Important: So, to the people who've read Growing Up, I know that this story is up quicker than anticipated, and I'm just as surprised as you are. But it turns out, I'm not ready to let go of this story. So I've already gotten the first two and a half chapters mostly ready, and I hope you'll enjoy it.

However, what I'm going for in this story is a hit or miss. You'll either like it or you won't, and you'll discover in this chapter whether or not you'll hate it.

Also, it takes place 2 years after the events of Growing Up.

And to the people who haven't read Growing Up, this is a list of important events.

-the story (Growing Up) focuses on the psychological impact of the neglect Naruto went through.
-Naruto and Sakura are not friends
-Naruto is full of hate, but is not a mass murderer, and does not seek revenge
-Naruto is not a ninja. This part makes more sense if you read Growing Up
-Sarutobi was a shithole of a man towards Naruto
-Naruto doesn't care for Jiraiya
-Naruto absolutely despises Konoha
-Naruto went to Orochimaru's in Sasuke's place
-Sasuke has received therapy and is sort of mentally healthy

But despite knowing all of that, this story still won't make a lick of sense if you don't read Growing Up.

Warnings: Prostitution, mentions of substance abuse, smut, and depressing themes.

Hope you enjoy!


The rays of sunlight cut into his eyelids the moment he opened his eyes, and Naruto dug his face into his pillow with a moan. That woman must have drawn the curtains, and the space next to him was cold and empty, so she must have been gone for a while now. Hesitantly, Naruto peered his eyes open in search of his clothes. They were lying on the floor in a wrinkled heap, stained with alcohol as he recalled the way she conspicuously flirted with him at the bar. He hadn't been looking for customers last night, but still used the henge so no one except his customers would recognize him, and it turned out she was there, too.

There was money sitting at the nightstand. It sat there as if it wanted no one to touch it, and Naruto grabbed a fistful of the cash and simply held it in his hands. He had been running low lately. And rent still needed to be paid, so it was a good thing that woman found him, and even better that she left before he woke.

He hated dealing with customers in the morning. They always wanted another round that they didn't want to pay for.

He pressed the money into his pillow and closed his eyes. If she were honest about the pay—and she always was—then it was a good fifty dollars, which would have been a five hour shift had he worked in what Tsunade liked to call a "real job." But the pay here was so much better. All it took was a couple minutes of pleasure—or displeasure, depending on the pay rate and what Naruto was in the mood for—and he got enough to last him longer than what the ninja life ever gave him.

Things were certainly better than before, even if he had to use henge every time he left his house. After two years of living here, he'd gotten the hang of it. The backpack of necessities still sat at the top of his closet in case he wanted to leave, but now that he had a new face and a new life, Naruto was perfectly fine with staying.

He still didn't have many friends, only Sasuke, but that was also fine, because any friendship would have been fake unless they knew his true face.

Naruto licked his chapped lips. Last night had been different than usual. She had more energy than the last couple of times, especially after Sasuke caught them on the way to the inn. He'd been absolutely livid, and had Naruto not screamed fire, Sasuke would have ratted him out by saying his name. But the woman, she'd gotten excited by Sasuke's anger, claiming it was jealousy and that she took pride in claiming what an Uchiha deemed his. He supposed that was why she left a barrage of bruises on his wrists. Maybe she even wanted Sasuke to see how she'd claimed Naruto.

Whatever. He thought as he flipped to the other side.

He wasn't ready to go home yet. Didn't have the energy to switch into his henge's personality and walk home. So he stayed at the inn for a couple more hours, not quite ready to travel through the village in order to get home. Especially since Sasuke caught him with her last night. The risk of running into him was too high. Though there wasn't much Sasuke could do except lecture him again. Naruto wanted to be with that woman, and yes, Sasuke might have caught them making out, and maybe he'd seen the way the woman groped him, or the way Naruto groped her, but it was Naruto's choice, and Sasuke had no power to change that.

He still couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that Sasuke had seen through the henge, though. Naruto rarely left his apartment except for the times when he needed customers, and Naruto ensured Sasuke never discovered his nightly activities. Sometimes they ran into each other in the street, but Sasuke only gave him a weird look and moved on. He never, not once, acknowledged that Naruto's henge was Naruto until last night.

