It was odd. She didn't speak to anyone - not that she liked to make conversation with people anyway - and it was almost like as if she was in a daze every time someone approached her. Her performance on the battlefield was slowly dropping, and it seems like her emotions were starting to control her even more than before, which scared the other cadets.
The Commander and Captain noticed this change, and Erwin thought it would be a good idea that she talked to someone about her troubles. And who he decided to pick?
Of course, it had to be Levi.
Levi was against that idea, because he for one, didn't have one clue how to handle others when they're that distraught. Two, he didn't know if he could face Mikasa to talk about Eren.
For some reason, his heart ached every time he saw her around him, or if she spoke of him in any way. It made him confused when it happened, since he wasn't used to feeling this type of way about anyone.
But he didn't want to be rude and flat out say no - although he might have thought about it a couple of times - so he called her to his office later that night to discuss the issue.
Mikasa walked in, and the one thing that Levi noticed about her when she walked in was her scarf. It wasn't with her. She'd walk through hell and back with that thing wrapped around her as if it was attached to her body, and it seemed like that it was a totally new person standing in from of him.
"You wanted to speak with me, Sir?" She averted her gaze from his as she spoke in a soft tone, feeling that she would break down at any moment if she did.
He remembered when he felt that way, cleared his throat, and shifted in his chair in attempt to clear it from his mind.
"Your behavior, Ackerman. It's way off, and I'd like to know the reason why." He kept his eyes on her, and he watched as she stared off into space for a hot second, then he continued to speak. "Did something happened between you and another cadet?"
"I don't think that is any of your business, Captain." She snapped out of her daze, and spoke harshly. Mikasa was irritated; all she wanted to do was be in her room and not be bothered by anyone ever again.
"Actually, Ackerman, this is my business if it affects how well you do out there against those damn Titans." He got up from his chair that was behind his desk - which was quite neat if I may add - and walked towards Mikasa slowly. "I don't want to ask this as much as you don't want to talk about it, but it's orders from Erwin." He mentally cursed at himself for agreeing to do this in the first place, and kept in mind that he should never play therapist again.
She going to tell him that it was a personal matter, but this was driving her crazy and making her lose sleep at night, so she gave a reluctant sigh, then began to speak. "It's about Eren."
He knew that the two of them had some type of connection, so he didn't want to interfere with anything they had going on. But his heart started aching once again, so he quickly brushed off the feeling and nodded, giving her the sign to continue talking.
"It seems like he was avoiding me, so I tried to confront him about it, but as usual, he'd push me away. I was confused, but I did, trying to give him space."
Levi wanted to stop her at that moment and tell her that 'he doesn't care for you as much as I do', but it would've sounded crazy coming from him, so he held his tongue.
"A few more days went by, and he tells me to meet him by the creek, and I did so." At this point, she let out a shaky sigh, and looked down, her eyes threatened to let tears fall, but she didn't let them. Mikasa kept her head down as she spoke, which made Levi concerned about what she was going to say next.
"He told me that I was the worst thing that has ever happened to him. And-"
"Do you consider yourself the worst?" He absent-mindedly asked after hearing her say the word worst. It hurt to hear Mikasa say such a thing. It hurt even worse to hear that it came from Eren.
"Well, no." She said softly. It surprised her that he asked such a question, as if he really cared about her. It gave her this weird feeling, but she didn't think much of it.
"Then why should his words matter? Why did you let them affect you the way it did?"
She went silent, as if she couldn't find the right words to say to answer that question. She felt a hard lump form in her throat, making it hard to swallow. And looked up at Levi to meet a pair of eyes that were filled with compassion; this look that he gave was new to the both of them, and she quickly looked away.
"Because I thought I could count on him to lift me up whenever I was knocked down. I thought I could trust him with my life since I'm always saving his." Mikasa had reached for the scarf so that she could use it to comfort her, but she forgot that she gave it back to Eren before storming off. "He also said that I'm a bad person to be around...It made me very confused, but I kept wondering if he was right about that. I have gotten him into situations that almost got the both of us killed many times before, but doesn't make me bad...right?"
