A/N: Well, this was bount to happen sooner or later. I've been on such a One Piece craze as of late, I'm amazed it didn't happen earlier. I was catching up on old episodes for the sake of posterity when it hit me; gee, I wonder what it would be like to see Naruto characters in this universe? Not replacing Luffy or anything-Aa if such an thing could possibly happen!-but simply existing in this universe as One Piece versions of themselves all the same. This is the result of that thought. I swear if I write another new story without updating Imma chop my hand off! ARGH! Well, now that I've wasted five minutes of your time with this innane rant of mine...
...HERE YOU GO!
"Wanna turn the world upside down with me?"
~?
A Boy in a Barrel
It all began with a barrel.
He'd fallen asleep staring at the clouds again; this time, on a muggy saturday afternoon. Summer had the town in its crushing grip; a terrible heat wave having forced everyone but himself and the sailors of a merchant ship indoors to keep cool. There was little else he liked to do in this sleepy village but nap. It was either that or watch the clouds float on by; because he swiftly grew bored with everything else. He liked to think himself a decent mapmaker and even on his worst day he could read all but the most ferocious of weather patterns. Today though...something didn't feel right. He couldn't focus on the clouds, so he opted to take a nap instead in the hopes that whatever was troubling him would soon pass.
Some claimed he'd eatern a devil fruit; how else could a young man of seventeen years read the weather without so much as backward glance? Nothing could be further from the truth. It was simply a tallent of his, one he would occasionally put to use to make a quick berri on the side. More often that not, he simply used it to watch the clouds. He just knew when something was coming, that was all.
His mother often chastised him for this so-called "lazziness", but in truth, Shikamaru Nara, much like his old man-kami rest his soul-was exceptionally brilliant. He'd bested some of the best minds in shogi and straetegy the world over; some even sought compare him to the genuis scientist, Vegapunk. But Shikamaru was no scientist. He couldn't tell a beaker from a teacup. He was simply a brilliant navigator, albeit a lazy one. And that was where the trouble lay. The navy, having heard of his renowned genius, wanted to recruit. In fact, they'd tried him on more than one occasion. But taking orders and scrubbing floors just wasn't Shikamaru's style; in his mother's mind it might be, but not his! Troublesome. Sooner or later, they wouldn't take no for an answer. What would he do then, he wondered? He didn't like the navy. They prattled on about justice and all, which was good, but when push came to shove, they really had their own interests in mind.
Still, he almost wished something would happen in this sleepy little town every now and again. Something that didn't involve the marines trying to cotow him into service, or his mother nagging at him; trying to get him to make something of his life. No, it had to be something different. Something exciting. Something like...
Ba-dump!
The sound of something heavy struck the ground with a muffled whump, waking him with a start.
Ugh, be careful what you wish for...
"Shit this thing is heavy!" one of the merchant's groaned.
"What the hell's in there?! Lead?"
"Don't ask me! You're the one who found it!"
"Hmm?"
He creaked an eye open, mildly amused to find a pair of portly-looking men struggling with one of their barrels. Damn but the thing looked like it had seen better days. Although it was large -larger even than even who carried it- it looked as though it had been through hell. Unfortunately, or fortunately as he would later reflect some years later, his curiousity got the better of Shikamaru this time, today. Dusting off his dark slacks and brushing a hand against his faded green vest, the youth rose from his place amongst the tarps and approached said men and their barrel. His open-toed sandals clicked quietly against the dock, the two men didn't even seem to notice him until he called out to them.
"Having trouble?"
"What does it look like?!" One of them growled. "We found this damn thing in the water and its...heavy!"
In a rare lapse of character, he offered to lend the men a hand with their ridiculous heavy payload.
"Want me to open it?" he asked.
"Please!"
"Sure thing." Snatching up a nearby crowbar from where it lay, he approached them, twirling it expertly from his fingers. "Just stand back a bit." Leaning over the worn container, he began to pry it open. It was actually quite stiff at first, the water-logged wood refusing to give way despite his bests efforts to pry it open. Inch by inch, he was able to force the crowbar beneat the rim and slowly, surely, it began to yield...
