Disclaimer:  Now… If we owned the Matrix (as those incredibly lucky Wachowski Brothers do) we would be very happy, and rolling around in cash and not writing fanfiction but making MORE Matrix movies! But sadly L we don't so… We don't… benefit from this…it is purely for your entertainment…so…don't sue (even though it is really bad and u r damaged forever after reading it)!!!! *Authors run off screaming and crying over the fact that they do not (and never will) own the matrix and it's characters*

Blah

Blah blah

Blah blah blah

Blah blah blah blah

 A/N- See how you have had to scroll down all this way just 2 read this useless message which is to tell you that despite how bad this story is we can not use the excuse that this is our first story (which u definitely don't want 2 read).  We would really appreciate any response (good or bad) to this story, but please don't b 2 abusive! L  Should we start the story now???? ^___^

YES!!!! HERE IT IS…

The story starts at the beginning (duh) and not the end but…

Scene where Matrix Code is scrolling down the screen quite obviously forming the words " The line is tapped, Cypher is the bad guy and your all gonna die…eventually" but everyone is oblivious to this fact and listens to the voices that have now started following the ringing of a telephone.

CYPHER: Yo my sista!!!!!

TRINTY: Is everything ready for me to obsess over the nerdy guy we are watching?

CYPHER: Hey! This is my shift, I wanna play spy!!!!

TRINTIY: yeah well I feel like taking a shift… besides… he is kinda cute… for a nerd!

CYPHER: You like watching him don't you…

TRINTIY: Does the word 'duh' mean anything to you?

CYPHER: You know we're gonna kill him…

TRINTY: NOOOOOOOO not my lovely nerd!!!! 'sides Morpheus thinks he is the one… and I am going to LUUUUUVE the one!

CYPHER: What do you believe?

TRINITY: I believe… (starts singing) He's sexy, he's cute, he's popular to boot, he hacking, Great hair, no girls are allowed to stare!!! (cause I am claiming him!)* laughs evily and almost misses tell tale sound of the line being traced *

TRINTIY: Are you sure this line is safe?

CYPHER: Course I'm not… I am the bad gu… oops not s'posed to say that… please forget that comment until later when you realize that I AM BAD!!! * also laughs evily *

TRINTIY: OOOO-KAY then…

Cut to scene where Trinity kicks male policeman a$$…

Police men enter

RANDOM PLICE MAN: Freeze!!

TRIN: Why?

RPM: Because I said so and I am in control!!!!!

Trinity proceeds to beat them all to a pulp while showing off amazing slow motion effects, then pulls a phone out of her impossibly tight outfit that would not be able to conceal a phone. (A/N- we realize that the phone comes off the desk but that is not the point… it all about drama and silliness!)

TRIN (into phone): The line was traced.

RANDOM GUY THAT WE SOON LEARN IS MORPHEUS: duh!!!

TRIN: are there any agents?

RG (M): Of course, it wouldn't be any fun if there weren't, none of those fat, un-co police men are any good for a decent chase scene.

TRIN: S#$*&#$(H*%()#&*($I#)$&#T! Oh well, I best run away so that I can show more of the terrific slow motion effects and show off my wonderful running away skills!

RG (M): You do that and have fun!

Trinity runs away, making impossible leaps over impossible distances, as we are so subtly reminded of by the Police men.  Trinity then TRIES to dives through a teeny tiny window and misses, hitting the brick wall and sliding slowly down with squeaking noises.

TRIN: oooooooooowwwwwwwwwwww.

Manages to get up and run towards a phone booth arriving at the same time as a large military looking truck, which revs its engine and faces the phone booth (which contains a ringing public phone) menacingly.  Trinity glares menacingly at the driver of the truck, hesitates then runs for the phone booth just as the truck begins to go towards the phone booth, until it backfires and stalls.  Trinity reaches the booth and realizing what has happened to the truck pom-poms magically appear and she starts doing cheerleading.

TRIN: Uh huh, Uh huh, I rule! YAH!!!

Picking up the phone which is STILL ringing she disappears.

Cut 2 scene where Neo is slumped across his keyboard and random music is played in the background.

COMPUTER: Wake up my Bro!

NEO: Wha??

COMPUTER: Dude, da Matrix haz u.

NEO: Wha??

COMPUTER: folla da white rabbit man.

NEO (Who as we can see has a very large vocabulary): Wha??

COMPUTER: Nock nock Neo…

Computer screen goes blank. Silence and crickets begin to chirp in the background

NEO: Wha??

10 mins later the comp screen is still blank and Neo still has the very confused Wha?? Look on his face. A thumop is heard from the direction of the door.

COMPUTER: Got it!!.. Nock nock Neo…

Neo completely ignores the computer and walk over to the door and opens it. There appears to be no-one there until he look down and finds a fluffy white rabbit with a carrot hanging in front of it, held by a string and stick. The rabbit proceeds to run into the wall again.

NEO: Wha??

This "intelligent" sound attracts the rabbit's attention and seeing Neo it bounds off down the hall towards the elevator, but runs into the closed doors. Neo, following the instructions the computer, gets down onto all fours and follows the rabbit, and crashes headlong into the still closed doors. 

NEO: (rubbing his head in pain) Wha??

