A/N: Hallo :) I got idea for story from the baby's POV but it ended little different because not born baby doesn't see what's happening outside, obviously :D
English is not my first language so I am sorry for all my mistakes. I tried to do my best. :)
I hope you will enjoy first chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon A Time nor its characters.
CHAPTER 1 - HOPELESS
Regina was sitting on her bed, holding a pregnancy test – actually three of them. She closed her eyes for a minute and opened them to look on the tests again. Nothing changed, they were all positive.
"I'm pregnant." She whispered to herself.
Mommy? Do you know about me? I am still so small but I have all my organs already and my heart is beating, just like yours. I love the sound of your heart, it is the most beautiful lullaby. I love you, mommy. Are you happy that you have me?
Regina was pregnant and she didn't know how she felt about that. She was happy, sad and afraid in the same time.
It had been few weeks since Robin crossed the town line and she knew he couldn't come back. Although she missed him terribly she was able to admit she will never see him again.
She was villain once so she got what she deserved. But this was not what the others deserved. Robin will never know that he is going to be dad again and her baby has to grow up without him.
Her baby. Regina smiled and placed her hand on her belly gently.
"Hello little one, can you hear me? I'm your mommy." She whispered and tears appeared in her eyes. She knew raising another child alone will be hard. Yes, she managed it with Henry once but this time is different. Pregnancy means a lot of changes. But she could handle this, she had to and she will – for that little person growing in her.
"I just wanted to tell you I will take care of you." she smiled.
"I'm sure your daddy would want to be here, however, he can't. But don't worry, I will never leave you, I love you and I will love you enough for both of your parents. I swear." Finally, she let the tears fall down her cheeks.
Mommy, don't cry. As long as I have you I have everything I need. Please, I don't want you to be sad, I love you. Do you know you have beautiful voice? I like when you are talking to me, mommy.
xXx
Regina left her bathroom with frowned face. She was in 8th week of pregnancy and she had all the symptoms but this morning nauseous were the worst so she hoped it will pass soon.
Good morning, mommy. Did you sleep well? I know it's important for you because your body is working hard to give me everything I need and I want you to feel good.
Do you know what's new? I have all my fingers on my hands and also on my feet. It's funny to move with them. And do you know what else is funny too? Somersaults. I learned how to do it here. Can you feel it? I think you can't because I am so small but don't worry I grow every day.
Now, she was standing in front of her closet, thinking what she should dress. Some of her skirts and trousers started to be tighter than usual. She pulled up her shirt and looked into the mirror. Anyone else couldn't noticed her belly grew yet but she could. She should go buy some new bigger clothes. And some ice-cream, oh she got huge craving for the ice-cream.
"What are you doing to me, little one?" She asked and shook her head, smiling. "I love you but it seems you are really piece of work."
xXx
Henry was laughing so hard that he can't tell the end of his story from New York. Regina watched him and despite everything she can't help herself but was laughing with him. She knew Henry was the best thing in her life and she tried to enjoy every minute with him.
Mommy, I think I really like this boy. Henry. It's a nice name. I feel you are happier when he is around and he can make you laugh in the way like no one else. I love when you are laughing. It's the most beautiful sound I have ever heard and I feel like everything around me is shining. I love you, mommy and I always want you to be happy.
"Henry, come here," Regina lied her hand on the sofa next to her, "I need to tell you something."
Henry knew his mother good enough to notice it's something important so he sat next to her and waited for her words.
Regina was thinking how to start but she knew her son was old enough to understand.
"I am pregnant." She told him simply and watched his eyes widened with surprise and his face turned into smile.
"That's awesome." He told but became serious then. "It's... Is it with Robin?" Regina looked into his eyes and nodded.
"But he doesn't know." Henry whispered.
"No, he doesn't." Regina saw that Henry was thinking about something and then he took her hands into his.
"I love you, mom. And I am happy for this baby. I will try to be the best big brother ever." Regina hugged him tightly. She realized she felt relieved because deep down she was afraid what will be Henry's reaction.
"But..." He said as he broke the hug. "I think Robin should know."
