Prompt: 082. If
Author's Notes: I don't own it. Ever. This was diffiicult for me to write because of personal matters, but here it is.

If April had never gotten sick, she never would have gone to the doctor. Or, more appropriately, the free clinic. She was pretty sure none of the people there were actual doctors – maybe one or two, but for the most part they looked like med students who were trying to do a good turn. Not that she thought their hearts weren't in the right place, but when they automatically assumed that they were smarter than her, it was a problem.

If she'd never taken that first hit, or if Roger had ever done the same, she wouldn't have the virus in her blood. It was stupid, she knew, but she was convinced that she could actually feel it twinge in her veins. She heard it rush through Roger's heart every time she listened to his heartbeat with her head on his chest, and she became a little bit heavier with the secret she carried.

If she'd never returned his call after they met… if she hadn't gone to CBGB with Marie… if she'd never come to New York for school…

If she's never been born…

April plunged herself into the scalding bath water and forced herself not to think.