The Joy of Motherhood
By Bryce Daniels
Our heroes are walking through the forest when they come upon a young trainer trying to nurse his injured Lotad back to health.
"This looks serious," Brock said gravely. "We need to get it to a Pokemon Center quickly."
"Who do you think send me out here," the boy asked.
"This doesn't sound right," Brock said. "I say we start from the beginning, Tell us what happened."
"Well, we had a battle and Lotad got injured – like it is now – so we took it to the Pokemon Center up the road. But when I finally got her attention, she said 'if it was that weak, you should get rid of it and catch something stronger.'"
"That definitely doesn't sound like Nurse Joy," Dawn said.
"I didn't say it was."
"So who was it?" Ash asked.
"She had a uniform, but she wasn't wearing a name tag or her hat for that matter."
"That certainly sounds odd," Brock said. "I say we investigate this further."
"RIGHT," Ash and Dawn said together.
It didn't take long to find other trainers caring for their sick pokemon along the side of the road.
"This is TERRIBLE," Dawn said. "How could someone be this heartless to suffering?"
"It's behind 'heartless,'" Brock said. "This is deliberate CREULTY - AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT!"
In fact, they could hear the Pokemon Center long before they could see it, but they were still shocked by the rude behavior of the dark haired woman behind the counter. She had her back turned towards the TV, and was intentionally ignoring pleas of trainers. Not only that, but her hat and wig were on the counter almost hiding the open bottle of Scotch underneath them, her half empty pack of cigarettes however lay out for all to see.
"For the last time," she said irritably. "I'm ON BREAK!"|
"You've been on break for the past 3 ½ hours!" a young girl protested.
"And I'll continue to be until I get my full 60 minutes in."
She then turns around and fumbles around the counter looking for an ashtray.
"DAMNIT," she shouted. "WHAT DID YOU MISERIBLE CRETINS DO WITH MY ASHTRAY?"
"Pokemon Centers are 'smoke free,'" one of the young trainers said pointing to a sign behind the attendant.
"That's for YOU, not for ME."
"That doesn't sound fair," Dawn said incredulously.
"It's NOT," Brock said.
Suddenly, a green tray popped up near the edge of the counter.
"See, I KNEW you kids would listen to reason," she said extinguishing her cigarette in the newly offered tray.
That's when it jumped up, and ran around the lobby shouting: "LOMBRE, LOMBRE!"
"Are you going to heal him or what," the Lombre's trainer demanded.
"Eh, it's a water type, use Rain Dance and be done with it."
"YOU CANNOT TREAT POKEMON LIKE THAT," Ash shouted.
"Go ahead," she said lighting another cigarette. "Fire me – I'm Union."
But before Ash could respond, the door opened behind him.
Paul entered and smacked his face into his palm. "Mom, what the hell are you doing here?"
"Mom," Ash and his friends said together.
"Well, well," the attendant said sarcastically. "If it isn't the Great Reginald himself come down from on high to mingle with us 'commoners.'"
"It's Paul."
"Eh," she shrugged. "All you damned kids look the same to me."
"WE WERE BORN TEN YEARS APART!"
"Pfft, a minor detail"
"Like the fact that you're not really a Nurse Joy."
"Don't talk to your mom like that! I worked my Huntail off putting you and Patrick-"
"Paul"
"Whatever, through Trainer's School"
"Wait," Dawn said. "Isn't Trainers School free?"
"And yet it's STILL overpriced! Look at all these pathetic trainers with their weak pokemon who have to run to Nurse Joy after every battle. GROW UP, if they can't win a simple battle for you, then find one that WILL! It's not rocket science."
"YOU'RE WRONG," Ash shouted. "Pokemon grow stronger through battling tough opponents, and it's through losses that pokemon and trainer learn to trust each other!"
"I don't need EITHER of you lecturing ME! Go upstairs and leave me the hell alone, you miserable good-for-nothing little jerks! Take that ugly little c- rag with you!"
Dawn goes to protest, but Brock stopped her. He then shuffles the rest of the group upstairs before she or Ash could get another word in.
"God, I need a drink," the attendant said reaching for the bottle under her nurse's wig.
