Speculo Gaudium
Ketti: Oh, look! I'm not dead! Or blind. But the double vision comes and goes. And... yeah. I just haven't been writing much, but JuJu has, and it's been inspiring me. Especially her newest story, haha. After all, Seras needs something to take revenge for!
1- Fledgling Furniture
Knock, knock, knock.
The intimidating iron and wood door swung open of its own accord, revealing a pale blonde woman in a rather revealing gold uniform standing in the threshold, blue eyes searching the dimly lit cavernous room that held a throne like chair and the red clad figure reclining regally upon it.
"You wanted to see me, Master?" Her soft soprano carried easily through the basement room and to the elder vampire's ears. His lips twitched and he crooked a gloved finger at her without speaking. Lips pursing a little in trepidation, she inched forward a step, only to feel a phantom push and eep in surprise as the door slammed shut behind her. Well, her path of escape was blocked, and she had yet to learn her Master's trick of walking through walls, so she had little choice but to face the music – though what she could have done she had no idea! – and so she loped down the steps with an unearthly grace, completely unaware of how something as simple as walking had changed for her after her rebirth into undeath. She hesitated a moment as she drew closer to her Master's throne, but he despised cowardice above all else, and if she had done something, balking would only make it worse. So she forced her chin up a notch, despite the urge to tuck it down into the turtleneck of her jacket, and stood within easy arm's reach for the tall, almost gangly, man she called her Sire.
His red eyes peeked out from behind the amber lenses of his glasses as he tipped his head to observe her with a Cheshire grin spreading across his face. "Such a brave little fledgling," he cooed mockingly, grabbing her by the waist and yanking her into his lap. She shrieked and went stiff as a board, her own gloved hands wrapping around his in an attempt to pry it loose. "My Master informs me," he continued as if nothing were happening, "that she finds your education lax. I've been instructed," his fingers tightened around her hip, digging into the bone, "to give you a proper lesson, Sire to fledgling."
Seras' face pinched in discomfort as she strained against his iron hold, "I-is that so?"
"Yes," he agreed, pointed teeth gleaming in the flickering light of the wall sconces, "And I, the ever obedient servant, have decided to play along." She winced, hissing through her teeth as she felt her bones beginning to grate in protest and she went still. "Do you know the most important lesson a vampire must learn, fledgling?"
His words came as a purr, silky, sibilant, like rich dark chocolate poured over her ear. She thought for a moment, but all the answers that came to mind sounded absurd. Hesitantly, she offered; "Don't get caught?"
He threw back his head and laughed, the sound roaring against her eardrums like gunfire. His teeth seemed sharper, longer, as he returned those crimson eyes to her, amusement and malice lighting the flickering depths. "That's a good guess," he praised, "but it's wrong. The most important lesson a vampire can learn… is patience."
He shoved her abruptly, and she twisted without thought, landing on all fours to break her fall, yet before she could get up, a pair of heavy booted feet landed across her spine. She jerked and braced herself against the stones as she turned her head to give the male an incredulous stare.
"As a vampire, your muscles will never tire, and your joints will not weary of holding the same position for hours. After all, we sleep quite literally like the dead, fledgling." Alucard lectured in a gleeful tone, making himself obscenely comfortable upon his throne with his own personal footrest. "You must learn that time has little meaning to Midians, fledgling, for we are frozen, stuck in one spot while the world around us turns. Days, weeks, years, they might as well be the blink of an eye to us. Patience is key, Seras."
The use of her name startled her into giving her full attention to the madman whose blood ran through her veins. After a short pause, she bowed her head, "I understand, Master."
"Good," he proclaimed and tapped his heels against her spine, "I hope you're as comfortable as I am, Police Girl, you're going to hold this position until sunrise." She could hear the smirk in his voice and she ground her teeth in irritation. Trust him to be all serious and lecturing, only to spoil it with his twisted sense of humor. She'd be sure to thank Sir Integra for tonight's lesson indeed.
Her nose itched.
She closed her eyes and stopped breathing, trying to force the irritating sensation away. She really wished she knew how to grow her hair, or keep it from growing back, because she'd been meaning to go in for a trim to get that one strand that always tickled her face irritatingly, until the Cheddar incident happened, and wouldn't you know it, but she was stuck with it for eternity.