"Stubborn little...
That was when all hell broke loose.
Scarce had he begun to wrest the lid away than his hackles bristled; the hairs on the back of his neck standing at attention in anticipation of some unseen threat. What in the-? His senses screamed a warning as a soft, distant keening sound reached his ears. It sounded like...someone screaming? He risked a glance upward and nearly froze. What was that speck on the horizon? Oi oi...
Move!
The Nara flung himself backward and not a moment too soon; because someone very large and very heavy came crashing facefrst into the place he'd just vacated. The two men who'd been hauling the barrel...were not so fortunate. Had they been swifter to move they might've escaped. As it were they were crushed beneath the woman's weight. Because this was no mere cannonball that had come crashing down from the heavens, as the lazy genius looked on, as he peered into the smoke that had spread from the impact, he realized he was looking at a person.
"That damn Strawhat!" A voice hissed from within the cloud of dust. "How dare he send me flying!" Its owner waddled out of the smock with thick footsteps, cursing angrily all the while. "I'll kill him!"
Shikamaru found himself face to face with a large, corpulent woman, wearing-of all things-a white cowboy hat. He'd seen her fat, freckled face many a time; strewn on wanted posers halfway across the East Blue. A pit of dread opened in his stomach. This woman was "Iron Mace" Alvida, a woman with a bounty of five million berri on her head! What the devil was she doing here in this sleepy little town?! He began to hedge backwards to where he'd left his knives at the pier, but it was already too late.
"Oi, gaki!" She thrust her mace at Shikamaru. "Where the hell am I?!"
'Shit!'
Shikamaru froze. His brilliant brain was already hard at work; he knew he could take this woman easily once he got his weapons back. Now...he just needed to figure out how to get to his knives, before she swiped him with that massive mace of hers. Only a monster could survive a hit from that thing!
"Well, thats...
Clank!
A harsh thud reverberated through the dock. Miracuously, the barrel had survived the woman's impact. Now, it began to move.
"The barrel?"
As he looked on, the barrel-with the crowbar still stuck in it-began to move. It bucked and battered as though someone-or something-were actually trapped inside. Both pirate and genius balked at it in surprise. Balked, as the lid flew skyward, parting before a pair of armored fists.
"ORA!"
Suddenly, and without warning, a young man burst out of the barrel; exploding forth in a shower of splinters and timbre with a cry that could wake the dead.
As if that weren't exceptional enough, there was the matter of his attire. The boy from the barrel wasn't exactly tall nor did he seem intimidating per se, but there was something about him that instantly set Shikamaru on edge. A bright orange coat-orange of all things?!-emblazoned with dark flames hung over his shoulders like a mantle or some sort of jacket; almost obscuring the light teal vest he wore beneath. Dark slacks draped well pasts the youth's ankles, cutting of just above a pair of viscious-looking black combat boots.
Boots that now stepped out of the barrel, their owner wresting himself free of the barrel's remains as easily as one would tear through a paper bag. The youth stretched out his arms and yawned, wide enough to put a hole in the ozone layer.
"Aaaaaah," he sighed. "What a nice nap-hmm?"
He frowned, bright blue eyes regarding the scene before him with confusion. Brushed a hand through the shaggy mop of blond that was his hair. "Nani?" He blinked once, twice, thrice, his eyes fluttering open and shut with all the rapidity of a hummingbird's wingspan. "Where am I?" He blinked at Alvida. "Who's the old hag?"
Alvida bristled.
"Hag?!"
The blonde ignored her, turned his attention to Shikamaru. He brightened.
"Ah!" He grinned. "It's you! Thanks for fishing me out of that damned barrel!" He clasped his hands together and bowed. "Arigatou!" Shikamaru was inclined to reply that he hadn't been the one to do anything, but he seriously doubted the blond would believe him.