The rabbit (which is obviously smarter than Neo) gets the lift open and leads him all the way to the club. Neo follows him and in doing this misses his all-important meeting with the odd drug guy. This means he won't be able to pay the next weeks rent but what the hell, the rabbit was SO cute!!!

At the club where the rabbit has run off to be with his other fluffy rabbit friends, ignoring Neo, who is left to stand around and look lost.

Trinity walks up to Neo.

TRIN: Hello Neo

NEO: (extending his vocabulary) Who??

TRIN: I know why you are here.

NEO: (at last starts making some sense) To give me a cute rabbit that I will love and care for and take for lots of nice long walks???

TRIN: No.

NEO: But I want one! *He starts to cry*

NEO: (in little kids voice) I'll take good care of it, and be very very responsibible!

TRIN: No!! I'm here to talk about the Matrix.

NEO: (on the verge of tears) But…

TRIN: Look you'll get a rabbit later now will you just listen?

NEO: YAY!!!

TRIN: (starting talk again) I know why you are here.

NEO: We've been through this!

TRIN: shut up… You're looking for him Neo.

NEO: the rabbit's a boy? Can I still call him Fluffy?

TRIN: Look, forget the rabbit will you?!?! I am trying to get a very important message across. And you haven't even checked once while I've been here. *starting to cry* I go to all this trouble, get all dressed up, and you don't even notice! You males are all the same! *slaps Neo in the face and runs off crying*

Neo walks off (undeterred) to look for the rabbit.

Cut to the scene at the office where Neo (AKA Mr Anderson) is getting a good telling off for god knows what. Neo isn't paying attention (A/N Well who would?) and is instead listening to the window cleaners, who are making much more noise than necessary to tell everyone that they are there.

NEO'S BOSS: (ignoring window cleaners) do I make myself clear?

NEO: Wha??

NB (finally noticing the window cleaners): BOO!!!!!!!

Window cleaners are scared and fall off the scaffolding to their doom errrr. Um… deaths.

NB (turning around to face Neo again): Have I made myself clear.

NEO (shocked): Ummmm, yeah,  about as clear as that window.

NB: Good then unless you are at your desk on time from now on you can find yourself another job, none of which will pay as much as this job under MY command because I am all important!!! Bow to me!!!

NEO: b-b-b-b-b-b-ut if you fire me how will I pay for my rabbie?

NB (turning around to see that the window cleaners have somehow made it back onto their scaffolding and are continuing their jobs): Well that is not my problem is it? Now go and sit at your desk and do nothing, as you always do.

As Neo walks out the door he hears a "BOO" and more screams, he doesn't look and continues to walk to his desk where he sits and stares at a blank computer screen for god knows how long broding over the fact that he sux!

Fed Ex guy walks up to Neo carrying a package

FEG: Mr Anderson?

NEO:Is that my rabbit?

FEG: Ummm… If it is it's slighty, how do I put this? Ummmm dead and rather ahhhhhh squashed.

NEO: You killed AND squashed MY rabbie? I can't believe you, you will be hearing from my rabbits lawyer Mr Delivery Dude!!

Package starts ringing.

FEG: Well from the sounds of that I would say that it is not your rabbit so will you please just sign the paper and let me get out of here!!!

NEO: Oh, all right but you will not get away with this!!!

Fed Ex Guy snatches the pad from Neo and runs off in a hurry trying desperately to get away from Neo as he answers the phone.

NEO: Hello?

RANDOM GUY: Is this the center for verbally challenged Males?

NEO: wha??

RG: I'll take that as a yes.. (Randomly hangs up phone because he is at a loss as to what to say!)

NEO: Hmmmm OK then you do that!

RANDOM MALE WHO IS ACTUALLY MORPHEUS BUT WE DO NOT KNOW THAT YET!: Neo?

NEO: yah! Who did you think it would be… the tooth fairy?

RM (M): yes, well actually, but that is not the point, do you know who I am?

NEO: A nice man who is going to tell me that he has a bunny rabbit to give me?

RM (M): No this is Morpheus! THEY are there to get you… look towards the elevator…

Neo looks towards the elevator but there is no one there…

MORPHEUS: Damn, got the timing wrong AGAIN!!! TANK!!!!!

In background Tank looks sheepish and tries to hide the picture of the lady in red (whom we have not yet seen) as he attempts to look innocent.

MOR: Ummmmmmm… Try now!

Neo looks towards the elevator and sees a group of men.

NEO: The window cleaners are here to get me? I thought they were here to clean windows!!!

MOR: Damn!

NEO: What about those dudes behind the window cleaners??? 

MOR: yeah… look towards the elevator … NOW.

NEO: But I'm already looking at the elevator!!!

Morpheus completely gives up on Neo and hangs up; this causes Neo to be caught right away and saves a lot of stuffing around. It also saves the cost of the new phone, which Neo decides to drop off the side of the building when he was playing chicken.

OK then! Did ya like it? Did ya hate it? If ya liked it - review, if ya hated it - review, if you couldn't care less – review.

The next chappie shall feature the interrogation room and Agent Smith!! YAY!!!!

See you all next time for more randomness, oddness and of course, bunnies!!!

Two Bored Idiots

(/)(/)

(*_*)