Her nose itched.
She tried counting sheep, but all that threatened to do was put her to sleep, so she stopped at three hundred and twenty nine.
Her nose itched.
Finally she gave in and puffed air at the strand, only for it to smack her in the eye. Yelping in dismay, she reached up and grabbed the strand between her gloved fingers with the intent to rip it out, only to feel a heavy smack across the back of her head. A little dazed, she looked up at Alucard with a betrayed expression, only to find him brandishing a rolled up newspaper and a maniacal grin. "Tsk, tsk, fledgling," he scolded with glee, "the purpose of this lesson is to not move." He twirled the index finger of his other hand in a 'turn around' motion, and after a moment of her staring at him dumbly, the paper smacked her full on the center of her face. It didn't startle her as badly this time, but it still stung like hell, so she turned back with a muffled growl rumbling in her throat as she tried to resume her previous position.
Her nose itched.
Seconds passed like minutes.
Minutes passed like hours.
Hours passed like days.
Through it all her Master was as quiet as a mouse, and she amused herself with the thought that he was daydreaming – or was it nightdreaming, since they were vampires? – while she knew it couldn't be half as long as it felt, he had said it would only be until the sun rose, she was bored out of her mind. For a girl raised in the modern era, it was hard not to fidget with impatience. She was a social creature by nature, craving conversation to pass the time. One too many whacks to the head with the paper had taught her not to even shift her weight a little for something to do.
Her nose still itched on occasion when her thoughts wandered in circles, but she forced herself to ignore it until it went away, usually in the form of a piece of hair tickling her neck or cheek.
So she was surprised when the motony broke; there was a cursory knock of warning before the heavy door opened on squeaky hinges – she was a little amused that Alucard had figured out a way to open it without such an annoying noise, yet left poor Walter to suffer through it – to reveal Hellsing's retired Angel of Death. Fortunately, she'd left her head up just enough to see him out of the corner of her eye, and she couldn't help the relieved smile pulling the corners of her lips up. Walter returned the brief smile as he gazed at her with his own moment of relief at seeing her, "There you are, Miss Victoria. I see your Master is… teaching." Walter was the master of droll humor, and Alucard laughed, shifting his feet across her spine. 'Able to hold the same position for hours my butt.' Seras grumbled internally, grunting a bit as the heels dug into her skin through her uniform jacket.
'If you insist.' Her Master purred maliciously in response to her thoughts, propping one foot on his fledgling's upraised posterior.
Walter kept his face neutral as he deposited a fresh ice bucket containing a bottle of what Seras was half sure contained wine, but she'd never investigated it closely enough to find out.
"Is the lesson going well, then?" Walter inquired with a hint of amusement coloring his polite tone. Seras stuck her tongue out at him before shaking her head, only to yip as the foot on her bum lifted and struck back home with a bone jarring force. "Now, now, Walter, you're distracting her." Alucard reprimanded with twisted glee. "The Police Girl is practicing her patience. It's not going very well, is it, my inept little fledgling?"
She stopped herself from responding at the last second, realizing the trap he'd laid for her with a pinched expression of irritation on her pale face. He chuckled and rocked her from side to side with the booted heel propped on her tailbone. "That's better."
The butler coughed delicately as he observed the pair of vampires, "Alucard, do you really think you're the one to teach her about patience, considering your track record?" Seras could only guess at the number of incidents the butler was referring to, privately thinking it must be in the low hundreds if not more.
Her Sire barked a laugh and tipped the poor girl over as his entire body rocked with his mirth, a flutter of hope unfurled that perhaps that meant this lesson was over. "I never claimed to be a good example, now did I?" Alucard cackled as his shadows pushed the girl back into position, ignoring her muffled moan of protest, "I'm the King, I don't have to obey the rules."
Seras felt like beating her head against the stone floor in frustration as Walter shared a knowing look with the trapped blonde before retreating back to his duties around the upper levels. Leaving her alone with her Master, and the silence that threatened to swallow her like an angry ocean.
Her nose itched.
