Disclaimer:I do not own the book serious Vampire Academy

Storyline:How Rose feels about what Dimitri said to her about them and how she feels about


I can't believe this. The both of us and almost loosing my virginity over to a guy that was older than me. Ok, seven years older. I'm a senior at this stupid academy and gonna turn eighteen soon and he what twenty four years old. I don't see the difference at all.

Why am i the one who has to fall for him. Why can't i be all the other girls my age like my best friend Lissa and date people around my age. I hate that i fall for someone who a little bit older than me. But Dimitri is different though. He makes me more comfortable and make me be more myself. I always felt a connection between the two of us but yet he can't be with me for the age difference. Hearing how we can't be together just for that hurts a lot on the inside. He maybe an asshole yet i still love with all my heart.

Maybe i can try to fall for Mason but that would be tricky and hard cause i will still have feelings for him. I want him so bad but he doesn't want me. I guess all of the flirting and special moments that we had are based on lies then. I hate but love him still. If we can't be together than maybe i should ask for a new mentor then? Even though Dimitri will still be on my mind but i am willing to focus myself to be Lissa guardian after the two of us graduate and if we're worlds apart i can try to forget about him.

Why does all of this have to hurt so bad. Why did i fall for him? Why do i have to be the one that falls for a guy older than me than someone who around my age? Why did i had to mess up a good thing that was between us? Everything that i thought could be was all based on a lie. Something i don't think i can forgive him for at all now. I should forgive but can't and won't. I don't need him in my life anymore and if he doesn't want me or to be with me then fine. Mason cute i can be with him cause he my age and we been friends the longest too. I rather be with someone whose honest and loves to make special moments with me instead of someone who fake them all this time.

I must not love him no more. But how can i do that when i'm hurting by what he said to me. If he loves someone than wish him luck while i'll be the one alone and crying in the rain cause of what he put me through and the hurting of what he said to me.