This is like an epilogue/sequel/continuation to my last story 'Fate'. I wish I could come up with better titles, but you get the idea. This time it is set in Eriol's POV. This fic just WREAKS of sappy luv-luv stuff. Fluff galore with dashes of angst. I took the liberty of combining some elements of the manga, (considering the anime didn't touch on the Kaho/Eriol subject in detail). I wasn't too cross with Kaho in this fic (for all you Kaho enthusiasts) I was merciful *grumble*
*I do not own CCS or any related characters they are ©CLAMP, NHK etc*
A New Beginning
By: Nanashi
It's been a month and a half since we declared ourselves to each other. One whole beautiful month we have been together. I smiled, petting the sleeping mass of Chinese boy in my lap. Syaoran had a very tiring day, part of him was still grieving, but I'd like to think I've helped him heal a little. I stretched out a bit on the soft couch we were on and in doing so the letter on the coffee table in front of me caught my eye.
"Kaho.." I frowned.
I still hadn't decided what I would do about her. Sometimes I wish I was back to my full power to do something about it, perhaps Sakura could help me? I chuckled. The girl certainly made me proud to have chosen her as my successor. Her power grew everyday, even more now that she had found her true life-long love. I was very happy for her, although I wished my own ending could be happier. I continued to stare at the envelope, beckoning me to reach out and read it again. But I didn't want to. It was a constant reminder of the fact that I would have to return to England soon. I continued to tangle my fingertips in the sleeping boy's hair. I still remember how red his face had turned when I reminded him that I had only come here for a while. The expression on his face when he read Kaho's letter. I couldn't help but feel guilty for lying to the boy. I hadn't predicted any of this happening. The truth was, I came to Japan because I sensed the death of a relative and Sakura's power had grown erratic. Part of me longed to see Syaoran, but I had not anticipated him accepting me..again. I guess it really was meant to be. Even after I had decided to give him up to Sakura long ago, it seems his heart always strayed back to me. How lucky I was.
The adorable wolf stirred and gazed up at me through his sleepy eyes.
"Are you awake?" I cooed.
"Yeah.." He yawned picking himself up and taking in his surroundings.
"Sorry I fell asleep again Eriol." he apologized.
I snatched him up in my arms and tackled him down into the couch again. He giggled as I hovered over him, finally laying my head on his chest.
"There's my answer.." I replied.
He laughed and I closed my eyes finally realizing it had grown quiet. I looked up in time to see he held the letter in his hand and was rereading it with a somber expression..again. I sat up.
"Syaoran.." I began, gazing at my love. "You know I have to go back..we have been through this already. I promise I will be back for you, soon."
I didn't have to read his mind to know what he was thinking, but something else was troubling him.
"What's wrong?" I said leaning in close to him.
"It's seems all the people I love..end up leaving me." He sighed.
I must admit that remark really did hurt, because it seemed true. I wanted to be different. But what could I do? I had to resolve things in England before finally taking the next step in our relationship.
And then..it hit me.
"I know!" I said suddenly excited by my own prospect, "Come with me!" I blurted out.
He dropped the piece of paper in shock. His eyes lit up and he suddenly pulled me towards him.
"Do you really mean it?" he exclaimed happily.
"Anything for you, koi" I said smiling, although in the back of my mind I had no idea how I was going to pull this off.
No one back home knew of our relationship yet and even I was not sure of how they would react with him there. Nakuru and Spinel might be surprised but they should be no problem. Kaho..was another matter. She was so deeply in love with Clow, and she said she would wait forever for me to return to my 'true self'. It's true, mentally I am older than I look..but..I have decided to remain in this body and grow old in line with my love. No need to confuse him more than I already was. It isn't easy being so..'experienced' and still trying to be young. But I can handle it, yes, we can go through it all together. I squeezed him slightly as he grinned under me.
"I can't wait to see your world, Eriol." he sighed.
"Our world.." I corrected him tenderly, as I tasted his lips.
He spent the night last night, and I gazed at him as we cooked breakfast together the next morning. The doorbell rang and I told him I would go get it.
"Sakura-san, Tomoyo-san!" I greeted the two lovely ladies.
We had invited them over for breakfast and decided that they would be the first to hear the good news. We chatted cheerfully through our meals about any new developments happenings in our lives recently. Sakura showed off the gorgeous promise ring Tomoyo had bought her for their one month anniversary.
"..and then Touya sprung a nosebleed!" Sakura giggled finishing off one of her stories, and we all rolled with laughter.
It was going great and after a while Syaoran nudged me and nodded as if telling me it was time to make our announcement. Sakura and Tomoyo listened intently as I stood, gripping his hand, and told them we would be heading to England in a week.
"NEXT WEEK?" they exclaimed almost in unison.
"But that is so soon.." Sakura whined.
Syaoran put a hand to her shoulder reassuring her that we would be back as soon as possible.
"Will things be OK over there?" said Tomoyo obviously observing my apprehensive face at the subject.
"Nothing gets past you.." I chuckled, "Yes, we can do anything together."
Tomoyo's eyes grew glossy and starry as Sakura let a small 'hanyaan' slip out. I held the tickets out as the girls squabbled over them, reading and viewing the travel pictures.
"Eriol, you told me once how England was covered with gardens and sunshine.." started Sakura as she turned to Syaoran.
"You are so lucky to go Syaoran!" she smiled as he blushed at the prospect of going to such a lovely place.
"Please send me a postcard guys!" exclaimed Tomoyo.
"Ne Tomoyo, we should throw them a small going away party!" mused Sakura snatching up Tomoyo's delicate hands.
The two girls giggled and squealed at their new project and they started relaying ideas for their party.
"Please say you two will come!" chirped an ecstatic Tomoyo.
I glanced over at Syaoran who gave me a happy nod.
"We wouldn't miss it!" I beamed.
"Great! then please excuse us as we go plan the event!" cheered Sakura, "Oh and I will get the invitations out!" chorused Tomoyo, "I know just who to do the cooking too!" and they both squealed, making their way towards the door.
