Zims latest plan: Homicidal testing
As the young man descended deeper into the
earth in the lift, he looked around at the wondrous machinery, pipe
lines & technology that surrounded the narrow tube. GIR was
sitting down taking out of his head a tube of something, maybe
toothpaste or acne cream, & sucking on it loudly, trying vainly
to get every last scrap of whatever was in the tube, even going so
far as to lick the cap, then offered the empty tube to the man.
"Hmm?
What's this?" Inquired the man
"It's tube cheese, I is the
cheese man!" GIR replied
"Oh, err, thank you" he said as he
examined the obviously empty tube of liquefied cheese.
"I'm
GIR, what's your name skinny?" GIR asked showing little real
interest while playing with his antennae, as was the young man as his
attention was more focused on the various rooms they were
passing.
"What? Hmm?" The man turned quickly to GIR who looked
up & repeated
"I'm GIR what's your name skinny?"
Looking
rather annoyed at being called skinny, he glanced around a tad more
then turned to GIR & extended his hand towards him as though to
announce
"My name is Johnny C., but you can call me Nny",
"Nice place you have here" He added as they descended further &
further underground.
Finally they reached the laboratory that
Zim was working in, but where was Zim? He was no where to be seen, &
as Nny walked into the shadowy depths of the sparsely lighted room.
The room itself was a circular room, filled with inactive monitors,
blinking consoles, purple lights & large wires & pipe lines
snaking all over the edges of the walls & ceiling.
As Nny &
GIR walked further into the room, a metallic tapping sound began to
echo through the room. Several shadows began to move around the walls
as Zim descended from the roof, suspended by his PAK's thin
mechanical legs to the above pipes & wires. As he silently landed
onto the metal plates that formed the floor of his lair.
"Welcome,
human, how do you like the greatest feats of IRKEN ENGINEERING!?!"
Zim asked with excitement & anticipation of Nny's answer in his
voice.
Nny leapt around daggers in the air as he lunged at Zim.
Zim stood momentarily to build dramatics, and then hoisted himself
out of the way & onto a nearby monitor. Nny stopped & looked
on at Zim, realizing that he had just attacked the
alien.
"COMPUTER!"
"What nooooow!?" moaned the familiar
computerized voice. Zim looked at the screen that the computer was
speaking through narrow eyed for a second before yelling
"Confiscate
weaponry!"
In a blinding light, the computer manifested a blue
glowing force field around the pair of daggers, releasing Nny's
grip on them & hoisting them up to a hole in the wall that sealed
up as soon as it had appeared.
"HUMAN! No one threatens Zim,
especially not in my own base, NO OOOOOONE!!!" Zim yelled in
triumphant laughter, before realizing that Nny was messing with a
console.
"Wait, what are you doing? Get away from there; you
don't know what you're doing!" Zim frantically yelled, running
over in time to stop Nny from pressing a series of self-destruction
keypads.
With a smile on his face, Nny bent down towards the small
alien, giving an expression that well respected physicists usually
get when they finally get invited to a party.
"So, which planet
are you from? Who are you? Why are you here? Wh…" Before Nny
could finish asking, GIR latched onto his back & started shouting
about pigs.
"No questions human, I have had GIR bring you here
for a purpose." Zim said maniacally.
As soon as Zim finished,
several straps from a nearby table sprang up & latched themselves
onto Johnny, pulling him into its embrace.
"You, pig beast, are
going to have a brain scan, to see if humans actually do have any
significant brain activity."
Nny seemed to be nonchalante about
the rough treatment that was accorded to him, as Zim tapped away at a
near by console, turning every so often to observe the various
machinery whirring & moving closer to the ever entranced
homicide. After a brief flash from the larger machine directly above
Nny, the gigantic console Zim was facing immediately came to life,
spitting out image after image.
To Zims surprise &
apparent pleasure, most of the images were of the Johnny doing the
most horrible & indescribable things imaginable. One image was of
Nny when he was called a gay freak by some man at a work station in
Mc. Cambell's fast food restaurant. As Nny reached over to the soon
to be eviscerated man, he grabbed a plastic fork & pulled the man
onto it over the counter, wedging it through his intestines &
pulling them out over the floor, as the other workers & customers
screamed, ran & regurgitated all over the increasingly red &
green room.
Zim cringed at the sight, but still had a look of
eagerness in his expression. Image after image contained mostly past
murders that Nny had committed, usually with the use of a torture
device, daggers, his boots or plastic cutlery.
Back on the
table, Nny examined Zim, noticing the many features of his species,
the lime green skin, the thin antennae, & most noticeable, the
strange dome shaped device on his back.
"What is that thing on
your back?" Nny asked with eagerness filling his conscious thought.
Zim tapped a bit more on the console & turned towards Johnny,
demanding that he be quiet for the procedure. Now getting a little
annoyed, Nny began to struggle a little in his restraints, looking
around for something to break them.
Noticing, Zim turned towards
him, & announced;
"I have plans for you human, what is your
name?" Zim inquired.
With the annoyance subsiding, Nny replied
"I am Johnny C., but you can call me Nny"
"Hmmm?" Zim
replied "You would rather be named after a FILTHY earth monkey
bone?"
"No, Nny as in the last three letters of my name"
Johnny corrected.
