Get ready for the wildest ride you may ever have taken with Bosco, Faith and Fred! I hope you enjoy this little 'joke' and are not easily offended. This story will take you to places you didn't know you could go.....or maybe hoped you'd never find! LMAO!!! I had a great time writing this for another 'site' and I hope you have as great a time reading it. I know you will laugh, cry, and get a sense of the sureal here. (at least I hope you will) Just when you think it's safe to come visit M.....I do this....hehehe. ENJOY!!!! Rated R for some sexual content. Humor, angst, and AU for sure!

Bosco and Faith have a slight accident on the 'Shipping Docks'....and the consequences are shall we say...enlightening for both!

The Horrific Shipping Accident! Chapter 1 *wink*

Bosco and Faith were down on the docks, searching through crates of bananas, because as usual Bosco has gotten them in trouble with the Boss and so they were assigned shit duty!

Instead of chasing bad guys they were chasing rats and bugs!

"You know Bos, one more of these and I'll lose my mind!" Faith cracked, "It will just leave my body!"

"Aww Faith, I know what you mean!" he answered her, "I feel the same way!"

"What do you mean! This is your fault! If you had just kept your mouth shut we would be in a nice warm RMP instead of freezing our asses off out here looking at bananas!" She had about had it with him today!

"Yeah, well I have a date later and she'll warm me up just fine, so the cold don't bother me tonight!" He laughed, "I'm just bored as shit right now!"

"Fred has a great dinner planned and then a real romantic happening in the Yokas Boudoir if you know what I mean! Being 4 months pregnant does that to you!" she winked at him.

"Damn Faith, now I got a visual! Thanks a lot! You know I can't stand that!" he groaned.

Faith giggled, "Yeah, I know, paybacks a bitch huh Bosco!?"

"You know you should take lessons from Fred, he's really good at..." she started, a huge grin on her face.

"AAAAAHHHHHHH OOOHHHSSSAAAYYYYY CCCAAANNNNNN..." he sang loudly to drown her out putting his hands over his ears and moving off.

Faith was cracking up at his reaction but she kept talking if she had to suffer then by god so would he!

Just then, she spotted something in one of the crates.

Stopping her torturing of Bosco, she reached in pulling it out.

"Hey, Bos..Bosco, BOSCO! Would you stop! Look what I found!" she said excitedly.

Stopping his singing of the anthem, he walked over, seeing what was in her hand asked, "What is it?"

"Don't know, think its real?" she asked holding out the medallion of gold.

He looked closely at it, shrugging, "Beats me, got anything on the back, a stamp or something?"

She turned it over, "Yeah, has some writing." She read it silently, with him lowering his head to get under her face, looking up into her eyes, "You want to share?" he smiled sarcasticly.

"Oh sorry, it reads," as she started he reached out, touched it to turn it more into the light of his flashlight.

"Shipper beware. What you ask for is not there,
Is not waiting to be seen.
But if you get,
What you seek,
Be not weak.
For like a dream,
What should never be,
Will be real and
Together they shall deal!"

"That's the weirdest shit I ever heard!" Bosco said shaking his head at Faith. "Yeah, it is. Wonder what it means?" she asked.

Just then a flash came from the sky blinding them, Faith and Bosco dropped the medallian onto the dock. It fell rolling beneath a crate.

"Damn, what was that!" Faith exclaimed, rubbing her eyes.

"Don't know but it was bright with a capital B" Bosco replied blinking the spots from his eyes.

"Hey where did that thing go?" he asked. "Damn, I dropped it!" she replied.

"You see where it went?" she asked looking around on the dock. "No, probably went between the boards. Is fish jewelry now!" Bosco cracked. "Well, sure hope the owner doesn't come looking for it!" Faith said looking down again.

Shrugging it off they continued their search for spiders and rats.

______________________________________________________________________

Later that night:

Bosco was dreaming of someone's head between his legs, and let me tell you he was one happy camper!

His body was ON FIRE! 'Oh hell yes!!' he thought, realizing he was shouting outloud in his dream, 'Wow, never had one like this before!'
It felt like every nerve ending in his body was exposed, he was so turned on he was sweating, grabbing the sheets with one hand, the head through the sheets with the other. Before he could even think about what that mouth was doing he was over the edge and "Oh,oh, oh! YES!" he shouted again, "OHHOOHHHH!" He was flying and falling at the same time! He'd never experienced sex like this before! 'Damn woman,' he thought, 'that was..."Oh shit!' It was happening again! For a split second he wondered how that could be then decided he didn't care as his body went with it, in seconds he was over that hill again!

