Summary: Takao and Hitoshi have a rather stupid, pointless discussion
one night. And it's not even a discussion. They just say a bunch of
nonsense stupidness. vv I think if I worked on it more, it might
become like a drama angst sort of thing. Alas, I don't care enough.
General-ness. Boring-ness. Me attempting to get over
writers-block-ness. --U One-shot.
Takao's POV -
I don't think I ever did know what to think of him. Hitoshi, I mean.
I hardly ever saw him after he left--and when he came back, it was as
though I didn't matter to him. Which is just fine. I'm practically
an adult. I don't NEED him. And he off and left once more.
...But still. I miss him. I try to avoid thinking about him. And
I miss him.
He's sleeping right now, I think.
Late last night he arrived. They thought I was sleeping. From what I
could tell, he just needed a place to stay for the night--didn't want
to get a room. Tousan and Jichan must have been expecting him.
Why didn't they tell me? I missed him.
He told them he would be gone before they woke up. Thanked them.
Went to bed. He's in a futon not two arm-lengths from me right now.
And I miss him.
The three adults murmured at my door for a minute or so. Then Jichan
and Tousan left, and Niichan closed the door and set up a futon and
went to bed. I kept my back to him, eyes pressed shut. I was afraid
of what would happen if he knew I was awake.
I miss him. So much.
And he's sleeping now. I want to roll over and look at him. But what
if he's awake?
...What then?
"I miss you."
I make my decision and roll over. Quietly, with my eyes still shut.
I listen. His breathing is even. I open my eyes.
"Hitoshi?"
He's sleeping right now, I think.
His back is to me. It's so quiet...
I sit up, and then, feeling braver, get fully to my feet and step over
to him. Kneeling down, I lay a hand on his shoulder. He sleeps.
I hesitate only momentarily before digging my fingers into his
shoulder firmly and shaking.
He hadn't been sleeping. No way. He woke up too quickly. Pushed me
away too easily. He had to have been prepared.
But his breathing is still even. His movements are silent as he turns
his head to regard me.
I can't move. When pushing me away after I woke him, he hadn't
removed my fingers completely from his shoulder. I think I should
pull them back, slowly. But I can't move.
"Takao."
A cloud drifts over the moon and bathes my room in shadow. I can't
see his face.
"I miss you."
He's sleeping right now, I think. His breathing is even. He is
silent--the very epitome of the darkness which he so blends in with.
Where was my ninja brother now?
I uncurl my fingers and pull my hand away. He sits up.
I thought he was sleeping.
Clouds drift by once more and his features are lit up by moonlight.
He looks more like Jin than Hitoshi right now. And where is my
brother? I miss him.
I study him closely; or, as close as I can.
He gazes through me unblinkingly. Is this Niichan? I have missed
him. He's changed.
"Go to bed."
His voice seems silent as well. It feels oppressive. The room. His
breathing is even. Everything is quiet.
I should talk to him.
I should. Ask where my brother is. He might know. I could go find him.
I say nothing, however.
And eventually, I stand up and move back to my bed.
As I lay down, I turn towards the wall again.
I don't think I ever did know what to think of him.
He's hardly been a part of my life.
But I miss him.
I want to talk to him. Find out why he is here, where he is going. I
want to know why he is always so silent.
Even now, I listen.
His breathing is even.
He's sleeping right now, I think.