"Um...just who are you?"
"Oh, my bad." The young man grinned and slapped his whiskered cheeks. "I'm Uzumaki D. Naruto. Nice ta meetcha!"
D?
Shikamaru blinked in surprise, his attention momentarily taken by the tattoo on Naruto's right arm.
Carved in the distinct likeness of a grinning fox, the skull leered at him, shrouded in what might've been flames. Nine tails of pure crimson were wrapped around the crossbones; winding their way into the kitsune's teeth in an eerie semblance of cannibalism. It almost looked as though the fox was devouring itself. And that grin! Even as Naruto blinked at him in confusion, he couldn't help but derive a small sound of dismay at the sight of it. This guy was...was...
"You're a pirate?"
"Yup." Naruto nodded, blisffully ignorant of the Nara's dismay. "Although...my ship was sunk by a Sea King." He laughed as though the idea of nearly being devoured actually amused him. "Man, that bastard really did startle me! I barely had enough time to stuff myself into this barrel! But putting that aside, I've got a question for ya!" His grin grew. "You wouldn't know how ta steer a ship by any chance, would ya?"
Shikamaru blinked in surprise.
"As a matter of fact...I do."
"That's great!" Naruto slapped him on the back, heedless of Alvida glowering behind him. "What's your name?"
...Shikamaru."
"That's a fine name!" Impossibly, Naruto's grin grew. "I think we were destined to meet, Shikamaru!"
"Destined?"
"Ya wanna join my crew and turn the world upside down with me?"
"Huh?!" This time, there could be no concealing his disbelief. "Crew? Turn the world upside down?! What are you, insane or something?!"
"Well of course!" Naruto laughed. "If I'm going to the grand line, then I'll need a crew! Someone who knows how to steer a ship, like you! And a cook, a musician and oh-
"Kono-!"
Alvida's mace barreled into the blonde's face, crushing cartilege and bursting cappillaries before he had time to blink. Sudden and unexpected, the strike sent Naruto sprawling backwards in a tangled clash of arms and limbs, launching him across to the dock to slam facefirst, his body buried in a pile of crates. He did not rise. A flyer fluttered out of his breast pocket.
"That's what you get for ignoring me!" Alvida cackled. "Repent for your crimes in hell, you bastard!"
Shikamaru facepalmed.
"That idiot...
"Now," The mace-bearing woman growled, "Where were we-
"Oi oi oi oi...
A splintering of wood cut off whatever else the woman might've said. A streak of orange and black erupted from the debris, rubble seeming to swirl around it like a thing alive. Shikamaru couldn't help but sweatdrop as Naruto exploded from the cloud, eyes narrowed in aggravation, covered in dust and dirst, but otherwise unharmed. The only real sign of injury was his nose; it had been twisted-broken-by the mace. Really, if anything, the blond looked more pissed than injured.
"Ow!" He cried, rubbing at the broken cartilege. "What the hell was that for, you old bag?! Ya ruined my speech! I was just about to ask him to be my nakama and everything!"
Shikamaru felt his jaw drop to the floor.
"ARE YOU EVEN HUMAN?!"
Naruto tilted his head aside.
"What kind of question is that?"
The spiky-haired man heaved a sigh of relief. That's right. This guy was normal. He had to be-
"Of course I'm not human!"
"OI!"
"I-Impossible!" the Alivda gawped, she could actually see cracks in her mace where she'd struck the blond; several of the spikes had crumbled simply from striking his skull. "I've shattered entire faces with this thing! It doesn't make any sense! How could you-
"Oi oi," Naruto reared his head to look at her. "Just because you're strong...doesn't make me weaker now, does it?" Grunting, he flipped to his feet, reached hand up to his broken nose, snapped it back into place. "Ah!" He sighed. "That really did hurt, ya know! I'll be sure to pay you back for that!" He dipped a hand into the pouches located at his waist; emerging with two deadly pronged kunai. Without pause or warning he flung one of them at Alvida, the deadly knife whistling towards her unprotected face.