Syaoran sweat-dropped shutting the door behind him after they finally left.
"Such energy.." I mused.
"Not nearly as energetic as you were last night luv.." he teased as my face turned crimson.
"I'm so glad you manage to spare the details when the girls come over." I laughed backing him up against the door and planting a gentle kiss on him.
"So should we start planning some of the things we will take for next week?" he questioned, "..or..find something more fun to do.." he cooed slyly.
I scooped him up in my arms.
"You know how much I love..fun things.." I purred laying him on the couch, "but I do think we need to start making some arrangements." I finished sighing.
Syaoran pouted, he was so cute when he pouted.
"You're right..as always" he said finally smiling.
We started searching the house for some of the preliminary things we would need..like..suitcases. I already had the ones I came with but since I would be taking an extra person with me this time, we had to turn to the attic, and it was hard work getting them down from there.
Later that night I left Syaoran slumbering peacefully in my bed. He had called Wei and told him he was spending the night again. I think the old guy knows about us by now, but he doesn't seem bothered by all the time his master was spending recently with his 'rival'. I smiled as I thought about our past and how so many things had changed between us. Then I thought about the future. I held the tickets in my hand and concentrated all my power into them. They would be the gateway to a vision of coming events. No immediate danger. The trip there would be safe and we would receive a warm welcome ..and..that was it. For some reason I could not see beyond that, perhaps I was more tired than I thought. I guess all I could do was wait.
~*~
The door bell rang and I scrambled down the steps of my huge mansion anxiously. On the other side Syaoran was waiting. I still wasn't completely ready for the party. I opened the door and he frowned as he saw I was not ready to go. He hustled me in and helped me with some loose ends. I wanted to look as presentable as possible.
"You look very..tantalizing.. my lil lupine." I growled playfully at him as he fixed my tie.
"Save that cheekiness for later, we are late!" he grumbled.
I pulled his face up to mine and nuzzled his nose, "Fashionably late dear."
He smiled finally pulling me outside, closing the door behind us. A huge black Limo waited in the driveway as we saw Tomoyo stick her hand out motioning for us to hurry up. We climbed in and zoomed our way to Sakura's house which was actually not as far as it seemed. Touya answered the door and glared at Syaoran for a second. Then his expression changed as they both laughed and he pulled 'the brat' indoors. Touya had eased up on Syaoran ever since he realized he was no longer a threat to his little sister, never thought I would see the day. Inside many familiar faces waited for us. The kids from school and a few students from Touya and Yukito's class. It was quite impressive what Sakura and Tomoyo could come up with in a week.
The party was divine. We had lots of great stuff to eat, music and even Yamazaki proved to be amusing entertainment. There were also the more sentimental good-byes as we neared the end of the day. Yamazaki was especially sad to see me go. He was a good friend. Sakura and Tomoyo were the most teary eyed out of everyone. Yukito and Touya wished us well. Yue even made a brief private appearance at one point, when I was outside on my own. I know he didn't want to see me go for too long. I admit I missed my old guardian. But of course Ruby Moon was a total riot so I was not alone. Surprisingly he was really good about it and also wished me a safe trip.
"Eriol, Syaoran.." said a glowing Sakura, "Tomoyo and I will be waiting for your safe return!"
"Have a great trip and I hope everything goes your way too" said a sniffling Tomoyo.
Syaoran and I smiled as we turned and climbed into the cab headed for my house. We needed to get our rest for the early morning trip tomorrow. It had been a wonderful night.
~*~
Syaoran gripped my hand tightly as the plane lifted into the sky. He was used to traveling back and forth on planes but the take off always jitter his nerves it seemed. I gave it a small squeeze and he immediately calmed down.
"You always have a way of easing my fears, Eriol..thank you" he beamed.
I grinned at him, but in the back of my mind I wish he understood the personal fear I was going through at this point. I still wasn't sure what exactly would await us after our arrival. My head was so full of thoughts and possible outcomes that I had no time to relax or concentrate and make a quick scan of the future. I was thinking so far ahead that I barely noticed the announcement that we were about to land. It had been a long trip and I nudged Syaoran who was napping on my shoulder.
"We have arrived my love" I whispered as I watched him stretch and grow excited. I grew wary. I could already feel their presence in the airport.
"Everyone, say hello to Syaoran Li." I announced as he stepped out from behind me carrying some of our bags.
"Oooooooo!" squealed Nakuru the minute she saw him.
"It's the brat! so nice to see you again!" she said squeezing and nuzzling him.
Syaoran sweat-dropped at the sudden attention, "w-who are you calling a brat?" he stuttered.
"Where is Keroberos?" inquired a snooping Spinel.
"He didn't come with us." I replied.
"So you mean to say only the kid came with you?" he mused.
"Spinel, you know to keep a low profile until we arrive home.." said a familiar approaching voice from behind Nakuru.
"Hello Kaho." I uttered trying to sound as normal as possible.
"Welcome home Eriol" she smiled, "and Syaoran!..how..unexpected to see you here?" she continued eyeing the Chinese boy curiously.
He gave me a quick nervous glance. It seems the awkwardness had already began to settle among us.
"So..let's go home!" chirped Nakuru as she picked up some bags and skipped towards the exit.
"Yeah I want to get home as soon as possible, this is too good to miss!" exclaimed an excited Spinel who privately whispered in my ear, "You have some explaining to do, master.." and Syaoran plucked him from the air, stuffing him into his bag.
Needless to say the drive home was slow and quiet. Except for Nakuru who was chatting away and asking questions. Spinel resolved to grinning so widely at me and Syaoran that he resembled the Cheshire cat. At one point I smiled and waved my little finger in the air, wiping away the smirk on his face.
"Hey! no magic in the car" whined Nakuru.
I laughed for once that night and appeased her. It was all in good time too because we arrived at our final destination. My familiar gates loomed before us as Kaho wheeled the car in. She pulled up to the driveway in front of the doors and waited in the car as we unloaded. Syaoran marveled at the beauty of the place as each of us took some bags and headed on in.
