga which I had to work hard to buy and afford. So don't try and sue me, you'll get nothing, mwhahaha.

Not Supposed to Be...

by Sumi-chan

Shuichi stood by Yuki, impatiently bouncing on the heels of his trainers. He hated these long, uninteresting talks the other man frequently went to. Promoting his new books was important though, and so Shuichi went with him out of loyalty and love...and because he had nothing else to do. Hiro was having a date with Ayaka and Ryuichi was having a date with Tatsuha. So...he was having a sort-of-but-not-quite date with Yuki.

He smiled and waved at Mizuki-san who was standing a little ways away at the food stand and wished he himself was over there trying all that delicious looking food, he could feeling his mouth watering already just at the thought. "Ne, Yuki?"

"No," the other man replied quickly, not even waiting for him to finish.

Shuichi frowned slightly in response, tapping his foot on the ground. "You didn't even listen to what I was going to say!"

"I don't care," Eiri Yuki replied. "The answer would still be no."

Shuichi felt his eyes fill and stubbornly shook his head. "Fine," he sighed out, turning to look at the food longingly. He could hear his stomach grumbling but he ignored it, instead waiting for Yuki to finish talking to this newest person who had vied for the popular author's attention. "Yuki?" He tried again, pulling on the older man's sleeve slightly.

The blond-haired man let out an exasperated sigh in response, turning to the pink-haired boy. "What?" He demanded.

Shuichi cringed back and let go of the man's sleeve, dropping his arms to his side uselessly. "Nothing, I'm just going over there to talk to Mizuki-san." He left the other man still talking to yet another prestigious woman and walked slowly over to the buffet table, eyes on the floor, scuffling his new trainers slightly. Why was Yuki being so mean today? He'd been fine before they left. Maybe it was having to talk to all these different people that was quickly shredding up his nerves?

He made it over to the long table without mishap and immediately grabbed a paper plate, filling it with all sorts of foods that were offered. He failed to find Mizuki though and assumed she had also gone to mingle with the other people.

This wasn't the place for him. He belonged on a stage in front of thousands of screaming fans, not this quiet, stuffy place. He felt strangled, desperate for air, a way to get out. Closing his eyes tightly before opening them wide again he grabbed the food and started scoffing it down himself, ignoring the curious and amazed looks of those around him. He didn't care what they thought. He was hungry and he was going to eat the way he wanted to!

It was only a few minutes later when he'd finished half of the food that he started to feel slightly sick and stopped. "Ugh, too many cakes..." He muttered to himself, still holding his plate in his hands. He looked over to where Yuki would still be standing and grinned happily to himself as he noticed the other man smiling...but then he noticed who the other man was smiling with.

His own grin failed as he watched them, looking at Seguchi's animated hand movements and lively expression. What was he doing here? Why Seguchi Tohma be at a book convention-thing?

He was just about to go over there when he noticed the two of them walking away. Out of the door to the patio outside...didn't Yuki remember he was still here? He watched them go, staying glued to his spot.

He only moved when he saw Tohma reach out to slip his hand into Yuki's and...Yuki let him.

His food went careening to the floor and he let out a choked cry. "Y-Yuki..." he felt his eyes begin to fill again and this time he let them, feeling his cheeks begin to feel wet. Why was Yuki leaving with Tohma? Why was Yuki leaving him behind?

This...Yuki loved him! This wasn't right! Why wasn't he taking Shuichi out onto the patio? Holding hands with him and smiling at him and...why? He tried to calm himself down, knowing he was jumping to conclusions. He looked over at the two of them, seeing the interested look on Yuki's face, and the happy expression on Tohma's. Yuki never looked at him like that...was never interested in anything he had to say, immediately shutting him up instead. His eyes followed the two of them until they were both outside, not being able to tear his eyes away. This was...why was Yuki going out...out i there /i with Tohma. Shuichi had heard rumours about what went on out there on the patio and...why were Yuki and Tohma going out there? Why hadn't Yuki taken him out there!

"Doushte Yuki?" He asked forlornly before suddenly running out of the stuffy filled room himself, moving around the other people to crash into the door. He roughly pulled it open and stepped out into the cool night. He ignored the darkness, the calls from behind him and raced out into the dark.

All he could hear was his speeding heart, the sound of his feet pattering on the ground. He didn't notice where he was going, had no set place in mind as he ran, not taking account of the millions of alleyways he went through. He lost track of the nameless faces he came across and when he eventually stopped he choked on another cry and slid down a wall to rest on the floor.

Burying his face into his hands he let the tears fall freely down his face, letting them trail down to form water marks on his trousers. He'd dressed up tonight, for Yuki. Worn a suit, a penguin suit that Hiro would have laughed at. That Ryuichi would have loved to imitate.

This was...he could feel his heart breaking into a thousand pieces, again and again and he couldn't do anything to stop it. "Yuki...you promised...Yuki..." he let his words trail off and kept quiet for an uncountable amount of minutes.

