Ok, here is the first chapter of my new story. It's basically a brucas story, with some minor appearances by the other characters. After reading this, you'll probably think there is no where to go from here, but I have a few ideas. It's definitely not going to be a long story, but this idea came to me and I couldnt pass it up.
I strongly recommend listening to "I surrender" by Celine Dion to get the full effect.
Chapter 1: "I Surrender"
Lucas walked into the apartment to find a few candles still burning. He walked over to the kitchen counter and noticed a blue envelope sitting on it, with his name simply written on the front. He picked up the sheer paper and ripped the back open. He lifted out the folded paper inside and opened it up.
"How many moments in life can you point to and say, that's when it all changed?" It's a really simple question, yet at the same time, is one of the hardest to answer. How can you point to a single moment and decide that's when my life changed? It's not possible. The truth of the matter is that there a number of moments that change our lives, but there's only one moment where we realize that our lives have finally changed. Depicting between the two, and knowing how to change them, that is the question we should be answering. If we know the moments that will change our lives in advance, will that change our lives for the better?
In 12th grade I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Yes, at the ripe old age of 18. When the news presented itself, I thought that my insides were being torn out of me, and in a sense, they were. How the hell does a 18 year old get diagnosed with ovarian cancer? Beats me. All I know is that it happened to me.
The doctors told me that I probably would never be able to conceive, which quite frankly at that age, wasn't the most depressing news. I look back at that moment and wonder, is that when my life changed? And I can simply answer yes, but if I were being honest with myself, that would be a lie. That's not when it all changed.
When I entered high school, I was brought into the world of fitting it. You sincerely can not survive high school without fighting for your life. It seriously is like war. It was then that I was introduced to alcohol, at least the "cool" kind. For three years, I became someone who partied every night, got wasted every weekend, anything to stay in the circle of popularity. Was this when my life changed? As sad as it might be, no. This phase in my life taught me a lot, especially the fact that high school is way over-rated, and the fact that no alcohol is "cool". But, I cant say that that was when it all changed.
One of the biggest moments in my life was in 11th grade, when my best friend and my boyfriend had an affair behind my back. I became angry and bitter toward everyone around me. I was hurt, and ashamed. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. I hated them both, and at the same time, I just wanted them to comfort me. After all, he was the first guy I ever loved, and she was my best friend. Was this when it all changed? Again, I say no.
A year later, before I was diagnosed, I forgave both of them. I let them back into my life, and back into my heart. Shortly after, me and him began dating again. It was like a dream come true. Although this moment meant everything, the day that I stopped being angry, and started forgiving, it was not the moment that changed everything.
So, looking back, I realize I cant recall the moment where everything changed? Each one of these minor moments brought together changed my life, whether for the good or for the bad. If I knew then, what I know now, would I change my life? Again, I must answer no. I wouldn't change a thing about my life, as screwed up as it was. Because in the end, it was my life.
I am writing this to my husband, the first and last man I'll ever love, and to our wonderful daughter. Yes, after everything, the doctors were wrong. We were able to have one miracle baby. I thank God for her every day. But darling, this is not a happy letter. I'm dying, and you know as well as anyone, that my time here is very limited. If I were to answer the question honestly, this is the moment where everything changed, the day I realized I would have to write you this letter, this letter of goodbye. I'm lying here and I can feel it baby. But just know, I'm not as scared as I thought I would be. I'm actually quite peaceful, knowing you will take care of our beautiful baby girl, and continue to live on. Every moment from my past has brought me to this point, so how can I not say this is where it changed?
I love you with all my heart, and I wouldn't have changed a thing. You are my heart, soul, body, and spirit. You know me better than anyone else in the world, and I'm so thankful that I was given the grace to forgive you so long ago. Because if I wouldn't have, I wouldn't have lived this beautiful life with you, and that would have been the most tragic of things.
Please know that I will always be with you and Sophia. I will never leave your side. In everything you two do, I will be with you, watching as you continue to live on. And please, continue to live. I would hate more than anything for you two to shrivel up and die because I'm gone. Understand that I wont be upset for you two to keep on living, because that is what you are, alive, and I cant do that with you anymore. So please, move on, because I will still be there with you.
I love you, more than anything in the world. I hope someday you understand why I left so early, because I did what I had to in this world. I figured out the moment of my life where everything changed. How many people can actually say that? I'm grateful that I had the honor of figuring it out, even if it meant leaving you on your own. I'm not worried for you, because I know you'll be fine. You will continue to live on, and that's what I love most about you.