Finally bringing in the last of the stuff we settled down in the living room. Nakuru and Spinel wrestled each other for the treats I had brought back from Japan.
"That's MY Pocky Suppiiiii!" screeched Nakuru.
"I don't see your name on it Nakuru-KUN!" he hissed as Nakuru gasped.
"What did I tell you about calling me a boy!?"
And they continued to snatch food from each other. I giggled watching them. "I brought plenty for the both of you, stop being silly in front of our guest" I reminded them cheerfully.
They stopped in mid-motion as they remembered that we were not exactly alone. Syaoran sat on the couch sweat-dropping with a goofy expression on his face. Nakuru and Spinel shrank into a corner.
"We'll behave.." they chorused.
Kaho took the opportunity to break the silliness.
"So.. Li-kun, what brings you here?" she asked almost on purpose.
Syaoran grew tense as he wrung his hands together. "I..I..was" he began.
"I invited him." I finished for him.
Kaho eyed me curiously.
"I wanted to show him the country I talked so much about. I saw no harm in bringing him here for a while." I continued, but I could tell from Syaoran's hurt expression that he had meant to tell them about us.
I was so sorry I couldn't be more honest, but this was not the time to do it. He turned his gaze away.
"Oh I see, so I suppose you wont be able to stay long then, what a shame!" she said almost tauntingly.
"Yes, it is a shame.." he replied dejectedly.
God how I hated disappointing him. The emotional pain he probably felt stabbed at my heart repeatedly. I wanted to reach out and comfort him. But I couldn't do it right now. I had to resolve things privately first.
Kaho continued her keen assault.
"So the school back home wont miss you while you are here? You're family knew you were coming I suppose?"
Syaoran shifted uncomfortably in his chair.
"Actually.." he hung his head slightly not knowing how to answer the question.
"Liiiiii-kun!" exclaimed Nakuru jumping out of her corner and latching onto the bewildered boy.
"I know! It's such a nice day! you still haven't seen any of the sites around here, oh you will like it! Can't stay cooped up in here all day!" she rambled excitedly dragging the lad along behind her.
"Thank you..Nakuru" I whispered mentally.
"You sooo owe me for this!" she retorted psychically and with that I was left with Spinel and Kaho.
"Well, I suppose I will get started on dinner for tonight." said Spinel sneaking off as quickly as possible.
Kaho stood up silently and walked towards the fireplace. Above the mantel was a large portrait of Clow, and she stood observing it.
I made my way next to her.
"I've been meaning to ask you for a while now.." she began, "have you decided to grow out of your body naturally or just return to your true form?..Clow.."
I sighed at the question that I knew had been coming for a while now, and winced at the name she called me.
"I have decided to age out of it naturally." I replied firmly.
"I see.." she sighed.
We stood there for what seemed like hours until finally she spoke out again.
"May I ask why? Eriol?"
I had to think about a constructive way of putting this, I couldn't just declare my love for Syaoran outright just yet.
"My powers are not what they used to be and I don't feel apt enough to change my appearance just yet, besides this body is..fun." I gulped.
Kaho was too keen to accept a simple answer like that.
"Liar.." she said turning away from the portrait and heading back to her chair where she glared at me intently.
It was like she was trying to study my soul and feelings. I wouldn't let her invade me that way.
It was time I got a few things off my chest.
"Kaho..you always stare at that painting of Clow on the mantel, tell me why?" I inquired.
"It is your true form after all, I long to see it someday." she replied.
"Do you love me?" I asked.
She was taken momentarily by the question.
"You know you don't need to ask me that." she said.
"No..I believe I do, I need to hear your answer, your true answer. Do you love me?" I repeated.
"Of course..always and forever" she smiled.
"Me?..or Clow?" I muttered coldly.
Her mouth hung slightly at that question, like she wanted to say something but it wouldn't come out. She caught herself easing up and leaning her head sideways, studying me.
"Why would there be a difference?" she questioned.
That remark hit me hard. It seemed after all this time my suspicions about her were true. She saw me and Clow as the exact same thing, it's like she wanted Clow himself to be with her. But I am not Clow, I am only his memories and power, I might eventually grow to look like him, but even that I don't know for sure. I wanted to be a normal boy, I wanted to be loved for who I am, not who I might be or who I was. That was the difference between Syaoran and Kaho. Syaoran understood, he has my blood after all, of course he understood. He didn't care that I was rich, that I was one of the most powerful magicians on earth, that the same distant blood coursed through our veins. Kaho was filled with illusion and hope. A false hope.
"Eriol" blurted Spinel from a doorway, "Nakuru is on the phone, she says she needs your permission for something at the park." he finished as he headed back to his duties.
I turned to where Kaho had been sitting, to excuse myself from our conversation, but she was already gone. Picking up my coat I headed towards the park in a hurry. When I got there Nakuru was leaning against a tree waiting for me. I searched desperately for Syaoran with my eyes, and he was sitting a short distance away on a bench. I strolled over to Nakuru.
"So how did it go?" I asked.
"Your friend is no fun." she said sticking out her tongue.
"He used to be wild, loud and rowdy!..but he is a lot different from what I remember him being." she said grinning adoringly in his direction.
"It seems you have the power to completely change the people you love, Eriol" she teased.
I grinned, proud that my creation was so keen under that silly exterior of hers.
"I knew what you were up to from the moment you introduced him to us at the airport, you looked at him with the gentlest eyes I have yet to see." she continued.
"He is a keeper, but have you told Kaho your feelings yet?" she asked.
This is why she was my guardian. She knew when to be carefree and hyper but she also had a surprisingly observant side which provided me with reason.
"I plan to, tonight, now that I have realized her true feelings." I replied.
She smiled and skipped around me reverting to her cocky self just then.
"Ooo I should leave you two love birds alone then" she said winking.
"Go, go make up!" she coaxed nudging me towards the bench.
I smiled, "Thank you Nakuru.."
