AN: Okay, since I'm pretty sure I won't be able to get the next chapter of Deicide up by tomorrow, I decided to write this in honor of Izaya's birthday. If you want to see it as yaoi, go right ahead, this I think it's really more of a friendship fic. Enjoy!
Heiwajima Shizuo growled in anger as he stomped up the stairs to the rooftop of Raijin Academy. He was extra irritated today, and he was pretty sure that his hated nemesis was plotting something against him. Maybe he was spreading rumors, or planning to frame him, or being alive….
Regardless, Shizuo was going to punch his face in. That damn flea deserved it, anyway. Flinging open the rooftop door, Shizuo took a deep breath and prepared his usual battle cry.
"IIIIIIZAAAAAAYAAAA-KUUUUNNNN!" He bellowed. The lone figure on the roof turned to look at him.
"Oh, it's Shizu-chan!" Izaya chirped, after his surprise faded away. "Ah, but I haven't actually done anything today, so there's no reason to be yelling like that."
"You're up to something," Shizuo snarled. "I just know it."
"Shizu-chan is so smart," said Izaya happily. "He knows that I'm up to something even before I do!"
"Don't screw with me, you bastard!" Shizuo's eye twitched, and his urge to crush kill destroy fucking tear apart that damn insect rose.
"Wouldn't dream of it," Izaya began to make a shooing motion with his hand, but then stopped. "Actually, Shizu-chan likes sweets, right? Let's make a deal!"
"Eat shit."
"So mean!"
"No way," Shizuo declared. "If it's you, it's nothing good."
"How meeeeaaaaannnnnn," Izaya whined. "Actually, the truth is that my dad packed a cupcake in my lunch for my birthday, but I don't actually like sweets. So, if Shizu-chan eats it for me, I won't bug him for three whole days!"
"Eat it yourself," Shizuo snapped. "Or just chuck it."
"I can't," Izaya explained. "He'll ask how it tasted, and I don't want to lie to him about his cooking. But if it's Shizu-chan, who likes sweets, then I can honestly tell him that it was delicious."
"…And you won't annoy me for three days?" Shizuo asked, suspicious. He thought that the cupcake might be poisoned for a moment, but then decided that Izaya would probably just assume that poison wouldn't work, which was almost certainly true.
"I, Orihara Izaya, solemnly swear to not bug you, Heiwajima Shizuo, for an entirety of seventy-two hours." Izaya said flatly. Shizuo walked over, picked up the cupcake, and ate it. Izaya stared at him, almost as though he had just witnessed an elephant give birth to a flamingo.
"Tell him that the frosting is a little grainy," Shizuo said. "But the texture is good. It's very dense, but still sweet. Your dad is a good cook."
"…Thanks? I think?"
"That's your birthday present, flea. Now fuck off."
-THIS IS A LINE BREAK-
The next day, Izaya left a thank you note in Shizuo's locker. He also set his pants on fire during second period. As Shizuo chased him around roaring angrily about broken promises, Izaya grinned. I did take down those microphones, though…
AN: Happy birthday, Izaya. Oh, and to anyone reading this, there's something you should know: THE DURARARA NOVELS ARE BEING TRANSLATED INTO ENGLISH! The first one will be out on July 21st… while I will be in South Africa. Still, I'm super hyped for that, and I hope guys are as well. :D See ya~
