wow, i'm obsessed with these.

should i continue?

or leave it here?

haha.

=)


chapter one.

shikamaru's screwed.


To: cherries328(at)konohamail(dot)com

From: purplebabe923(at)konohamail(dot)com

Subject: LYKOMFG.

Oh baybee. I am so stoked! Like beyond words!

Shikamaru, you know, my compadre since birth, has gotten a girl. Yes, forehead. A GIRL.

This is as epic as when Sasuke asked me out. Or when Gaara asked you out.

Le gasp.

Mucho love,

Ino, Your Epic Gal.


To: purplebabe923(at)konohamail(dot)com

From: cherries328(at)konohamail(dot)com

Subject: WTF.

No. Freaking. Way.

NO WAY!

Shikamaru? Our lazyass who thinks anything having to do with women is "troublesome?"

TELL ME WHO NAO, BETCH.

You know, I agree on being surprised when Sasuke asked you out... but I take your comment about Gaara and I as offensive.

Really, pig. That was mean.

Love is nonexistant on this end,

Sakura, Your Not-So-Happy Amiga.


To: cherries328(at)konohamail(dot)com

From: purplebabe923(at)konohamail(dot)com

Subject: YOU BAD FRIEND, YOU.

Yes. That Shikamaru.

You will laugh so hard when you find out who it is. Really.

Oh, noes, babe. I didn't mean it that way, haha.

But seriously. Gaara is every bit of antisocial as my honeybun Sasuke-kun is.

It's the truth.

Well, I love you,

Ino, Your Bestie With A Hawt Boyfriend.


To: purplebabe923(at)konohamail(dot)com

From: cherries328(at)konohamail(dot)com

Subject: Okay, yeah. So he is.

WHAT. THE. EFF.

TELL ME.

YOU HO.

I hate you,

Sakura, Your Bestie With An Even Hawter Boyfriend.


To: cherries328(at)konohamail(dot)com

From: purplebabe923(at)konohamail(dot)com

Subject: I don't lie, babycakes.

Oh, well.

It's TEMARI.

Your boyfriend's sister.

Si.

No, you do not hate me,

Ino, Your Friend Who Thinks You Speak Blasphemy.


To: sandmaster119(at)sunamail(dot)com

From: cherries328(at)konohamail(dot)com

Subject: Hey, babe.

It's that time of day, hun! When I get to spam your inbox with unnecessary comments. Teehee.

Of course, today, you may want to pay attention to what I write you.

Heart,

Sakura, Your Sexmazing Girlfriend.


To: cherries328(at)konohamail(dot)com

From: sandmaster119(at)sunamail(dot)com

Subject: (No Subject)

Hi.

What is it?

-Gaara.


To: sandmaster119(at)sunamail(dot)com

From: cherries328(at)konohamail(dot)com

Subject: Put a subject, damnit. Jeez. Haha.

Do you happen to have a clue of who Temari's dating?

Just wondering,

Sakura, Who Is Hoping You Don't Kill The Boy.


To: cherries328(at)konohamail(dot)com

From: sandmaster119(at)sunamail(dot)com

Subject: What is it with you and your obsession with subjects?

No. I don't.

I'm not making any promises, Sakura.

-Gaara.


To: sandmaster119(at)sunamail(dot)com

From: cherries328(at)konohamail(dot)com

Subject: Well, they're there so you can use them. They're not there for decoration.

Well, now you will. Cuz I know no one else is going to tell you but me. How gay. Ha.

Anyway, it's Shikamaru.

(Babe. You know he's one of my best friends. No murdering him, please.)

Praying you don't murder him,

Sakura, Who Doesn't Want To Lose One Of Her Male Besties.


To: cherries328(at)konohamail(dot)com

From: sandmaster(at)sunamail(dot)com

Subject: They're completely useless.

Since he is your best friend, I grant him a day's headstart.

Tell him that.

-Gaara.


To: sandmaster119(at)sunamail(dot)com

From: cherries328(at)konohamail(dot)com

Subject: ARE NOT!

It's a day because that's how long it takes you to get from Suna to Konoha, right?

Nice try,

Sakura, Disappointed In You.


To: cherries328(at)konohamail(dot)com

From: sandmaster119(at)sunamail(dot)com

Subject: Yes, they are.

...no.

-Gaara.


To: lazycloudwatcher922(at)konohamail(dot)com

From: cherries328(at)konohamail(dot)com

Subject: RUN.

You have a day.

My boyfriend knows.

I'll stall him as long as I can.

If you get what I mean. ;)

Best of luck,

Sakura, Your Awesomesauce Friend Who Warns You Of Imminent Danger.


To: cherries328(at)konohamail(dot)com

From: lazycloudwatcher922(at)konohamail(dot)com

Subject: Damnit.

Fuck.

Okay, Sakura. Didn't need to know that.

Especially about you two doing the deed.

Cuz, I assume that that's what you mean by distraction.

-Shikamaru.


To: lazycloudwatcher922(at)konohamail(dot)com

From: cherries328(at)konohamail(dot)com

Subject: Teehee.

Psh. No...

You perv.

Do all men only think with their dicks?

You fail,

Sakura, Whose Respect For Thee Has Diminished.


To: bbqchips51(at)konohamail(dot)com; cherries328(at)konohamail(dot)com; hinagurl1227(at)konohamail(dot)com; nejihyuuga73(at)konohamail(dot)com; sandmaster119(at)sunamail(dot)com; puppeteer515(at)sunamail(dot)com; windfanmistress823(at)sunamail(dot)com; tenchan39(at)konohamail(dot)com; suchiha723(at)konohamail(dot)com; ramenIStheSHIT1010(at)konohamail(dot)com; purplebabe923(at)konohamail(dot)com

From: lazycloudwatcher922(at)konohamail(dot)com

Subject: Goodbye, my friends.

Goodbye. I shall now mysteriously disappear and be found days later mutilated beyond recognition.

-Shikamaru.


To: lazycloudwatcher922(at)konohamail(dot)com

From: windfanmistress823(at)sunamail(dot)com

Subject: WHAT!?!?!?!?

WHAT!?

Love,

Temari.


To: lazycloudwatcher922(at)konohamail(dot)com

From: purplebabe923(at)konohamail(dot)com

Subject: WHAT THE EFF, SHIKA.

WHAT THE EFF ARE YOU ON, YOU ASS!?

Mucho hate,

Ino, Your Bestie Since Birth.


To: lazycloudwatcher922(at)konohamail(dot)com

From: cherries328(at)konohamail(dot)com

Subject: That's a tad dramatic, is it not?

Wow. Gaara-chan's not going to do that...

Confuzzled,

Sakura, Whose Patience Is Thinning.


To: bbqchips51(at)konohamail(dot)com; cherries328(at)konohamail(dot)com; hinagurl1227(at)konohamail(dot)com; nejihyuuga73(at)konohamail(dot)com; sandmaster119(at)sunamail(dot)com; puppeteer515(at)sunamail(dot)com; windfanmistress823(at)sunamail(dot)com; tenchan39(at)konohamail(dot)com; suchiha723(at)konohamail(dot)com; purplebabe923(at)konohamail(dot)com

From: lazycloudwatcher922(at)konohamail(dot)com

Subject: Ugh. Sorry.

The blonde idiot (no, not you, Ino) wrote that.

This is most definitely the last time I ever tell Naruto anything.

-Shikamaru.


To: lazycloudwatcher922(at)konohamail(dot)com

From: sandmaster119(at)sunamail(dot)com

Subject: (No Subject)

I'm still going to murder you.

One day, Nara.

-Gaara.


please review.