She shrugged, "What are false-form, ultra-cute guardians for?" and with that said, she skipped away.
"I'll meet you at the house!" she mused.
I approached the serious figure haunched over on the bench. He turned towards me when he saw me drawing near.
"Eriol.." he said glumly.
"Syaoran.." I replied.
We sat for a few minutes listening to the wind and watching the leaves dance by us.
"Your country is beautiful Eriol, I don't understand a word of what people say, but it is charming." he claimed staring at the view.
I took one of his hands in mine.
"I'm sorry Syaoran, I couldn't tell her about us until I had figured out her true intentions towards me. I'm sorry I put you through that type of interrogation, but I'm sure she was wary of the situation and grew defensive."
I paused for a second as I studied his unchanging face.
"But it's ok though, because I know her delusions so my choice is easy now, it wont be long.."
And then he interrupted me.
"Easy?..So what if she had told you she loved you, and only you and that she didn't care who you were or what you will be? Then what? Who would you choose?" he blurted, his voice growing shaky.
It's true I hadn't thought deeply enough about that, I couldn't love two people. I gazed in his glossy eyes. He looked so worried, so hopeless, so beautiful.
"I love you" I stated, surprised at how quickly the words escaped me.
The tears dropped from his eyes as he lunged himself at me. He didn't care if we were in public, and neither did I.
"I could never bear losing you Syaoran, I gave you up to someone else long ago, I wont do it again. I love you!" I repeated myself gripping him tightly as if he would melt through my fingers.
The sun set that afternoon bringing a night rain that washed away all our doubts.
~*~
We burst through the door of my mansion laughing and stumbling as if we had been drunk. In reality we were soaked and tired from trying to escape the rains and laughing because we were happy and free. We staggered directly to the lit fireplace to warm up. I held his hands in my own, rubbing and blowing on them to bring back their color. We continued giggling our heads off as we huddled together, dripping wet by the fire. Nakuru came up hastily and offered us some towels, but her face was littered with anxiety.
"You better have a good explanation for getting home so late and soaked! In fact, you better hide 'cause you knew you could have called to be picked up instead of running home." she rebuked.
"I've been hounded all night, you better take care of this problem soon." she warned.
Then just as quickly she scurried away when the shadow of the resident female loomed over towards us.
"You're finally home Eriol." remarked a serious Kaho.
Spinel floated over. Perhaps Nakuru had told him the situation because he diverted Syaoran's attention by telling him that food was ready. I gave him a reassuring nod letting him leave my side. I had to deal with this alone.
~*~
I finished drying up and slid my glasses off. Kaho was outside on the balcony of her room watching the twinkling stars. I joined her outside, taking up the cold night air.
"You really do love him, don't you?" she exhaled.
I grinned at the thought of his eyes, which twinkled as brightly as the stars we were viewing.
"With all my heart" I responded.
She sighed hanging her head slightly.
"I suppose there is no way I can change your mind?" she questioned.
"It's my heart you would have to change." I replied gently.
"So your decision is final." she told herself.
"It is." I continued.
We were silent for a moment in parallel thought.
"I know you told me once a long time ago 'How things will turn out in the end I still don't know' and you were worried about Sakura's happy ending. I confessed myself to you that day but, thinking back, you never really returned my sentiments. I guess I must have been fooling myself all along, hoping a day like this would never come." she confessed her voice wavering.
"Look at me, what a silly mess!" she laughed painfully, "All this time I had been the one breaking relationships off and starting new ones, it figures my turn to be dumped would come one day."
"Kaho.." I whispered not knowing how to calm the loss she was feeling, but it had to be done.
She turned to me and knelt down taking my hands in hers, almost like a deja-vu, except this time it wasn't joy in her eyes, but tears.
"Do me one last favor, Eriol." she pleaded sternly.
"If you have ever felt something for me, even a little, just please do me this one last thing." she said.
"Anything.." I replied.
"Wipe the memory of our life together up to this point, completely."
She smiled.
"I'm afraid I will never stop loving the man you could have been, the man I wish you were. So, to help my situation, I only ask that you do this for me, so that I may love you as a son, as family. And this way you can live out your life in peace..and I can stop living with the illusion of something that will never be."
I reached up and touched her cheek with my hand.
"I can be happy just knowing, we met." she finished and I smiled at the incredible sacrifice she was taking.
"As you wish.." I complied, and she closed her eyes, smiling and resting her cheek on my hand.
"You really were.. an incredible person, Kaho" I said softly, "Thank you".
Her body began to glow and she slumped against me as she lost consciousness.
"In the morning, you will awake as a new person." I recited carrying her into the room and placing her on her bed.
"You can come out now Syaoran." I smirked.
"GACK!" uttered the wolf behind the door before falling over.
I giggled as I leaped over to help pick him up. I held him in my arms.
"You heard the whole thing didn't you?" I quizzed.
"Ehehe.. how did you...?" he stuttered.
"I felt your presence behind that door a loooong time ago love." I mused.
"Should have known there is no hiding from you." he pouted sticking out his tongue.
"You are such a tease!" I tackled him to the floor.
"Hey! I just got up!" he protested as my hands restrained him.
I bent down and shut him up by hogging his mouth with my own. We laughed.
"There is no sweeter way to make you stop rambling!".
We picked ourselves up and headed for the couch in the living room, by the fireplace.
"Did you really mean everything you told her back there?" Syaoran asked once we had settled ourselves comfortably.
My head rested on his chest and I rolled over slightly to face him.
"Every word of it.." I smiled reaching up to meet his lips again.
"I don't know if I should be happy or confused?" remarked a wide-eyed Spinel.
"Don't be so loud, Suppi or they will hear us! Besides I think it's sooo cute!!!" squealed Nakuru as quietly as she could.
"Now who is being loud?" retaliated the little flying black cat.
Nakuru growled stretching his face.
"Nakuru! Spinel!..go to bed!" I yelled from the across the room.
"Awww they heard us!" whined Nakuru.