"You know there is no way how to do that." Regina shake her head sadly.
"That's not true. Some way always exists."
"Henry," she wanted to convince him that Robin can never come back but he interrupted her.
"No. We will find a way how he could be with you again and with his baby. You might not believe right now but I do." He smiled on his mother. "We won't stop with Operation Mongoose but we have one more now. Hmm... Operation Seahorse."
Regina watched her son. He never stopped amaze her with this infinity faith. She didn't believe they could find Robin but she didn't want to say it out loud.
"I should better go I have two operations to work on so..." He shrugged.
"Oh, don't forget the most important is your school, young man." Regina reminded him.
"Yes, sure. I did my home works before. I need to talk with Belle now. Can I go?"
Regina nodded and Henry took the Storybook put it in his bag and went to the door but he stopped.
"Do you know if it's girl or boy?"
"Not yet. But when I will you are the first one who I tell it to.
"I know." He smiled once again and left the house.
xXx
Regina woke up in the middle of night, smiling. She was dreaming about Robin. They were walking by the lake, holding hands and talking. They were so close to one another she can smell Robin's so-well-known scent and she felt complete again. He stopped and kissed her lovingly.
When the sleep left completely and she realized that it was just a dream and Robin is still gone, forever lost to her she felt all the pain again almost like someone stabbed a dagger right into her heart. She was alone in the darkness of her bedroom and couldn't hold it inside anymore. She let the tears fall from her eyes and the sobs leave her lungs, feeling ripped and hopeless.
Mommy, are you crying? Please, don't. I am here, I love you and I want you to be happy. I don't like when you are sad because it make me sad too.
It is because of my daddy, isn't it? Because he is not here? I don't know who he is but I know he is important to you. I can feel how much you love him. Mommy, please, don't cry.
Regina stopped her sobs suddenly. She couldn't do this, couldn't torment herself like this. There was someone more important than everything else, even more important than her. She caressed her belly with her hand and whispered.
"I am sorry, darling. Can you feel when I am sad, can't you? I know it's not good for you but... I miss your daddy. He don't even know you exist and there is no way how can I tell him. It's not fair to him nor to you. He would love you so much."
Mommy, you forgot something. Henry was right there is always a way if you want enough to find one. You can't give up. If someone can find my daddy it will be you. You are my mommy and I know you can do anything. You will find him. You just need to try it.
She sat up and relied her back against the wall behind her. She heard Henry's words in her head and something deep inside her was telling her she should listen to him. That maybe, just maybe he was right.
"Sometimes I think I should go and find your daddy. I want to but I can't leave Henry or make him leave Emma. That's not a option. We are living in a very special town. Once if you leave you will never find a way back. That's what happened with your daddy. He didn't want to leave but he had to. He is very good, strong and honorable man and he did the right thing to save someone's life. I'm proud of him but I miss him."
Regina felt that she could tell anything to her baby. That her deepest thoughts which she would never tell to anyone in this on any other realm could be said out loud now.
"I want to have hope." She whispered barely audibly. "I want to hope he will come back to us but I am afraid."
Don't be, mommy. You are so strong. I will tell you what I know about this word. Love and hope are the most powerful things ever. Yours and daddy's love is strong because it created me. You need to have hope and everything will be okay. Don't be afraid, I am with you and so is Henry.
Regina stood up, dressed a bathrobe on her pajamas and went to the table. She still didn't know why she had took one blank book from the Author's library yesterday. She went through the blank pages when she noticed something what wasn't there before. One page – somewhere over the middle – wasn't blank. There was the same picture of her and Robin which she had ripped out on the town line when he had left.
"What...?" Her head spun and she could hear Robin's voice "Not doomed to suffer... bright future... sign... possibilities... hope." Her hands was shaking as she run through the book again but there was nothing else. Only this one page.
Regina laughed slightly with tears in corners of her eyes.
"Can you see, darling? I wanted to hope so I got a sign I can." She took a deep breath.
"I promised you to take care of you and if it means to bring your daddy back to us I will try anything to do it."
Let me know what you think. I will be thankful for every review.
Next chapter will be soon ;)
