Casper Finds a Gun

Once upon a depressing time, in a dark and melancholy mansion, there lived a friendly ghost. This ghost being the famous and lovable ghost we know as Casper.

Casper was a see-through dead child who had an unhealthy obsession of helping anybody who was in need of a friend. For some odd reason, every single little girl and boy enjoyed his uneasy company. Even in the strangest predicaments, kids were alright with his soulless eyes blankly gazing at them for eternity.

Everything appeared wonderful for Casper and his bipedal friends except for his three hurtful uncles who always picked on Casper for being too friendly. They would burp on him, push him around, and consistently leave him with the bill when they went out to eat. Casper grew irritated with his uncles and how they treated him. Poor Casper would beg them to stop, but they were so incompetent that they barely knew how to breath so they could not understand what Casper was saying. Because of such unintelligence, they continued to bully Casper. Casper had to find a way to make his uncles stop picking on him.

On an average stormy day, a menial group of kids along with Casper were playing in the boarded up haunted house where Casper resided. All was well until Casper's goofy uncles arrived to give Casper his routinely three-o-clock beating.

"Time for your beatin' Caspa!" boldly stated by the thick uncle.

"Yeah!" said the other two uncles.

Casper sighed then proceeded to lie down and allow his uncles to beat him up. The children watched in horror as their innocent ghost friend was getting the ghost snot beaten out of him for no reason except that he was too friendly.

When the three finished beating up the dead child, they snarled like boars and began to sing:

Yo ho! Yo ho!

We beat up Casper, the friendly foe!

Yee Hee! Tee Hee!

We deserve some victory tea!

Yo ho! Yo ho!

He looks as depressed as Edgar Allen Poe!

Yo ho! Yo ho!

We beat up Casper, the stupid ghost!

"See ya later, Caspa!" snickered the smelly uncle who had unrelated bronchitis issues. When the uncles finished looking stupid, they flew away within the walls of the haunted house.

One of the children rushed over to Casper to make sure that he was okay.

"Are you alright, Casper?" asked the youngling.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You get used to it after a while." Casper replied in a gloomy manner. Casper floated off with his head faced lowly to the ground as the little children watched in sadness. Casper was the only one who got out of the house because he was a ghost. So all of the little children who were in the boarded up house could not escape.

Casper drifted along the street for a while, terrorizing the local civilians with his nightmarish gaze, until he reached his favorite place to go whenever he felt down, the graveyard. He would float by some familiar names on some familiar gravestones. Casper would also find himself glancing at his own grave occasionally to recollect on the past and bizarre mystery on how he died.

Casper was about to moan like a goose, right before he found something shiny appear out of the corner of his left eye. He drifted towards it without a second thought on his mind except great confusion. When he reached down to pick up the unidentifiable object, he noticed it was much heavier than he imagined it would be. Casper struggled a tad before he was able to pull the entire object out of the ground. Casper's eyes widened with great excitement when he discovered what it was. The object in Casper's little ghost hand was a reissued .44 magnum with a six bullet chamber and a long barrel with a clean finish on both sides.

"Alright!" shriek Casper, "I found a water gun!"

Casper's ignorance took charge because he had clearly never seen a real gun before. He gripped the handle firmly and examined it thoroughly. Pure joy is what you may describe the feelings of Casper at that moment. He just had to share his newfound "toy" with everyone in town.

"I'll show it to my friends, the neighbors, the local farmers," Casper listed until he realized who he should share it with first, "I need to show this to my uncles! I bet they'll be excited!"

Casper had it then set on his mind that the first people he would show his brand new "toy" with would be his misfortunate uncles. He rushed back to the mansion as fast as he possibly could with his little ghost tail flowing rapidly behind in a hasty motion.

It took him no time at all for him to arrive back at the dreary mansion and locate his incompetent uncles. Casper gave the three uncles a large and uncomfortable grin to worsen the mood of the situation. The uncles looked at Casper concerned because he would never make that face unless he found something illegal from Russia.

The three uncles took turns asking the strange little ghost questions.

"Uh...Caspa? Are you okay?" asked the long uncle.

"Oh, I'm fantastic!" answered Casper.

"Are you sure?" asked the thick uncle.

"I'm positive!" replied Casper.

"What's that behind your back?" asked the smelly uncle.

"Oh this? It's just my surprise!" Casper said excitedly.

Casper's grin was becoming overbearing and far too disturbing to look at. The uncles stared at Casper will trauma as he began revealing what was behind his little ghost back. Once it was revealed what was behind Casper's back to the uncles, Casper shouted, "Water fight!"

The .44 magnum's trigger pulled ever so slightly in the little ghost's transparent, childish hands. A loud and bold clash of power soared through the revolver like an eagle. The noise made a magnificent ring into each of the ghosts ears as they watched in horror and the worse part was, the gun was aimed at the thick uncle. Luckily, since the thick uncle was a ghost, the bullet simply passed through him, without causing any harm towards him. The bullet pierced the wall of the mansion and left a significant gaping hole inside it. Casper's face was quite surprised at the noise his new "toy" made.

"Woah! Boy, oh boy, my water gun sure is loud!" Casper said with sheer happiness on his face.

The three uncles panicked and fell to their knees, begging Casper to spare their lives.

"Please forgive us, Caspa!" cried the smelly uncle.

"Spare us our ghostly lives!" screeched the long uncle.

"We were the foolish ones! Please do not forsake us!" begged the thick uncle.

Casper looked at his uncles with vast perplexity. He still had no idea that what he was gripping in his cold dead hands was a well structured machine that could be used to kill.

Suddenly, the three uncles cried in unison, "We'll do anything for you! Anything, oh great and spooky Caspa!"

Casper saw this as an opportunity to finally gain the respect of his uncles and he took them up on their offer. "Will you guys stop picking on me and bullying me?"

The three replied in unison once again, "Of course, masta Caspa!"

Casper squealed with excitement since he finally got what he always wanted.

"Hooray! I'm so glad you guys decided to be nice to me! And for no reason at all either! Man, you guys are the best!" Casper eagerly said.

The three began to hesitantly laugh as Casper was still haphazardly waving around the distinctly detailed revolver in each of their faces.

"Of course, Caspa." said the long uncle.

"Absolutely." stated the thick uncle.

"Anything for you, kiddo!" said the smelly uncle who was crying on the inside.

"What a happy ending! And with no consequences at all either!" shouted Casper.

Casper celebrated by placing four extra shots in the ceiling with his new "toy" while his uncles hunched in the corners of the room, begging not to die...again. And so, Casper and his mentally imprisoned uncles lived happily ever after.

The End