"It's all your fault you noisy little boy you!" taunted Spinel.
"WHAT did you call ME?!" she screeched and I smiled as they argued their way upstairs.
I gazed back at my love, as I nestled closer. Tomorrow was a new day, a new life and a new beginning.
~ Owari
*I do not own CCS or any related characters they are ©CLAMP, NHK etc*
A New Beginning
By: Nanashi
It's been a month and a half since we declared ourselves to each other. One whole beautiful month we have been together. I smiled, petting the sleeping mass of Chinese boy in my lap. Syaoran had a very tiring day, part of him was still grieving, but I'd like to think I've helped him heal a little. I stretched out a bit on the soft couch we were on and in doing so the letter on the coffee table in front of me caught my eye.
"Kaho.." I frowned.
I still hadn't decided what I would do about her. Sometimes I wish I was back to my full power to do something about it, perhaps Sakura could help me? I chuckled. The girl certainly made me proud to have chosen her as my successor. Her power grew everyday, even more now that she had found her true life-long love. I was very happy for her, although I wished my own ending could be happier. I continued to stare at the envelope, beckoning me to reach out and read it again. But I didn't want to. It was a constant reminder of the fact that I would have to return to England soon. I continued to tangle my fingertips in the sleeping boy's hair. I still remember how red his face had turned when I reminded him that I had only come here for a while. The expression on his face when he read Kaho's letter. I couldn't help but feel guilty for lying to the boy. I hadn't predicted any of this happening. The truth was, I came to Japan because I sensed the death of a relative and Sakura's power had grown erratic. Part of me longed to see Syaoran, but I had not anticipated him accepting me..again. I guess it really was meant to be. Even after I had decided to give him up to Sakura long ago, it seems his heart always strayed back to me. How lucky I was.
The adorable wolf stirred and gazed up at me through his sleepy eyes.
"Are you awake?" I cooed.
"Yeah.." He yawned picking himself up and taking in his surroundings.
"Sorry I fell asleep again Eriol." he apologized.
I snatched him up in my arms and tackled him down into the couch again. He giggled as I hovered over him, finally laying my head on his chest.
"There's my answer.." I replied.
He laughed and I closed my eyes finally realizing it had grown quiet. I looked up in time to see he held the letter in his hand and was rereading it with a somber expression..again. I sat up.
"Syaoran.." I began, gazing at my love. "You know I have to go back..we have been through this already. I promise I will be back for you, soon."
I didn't have to read his mind to know what he was thinking, but something else was troubling him.
"What's wrong?" I said leaning in close to him.
"It's seems all the people I love..end up leaving me." He sighed.
I must admit that remark really did hurt, because it seemed true. I wanted to be different. But what could I do? I had to resolve things in England before finally taking the next step in our relationship.
And then..it hit me.
"I know!" I said suddenly excited by my own prospect, "Come with me!" I blurted out.
He dropped the piece of paper in shock. His eyes lit up and he suddenly pulled me towards him.
"Do you really mean it?" he exclaimed happily.
"Anything for you, koi" I said smiling, although in the back of my mind I had no idea how I was going to pull this off.
No one back home knew of our relationship yet and even I was not sure of how they would react with him there. Nakuru and Spinel might be surprised but they should be no problem. Kaho..was another matter. She was so deeply in love with Clow, and she said she would wait forever for me to return to my 'true self'. It's true, mentally I am older than I look..but..I have decided to remain in this body and grow old in line with my love. No need to confuse him more than I already was. It isn't easy being so..'experienced' and still trying to be young. But I can handle it, yes, we can go through it all together. I squeezed him slightly as he grinned under me.
"I can't wait to see your world, Eriol." he sighed.
"Our world.." I corrected him tenderly, as I tasted his lips.
He spent the night last night, and I gazed at him as we cooked breakfast together the next morning. The doorbell rang and I told him I would go get it.
"Sakura-san, Tomoyo-san!" I greeted the two lovely ladies.
We had invited them over for breakfast and decided that they would be the first to hear the good news. We chatted cheerfully through our meals about any new developments happenings in our lives recently. Sakura showed off the gorgeous promise ring Tomoyo had bought her for their one month anniversary.
"..and then Touya sprung a nosebleed!" Sakura giggled finishing off one of her stories, and we all rolled with laughter.
It was going great and after a while Syaoran nudged me and nodded as if telling me it was time to make our announcement. Sakura and Tomoyo listened intently as I stood, gripping his hand, and told them we would be heading to England in a week.
"NEXT WEEK?" they exclaimed almost in unison.
"But that is so soon.." Sakura whined.
Syaoran put a hand to her shoulder reassuring her that we would be back as soon as possible.
"Will things be OK over there?" said Tomoyo obviously observing my apprehensive face at the subject.
"Nothing gets past you.." I chuckled, "Yes, we can do anything together."
Tomoyo's eyes grew glossy and starry as Sakura let a small 'hanyaan' slip out. I held the tickets out as the girls squabbled over them, reading and viewing the travel pictures.
"Eriol, you told me once how England was covered with gardens and sunshine.." started Sakura as she turned to Syaoran.
"You are so lucky to go Syaoran!" she smiled as he blushed at the prospect of going to such a lovely place.
"Please send me a postcard guys!" exclaimed Tomoyo.
"Ne Tomoyo, we should throw them a small going away party!" mused Sakura snatching up Tomoyo's delicate hands.
The two girls giggled and squealed at their new project and they started relaying ideas for their party.
"Please say you two will come!" chirped an ecstatic Tomoyo.
I glanced over at Syaoran who gave me a happy nod.
"We wouldn't miss it!" I beamed.
"Great! then please excuse us as we go plan the event!" cheered Sakura, "Oh and I will get the invitations out!" chorused Tomoyo, "I know just who to do the cooking too!" and they both squealed, making their way towards the door.
Syaoran sweat-dropped shutting the door behind him after they finally left.
"Such energy.." I mused.
"Not nearly as energetic as you were last night luv.." he teased as my face turned crimson.