With all of my heart, all of my breath, and every fiber of my being
Brooke
Tears trickled down the sides of his face. How could she possibly be saying goodbye? It wasn't over yet, they could still fight.
He placed the envelope and letter down on the counter and hustled to the bedroom. He pushed open the old door to find his lovely wife and daughter a sleep on the bed. He smiled at the sight of beauty before him. He slowly walked over to them, sat down on the creaky mattress, and placed his hand on Brooke's side. He rubbed her gently, trying not to wake Sophia next to her.
When Brooke didn't budge, he bent down and kissed the side of her face as he whispered in her ear. "Baby, it's time to wake up" he smiled. She still didn't move. He nudged a little harder until her body turned over and lied limp next to him.
Tears flooded down his face.
"Brooke, please wake up." he cried as he continued to nudge her body "Brooke" he began to shout "It's not time yet Brooke. You still have so much life to live. Please baby, wake up" he cried and screamed at the same time.
By this time Sophia began to stir next to them, and she began to cry at the shouting of her father's voice. Lucas fell upon his wife's lifeless body and sobbed as hard as he could. The love of his life was no longer with him. How could she possibly think that he could go on living?
After what seemed like hours of just lying there, the only sound coming from both his and Sophia's crying, Lucas finally gathered the courage to pull himself off of Brooke, his Brooke. He kissed her cheek once more before he picked Sophia up in his arms and headed back out to the kitchen. He sat down on the couch, staring at the letter before him. He tried to calm Sophia down, and after a few minutes, he managed to do so. He laid her down next to him and he picked up the letter once more.
I figured out the moment of my life where everything changed. How many people can actually say that?
He read that line over and over. How many people were honored with the gift of figuring out the moment where everything changed? How could writing one last love letter saying goodbye be that moment for her? It hurt him to think about it. What defined a moment as being life-altering, and who decided it was life-altering? If he had to pick a moment out of her life, this definitely would not have been it. Saying goodbye is not life-altering, it's depressing, and hard, and tragic, but it was inevitable. Everyone had to say goodbye at some point. Is that what made it life-altering?
These questions would torture him the rest of his life. Would he ever be able to move on without the love of his life beside him.
Every morning, when he would wake up, he could almost feel her sleeping next to him. When the sun would shine through the blinds, he could swear that they outlined her beautiful frame. He would look over and see her smiling back at him, and he knew today would be a good day. She was with him, his Brooke, was with him every day. Although, it didn't bring her back, it was comforting to know she hadn't left him for good.
A few years later
"daddy, daddy, can we please go" Sophia whined as she came running into the bedroom. She plopped down on the bed next to him. "daddy wake up, it's time to go" she continued
Lucas looked over at the brunette little girl before him. She was a spitting image of her mother. He smiled as he pulled the little girl on top of him as she giggled.
"and where are we going today?" he asked her
"to the zoo. You promised" she smiled, and when she did, Lucas could see the same dimples that Brooke had. They use to melt his heart when she would smile at him.
"ok then. If I promised, let's go to the zoo" he smiled back at her
"yay" she cried in pure joy. She fell on top of him as he gave her the biggest hug in the world. He was never going to let her go as far as he was concerned.
"I love you baby girl" he whispered into her ear
"I love you too daddy"
"I love you too" he heard a faint whisper as the wind sailed through the window. He looked over to see Brooke's heavenly image lying next to him.
"I love you too, pretty girl" he whispered back as her image faded away.
Brooke was one of the lucky people that pin-pointed the moment where it all changed. Although hers was the fact that she had to say goodbye to the ones she loved, not all life-altering moments were sad. Lucas had realized he was also one of those lucky people. The day he realized he could go on living, that everything was not lost, that he still had Sophia, was the moment he realized everything would change. If that was what Brooke wanted him to figure out, then he had succeeded in making her dying wish come true, and that was more than he could ever ask for.
Lucas followed Sophia out of the bedroom and out into the living area. As he poured them some cereal, he looked upon the mantle of the fireplace. There, in a modern oak frame, was the last letter written by his love. There it would stay, to remind him that everyday is a gift, to continue to live, and never forget the moments of your life, whether they are life-altering, or just simple moments that help shape the person you are today. Everyday she would be with him, and that is what kept him going every morning, every afternoon, and every evening, day after day after day.
