Dib was not in love.
Love was forgetting his purpose. It was failure, stupidity, ignorance. It was naivety, blindness. It was losing. Giving up. Giving in. Love was the end. Love was game over.
And when the game was defending the earth from homicidal alien invaders, Dib couldn't afford that.
So what if he sometimes watched him sleep or blushed a little when he looked at him? So what if he couldn't go a day without talking to him? So what if he wanted to hold his hand sometimes? So what if he liked saying his name?
Zim sat curled up in his lap, Dib's arms wrapped around the tiny body protectively. Zim was asleep, purring softly, the rise and fall of his chest and the resting position of his antennae both very calming to the boy. He was… staring. Just… staring. Thinking. He couldn't take his eyes off the alien. Not that he ever could, but there was something different about this. It felt… it felt good.
Dib wondered if his meaningless thoughts all drifted away to the same place, somewhere far away. He wondered if maybe they all found each other millions of miles from his room and collided to form coherent ideas, like jigsaw pieces. Maybe somewhere out there, there was a version of Dib that actually made sense. A Dib that actually understood life and people and feelings. One that would admit to things that were true and worry less about things that didn't matter. One that did stuff right. Dib version 2.0.
Maybe when the puzzle was finished, he would be that Dib. That was what he needed.
But no, that was impossible. At least right here, right now, he was merely Dib 1.0, a confused, neglected, hormonal, teenaged aspiring paranormal investigator with an alien in his lap. He was like a walking paradox.
Er, a sitting paradox.
There went another thought, floating off to join in the jumbled heap that was Dib's Meaningless Thoughts. To add to the neat and tidy parallel dimension- the puzzle- of Dib 2.0.
The warm, white glow on the human's dark walls rose and fell with the passing of cars outside. A chorus of crickets chirped harmoniously. A very distant siren wailed quietly. Stars burned light years away. Other civilizations. More cars. More sirens. And here, the whole universe coalesced on a torn-up old Futon mattress.
He sighed softly. Zim's eyelids fluttered to accompany a spontaneous yawn. Memory hazy, his gaze flicked to Dib's. Dib returned the stare, wondering what facial expression would best suit the moment. Before he could decide, Zim spoke.
"I will never surrender to you, Dib."
"I know, Zim."
A silent moment passed between the two.
"I'm an invader."
"Mhm."
More silence.
"Dib?"
"Yes, Zim."
"What is… love?"
Dib felt a lump in his throat as his cheeks heated up. This was not his field of expertise. He locked his gaze on the window, avoiding Zim's curious, wide eyes. "It… it's when you… care about someone. A lot."
The boy blinked twice, having taken himself by surprise at his own ability to provide even this crappiest of definitions. So Dib 1.0 did know a thing or two. Somehow, he knew about love.
"Ridiculous human emotions," Zim muttered, nuzzling into his enemy's chest and closing his eyes again as the boy pulled him closer, smiling just the tiniest smile, stare unmoved. They sat there that way for what seemed like hours.
Finally, Zim spoke up very quietly, eyes locked on the ground, shoulders arched shyly. "Maybe we could do this truce thing more often."
Dib couldn't help but chuckle warmly and cup his large hand under Zim's small chin, bringing their lips together.
Another piece slid into place, somewhere far away.
