Haven's courtroom.

"We are here on account of a Mister Mulch Diggums." The white haired Elf judge said in a voice that seemed to say "I'd do anything to be away from here." "The crimes he has committed are." The judge looks at a flat screen computer on his podium, and his eyes widen. "Well, lets just say Mister Mulch has been busy. Now who will be defending this dwarf?"
"I will," Said Arysia the small high voiced gnome.
"Begin." Came the same droning voice.
"In the fiascos Mulch has risked his life on several occasions to save the People." The gnome shuffled through her notes. Mulch Diggums, cuffed to his hoverboy chair, passed Arysia a note. She read it allowed, "Check the day Mulch was released."
"Well that's absurd!" The judge said with a hint of excitement in his voice, as he frantically typed on his flat screen, to prove the gnome wrong. "Look right here," The judge said as she pressed a button and had his computer screen projected onto the wall. "It says that Mulch has never been." The judge read the projected computer screen. It read, Diggums, Mulch. Released May 12. The judge looked at the date on his watch. It was May 19.

Fowl Manor.

"Artemis?" Butler said as he appeared in a doorway. "What are you doing up? It's two in the morning."
"Ahh, Butler." Artemis said as his eyes were glued to the computer screen. Pictures of gold and lead flashed across the screen. "Alchemy. The art of turning lead into lead."
"Still onto gold are we?" Butler said with a smile. "We have millions of gold in the Fowl account from the oil mines you found in Franc when you were twelve."
"Its not about the money," Artemis lied. "It's doing the impossible. It says here that magical warlocks used to be able to do the art of Alchemy." Artemis let out a soft chuckle. "Imagine that. Magical warlocks. What's next? Are there going to be magical fairies that live under ground?"

* * * Under Ground Faire fortress.

The council was having a meeting in the Peoples capital of Haven. They were still uptight about loosing all that gold three years ago. They had been working the miner-dwarfs harder than ever.
"Gold," Stated Grumpo the only gnome member on the council. "What we need is more gold." Grumpo said as he sat down on his specially made hoverboy chair (Any other chair was too small).
"Thanks for stating the obvious." Arcoid, a male elf said as he rolled his eyes. "We need to somehow get more gold. The mines are drying up, and stealing from humans was banned."
"If only there were some Alchemy warlocks left." Thallect sighed.
"Yes, alchemy would solve our problem. IF ONLY ALCHEMY WERE STILL POSSIBLE!" Arcoid said, angry with Thallect for once again bringing up alchemy. The metal door on the far end of the room burst open and Holly Short, Julius Root, and Foaly came running in panting for breath.
"Council," Holly breathed.
"Yes?" Arcoid said as he rubbed his head, looking down at the floor.
"Artemis Fowl has figured out the secret to Alchemy!" Foaly blurted out. Arcoid's migraine went away immediately.

Fowl Manor.

Artemis sat propped over a metal table. A device invented by Artemis himself was lying atop the table. It was his Alchemy test number 107. In front of him was what looked like an old glass scale with two sides. A bundle of wires were connected to each one of the glass saucers, making occasional clicking noises. On one side of the scale was a square chunk of lead, and on the other was a square chunk of gold the same exact weight to the lead.
"Here it goes." Artemis said not able to control the excitement in his voice. He and Butler were on the far side of the room incase this test subject exploded as test numbers 11, 35, 82, and 101 did. Butler and Artemis placed a pair of mirror sunglasses on his eyes, he found in his study, incase the light from the glass scale was powerful. As he put on the glasses, he remembered the contact lenses he found in his eyes a few months ago.
"Ready?" Butler asked. Artemis nodded as he flicked a switch on the wall. Wires connected to various outlets in the walls, began to vibrate and hum softly as their power surged into the glass scale. As the power reached the glass scale, the lights and computers began to flicker, and then everything electrical, except for Artemis's new device, went out. The crystal glass began to glow, and soon let out a light powerful enough to blind, any persons in the room without mirrored glasses. Artemis bit his bottom lip as he saw the lead cube slowly turn into glimmering gold starting at the corner.
With a humming noise, all the wires stopped sending power to the glass scale, and the electricity in the house turned back on, allowing Mrs. Fowl to finish making her mango smoothie. Butler walked over to the scale and picked up the small gold cube that was once lead.
"I think you have successfully turned lead into gold." Butler said as he flung the gold coin into the air and caught it in his hand.
"I think I just switched them." Artemis said with a frown on his face, as he picked up the original gold cube that was now just useless lead.
"Looks like you're going to have another long night I presume." Butler said as he quickly rebooted Artemis's computer.
"Unfornutally." Artemis said as he sat down on his swivel chair and began to type in the results of Test number 107. "Bring me a mug of coffee will you?" Artemis asked his manservant.
"Of course."