He was so on fire that he couldn't breathe. Just when he thought it was over HERE IT CAME AGAIN!! "Damn, what are you doing to me?" He got no answer, just more pleasure.

He realized he must be having a really freaky dream, because he knew this was not possible. Then he realized he was a WOMAN? Yeah, there are the "HOLY HELL!" It was not possible to think to hard about it as his body had a mind of its own! 'Okay, it's a dream, I've heard about these!' he thought as his body calmed again, 'But I've never had one, kind of weird feeling...OH SHIT' he stopped thinking about it, as his body took over again, 'Deal with the weird when I wake up, right now, hey, sex is sex, and THIS IS A GREAT SEX DREAM!'

Then the mouth moved off of him, trailing up his stomach, kissing and sucking as it went, 'damn, that is good!' he thought, as the mouth reached his 'breast'?, 'okay another weird moment here', the mouth began to work there making him forgot what he was thinking about as he arched his back, 'HELLO!!!' 'That's why women like thhhhhaatttt! YES!!!'

Then the mouth let go moving up to his shoulder, biting him gently, 'oooohhhhmmyyy' he couldn't finish that thought as his body took him places he'd never been before.

He felt a pushing against him and a knee pushing his leg out, 'What the, okay now that's a little too weirdddd aaaaahhhhh oooooohhhhhh mmmyyyy hhhhelllllll!'

He was experiencing fire like he'd never before, he was moving with the other body now, unable to control this dream, or his body. To tell the truth he found he didn't want to, no matter how weird he would feel in the morning when he woke up.

He couldn't make out the other person in the dark of his dream,he was gripping the shoulder with one hand, his other hand was on the back, "OH YES" he shouted as he went off the cliff this time, 'Damn I could set an new record! Even if it is a dream!' But still his body wasn't satisfied!

He found himself pushing the shoulder away but instead of letting go when it moved away from him he went with it. Finding himself sitting on top, astounded as his body went crazy on him!

The other body reached up and caressed him on his 'breast' and then grabbed his hands, entwining their fingers as he rode to another cliff jump!

He felt the body beneath him arch and knew that he had brought them to the same cliff he was going over!

'Okay, I don't care if that was the freakest thing I've ever dreamed, it was damn good!' he laughed to himself as he rolled off, lying there spent, he closed his eyes beginning to go to sleep.

He snapped them open again, as the 'body' suddenly had a voice, 'DAMN BABE, that was great! If we could bottle those second trimester hormones we'd make a fortune!"

'Okay, now this dream is out-of-control!' he thought as he looked over in the bed, yelling out, "OH MY GOD FRED!!!!"

Realizing he WASN'T DREAMING Bosco jumped up out of the bed, standing next to it holding the sheet up in front of him.

"Yeah, Faith, it's me!" he laughed,turning on the bedside lamp, "Babe, you okay? You look a little freaked."

'Faith? Did he just call me...', looking over at the mirror above the dresser his eyes about bugged out of his head. Faith was staring back at him! Only thing was 'HE' wasn't' in the mirror, JUST HER!

Suddenly feeling weak, he said, "Uh, yeah, I, uh, got to...", he ran to the bathroom the sheet trailing behind him.

Slamming the door closed, flipping on the light, he ran to the mirror and nearly passed out! Faith's face was looking back at him!

At first he thought he was just having a nightmare, but it sure felt like he was awake, pinching himself, 'Yeah that hurt.' Then when the reality or unreality of the situation hit him and he realized what he'd just done with this body he was puking in the toilet!

Fred's voice came from the other room, "Faith, honey you okay? I thought that was supposed to be over by now, hell you haven't gotten morning sickness in a month!"

Bosco couldn't answer him, his head was spinning, jumping up he turned on the shower and climbed in. Grabbing the soap he started to wash himself all over, but soon more turned on than he'd ever been in his life had to stop!

Leaning against the shower wall, he tried to think about how this could have happened, and why, as he unsucessfully tried to calm down.

The bathroom door was opening. Before he could stop him, Fred pulled the curtain back, "Hey, mind if I join you," before Bosco could respond, he stepped in.

Bosco nearly came unglued, especially since the sight of Fred's naked body, made this body he was in want to jump him! "UUHH, I'm finished!" he shouted, "I,I,I'm getting out! The showers all yours!"

Climbing out he nearly jumped out of his skin as Fred patted him on the ass, "Sure Babe, you get some rest, kids will be up soon, but I'll get them, you just get some sleep! That was some workout, huh?!" He laughed winking. Bosco got the hell out of there as fast as he could.