Using his mechanical legs to arch over him, Zim
yelled at Nny
"DO NOT RESIST ME, I CONTROL YOUR FATE!", "So,
Nny then is it? That sounds good now that I think on it, perhaps all
humans aren't as stupid as the Dib creature" Zim said
aloud.
"Dib?" Nny asked.
"The Dib will be your test, you
will help me bring about the doom of your planet to the coming
madness" Zim announced. Almost immediately GIR jumped in front of
Zim & shouted
"I'm making the cake!"
Both Zim &
Johnny looked confused at GIR before Nny asked
"So you are here
to wipe out the human race? If you're going to do that, can I keep
a few that I like?"
Zim sighed, then turned to the console
again
"How many are we talking about? I do have to enslave you
all you know, the Tallest will be most pleased with my success, at
using one of their own against them, in fact, I think I'll call
them" Zim taps a few buttons, & the Irken economic symbol
flashed onto the screen.
"Ooo, can I see?" Nny asked
"Meh,
okay, since you're going to help me anyway" Zim said as he
unrestrained him.
Nny walked over to the screen & looked as
the screen flickered onto a strange looking sight. Two tall &
skinny figures appeared onto the screen, One in red & black
armour covering most its body, & the other the same but with
Purple & white colouring. The red one had red eyes, a rather long
head vertically, & had two claw like fingers with no thumb coming
from a gauntlet covering its hand & half of its arm. The other
had Purple eyes, but apart from that was generally the same as the
other. Both appeared the exact same height, were both floating a foot
or two from the ground & were each wearing a robe from the waist
down, & each had a grey PAK on their backs, much larger than Zims
PAK was.
"What noow Zim?" Inquired the Red one from behind a
bag of nachos he was holding. The Purple one appeared to look at the
screen with an irritated look on his face, eating a small box of
curly fries.
"My Tallest, I have devised a new INGENIOUS &
HORRIBLE PLAN, TO ANNIHILATE THE HUMANS!" Zim announced to the
pair.
"Oh not again" Whispered the Purple one.
"Zim, why
have you called us...again? You do with every plan you get, you
called us just yesterday to say that you had an idea to use earthen
artificial beavers to power & giant pancake making machine to
flood the earth in pancakes."
"It could have worked if I had
known that the beavers melted after about 2 hours of chewing, these
earth pigs don't label anything right!" Zim complained.
The
two aliens hovered for a while, awkwardly looking at each other &
at Zim for a few seconds, after which the purple one seemed to notice
something off-screen & floated off to investigate with a grin on
his face, while the Red one gave him a look that seemed to say 'why
do I know him?'.
Finally Nny stepped into the screen shot &
the Red alien looked at him with a slight surprise in the gleaming
light shine of his eyes.
"Hey Purple, who is the dark looking
guy?" The Red alien suddenly asked. As soon as was said, the purple
eyes alien, now known to be named Purple, peered into the screen form
the side with a large maroon bag of what appeared to be curly fries
under his arm, a very large bulging bag that appeared to be
overflowing, dropping them all over the floor, after which a very
small looking alien would jump onto the floor & begin shoveling
them into its mouth. Purple gave an inquisitional glance in Nny's
general direction, squinting his eyes a little before saying with a
mouth full of fries
"Uh uhyu, ebe e ish a shhraro rer"
The
Red eyed alien looked at him with annoyance building in his piercing
gaze before saying with great hesitance & dread in his
voice
"…what?"
Purple swallowed what his mouth was vainly
attempting to contain, & he repeated
"I don't know, maybe
he is a shadowan, Red".
The Red alien, who is coincidentally
named Red, turned his head & a look of wonder appeared on his
face.
"Is he a Shadowan Zim?" he asked with interest growing
in his voice.
"No, he is a disgusting human worm germ that I'm
using in my latest & GREATEST plan" Zim replied with a somewhat
calm voice (Apart from the ending of course)
Red & Purple
turned for a minute, discussing something as Nny & Zim looked at
the screen intently.
"These are you Leaders then?" Nny
asked
"Be quiet! & yes, they are my Tallest" Zim
replied
"Your leaders are just taller than everyone else?" Nny
asked with a puzzled look on his face.
Somewhere in the deep
reaches of his mind, Dib's voice rang out the words "That's
what I said!!" The words echoed & bounced around his mind,
stinging every surface of his psyche they touched, until Zims anger
finally swatted it out of his brain.
"Human, you are one of the
most destructive forces of your species I have ever seen; YOU will be
my instrument of DEStruction on this pitiful ball of dirt called
planet EArth, your species will finally become submitted to the power
of the Irken Empire" Zim proposed triumphantly
"Oh, that
sounds interesting, what do I actually do in this then?" Nny asked,
erect in posture with his hands behind his back & an inquisitive,
if not somewhat dark look developing on his face, half covered in
shadow, & the other half covered in blue/purple light emanating
from the screen.
"First, you will be tested to see if your
imperfect human body is able to take on the HORRIBLE trials that I
have installed for this revOLTing little planet." A menacing &
maniacal look overshadowed Zims face, as he & Nny walked away
from the screen, the Tallest now looking uninterestingly into the
room, before casually turning it off.
To be continued-