Shuttle Port.

"Please explain to me again, what I am doing?" Holly asked as she strapped herself into a shuttle. Luckily, it was fairly new.
"You are to see that mudman Artemis. Once you see him quickly mesmerize him, gather any information on Alchemy he might have, then give him a short term mind wipe." Commander Root said.
"And explain to me again, why am I doing this?"
"The council wants their gold, and that's that."
"Whatever," Holly said as she closed the roof to the shuttle and quickly shot out of the Port going 200 miles over the speed limit. She flew down a rock tunnel, screens in front of her beeping, warning her of a magma flare coming up and minute. She threw on the throttle, determined to get to the surface as fast as possible. As the engine boosters met the melting magma, two things happened. First, the shuttle was thrown forward faster than a fairy bullet, and second the shuttle leaned back as if there were extra weight in the back of the craft. Foaly must have put in extra fuel, Holly though, making up an excuse for the weight behind the craft.

* * *

A large sprite with mussels the size of trolls, threw Mulch into the bustling street of Haven, having him land on his behind. "I don't know how you got out of here," The sprite said, "But I do know that if you ever come back in here I'll make sure that you don't get out."
"Comforting," Mulch mumbled to himself as he hauled a hover cab. A neon yellow hover taxi pulled over on the side of the street, and Mulch sat in the front seat. "I need to get to the shuttle port, A.S.A.P." Mulch said to the taxi driver who was half gobbling half gnome.
"You got it," The driver said in an unfamiliar accent, Mulch figured it to be a cross between stupidity and Polish. The taxi flew onto the sidewalk, and shot forward.
"Shouldn't you stay on the road?" Mulch asked nervously as the taxi driver almost hit a faire for the umpteenth time.
"Naw. There's traffic there. I'd be faster if we go on the side walk."
"Right," Mulch said as he buckled his seatbelt.
A few minutes later, the taxi reached the locked entrance to the shuttle port, in record time.
"Here we are," The driver said.
"Thanks," Mulch said as he passed the driver a gold coin he filched from the sprite that released him from jail. The coin was only worth 1/99 of the payment owed for the taxi ride, but the driver saw money suspecting it was the payment and drove off. Mulch stared at the 1000-watt fence. There were no way through. Diggums unhinged his jaw and firmly planted it into the soil. It was filled with toxic waste, but it would have to do. He quickly unbuttoned his back flap and dug into the ground quickly getting the poisons dirt out of his system. Seconds later he emerged from the ground next to a metallic shuttle. He was about to search for another shuttle that didn't already have an elf in it when he noticed just who the elf was.
"Please explain to me again, what I am doing?" Captain Holly Short of the LEP recon asked.
"You are to see that mudman Artemis. Once you see him quickly mesmerize him, gather any information on Alchemy he might have, then give him a short term mind wipe." Commander Root said. They were going to Artemis Fowl, the place Mulch needed to be. Mulch through the gold coin around his neck that was secretly concealing a small disk. Mulch slipped into the back of the shuttle, hidden in a jumble of wires.

* * *

The ride went well, except that the shuttle kept on leaning back. Holly decided to file a complaint. She landed her shuttle perfectly between a tourist shuttle, and a junky old shuttle that looked as if it were being held up by duck tape. She stepped out and turned on her helmet filters. She locked her shuttle and walked up to Tara.
"Oh no," Mulch said to himself as he banged against the nuke-proof windows.

Holly walked through a holographic cow, into a field with a scent of cow manure, and wheat. She quickly shielded, and started up her wings. After many weeks of begging Foaly, he finally made a new pair of wings that would outshine that pixie any day. This is true because that pixie that tried to destroy all of Haven was now rotting away in a dark cell with no light, only darkness. She voice activated the small oval shaped backpack on strapped onto her shoulders that were the size of a football. Two thing metal wings shot out of either side, like dragon wings, that fluttered so fast it was impossible to see. She flew up to an altitude of 1,000 feet, into the white fluffy clouds.
"Foaly," Holly said as she began to fly forward towards Ireland.
"Yes," Foaly's voice said in her ear.
"Is there any air currents to bring me closer to Ireland?"
"Um." Foaly the centaur said as he clicked his fingers on a keyboard. "Yeah. Here I'll program it into autopilot for you."
"Thanks," Holly said as her wings whipped herself down and to the left. She was sucked in by a cylinder air current that shot her forward towards the man who kidnapped her when he was only 11.
"So," Foaly said trying to start a conversation. "What do you think of this? Seeing Artemis again and all."
"I hate it," Holly admitted. "Even though I did learn to like him in the end, he was a threat to the People, and I was hoping he'd be over with and gone with the mind wipe."
"I see," Foaly said through a mouthful of carrots. "So do you remember what you're doing?"
"Yup," Holly said as she saw the mountains of Ireland come into view. "I go in, quickly put him in the mesmer, get all the info I can on Alchemy, then do a short memory mind wipe."
"Good."
"But um, Foaly?"
"Yeah,"
"If he sees me won't all those old memories his mind filled in disappear and the old ones come back?"
"Yes, but when I mind wiped him last year I recorded what I took out, and placed that memory in your mind wiper."
"Here we are! "Holly said as she hovered over Fowl manor.
"Yippee," Foaly snorted sarcastically. Holly hovered 5 feet above the ground, shielded at the doorstep. She sighed, and then pressed the doorbell button. The doorbell button itself, was considerably big, and felt squishy like a gel fingerprint scanner. Alarms suddenly went off in the house and a camera appeared atop the door. Holly unshielded for a second.
"Remember me mudboy?" Holly said, unshielded at the doorstep, as she waved at the camera.