He went into the kitchen instead of the 'Oh god help me!' bed, after throwing on a pair of jeans and a teeshirt of Faiths. (Well he was in her body you know)

Pacing up and down, he jumped when Fred came into the room, 'Damn he is hot' he thought as his body responded to the sight of him, then, 'What the HELL! What is wrong with me?! Okay, I've really gone crazy and I'm in hell.'

"Couldn't sleep after all huh?" Fred said moving in for a kiss. Bosco came as close to suicide as he'd ever been right then, but his body betrayed him moving towards the kiss. He only missed that kiss by turning his head at the last second. As Fred caught his cheek instead, he was thinking, 'Damn that was close! What is with this body?'

"Uh look Fred, I have to to in early today, okay?", he said, thinking, 'I got to get out of here before we end up doing it on the damn kitchen floor, then I really will kill myself!' His or Faith's or whosever's body it was; was on fire again just hearing him speak and that kiss on the cheek almost did it!

"Oh okay, well, if you have to. Was kind of hoping you'd return the 'favor' if you know what I mean?" Fred winked at 'Faith' and sounded so disappointed that Bosco having second thoughts about leaving, quickly walked away. Turning to Fred to say goodbye, and that he'd be back later.... 15 minutes later his senses returned for a moment and he hightailed it out of there, grabbing Faiths keys and jacket on the way, 'Oh yeah, grab the stupid purse!' 'Note to self' he thought as he ran to the car, 'shoot self in head!'

Mean while back at the batcave! Uh I mean Bosco's place..

Faith was having a similar experience with Liz, Bosco's latest.

Only she didn't have as good a time. She has been as turned on as him, when she 'started this dream' but had made Liz mad by finishing almost as soon as she arrived here! Liz had left when 'Bosco' didn't want to finish the job! 'Boy, he's gonna be pissed when he can't get her to go out again!', Faith thought laughing.

'Okay, it's a lot better to be a woman, that's for damn sure.' She thought as she got dressed, heading out to go find her 'body'. The last hour had not been pleasant to say the least, there are a lot of things about a guys body that she found immediately annoying! The itch being the first, the hair being the second! Pulling on those jeans, trying to find where to put that thing of his? Finding a comfortable position was damn near imposible!

She was about to head out the door when suddenly there was a banging on it. Going to it she peeked out the peephole and saw herself staring back at her. 'Okay, now that's freaky!' she laughed opening the door.

Standing there facing each other, Faith said, "Damn 'FAITH' you look like you've seen a ghost!' Bosco was completely freaked out by his body talking to him! 'Damn I am hot!' he thought after a moment staring at 'himself'.

"Yeah, well, you haven't been what I've been through!" he said, pushing past her. Faith's eyes widened as she heard 'her' voice coming from 'her?'. "I had to wake up to Fred, kind of," he groaned.

At first she didn't get it, then she was howling with laughter, "NOOO YOU DIDN'T! OH MY GOD YOU DID!! HOW WAS IT!!! IT WAS GOOD WASN'T IT!!"

At the look on his face she shouted, "IT WAS WASN'T IT!! OH MY GOD!!! I TOLD YOU DIDN'T I!" She was nearly rolling on the floor now.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY!!! STOP LAUGHING!!" he shouted, adding with a pout, "I thought I was dreaming, and didn't realize it wasn't a dream or your husband until after!"

That sent her over the edge and then she was sitting on the floor with the hiccups, having laughed herself into a near coma.

He stood there looking down at his body having a fit, then, "How would you like it if I went back and did it again?" Thinking of the kitchen scene!

She looked up at him with his own eyes, "YOU WOULDN"T DARE!" then she was laughing again!

Finally she was under control and getting up said, "How are we going to fix this?" she asked, "I mean, how did it happen?" "You think it has something to do with that medallian and that lighting?" Bosco wondered out loud, "Maybe we should go back and try to find it? I really can't take another 'night' with Fred!" 'Or morning' he thought to himself, still freaked out about what this body had done in the kitchen!

Faith looked closely at him, which by the way was also freaking him out big time! It was his face looking closely at him!

"Why, whats wrong with Fred?" she asked, adding with a frown, "Freds a sexy man, he's hot!"

'OKAY, that just ain't right okay! Don't do that! I'm gonna have enough nightmares from this without hearing 'myself' say that about him!" Bosco was heading to the door as he heard himself laughing behind him. She was right of course and just thinking about him made this damn body horny! 'CRAP' he thought as he went down the stairs. Thinking, 'These stairs aren't the only thing I went down on this morning! Damn traitor body!'

"Don't worry Bos, its just the pregnancy, but, hey it could be worse!" she laughed following him down.

"I really don't see how!" he said, deciding someone up there must hate him when she said, "You could be in labor or on your period!"

TBC?...