This is crack. Pure and utter crack. Fair warning.
- o – o -
"—Better yet, march into the compound at the head of a Brewfest oompah band! This is a stealth mission, Champion! STEALTH!"
The Champion blinked and stared at the outraged mage before turning to look at the remains of the goblin glider they had planned on riding – because aerial assaults were so common here – into the compound. A slow, evil-looking grin spread across their face.
"…Why are you smiling like that?"
"Archmage Khadgar," the Champion said sweetly, "have I ever told you how utterly smart and creative you are?"
The Archmage blinked rapidly, confusion evident on his face. "No. The last time I suggested you take a task, you told me to do several things that are anatomically impossible. And in several creative ways. I've never heard anyone suggest… Well… I've never considered that the Orcs even had a word for that."
The Champion flipped their hand at the archmage and blew a raspberry at him. "Forget that! …and that word," they added. "I know exactly how I'm going to get into the compound! Thank you!"
The archmage watched as the Champion retreated from the outcropping outside the compound and wondered if it was too late to find a safer way for them to get into the compound.
Knowing the Champion, it probably was.
- o – o -
Archmage Khadgar resisted the urge to beat his head against the rocks. His plan had been brilliant, thank you. It was perfect! And then he'd tried to give it to the Champion and they'd tried to glide into the compound. He'd thought that would be the end of it, but no. They'd taken his rather sarcastic suggestion to heart, and not only had they returned with the Brewfest oompah band, they'd brought Brewfest with them too.
On the other hand, it seemed to be working. That was the sad part. He'd been sarcastic, and it was working. He sighed and accepted the mug of beer – and the papers wrapped around it – from a far too gleeful looking Champion.
"Try not to tear those pages," the Champion whispered. "I had to give the guards a cask of whiskey to get it. My last cask of whiskey. From Pandaria."
Well, if it worked, it worked.
…Right?
- o – o -
Based on this quote from the mission:
Archmage Khadgar yells: Are you crazy, launching yourself into the air like that! Why not just send Gul'dan a telegram? Better yet, march into the compound at the head of a Brewfest oompah band. This is a stealth mission, name! Stealth!