It wasn't supposed to be like this...he loved Yuki and he knew that Yuki loved him back. "I...Yuki...why? Seguchi-san is...I..." He couldn't speak anymore, he could feel his throat becoming clogged up with emotion and he felt so helpless. "This isn't fair!" He dug his hands into his eyes, whimpering slightly as he rocked on the heels of his shoes. His outfit was ruined, his heart was ruined, everything was ruined!

"What's not fair, love?" A drunken voice slurred from above him.

Looking up quickly Shuichi shuffled back into the wall, wrapping his arms around his upraised knees. Someone had heard him...but they couldn't see him in the dark...maybe if he just crept away.

Then a bright light was shining straight into his eyes and he winced, bringing up a hand to defend himself from the startling rays. His eyes, already raw and hurting from the pain of crying, red and sore, were further tortured by the brightness. "Take the light away," he managed.

A man stepped forward then, tall and dark against the background of light. It looked...odd, not right, lights were supposed to surround angels. "Don't think I will," he replied, "you look so beautiful in the light. Like that Eiri kid..."

Eiri? Yuki Eiri? Shuichi let out a gasp of shock and quickly made to stand, feeling his legs almost giving up on him but stubbornly holding onto the wall behind him. He squared his shoulders a little and glared at the man. "You've met Uesugi Eiri?" He asked- no, demanded. He had to see if his suspicions were correct. Jumping to conclusions at a time like this wouldn't help any. "What...how?"

The other man smirked and smiled at him slightly. "I guess you'll find out in a minute right love?" He asked, coming closer.

Shuichi quickly moved back away from the man, shuffling along the wall until he was stopped by another one. He was in a dead end alley? Perfect. "Baka," he muttered to himself, feeling the tears start up again. "Yuki's baka, he's right. I'm an idiot."

The man let out an impatient bark of laughter, "Stop muttering to yourself and get over here."

Shuichi shook his head quickly and dived down behind a bin, hearing it rattle alarmingly as he banged his head into it. "Itai!" He cried out, holding his head. He knew there'd be a bruise in the morning. Just like they'd be scrapes along his legs from where he'd thrown himself down, and tears in his suit that Yuki wasn't going to like...Yuki.

He shook his head again, trying to rid himself of those thoughts and concentrate on the task at hand. Yuki wasn't here! He had to get himself out of the mess he'd dug himself into.

He cautiously peered over the bin and wondered where the man had gone. He wasn't standing in the place he had been.

Then he began to feel the hard weight on his back and he let out a moan of pain as something dug harshly into his ribcage. The man's shoe...he let out a gasp and huddled into himself, trying to save his ribs from further damage.

He cried silently to himself, begging Yuki to come and find him...beginning anyone to come and find him. He...this was making him feel so helpless and he hated it! What had happened to the great singer of Bad Luck? He was going to be famous! Damn Seguchi-san! And..."Baka Yuki," he said through gritted teeth, feeling his hands clench into fists. Damn the man on top of him, determined to try and hurt him in all ways possible...The way he'd been paid...to do to Yuki.

That thought stuck in his mind, turning around in his brain, replaying over and over in his brain. It wouldn't go away, even was the other man scratched at his back. He'd done this…to Yuki...his love!

He reached out with his fists, pummelling at the other man harshly, screaming at him to get attention. He pulled up his leg to knee the other man in the groin and smiled slightly at the grunt that echoed because of the action. He then bit down on the hand that held his shoulder down, that same hand quickly drawing back. He spat then on the other man, showing his disgust for the human being who had dared to hurt his Yuki before ducking down under the man's arm and running again, racing away on tired feet and wary legs. His roughly wiped at his eyes as he went, trying to remember which way he'd come. He had to see Yuki again!

He had to go ask the other man to his face. He couldn't just forget about what Yuki had told him that one time by the lake. At his house...Yuki wouldn't forget that either would he?

No, Yuki loved him. Him, Shindou Shuichi, not Seguchi Tohma. He didn't love the keyboardist of Nittle Grasper, he loved the vocalist of Bad Luck. He did! Or...Shuichi was going to find out the cold, harsh truth for the first time since they'd met.

He made it back to the stuffy, warm room, panting and out of breath. He looked a state surrounded by gloms and prestige, with wind-blown hair, mud on his face and tattered, torn clothes. His cheeks blushed pink slightly in embarrassment and he ducked his head from the curious stares, looking around for the person he wanted to see.

When he couldn't see the blond head, cool smile and beautiful eyes, he let his own amethyst eyes fall on Mizuki-san instead and he elbowed through the crowd to get to the other woman.

"Mizuki-san!" He cried, grabbing hold of the woman's wrist. "Where's Yuki? I have to find him! Please tell me where he is!" He looked at the chic woman with anxious, wide eyes. Wide from delayed shock and something else. He had to find out where Yuki was!

"Shindou-san...what's wrong?" Yuki's editor replied back, first cheerfully before she took in Shuichi's appearance. "What happened?" She asked instead in surprise.

