How do you tell a friend, your best friend that something really did happen between you? How do you tell that same friend that that second bottle of wine turned her into a wild woman? How do you break the news that because of that wine she'd felt free to share her inner most secrets, her thoughts…? Then there were those three words that she'd uttered before falling into a deep blissful sleep. More importantly, how do you remain silent to preserve that thing you hold so dear; that thing, that friendship that keep you silent, suffering, heartbroken each time you see her with another man? But she was happy, giddy even and he didn't have to understand it; didn't have to like it because she was happy…

But she wasn't happy and she didn't love him, she loved you at least that's what the wine told her to say as you held her, kissed her, made love to her. He had a chance to tell her the truth; the possibility of their actions had haunted her all day but the panic and fear he saw in her eyes when he finally forced her to hold still and talk to him, made him swallow his desire and his pride opting instead for the high road, that road he should have taken the night before but he wanted her; more than that he loved her and for a brief moment, he slipped and fell into the impossible possibility that maybe they really could have it all together.

Then the sun broke through the window and the light, like it always does, revealed the truth. It shown brightly on what the consequences of their actions would do to each of their lives and he panicked, she panicked and they both wanted to pretend that nothing had happened but popcorn and a movie. He knew better even if she didn't…the wine, that damn wine had taken the memory of their night together away from her and left him the only one who possessed the truth and he knew it would haunt him and torture him for the rest of his life. That would be his punishment, and he deserved to be punished for crossing that sacred line jeopardizing what they had that pure true friendship that defied explanation and they'd long ago stopped trying to explain it. What would he do now? What could he do, really? He remembered how her hands felt as they roamed every inch of his body how it felt to kiss her and touch her to enter her and rest his heart next to hers…then the sun like it always does brought him slamming back to reality shining that damn light on his secrets, and his actions that were now threatening to drive him mad.

She remembered. Every delicious, spine-tingling moment…she remembered. No amount of wine could make her forget last night with him. She hadn't planned it, didn't expect it but it was a dream of hers since first laying eyes on him. She'd always thought that she could never have him, that he wouldn't or couldn't love her and so she settled comfortably into their friendship and convinced herself that Kevin would be good enough. Poor Kevin he'd suspected the truth all along that there was more to the two of them than just friends but she'd managed to manage his fears and suspicions. She had lied to herself for so long that even she was convinced that she was where she belonged and she was happy. Kevin loved her, he adored her, and he knew that he'd been awarded a prize that he hadn't really won. He too kept silent and prayed that nothing or no one would come along and burst his bubble.

She knew all this and had tried so hard to be the perfect loving girlfriend but then there was that fight. He'd had enough it seemed; the flirting, the hugs, the nicknames and the looks of love that he refused to believe any longer where just figments of his imagination. He knew better and he knew she knew better. They'd planned an evening together just the two of them. It had been a while, with her job and her friends she'd neglected them. He was getting more and more insecure and needy and it was starting to annoy her. His clinginess was no longer cute or endearing. Words were exchanged, accusations insinuated and voices seemed to get louder and louder until the sound of the door slamming placed a period on the matter and maybe signaled the end of them.

She was upset and emotional when he'd left having had the last word and leaving her with still more to say. So she marched herself into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of her cheapest, sweetest wine and a glass and plopped on the couch to pout and ponder still refusing to admit that she'd done anything wrong. But she had done something very wrong. She'd entered a relationship with man that she could never love, never confide in never truly trust with her heart because she had already done all those things with another. Kevin never had a chance and she'd made him a place holder, an unwitting observer to the real truth…she'd made him a victim and it was only a matter of time that all of her realities would come crashing down on her.

So now what? She'd done the unthinkable with the unthinkable and it was morning there was no place to hide because if she knew anything about her best friend he'd want to talk about it. She wouldn't be able to face that look of regret and pity in his eyes and she couldn't stand the rejection no matter how sweetly he would try to tell her that it was all a drunken mistake. She also remembered those three words, that she'd whispered to him as she drifted off to sleep feeling like a song, she'd heard a million times on the radio.

She panicked and she couldn't face him so the first thing that came to mind was to pretend that she didn't remember what they had done. She'd avoided him all day until he came rushing into her office as if he wanted to tell her something important. Her heart was pounding so loudly that the noise rang in her ears. Like always when she was nervous or afraid, she began to ramble and he silenced her with his assurance that nothing had happened between them but popcorn and a movie.

That's when she realized that all the promises he had made her were true. He'd do anything to protect her, to make her happy; he loved her, really loved her in the purest, truest since of the word. They both knew that his explanation of the past evening's events was really his promise to keep her secret, their secret until she was ready to believe that they could really have what they both truly desired. He was telling her that he had meant what he said last night when she told him she loved him. For just before she'd allowed her body to lull her into the darkness, he'd uttered those same three words to her. She'd heard him loud and clear and she would never forget or misunderstand the meaning of those words again. As they stood in her office, panic and tears welling in her eyes, he pulled her close and held her reaffirming his promise to protect her at all cost, she knew that she was safe and that he would wait for her no matter how long it took for her to get over the guilt of what they had done so that she could be free to be with him. He whispered those words in her ear again before letting her go and reminding her that Kevin was a great guy, even if he was the wrong guy, he thought to himself.

And so, he let her go allowing her to believe that it was for the best and knowing in his heart it was the right thing to do. He smiled as she turned back to silently thank him for being him, her rock, her solace and her protector. His heart shattered as he knew that she would be walking back into the arms of another man possibly never to return to her rightful place; but she was worth the risk and more importantly, she was worth the wait. As the door closed behind her he was reminded of a quote, "If you truly love someone set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were." Derek was nothing if not a patient man; the last eight years had proven that.

The woman who'd proven that she was willing and able to pull him from the brink of despair and madness had left an indelible mark on his life and she'd carved her own space in his heart. She belonged there with him and he knew that as fact. So, he closed his eyes and inhaled perfectly willing to wait for her to return; then and only then would he exhale, smile and welcome her home.

Penelope leaned against the door of her office and for a moment she swore she could hear his heart beat. She loved him more than she thought was possible. She'd given him far more than she could ever give Kevin. She'd been a scared little girl for so long and right now all of her fears and insecurities were whirling around in the pit of her stomach, screaming and telling her to run! But she didn't want to run she wanted to stay. She wanted to know firsthand how it felt to have it all and Derek Morgan was her all. Truth had a funny way of making you miserable and uncomfortable; it was noisy and seemed to demand attention at the most inopportune times.

She knew she needed to go find Kevin to reassure him that he had nothing to worry about, that they were good, solid…but that would be another lie and the last thing Kevin deserved was another lie. She couldn't do it, her feet refused to move and her heart kept pulling her back inside her office. It was time for her to be that big girl she'd always dreamed she could be. Then, she felt her hand reach for the doorknob and slowly turn it; it was as if she had no control of herself but perhaps in this moment it was the first time she'd been in control in a very long time.

He was surprised to see her back so soon; maybe she had forgotten something. She approached him and it seemed that the panic that he'd seen earlier in her eyes had gone away. There was something different about her, confidence, that's what it was; it looked good on her he thought to himself. He felt her take his hands in hers lacing her fingers in his; he wasn't sure what to make of it so he waited for her to speak and when she did, he felt something he'd hadn't felt in a very long time. He felt hope.

"What's up, Baby Girl?"

"I remember."