"I'm so glad you manage to spare the details when the girls come over." I laughed backing him up against the door and planting a gentle kiss on him.
"So should we start planning some of the things we will take for next week?" he questioned, "..or..find something more fun to do.." he cooed slyly.
I scooped him up in my arms.
"You know how much I love..fun things.." I purred laying him on the couch, "but I do think we need to start making some arrangements." I finished sighing.
Syaoran pouted, he was so cute when he pouted.
"You're right..as always" he said finally smiling.
We started searching the house for some of the preliminary things we would need..like..suitcases. I already had the ones I came with but since I would be taking an extra person with me this time, we had to turn to the attic, and it was hard work getting them down from there.
Later that night I left Syaoran slumbering peacefully in my bed. He had called Wei and told him he was spending the night again. I think the old guy knows about us by now, but he doesn't seem bothered by all the time his master was spending recently with his 'rival'. I smiled as I thought about our past and how so many things had changed between us. Then I thought about the future. I held the tickets in my hand and concentrated all my power into them. They would be the gateway to a vision of coming events. No immediate danger. The trip there would be safe and we would receive a warm welcome ..and..that was it. For some reason I could not see beyond that, perhaps I was more tired than I thought. I guess all I could do was wait.
~*~
The door bell rang and I scrambled down the steps of my huge mansion anxiously. On the other side Syaoran was waiting. I still wasn't completely ready for the party. I opened the door and he frowned as he saw I was not ready to go. He hustled me in and helped me with some loose ends. I wanted to look as presentable as possible.
"You look very..tantalizing.. my lil lupine." I growled playfully at him as he fixed my tie.
"Save that cheekiness for later, we are late!" he grumbled.
I pulled his face up to mine and nuzzled his nose, "Fashionably late dear."
He smiled finally pulling me outside, closing the door behind us. A huge black Limo waited in the driveway as we saw Tomoyo stick her hand out motioning for us to hurry up. We climbed in and zoomed our way to Sakura's house which was actually not as far as it seemed. Touya answered the door and glared at Syaoran for a second. Then his expression changed as they both laughed and he pulled 'the brat' indoors. Touya had eased up on Syaoran ever since he realized he was no longer a threat to his little sister, never thought I would see the day. Inside many familiar faces waited for us. The kids from school and a few students from Touya and Yukito's class. It was quite impressive what Sakura and Tomoyo could come up with in a week.
The party was divine. We had lots of great stuff to eat, music and even Yamazaki proved to be amusing entertainment. There were also the more sentimental good-byes as we neared the end of the day. Yamazaki was especially sad to see me go. He was a good friend. Sakura and Tomoyo were the most teary eyed out of everyone. Yukito and Touya wished us well. Yue even made a brief private appearance at one point, when I was outside on my own. I know he didn't want to see me go for too long. I admit I missed my old guardian. But of course Ruby Moon was a total riot so I was not alone. Surprisingly he was really good about it and also wished me a safe trip.
"Eriol, Syaoran.." said a glowing Sakura, "Tomoyo and I will be waiting for your safe return!"
"Have a great trip and I hope everything goes your way too" said a sniffling Tomoyo.
Syaoran and I smiled as we turned and climbed into the cab headed for my house. We needed to get our rest for the early morning trip tomorrow. It had been a wonderful night.
~*~
Syaoran gripped my hand tightly as the plane lifted into the sky. He was used to traveling back and forth on planes but the take off always jitter his nerves it seemed. I gave it a small squeeze and he immediately calmed down.
"You always have a way of easing my fears, Eriol..thank you" he beamed.
I grinned at him, but in the back of my mind I wish he understood the personal fear I was going through at this point. I still wasn't sure what exactly would await us after our arrival. My head was so full of thoughts and possible outcomes that I had no time to relax or concentrate and make a quick scan of the future. I was thinking so far ahead that I barely noticed the announcement that we were about to land. It had been a long trip and I nudged Syaoran who was napping on my shoulder.
"We have arrived my love" I whispered as I watched him stretch and grow excited. I grew wary. I could already feel their presence in the airport.
"Everyone, say hello to Syaoran Li." I announced as he stepped out from behind me carrying some of our bags.
"Oooooooo!" squealed Nakuru the minute she saw him.
"It's the brat! so nice to see you again!" she said squeezing and nuzzling him.
Syaoran sweat-dropped at the sudden attention, "w-who are you calling a brat?" he stuttered.
"Where is Keroberos?" inquired a snooping Spinel.
"He didn't come with us." I replied.
"So you mean to say only the kid came with you?" he mused.
"Spinel, you know to keep a low profile until we arrive home.." said a familiar approaching voice from behind Nakuru.
"Hello Kaho." I uttered trying to sound as normal as possible.
"Welcome home Eriol" she smiled, "and Syaoran!..how..unexpected to see you here?" she continued eyeing the Chinese boy curiously.
He gave me a quick nervous glance. It seems the awkwardness had already began to settle among us.
"So..let's go home!" chirped Nakuru as she picked up some bags and skipped towards the exit.
"Yeah I want to get home as soon as possible, this is too good to miss!" exclaimed an excited Spinel who privately whispered in my ear, "You have some explaining to do, master.." and Syaoran plucked him from the air, stuffing him into his bag.
Needless to say the drive home was slow and quiet. Except for Nakuru who was chatting away and asking questions. Spinel resolved to grinning so widely at me and Syaoran that he resembled the Cheshire cat. At one point I smiled and waved my little finger in the air, wiping away the smirk on his face.
"Hey! no magic in the car" whined Nakuru.
I laughed for once that night and appeased her. It was all in good time too because we arrived at our final destination. My familiar gates loomed before us as Kaho wheeled the car in. She pulled up to the driveway in front of the doors and waited in the car as we unloaded. Syaoran marveled at the beauty of the place as each of us took some bags and headed on in.
Finally bringing in the last of the stuff we settled down in the living room. Nakuru and Spinel wrestled each other for the treats I had brought back from Japan.
