Lucy stepped up to the mirror, tugging nervously at the new dress and giving it a test twirl. The black fabric flowed nicely. Nice enough for impressing Natsu, at least. Today was the anniversary of the first time they kissed. Or met. Or the half year celebration of when they hooked up. Whatever. All that matters is that it was some milestone that a girl makes a big deal of. They were going to have an awesome date and she was going to show him how much she loved him.
She hummed to herself the whole way to the guild, and not once dared walk along the edge of the water like she usually did. Her dress was cute, but the tailor had warned that the black dye would come right out in water, and a see through dress wasn't going to impress Natsu in the way she wanted. (Distractingly placed authors note: Lol. Or would it?)
Because she was pretty Lucy decided Natsu didn't need to see her in barely there clothing to hold his gaze, and she walked through the guild doors feeling sexy and confident. It's amazing how sharp a blow your confidence can take when you walk into a building to see your boyfriend making out with another girl.
Did he see her? Lucy swallowed nervously and crept to the bar, wondering what to do. Call him out? Maybe it was a misunderstanding. Natsu loved her, so of course he wouldn't be sucking on Lisanna's face when he thought she wasn't looking.
"Mira, what's going on?" Lucy whispered.
"Go away," Mira replied.
Lucy's jaw dropped. Not only was that a horribly inappropriate response to the question from anyone in just about any context, but it was the last thing she'd have expected from a sweet and friendly person like Mira.
"A-are you feeling alright? Am I in Edolas again?" Lucy asked. "No… no that can't be. The Mira from Edolas was nice too."
Because Natsu was a dragon slayer and had really good ears he heard Lucy thinking aloud and stopped slobbering all over Lisanna to look up at her. (Distractingly placed authors note: He didn't hear earlier because he was too busy kissing Lisanna.) "Oh, she came," he said.
"Uh, Natsu?" Lucy asked, "What's going on? Why were you kissing Lisanna? Today's our anniversary."
"Oh. It is? Shit. I thought it was tomorrow and I was going to dump you before I had to pretend to be interested," Natsu told her. "Oh well. I'm dumping you. I've been seeing Lisanna on the side since she came back and I only agreed to date you because I thought you might stop being so whiny if you finally got a boyfriend. I've actually hated you since we met."
Too shocked to cry, Lucy could only ask, "Then why did you bring me to the guild?"
"Shut up!" Natsu roared, becoming unusually belligerent. He ran across the guild and punched Lucy and because she seemed to have stepped into some bizarre world where everyone in the guild had forgotten that they were nice, friendly people, no one batted an eye.
Now it was an effectively dramatic moment for Lucy to cry, and she started gushing tears. "But… but you… Gray?"
"Fuck off," Gray told her.
"Erza?"
"We don't want you here anymore," Erza elaborated.
At a loss, Lucy looked back to Mira. "We were only keeping you around as a replacement for my sister, but she came back so we don't need you anymore."
"She came back a long time ago!" Lucy cried.
"Yeah, but we're getting rid of you now," Someone said. It didn't matter who because they were all acting the same and trying to drive Lucy away.
Realizing they weren't worth it, Lucy got up and ran from the guild. Tears blurred her vision, and she didn't see until it was too late that she was running right towards the river that ran through town. She tried to stop, but tripped on the edge of the sidewalk and fell into the water.
"This is the worst day of my life," she moaned.
"Do you need help?" A familiar voice asked.
Lucy looked up and saw that guy I like more than Natsu. Oh no! She could see the black bleeding out into the water and any second now she may as well look naked to him!
"D-don't look!" she shrieked.
That guy I like cocked his head, not getting it until he saw patches of skin become visible through her dress. Blushing, he looked away and took his coat/cape/vest off. "H-here," he muttered. "This should cover you. At least somewhat."
He dropped into the water for Lucy to hastily pull on. It didn't cover her all the way, but it beat nothing. At least she had panties still.
"Thanks. It's safe to look now."
That guy I like looked back at her. "So… you uh… you were crying."
Lucy nodded, eyes watering up again as she remembered what had just happened a few minutes earlier. "I thought Natsu loved me but today it turned out he was cheating on me with Lisanna and no one in the guild wants me anymore."
"That bastard," said the guy I like. "I want to beat him up now."
"No. Even though I hate him I still care about him for the sake of drama."
"Then I won't, because you're beautiful and I think I love you. You're single now, right?"
Insensitive, but Lucy blushed at being told she was loved and ignored that second question. "You look great and you showed me some common courtesy, so I love you too."
That guy I like beamed and said, "That's wonderful. I was about to go train, maybe you can come with me."
Lucy thought about it. If she became stronger, then in a few years she could come back and show the guild what they'd missed out on by tossing her aside! Plus, that guy I like is hot, and she loved him, so it would be wonderful. "Okay."
That guy I like pulled Lucy out of the water. "Let's get on the train to go to my training grounds in the mountains." (Distractingly placed authors note: maybe he doesn't like trains, but if he doesn't then just pretend it's not an issue.)
Lucy nodded. "Let me grab something to do first. I just bought this great book called Twilight. Since we're in love now, we can read about true love together on the train."
"I can't wait."
A/N because I forgot to throw some into the middle of the chapter: OMG guys, what do you think? Natsu was a jerk, huh? It's okay because the next time we see him he'll realize what a knockout Lucy is and be totes jealous of this guy I like more. Review please!
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(Alt title: Something done to death and not so good)
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STA: Dudes! The site lets you list more than two characters now! Aw man… I could added so many more guys to this, but I mostly see this stupid FT cliché while I'm browsing the Rogue and Sting (and sometimes Jellal) stories so…
I would have taken longer with this, but I have this theory going that people who like reading all those fics where Natsu cheats with Lis don't have the patience for that. (Because seriously, I can click on them and read Lucy getting the bombshell dropped on her, quitting, meeting the new guy, and them realizing they're soul mates without even scrolling down. Or seeing a paragraph that's a whole line long.)
How was it? Good? Bad? At some point I transitioned Lucy from noticing things were wrong to being part of the pukefest, but… necessity of the plot. I almost wrote it with My Immortal level shit just because I saw a story like this the other day where the author didn't even bother to capitalize names, but writing below the standards of early elementary school is actually a report worthy offense on this site. So are sex scenes, btw. A lot of people don't seem to read the guidelines. Anyway, this is all there is to it. Sorry. Just one chapter. Writing a whole story of a gag-worthy plot like this would kill me, and to be honest I usually stop reading any story like this before the point I wrote too so I wouldn't know what else to mock. Pretend I'm parodying the number of fics that people write a few chapters of and forget about.