And it wasn't just Sasuke. No one noticed. Not even the shinobi and kunoichi he slept with. Though that might have been because Naruto targeted the lower ranked ninja because anyone of higher rank would see through him.

And maybe that was why Sasuke knew it was him. Maybe he'd known all along and pretended Naruto's henged face didn't exist.

And now that Naruto knew that Sasuke didn't approve, he found himself more in tune with the fact that Sasuke was part of this village. He still judged Naruto, not nearly as much as everyone else. But it was still enough. But what he was doing wasn't wrong. People liked him when they got to touch him. Loved him even. They caressed his face, wrung their hands through his hair, and kissed him gently as they held him close. It reminded him of his nights with Sasuke, except there wasn't any real emotion behind it, and Sasuke absolutely refused to kiss him. But Naruto liked to pretend that they cared. Because if he didn't, then the only person that loved him was Sasuke.

And even that was debatable with how irritated Sasuke was with him all the time now.

He heaved a deep breath. In the end, he supposed it didn't matter. Sasuke was Sasuke. He'd tell Naruto that what he did was wrong and that he shouldn't do it again, and Naruto would pretend to listen as he nodded and agreed to everything.

Their relationship, while still strong in its own way, wasn't what it used to be. With each passing day Sasuke grew more and more agitated, and Naruto didn't know if he was the problem, or if it was Sasuke. It was probably him, though. Sasuke always had something to lecture him about, and all he could do was hope Sasuke continued visiting him. Because if Sasuke stopped, them who would Naruto rely on?

Sasuke had always been so supportive. He was always there, always watching, always knowing what Naruto wanted without him having to ask.

And it was suffocating.

But at the same time, it was relieving.

"Complicated bastard." He muttered.

It was about time to head home. Naruto didn't want to hold the henge longer than necessary, and it had already been over ten hours.


"There better be a reason why you knocked." Tsunade said.

Sasuke blinked owlishly. Her cheeks were flushed, face relaxed and body slouched. There was a bottle of ale cupped in her hands, and Sasuke fidgeted. Normally she took the ale out of his sight when he came in. But today it seemed that she was too drunk to remember.

He sighed, biting his lip slightly, a habit he'd copied from Naruto a long, long time ago. He wasn't sure if he should talk about this. Especially without Naruto's permission. It seemed an invasion of his privacy. But it affected Sasuke, too, and he didn't want to bottle things up the way he used to.

Especially after seeing what it had done to Naruto.

So he opened his mouth and let the words flow out. It wasn't easy. But he expected nothing else.

Naruto was never an easy topic.

"He just has so many issues." Sasuke said, "it's hard to handle sometimes."

Tsunade hummed softly, tracing her fingers over the desk. She closed her eyes before speaking. "Harder on him, I presume. Can you even imagine feeling all those things?"

Sasuke shook his head. He couldn't. Not entirely. Naruto felt things so strongly, and it was the opposite of what Sasuke did. For Sasuke, he could shut his emotions down and go numb. It was only a temporary solution, of course. But he hardly had any breakdowns and certainly didn't have a grudge against all of humanity.

"I understand some of it. Just... the self esteem and—and the way he talks sometimes. He acts like getting punished for nothing is normal."

And it happened all the time. Over nothing. Sasuke was certain that when he came to Naruto's apartment later he would be wondering what kind of punishment Sasuke had in store for him. Punishment for his... activity with that woman. For getting caught with her. Lately however, he seemed to understand that Sasuke only lectured. It sure took him long enough to realize that. But still, if Naruto thought lecturing was a form of punishment, it might be best if he stopped.

But then who would be there to keep him from self-destructing?

"It'll get worse before it gets better, Sasuke. You know this. You've been through it yourself."

Sasuke shook his head, recalling the days he drowned himself in the ale that Tsunade always kept on hand. If she hadn't caught him, hadn't forced him to give up all the alcohol he had, then Sasuke might have died by alcohol poisoning by now. And that was something he didn't want to go back to.