"Anou...it was rather short actually. Some guy attacked me in an alley but he got what was coming to him." He barked out a laugh, waving his arms in the air wildly before calming down and coughing slightly. "I need to find Yuki! Please Mizuki-san?"

"He went out with Seguchi-san a few moments ago. If I remember correctly you were eating over by the buffet table when they left."

Shuichi nodded impatiently before quickly thanking the other woman and head-tailing for it outside onto the patio, which he now realised was now an extensive garden. He let out a moan of dissatisfaction. How was he supposed to find Yuki in all of this?

He bit his lip slightly before starting to run again, rushing around through the gardens and disturbing other couples looking for a few moments of quiet before joining the fray back inside. He muttered quick apologies here and there as he went, wincing when he got some couples in more...compromising positions, smirking at a few he saw, taking pointers from others. He almost stopped when he caught sight of two males heavily making out under a tree before he shook his head and brought his attention back to the task at hand.

"Must...find...Yuki..." He managed through gritted teeth.

"What is it now, baka?" A cold voice said from behind him.

Shuichi twirled around sharply, almost falling over in his haste before he launched himself at the other man eagerly. "Yuki!" He exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around the taller man. "I'm so glad I found you."

"If I recall Shindou-san, we are the one's that found you," an amused voice said from behind the blond-haired man.

Shuichi's eyes widened and he quickly disentangled himself from Yuki, missing the strange look he got from the older man. "Ah...really...I, uh...you see. I wanted to talk to Yuki alone," Shuichi replied quickly.

The producer and keyboardist raised an eyebrow before turning to Yuki. "If Eiri-san wants me to leave I shall go back inside and have another little chat with Mizuki-san." He somehow turned the question into a statement, a fact Shuichi was well aware and slightly envious over. But Yuki was his. Right?

Yuki gave a slight nod towards the other blond-haired man and Tohma bowed slightly before taking his leave. "I will talk to you later Eiri-san, about what we were previously talking about."

Shuichi watched Yuki nod in response and almost gulped when the cold, but still hauntingly beautiful, eyes turned to him. He could feel his toes curling in his shoes and he had to fight the urge to smile dopily back at the other man. But he smiled back anyway, a bright, wide smile that belied what had happened just moments ago to him.

He didn't care about that...his Yuki was paying attention to him...and only him!

"What is it, baka?" The other man said abruptly.

Shuichi continued to just smile before he suddenly reached up and kissed the other man full on the lips, taking the other man by surprise. When he didn't react for the first few seconds Shuichi pulled back just as quickly, feeling doubt crawling upon him again. Maybe he was wrong...again.

"Yuki...I...I wanted to ask you something..." His voice trailed off slightly and he looked down at his feet, scuffling his shoes again on the smooth concrete beneath them.

"What is it? Just spit it out." Shuichi looked up at the other man, pouting slightly.

"You don't have to be so mean about it! I'm trying to talk to you and..." He wrapped his arms around himself, casting his eyes to the floor again, feeling yet more tears fill his eyes. Hadn't he cried enough today? You'd think he'd be used to the constant verbal abuse by now.

He was amazed when Yuki reached out to gently tilt his head upwards, reaching out his other to wipe at his tear-stained cheeks.

"Anou...Yuki...do you love Seguchi-san?" He asked, wincing slightly, half-not wanting to hear the answer.

Yuki looked at the boy, to startled for a moment to reply. His gaze turned questioning before he raised the hand that had previously been holding Shuichi's chin to his forehead, tiredly rubbing at it. "You thought that? Baka," he smirked slightly and reached down to caress the boy's lips lightly with his own. "Is that why you ran off?"

Shuichi let out a gasp, not just because of the tender, kind lips but the words that came from them. "You mean...you saw me! Then why didn't you come after me?"

Yuki breathed out an impatient sigh. "I thought you just needed some fresh air! How was I supposed to know you were being a baka again?"

"You went off with Seguchi-san! How was I supposed to know what that meant?" Shuichi replied in his defence, standing up straight so he could look the other man in the eye, face set in a determined expression. He lifted a finger to point at Yuki's chest. "You...I thought that maybe you didn't love me anymore and I got scared!"

Yuki shook his head in defeat, pulling the boy closer to him and wrapping his arms around him. "Nothing happened between me and Tohma, you're being delusional."

Shuichi almost stuck his tongue out but refrained from the gesture and instead wrapped his hands around Yuki and pulled him down for another kiss. "Yuki? You know..." No, he wouldn't mention that. Not when Yuki was being so kind and...loving to him. Maybe some other time. He wouldn't bring up bad memories for the other man now. He nodded slightly instead. "You know I love you. And...I don't like Seguchi-san!"

Yuki raised an eyebrow but decided to question this new piece of idiocy coming from his lover. He was used to such outcries by now. Shuichi would forget he'd even said it tomorrow. "Whatever baka, just shut up now," he closed his mouth effectively over Shuichi's. Best way to shut the idiot up. Now all he had to do was find out why the other boy looked like he'd been through the bushes backwards. Later though, a lot later.

To be continued...? If you like it maybe