"That's MY Pocky Suppiiiii!" screeched Nakuru.
"I don't see your name on it Nakuru-KUN!" he hissed as Nakuru gasped.
"What did I tell you about calling me a boy!?"
And they continued to snatch food from each other. I giggled watching them. "I brought plenty for the both of you, stop being silly in front of our guest" I reminded them cheerfully.
They stopped in mid-motion as they remembered that we were not exactly alone. Syaoran sat on the couch sweat-dropping with a goofy expression on his face. Nakuru and Spinel shrank into a corner.
"We'll behave.." they chorused.
Kaho took the opportunity to break the silliness.
"So.. Li-kun, what brings you here?" she asked almost on purpose.
Syaoran grew tense as he wrung his hands together. "I..I..was" he began.
"I invited him." I finished for him.
Kaho eyed me curiously.
"I wanted to show him the country I talked so much about. I saw no harm in bringing him here for a while." I continued, but I could tell from Syaoran's hurt expression that he had meant to tell them about us.
I was so sorry I couldn't be more honest, but this was not the time to do it. He turned his gaze away.
"Oh I see, so I suppose you wont be able to stay long then, what a shame!" she said almost tauntingly.
"Yes, it is a shame.." he replied dejectedly.
God how I hated disappointing him. The emotional pain he probably felt stabbed at my heart repeatedly. I wanted to reach out and comfort him. But I couldn't do it right now. I had to resolve things privately first.
Kaho continued her keen assault.
"So the school back home wont miss you while you are here? You're family knew you were coming I suppose?"
Syaoran shifted uncomfortably in his chair.
"Actually.." he hung his head slightly not knowing how to answer the question.
"Liiiiii-kun!" exclaimed Nakuru jumping out of her corner and latching onto the bewildered boy.
"I know! It's such a nice day! you still haven't seen any of the sites around here, oh you will like it! Can't stay cooped up in here all day!" she rambled excitedly dragging the lad along behind her.
"Thank you..Nakuru" I whispered mentally.
"You sooo owe me for this!" she retorted psychically and with that I was left with Spinel and Kaho.
"Well, I suppose I will get started on dinner for tonight." said Spinel sneaking off as quickly as possible.
Kaho stood up silently and walked towards the fireplace. Above the mantel was a large portrait of Clow, and she stood observing it.
I made my way next to her.
"I've been meaning to ask you for a while now.." she began, "have you decided to grow out of your body naturally or just return to your true form?..Clow.."
I sighed at the question that I knew had been coming for a while now, and winced at the name she called me.
"I have decided to age out of it naturally." I replied firmly.
"I see.." she sighed.
We stood there for what seemed like hours until finally she spoke out again.
"May I ask why? Eriol?"
I had to think about a constructive way of putting this, I couldn't just declare my love for Syaoran outright just yet.
"My powers are not what they used to be and I don't feel apt enough to change my appearance just yet, besides this body is..fun." I gulped.
Kaho was too keen to accept a simple answer like that.
"Liar.." she said turning away from the portrait and heading back to her chair where she glared at me intently.
It was like she was trying to study my soul and feelings. I wouldn't let her invade me that way.
It was time I got a few things off my chest.
"Kaho..you always stare at that painting of Clow on the mantel, tell me why?" I inquired.
"It is your true form after all, I long to see it someday." she replied.
"Do you love me?" I asked.
She was taken momentarily by the question.
"You know you don't need to ask me that." she said.
"No..I believe I do, I need to hear your answer, your true answer. Do you love me?" I repeated.
"Of course..always and forever" she smiled.
"Me?..or Clow?" I muttered coldly.
Her mouth hung slightly at that question, like she wanted to say something but it wouldn't come out. She caught herself easing up and leaning her head sideways, studying me.
"Why would there be a difference?" she questioned.
That remark hit me hard. It seemed after all this time my suspicions about her were true. She saw me and Clow as the exact same thing, it's like she wanted Clow himself to be with her. But I am not Clow, I am only his memories and power, I might eventually grow to look like him, but even that I don't know for sure. I wanted to be a normal boy, I wanted to be loved for who I am, not who I might be or who I was. That was the difference between Syaoran and Kaho. Syaoran understood, he has my blood after all, of course he understood. He didn't care that I was rich, that I was one of the most powerful magicians on earth, that the same distant blood coursed through our veins. Kaho was filled with illusion and hope. A false hope.
"Eriol" blurted Spinel from a doorway, "Nakuru is on the phone, she says she needs your permission for something at the park." he finished as he headed back to his duties.
I turned to where Kaho had been sitting, to excuse myself from our conversation, but she was already gone. Picking up my coat I headed towards the park in a hurry. When I got there Nakuru was leaning against a tree waiting for me. I searched desperately for Syaoran with my eyes, and he was sitting a short distance away on a bench. I strolled over to Nakuru.
"So how did it go?" I asked.
"Your friend is no fun." she said sticking out her tongue.
"He used to be wild, loud and rowdy!..but he is a lot different from what I remember him being." she said grinning adoringly in his direction.
"It seems you have the power to completely change the people you love, Eriol" she teased.
I grinned, proud that my creation was so keen under that silly exterior of hers.
"I knew what you were up to from the moment you introduced him to us at the airport, you looked at him with the gentlest eyes I have yet to see." she continued.
"He is a keeper, but have you told Kaho your feelings yet?" she asked.
This is why she was my guardian. She knew when to be carefree and hyper but she also had a surprisingly observant side which provided me with reason.
"I plan to, tonight, now that I have realized her true feelings." I replied.
She smiled and skipped around me reverting to her cocky self just then.
"Ooo I should leave you two love birds alone then" she said winking.
"Go, go make up!" she coaxed nudging me towards the bench.
I smiled, "Thank you Nakuru.."
She shrugged, "What are false-form, ultra-cute guardians for?" and with that said, she skipped away.
"I'll meet you at the house!" she mused.
I approached the serious figure haunched over on the bench. He turned towards me when he saw me drawing near.
"Eriol.." he said glumly.