Naruto seemed to have different coping mechanisms. A wide range of them, too. From denial and anger and isolation. There were so many ways Naruto coped and none of it was healthy. Sasuke tried talking to him about it. But that only resulted with a dish getting thrown at the wall.

And that, in and of itself, was a horrible sign. Because Naruto was anything but violent.

And then there were the nights when Sasuke stayed over, only to wake to the sound of crying.

Naruto never did accept comfort.

He pursed his lips. "The Third was an awful man, wasn't he? Using him like that. Treating him as if he were less than human. He was a child."

"Indeed he was. Is there anything in particular you wanted to talk about, Sasuke."

Sasuke raked a hand through his hair, tears welling in his eyes. "It's hard to be with him sometimes." He said, "I mean, it's selfish and awful. He's always hurting, and I have to explain so much stuff to him. Basic stuff. Stuff he should already know. And it's just so much, Hokage-sama. He needs so much."

Tsunade shook her head, her eyes narrowing some. Not a spec of doubt infiltrated her voice with her next words. "Do you want to leave him?"

Sasuke shuddered, his blood running cold. Leave Naruto? Was that even possible? They'd known each other for so long, and it wasn't like Sasuke didn't understand what he was going through. But watching it was different than experiencing it. It was horrifying to hear all the things Naruto thought were normal when in fact, it wasn't normal at all. All those experiences, ones Naruto never told a soul about unless he truly felt safe enough… Those were the things Sasuke couldn't believe, couldn't understand. But was it enough to make him leave?

"No."

Naruto was his best friend. The man who Sasuke loved, and he made a promise to never leave.

"It's not your job to take care of him, Sasuke. Support him, yes. But caring for him? He knows that's not your job."

But who else would take Sasuke's place? Tsunade? Naruto didn't trust her at all, and no one wanted Naruto around. Sasuke could see that so clearly now. If he wasn't there, then Naruto would have no one and he would surely fall apart more than he already did.

"Someone's gotta do it. Did you know that he didn't know how often to do the laundry? Or even how much detergent to use?"

Tsunade cast her eyes down. "The Third most certainly made mistakes."

Mistakes? That wasn't true at all. A mistake was saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. But the Third had neglected a child and abused him and forced him to take an unwanted path. That wasn't a mistake. It was a plan.

"He neglected him for thirteen years."

Tsunade furrowed her brows. "He wouldn't have planned for—"

"Then why didn't he do anything?"

She opened and closed her mouth, shook her head. But in the end, there was no answer. "I don't know."

Sasuke scoffed and crossed his arms, the image of Naruto with that woman forever burned into him.

Another coping mechanism to add to the list. He thought.

"You know he's sleeping with people now, right? I caught him with a woman. Seems more like a coping mechanism than anything else."

Tsunade frowned. "That is...concerning. Is this woman his girlfriend or?"

"Just some random woman. Haven't seen her since."

"He could just be exploring."

"No."

Tsunade cocked her head. "Why not? He's 18, Sasuke. Far past the age where I'd have expected him to explore such things."

Sasuke ground his teeth together. Naruto couldn't do that. Couldn't find someone else. He had to henge in order to find anyone. How could he possibly be exploring when the people he slept with didn't even see his true face?

"It's a coping mechanism, alright? Nothing more."

She sighed. "Fine. Fine. It's a coping mechanism. Is there anything else?"

Sasuke shook his head. He wanted to ask for someone to come by and teach Naruto basic stuff. But he needed Naruto's permission first. The last thing they needed was another incident where Naruto got scared and angry and gave up on trying. All that had gotten them was two years worth of misery. Naruto had been getting worse— more confident, but also worse— and Sasuke could do nothing but watch as he fell apart.

"Not yet. I'll probably be back later, though."


