"It's times like this that it occurs to me that we were lied to by the Jetsons."
"What are you talking about?"
"According to that show we were supposed to be tooling around in flying cars by now."
"Yeah, well, most of us rational thinkers weren't banking on some cartoon to give us a viable glimpse into the future of technological development."
"Hey… What would you be able to trade for the flying car?"
"What do you mean?"
"Say some German scientist comes up to you and says: 'I HAVE invented the flying car! I'll give it to YOU on one condition.'"
"Well, what's the condition?"
"He's not going to tell you."
"Then it's NO deal."
"The GUY is offering you the FLYING CAR, you know, like a gift horse in the mouth. Just TAKE the car, man!"
"Not until I know what the catch is!"
"FINE! The catch is you have to cut off a foot."
"Pfft. No way!"
"Are you saying you wouldn't cut off your foot for the flying car? You're that selfish…"
"ITS MY FOOT! How am I supposed to walk?"
"What walk? You'll have the flying car. After that, you can buy like, fifty, prosthetic feet."
"W-which foot? Right or Left?"
"Your choice."
"OKAY… I'll trade my.. left foot for the flying car."
"So it's a deal then, your foot for the flying car… You're sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure"
"You can't welch."
"I won't welch!"
"Because the whole world is counting on you."
"What the hell kind of scientist is this guy anyway?"
"One with a lot of free time on his hands. And a foot fetish."
"…"
"SOO… Then what happens is that you find out the guy is going to take off your foot with a hacksaw..."
"WHAT!"
"and no anesthetic."
"oh screw that!"
"Come ON. Its part of the deal!"
"You didn't say that before!"
"Come ON! It only hurts when they're taking the foot off. After that they'll use a local on your stub and cauterize the wound."
"WHY can't I have the local BEFORE he cuts it off?"
"BECAUSE. HE is a sick degenerate who likes to inflict pain."
"You said he was a man of science."
"You don't think Einstein enjoyed hacking guys feet off? But nobody said anything because he was one of the greatest thinkers of our time. But COME ON man take the hit for the team. It's a few seconds of pain for a lifetime of riches and zero traffic."
"FIINE. As long as I get the local as soon as he's done cutting."
"So you want the local?"
"Who am I? The Marquis Desod? YES I want the local!"
"alright…"
"Why'd you say it like that for?"
"I-it's just that the local he gives you knocks you out. And when you're out he… niddles your peeni."
"OH COME ON!"
"Hey." (said in an amused snort) "man you made the deal."
"To trade my foot for the flying car. Not to be, tortured and molested by some German scientist."
"and his friends."
"WHAT!"
"Its just that when he's done with you, he gives his friends a shot at you too."
"Deal's off!"
"What are you, some kind of homophobe?"
"NNOoo. I just don't want to be diddled by some German scientist and his friend afterthey've hacked my foot off!"
"Need I remind you this is for the flying car?"
"It ain't worth it!"
"See. You're what's wrong with this country, hell, with this world. You're always thinking about your own comfort level, never thinking about the rest of us. And you'll forever be remembered as the sad foot note in the book of life. The whimpy little scumbag, who could have breached the chasm of becoming, and being, but opted instead to cover his own ass, and foot, in the process."
"ALL RIGHT! I'll Go. Through. With the deal… I'll let the German scientist hack my foot off, then him and his friends can have their way with me. All for the FLYING CAR."
"You'd do it with a bunch of guys just to get a car?"
Duo leaves the change on the table as he moves to leave. Shaking his head, sighing, and saying softly:
"I thought I knew you man…"
Disclaimer:
I do not own Gundam Wing, nor did I create the dialogue… I just heard this music video one too many times. That, and I could just picture Heero and Duo sitting in a café having this particular conversation.