"Syaoran.." I replied.
We sat for a few minutes listening to the wind and watching the leaves dance by us.
"Your country is beautiful Eriol, I don't understand a word of what people say, but it is charming." he claimed staring at the view.
I took one of his hands in mine.
"I'm sorry Syaoran, I couldn't tell her about us until I had figured out her true intentions towards me. I'm sorry I put you through that type of interrogation, but I'm sure she was wary of the situation and grew defensive."
I paused for a second as I studied his unchanging face.
"But it's ok though, because I know her delusions so my choice is easy now, it wont be long.."
And then he interrupted me.
"Easy?..So what if she had told you she loved you, and only you and that she didn't care who you were or what you will be? Then what? Who would you choose?" he blurted, his voice growing shaky.
It's true I hadn't thought deeply enough about that, I couldn't love two people. I gazed in his glossy eyes. He looked so worried, so hopeless, so beautiful.
"I love you" I stated, surprised at how quickly the words escaped me.
The tears dropped from his eyes as he lunged himself at me. He didn't care if we were in public, and neither did I.
"I could never bear losing you Syaoran, I gave you up to someone else long ago, I wont do it again. I love you!" I repeated myself gripping him tightly as if he would melt through my fingers.
The sun set that afternoon bringing a night rain that washed away all our doubts.
~*~
We burst through the door of my mansion laughing and stumbling as if we had been drunk. In reality we were soaked and tired from trying to escape the rains and laughing because we were happy and free. We staggered directly to the lit fireplace to warm up. I held his hands in my own, rubbing and blowing on them to bring back their color. We continued giggling our heads off as we huddled together, dripping wet by the fire. Nakuru came up hastily and offered us some towels, but her face was littered with anxiety.
"You better have a good explanation for getting home so late and soaked! In fact, you better hide 'cause you knew you could have called to be picked up instead of running home." she rebuked.
"I've been hounded all night, you better take care of this problem soon." she warned.
Then just as quickly she scurried away when the shadow of the resident female loomed over towards us.
"You're finally home Eriol." remarked a serious Kaho.
Spinel floated over. Perhaps Nakuru had told him the situation because he diverted Syaoran's attention by telling him that food was ready. I gave him a reassuring nod letting him leave my side. I had to deal with this alone.
~*~
I finished drying up and slid my glasses off. Kaho was outside on the balcony of her room watching the twinkling stars. I joined her outside, taking up the cold night air.
"You really do love him, don't you?" she exhaled.
I grinned at the thought of his eyes, which twinkled as brightly as the stars we were viewing.
"With all my heart" I responded.
She sighed hanging her head slightly.
"I suppose there is no way I can change your mind?" she questioned.
"It's my heart you would have to change." I replied gently.
"So your decision is final." she told herself.
"It is." I continued.
We were silent for a moment in parallel thought.
"I know you told me once a long time ago 'How things will turn out in the end I still don't know' and you were worried about Sakura's happy ending. I confessed myself to you that day but, thinking back, you never really returned my sentiments. I guess I must have been fooling myself all along, hoping a day like this would never come." she confessed her voice wavering.
"Look at me, what a silly mess!" she laughed painfully, "All this time I had been the one breaking relationships off and starting new ones, it figures my turn to be dumped would come one day."
"Kaho.." I whispered not knowing how to calm the loss she was feeling, but it had to be done.
She turned to me and knelt down taking my hands in hers, almost like a deja-vu, except this time it wasn't joy in her eyes, but tears.
"Do me one last favor, Eriol." she pleaded sternly.
"If you have ever felt something for me, even a little, just please do me this one last thing." she said.
"Anything.." I replied.
"Wipe the memory of our life together up to this point, completely."
She smiled.
"I'm afraid I will never stop loving the man you could have been, the man I wish you were. So, to help my situation, I only ask that you do this for me, so that I may love you as a son, as family. And this way you can live out your life in peace..and I can stop living with the illusion of something that will never be."
I reached up and touched her cheek with my hand.
"I can be happy just knowing, we met." she finished and I smiled at the incredible sacrifice she was taking.
"As you wish.." I complied, and she closed her eyes, smiling and resting her cheek on my hand.
"You really were.. an incredible person, Kaho" I said softly, "Thank you".
Her body began to glow and she slumped against me as she lost consciousness.
"In the morning, you will awake as a new person." I recited carrying her into the room and placing her on her bed.
"You can come out now Syaoran." I smirked.
"GACK!" uttered the wolf behind the door before falling over.
I giggled as I leaped over to help pick him up. I held him in my arms.
"You heard the whole thing didn't you?" I quizzed.
"Ehehe.. how did you...?" he stuttered.
"I felt your presence behind that door a loooong time ago love." I mused.
"Should have known there is no hiding from you." he pouted sticking out his tongue.
"You are such a tease!" I tackled him to the floor.
"Hey! I just got up!" he protested as my hands restrained him.
I bent down and shut him up by hogging his mouth with my own. We laughed.
"There is no sweeter way to make you stop rambling!".
We picked ourselves up and headed for the couch in the living room, by the fireplace.
"Did you really mean everything you told her back there?" Syaoran asked once we had settled ourselves comfortably.
My head rested on his chest and I rolled over slightly to face him.
"Every word of it.." I smiled reaching up to meet his lips again.
"I don't know if I should be happy or confused?" remarked a wide-eyed Spinel.
"Don't be so loud, Suppi or they will hear us! Besides I think it's sooo cute!!!" squealed Nakuru as quietly as she could.
"Now who is being loud?" retaliated the little flying black cat.
Nakuru growled stretching his face.
"Nakuru! Spinel!..go to bed!" I yelled from the across the room.
"Awww they heard us!" whined Nakuru.
"It's all your fault you noisy little boy you!" taunted Spinel.
"WHAT did you call ME?!" she screeched and I smiled as they argued their way upstairs.
I gazed back at my love, as I nestled closer. Tomorrow was a new day, a new life and a new beginning.
~ Owari