Levi thought about that last part for a while. Yes, she did almost risk herself getting killed so many times because of him - he did scold her for that, which only led her to releasing a bit of anger on the battlefield - but this doesn't label her as bad. If it did, then he would be considered as Satan himself.
"Look, Ackerman, I'd understand if he called you bad if you had killed a person right in front of him, but you didn't. Don't let this stupid word get to you so much."
"That's not the only reason why I'm upset, Captain." Mikasa said in a sharp tone. He didn't know what it felt like to be hurt by someone you thought that you could trust, and it made her furious. "Instead of trying to be a therapist, how about we leave the situation alone?"
"You're really stubborn, you know that?"
She raised an eyebrow at him. "Excuse me?"
That's one of the things he liked about her anyway. She was head-strong, and it reminded himself that was a force not to be reckoned with, because she will never back down from anything, especially when her life depends on it.
"You heard what I said, Mikasa. You're stubborn. Maybe that's why Eren wanted time away from you."
And at that moment, he should've took back everything he ever said to this woman. She was like glass, and his words kept hitting her hard until she was on the verge of shattering into pieces.
"Oh, really?" Her eyebrows furrowed and her hands curled into fists. "Do you think I'm sensitive as well? Or am I too much for you to handle?" Her voice got louder, and he took a small step back. Levi mentally slapped himself so many times for saying something so stupid, but he didn't think that it would really affect her like this.
He wanted to say something else to calm her down, but she was like a ticking time bomb that was ready to explode at any given moment. Instead, he just pulled her close to him and embraced her into his arms. Levi didn't realize how much taller Mikasa was to him until he hugged her, but it didn't matter at that time. His heart was beating faster than normal, and he could smell the scent of vanilla as he buried his face in the crook of her neck.
Her body completely tensed up as he did so, wondering why he was being so caring.
And then it finally hit her.
All those times that he wanted to speak to her, but she was too focused on Eren to even notice; that time when she injured her leg and couldn't walk, he was the one that made sure she was getting enough food sleep; that time when she she was out of gas and her blades were too dull, he was the one who had her back on the battlefield.
She finally realized that the one who truly cared - no - the one who truly loved her was in the shadows all along, and she didn't notice it. I guess that's what love can do to you. It can make you so caught up with the person you thought you were going to spend your lifetime with, you don't acknowledge the person that wanted to be everything that you wanted.
Mikasa hesitantly hugged him back. She let out another shaky breath, then finally let the tears fall down her cheeks.
"I'm sorry." Levi said those words softly into her ear, then hugged her tighter as if she was going to disappear forever if he didn't. "I'm sorry about what I said. That was so fucking stupid of me to say something like that when you're not even at your best right now."
"It's fine." She wanted to cry even harder now; it felt good to finally release what she's been holding in for a while.
"It's not fine." He looked up at her and cupped her cheeks into the palms of his hands, getting her to focus on him at the moment. Mikasa was seeing a totally different side of Levi right now, and to be honest, it wasn't all that bad. "You're not sensitive. You usually just lead with your emotions instead of with your brain. Many people do it."
He gave her a kiss on the cheek. "You're not too much to handle. Others just don't know what to do when they have something great right in front of them." He then wiped away her tears that were trying to fall, and she looked at him. Despite the bags under her eyes, Mikasa's eyes glistened in the moonlight that was coming through his window.
She gave an awkward laugh in attempt to clear the air of tension. "It seems like you've handled this kind of situation before."
He shook his head. "I haven't. And trust me, I do not want to play therapist again."
"Maybe you should've let the Commander handle the emotionally unstable."
"That's like giving a baby a book and expecting him to do a book report on it. There's no point." He gave an awkward laugh as well, then stepped back from her. "Besides, you're somewhat similar to me."
Mikasa raised an eyebrow. "In what way?"
Levi shook his head. "That's a story for another day. Now, go get some rest. You have training in the morning."