Sasuke stepped into Naruto's apartment. It was more a jungle than anything else. Leaves and plants were sprawled across the countertops and floors. And stuffed animals were all organized neatly at the back wall. It was... an interesting place to visit. Clean and organized. But strange. He'd been so weirded out the first time Sasuke came here. Never did he expect to walk into a jungle filled with children's toys. But over time he'd gotten used to the sight. Naruto loved taking care of his plants, and the stuffed toy collection brought him great joy. And that little piece of happiness Naruto had was more than Sasuke had ever seen him with.

Naruto was watering his plants, a look of peer concentration written all over his face. He didn't seem to realize Sasuke had come in. But he wouldn't have given Sasuke a key if Naruto didn't want him here.

"That woman you were with..." Sasuke said.

Naruto jumped with a small gasp. He whipped his head to Sasuke with wide eyes and pale skin, almost as if he expected someone to hurt him. And the thought made his blood boil. Sasuke came here unannounced almost everyday, and Naruto still hadn't gotten used to Sasuke actually coming over.

And when Naruto realized it was him, he relaxed and went back to his plants. His shoulders were still tense, and he didn't seem happy to see Sasuke. Not like usual.

Probably because he thought he was getting a lecture.

But right now, Sasuke was testing the waters. Trying to ensure Naruto wouldn't freak if the subject of that woman was brought up. Naruto's face was flushed slightly, and he kept his gaze securely on the plant, and when the water started overflowing, he went to the back wall to rearrange his stuffed toys.

But they didn't need rearranging. Naruto had done that yesterday.

"Are you... together? And does she know what your real face looks like?

Naruto bit his lip, a horrible habit that had resulted in a blue, black, and swollen lip. There was never a time when his lips weren't injured to some extent, and Sasuke wished Naruto would stop mutilating himself like that, but no matter how many times he reminded Naruto, he never stopped.

Naruto refused to look him in the eyes as he spoke. "She wouldn't touch me if she knew who I was..."

Sasuke's fingers twitched, his eyes narrowing into a glare. "So you let her believe you're someone else? I hardly think that's fair. It's important for everyone to know what's happening when it comes to those kinds of acts."

Naruto scoffed. "She definitely knew what was happening." He said, "and I always tell them that's not my real face. No one cares. They just assume that I'm ugly and want to hide it."

They?

Just how long had this been going on for? And how many people had Naruto slept with?

His throat clogged up, his stomach curling in nausea. Sasuke couldn't believe this. Here Naruto was, in his apartment, admitting to doing all kinds of things with multiple people. It made him sick. Especially because Naruto made advances on Sasuke on an almost daily basis, and he always turned him down.

Maybe that's why he's going to others. He thought. He thinks I don't want him.

And the painful bite of envy captured his chest. It simmered beneath his heart, spreading to his fingertips and head. Sasuke's vision went red, the simple idea of that woman kissing Naruto and touching him and groping him sent him into a fit of rage. He clenched his fists, blood dripping down through his fingertips. He had watched as they stumbled through town in a drunken mess of wet kisses and gropes. That woman had her hands all over him, and she wasn't going to stop until Naruto's clothes were off and she had him within her grasp.

It wasn't fair. Sasuke never touched Naruto like that despite all his advances. Why did some stranger get to do what Sasuke didn't?

Why didn't they see that they were making him so much worse?

"Besides," Naruto said, "it's none of your business what I do. So leave it alone or go home."

But there was also progress, because Naruto would never have dared to speak to anyone that way two years ago.

He wondered who had been teaching him to stand up for himself like that.

"Fine. It's not any of my business." And a bitter taste got stuck on his tongue as he spoke. "But I'm not spending the night today."

Naruto froze, his eyes widening. Sasuke saw his throat bob as he swallowed, and the ping of guilt shrouded him. Naruto had become a bit reliant on Sasuke sleeping over. They didn't live together. Far from it. But Sasuke often came over and stayed the night. It helped Naruto grow more comfortable with physical touch, as they always shared the same bed, and Sasuke had the chance to counteract some of his wild beliefs about himself when the chance arose.

But tonight he was far too angry. Too jealous. He needed his space before Sasuke did something he'd regret.

Or worse, set Naruto off again.

That was the last thing he needed.

"Fine." Naruto said as he bit his lip again, "not like I want you here, anyways."