Call me Queen of the Crappy One Shots! Here's another little one that was stuck in my brain a few days ago. I started it like twelve times before I finally got it right. So, here it is. Nothing too fantastic. Constructive criticism is, as always, welcome and encouraged. I hope this is a little less cliche than my last fic...
Disclaimer: Still don't own Newsies.
Truth of the Turncoat
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I am a scabber.
I let Pulitzer beat me.
He tried to bribe me. He offered me almost everything I had ever wanted.
He threatened to take away the one thing I never truly had.
I keep telling myself it was the selfless thing to do. I 'm not doing it for me, I'm doing it for Davey. But no matter how many times I tell myself that, I can never truly believe it. There are hundreds of other boys that aren't Davey. Hundreds of boys that are looking to me to lead them. Hundreds of other boys my decision hurt.
And this morning I saw the look of betrayal in every single pair of eyes. I wanted to tell them-I wanted to tell him-so badly. But even if I could, he'd never understand. I could already hear his voice in my ear.
"So what? Let them throw me in jail! You're the leader Jack. They need you!"
It's completely selfish. Because I know Dave wouldn't care. The strike means everything to him. But I care. I know what it's like to be in jail. I've seen what it does to boys. I've seen what it did to me. And having that happen to Davey, that would be worse that any look of shock and betrayal he could give me.
Because I know he'll be fine without me. I know he'll step up, I know he'll lead. I've let hundreds of kids down, but he'll take my spot so fast, and my backstabbing will just add fuel to the fire of the strike. Those boys, they'll win. There is no doubt in my mind. It's only a matter of time. Davey's got the brains, and Spot's got the muscles. And when it's done, I'll leave.
I'll go to Santa Fe. I'll go anywhere that's not New York. I'll run from my life, I'll run from my decisions. I'll run from those eyes. But I'll be fine, I'll sleep at night. It'll hurt like hell not being able to see him every day, but the thought of him free on the streets, untouched, uncorrupted, and untainted by the refuge will be enough to keep me warm. To make the burn in my chest go away. To turn it into a dull ache.
You could never understand Davey, that I'm only trying to help you. You believed me when I told you I did it for the money. And really, why shouldn't you? After all those lies I told you, what's one more? You think you don't know me Davey. You think that the horrible truth about me has been revealed to you. But in reality Dave, you know me better than anyone. All those looks I gave you, so full of meaning, those were real. You've seen my soul Davey and that's more than anyone else alive can say.
You have a chance to escape Davey. You can be different. You end up in jail in that's it, wave goodbye to all those opportunities you had. Think of your family, think of yourself. Don't turn out like that. Don't turn out like me.
So if I have to hurt you to save you, then so be it.
You'll never forgive me Davey. And I'll never tell you.
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