* * *

Artemis was sitting in his study, his face glued to the computer screen, when the alarms went off.
"Unknown visitor!" The alarm said in a computer like voice. Artemis quickly wheeled his chair to the other side of the room where a large computer screen was. It showed a fingerprint that was as non-other Artemis had ever seen before. Its ridges seemed to go in swirls and in other odd designs. Artemis quickly typed "Video feed," in the computer. The screen flashed twice before showing the front steps. Artemis scanned where the video camera was pointing at but saw nothing except a small haze in the air.
Then a figure appeared out of thin air. It was short with long pointy ears, chestnut brown skin, and auburn hair. "Remember me mudboy?" The short figure said. Mudboy. That was the word that brought everything back to Artemis. It hit him like a grenade; pieces of memory shooting back into his brain. He kidnapped that little person - Faire - three years ago. Her name was captain Holly Short of the LEP recon. There was the centaur, and kleptomaniac dwarf with the blue skin, and the magic - The acorn - The book. Artemis remembered everything, up to every letter in gnomish.
"H-Holly?" Artemis stuttered, as he remembered she had mind wiped him. That's what the contact lenses were for! He had been trying to figure that out for months.
"Yeah it's me, so let me in."
"Butler," Artemis said over the manor's loudspeaker. "There's a guest at the door, please bring it - Please bring her in."
"Yes Artemis," Butler said as he walked to the large manor door. Butler pushed open the door, and looked straight ahead. Nobody there.
"Hello," The Eurasian man said as he stared into air.
"Down here!" Came a voice that kicked him in his shin, sending 100 watts of electricity through his legs.
"Oww!" Butler said as he grabbed his leg. He looked down to see a short figure with long pointy ears, and a round silver oval on her back. "What the. Are you some kind of circus thingy?" Butler said not even making full sentences. Artemis would severely punish him for that. No Gatorades for a week.
"Let me in Butler or I'll shoot you with my Neutrino 2001." Holly said. "You look nice by the way. Much younger." Butler almost fainted. When he heard Neutrino 2001 mentioned, everything came back to him.
"Take me to Artemis, please." Holly said a little fed up. Butler just stared at her as his memories flooded back into his brain. "Take me to Artemis now." Holly said using the mesmer.
"Right this way," Butler said as he led Holly to Artemis's study.
"Thank you," Holly said as she flew down the hallway. She reached Artemis's study, and placed herself in an antique chair with red and gold cushions.
"Why Holly what a delight."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Holly said as Butler sat in a chair next to Artemis, still a little dazed from the mesmer.
"Now you somehow figured out how to do Alchemy, and the council wants gold. You can figure out the rest. Alright ready?"
"Nope." Artemis said trying to buy time so he could reach for his mirrored sunglasses. Too late.
"Too bad. Tell me everything you know about Alchemy." Holly said using the mesmer on Artemis.
"Well it all started a few weeks ago." Artemis started as Holly flicked a recorder on, on her helmet before going to play solitaire on Artemis's computer.

Four hours later.

Holly had won 88 consecutive solitaire matches when Artemis was all done explaining.
"Is that all?" Holly yawned.
"Yes." Artemis said.
"Okay, sorry I have to do this." Holly said as she held out a small metal orb. She placed it on a desk between Artemis and Butler. "Just watch the orb." Holly ordered Butler and Artemis to do, under the influence of the mesmer. The small metal orb exploded in silver light, causing all Artemis's faire related memories to fade away.
Artemis and Butler fell asleep onto the ground, a common effect after being hit with a mind wipe.
"Goodnight mudmen," Holly said as she shielded and flew out the window.