Disclaimer: I own nothing.
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Yusuke glared at the paper nailed to his door. He assumed it had a list on it. He hadn't gotten past the title, which loudly proclaimed its self in big, bold, hot pink, letters Yusuke's List of no-no's!
He knew perfectly well who was behind the list. The assholes, trying to ruin all his fun. He took a black sharpie out of his pocket, intending to vadalize the paper until he saw what was on the next line, in smaller, non-bold but still hot pink letters.
This include marking this paper in any sort of manner or capacity.
"Damnit!"
He might as well get this over with, and read the damn thing.
1. Try and sell Hiei to a circus
2. Try and sell Hiei to a freak show
3. Try and sell Hiei to anyone
4. Make subtle innuendos about Kuwabara's sword
5. Make obvious innuendos about Kuwbara's sword
6. Suggest that Botan is breaking child labor laws by working for Koenma
7. Suggest that Botan is a cougar and Koenma is her cub
8. Making any sort of speculation or comment about any sort of relationship between Botan and Koenma
9. Break Genkai's games
10. Break Genkai's games and blame it on Kurama
11. Play Genkai's games drunk
12. Play Genkai's games naked
13. Play Genkai's games without her permission and/or supervision
14. Switch Hiei's katana for Kurama's rose
15. Suggest that Hiei's hair is compensating for something
16. Suggest that Kurama's hair is compensating for something
17. Give out a picture of Kurama in the shower to girls at his school
18. Give out Kurama's phone number to girls at his school
19. Give out Kurama's home address to girls at his school
20. Go within one mile of Kurama's school, unless the need is dire and they have the permission of Kurama
21. Switch Shizuru's cigarettes with herbal ones
22. Spike Genkia's tea
23. Invite Jin to the human world
24. Invite Chu to the human world
25. Try to see Jin or Chu unsupervised
25. Dress Ichti in a dress
26. Tell Kurama that all the shampoo and conditioner factories exploded
27. Complain that Hiei's hair is too spiky and that it keeps poking him in the eye
28. Dress up as Dracula and try to eat the little kids that annoy in
29. Go to the zoo to 'free all the animals'
30. Go to the zoo to try and give Iechachi back to her family by placing her with the tigers
31. Tell everyone that Botan dyes her hair
32. Tell everyone that Koenma's pacifier is rum flavored
33. Tell Kurama that he has a split ends
34. Try to attach a carrot to Kuwabara's head and tell him that it matches his hair
35. Tell people that he has a hair fetish
36. Convince little children that he can walk on water
37. Take over other demon's territories because he's bored
38. Open a portal to unleash demon's on the human world to fight because he's bored
39. Insist that he's Dirty Harry
40. Quote the 'Do you feel lucky, punk?' part of the Dirty Harry movies before killing his foe
41. Insist that he's the Duke
42. Watch any Clint Eastwood or John Wayne movies
43. Insist he's better the Goku, or any other super sayen with a lengthy rant
44. Take ninja lessons from Jin
45. Try to take over the world (any of them) with Jin
46. Try to take over the world (any of them) by himself
47. Act like a rouge mime
48. Do any sort of cooking that doesn't involve noodles
49. Pull a Jiggilypuff and write on people's faces while they are sleeping
50. Go streaking at anytime in any place
Yusuke pouted at the list. "This is so unfair! For number seven, I didn't suggest it to anyone. I sent a memo. To everyone in Spirit World. And twenty-five, I never put that cat in a dress. It was a stripper costume. Thirty-seven, there's no reason not to do it! I don't care how much paper work that toddler has to do! And forty-nine, come on! Every one was passed out drunk, not asleep. And I never did fourteen! However… it does give me an idea…"
-several hours later at Kurama's house-
Kurama moved up his walkway carrying two brown paper bags full of food. As a force of habit Kurama looked over his garden while he was stepping onto his front porch. He made it to the door before he paused, then walked backwards to look at his prized roses. He stared, his brain not processing what he was seeing.
His prized roses had been painted steal silver.
-at the same time in Hiei's hid-out-
Hiei stretched as he woke from his nap. It had been a very fine nap and he was well rested, ready to go hunting for demon target practice.
He picked up his hand katana and pulled it out of the sheath. He blinked. He knew he cleaned it after his last killing spree… He rubbed at it, blinking again. Shock set in.
His blade had been painted rose red.
-same time, in Yusuke's super secret location-
"YUSUKE!"
The greatest spirit deceive of all time grinned to himself. He'd have to go underground for at least a decade, but it was totally worth it.