"As if that would hit me!" the portly woman deflected it with her mace, sending the knife skittering away across the deck; failing to notice the letters as they faded into existence upon her weapon several seconds after the fact. Shikamaru did not. There, in bright white kanji, what looked like some sort of symbol had been inked on her mace. But what could it-
Naruto grinned toothily as he clutched his remaining knife. "It's not supposed to hit you bakaaaa~."
"Brat!"
Her mace swept through the empty air of an afterimage.
"Over here!"
Naruto whispered into existence behind her, grinning from ear to ear. Shikamaru balked. When had he gotten back there?
"Insolent little-
Alvida whirled to strike at him again. Naruto's hand locked around her wrist like a vice, holding her fast. The portly woman shrieked and struggled against him, but to no avail; she was forced to stare into the blood-red eyes of her agressor. "Let go!" She roared, spitting in his face. Naruto frowned, His fingers biting down with superhuman strength, eliiciting a yelp as they crushed the bone beneath, hairline fractures etching across the length of her wrist.
"Get your filthy hands off of me, you damn-oof!
Naruto said nothing, but he struck like a serpent, yelling his fury and giving his body the sharp countertwist that made his kicks so blindingly fast and powerful. Even Shikamaru who was looking straight at him, barely saw the strike. Naruto's shin crackled through the air and crushed against Alvida's face. Crushed it, inward. The crunching squish of her nose being obliterated split the sudden silence and then she was gone; tumbling head over heels across the street like a flopping fish, flipping forward into and then through the unprepared wall of a neary shop.
"Strike!" Naruto laughed, lowering his leg to punch at the air with a defiant fist. He retrieved his discarded weapon and returned it to its holster, grinning all the while. Then he saw the extent of the damage done to the shop and he went pale. "Ahahaha...well at least I didn't destroy the whole building-
The rest of the store promptly collapsed.
"Gah!" he cried!
'He really isn't human!' Shikamaru almost cried out, such was his disbelief. Naruto wasn't even fretting over the destruction he'd accidentally wrought; he didn't even bother to apologize! If anything, he seemed almost satisfied with his work.
"Ahahaha...I'll have to pay for the damages when I get some money...
The sound of rubble shifting returned his attention to the one-sided battle; Alvida had begun to drag herself from the ruined shop, coughing and hacking and weezing in despair. She'd lost her cowboy had somewhere in the debris and most of her jacket was ripped, exposing skuff marks and unsightly rolls of fat. Shikamaru made a squelching sound of disgust. "Uck!" He felt ill just by looking at her!
"Unforgivable!" Alvida raged! "Absolutely un-freakin' forgivable! You little shit! I'll pulp your brains out on the pavement!"
"Come and get me then, fatty!" Naruto stuck out his tongue.
Shikamaru winced in the same instant that Alvida's face flushed a livid crimson. A low blow. His best friend Chouji hated being called fat when they were kids. It seemed Alvida share the sentiment. Steam exploded out of her nostrils, a veritable bull seeing crimson.
"Fatty?!"
He skipped backwards as her mace mashed the portion of street he'd just occuppied. Shikamaru watched him retreat, heard him laugh as Alvida charged after him, swinging her mace like a reckless child. What the hell was he trying to do by riling her up like this? That was when it struck him, in the same instant that the woman's mace smashed harmessly against Naruto's arm. He was toying with her. He could've easily taken her out with another of those fearsome kicks of his, but he didn't. Instead he continued to zig and zag out of her line of sight, forcing her to expend precious energy, whilst he himself remained fresh as a daisy.
Finally, once she'd exhausted herself, he ceased his retreat.
"You...brat!" She rasped out, gasping for breath. "Why can't I hit you?!"
"It's no use," Naruto sighed, raising his remaining knife. "At your current level...you're not even a warm up."
"Y-You...!"
"It's over."
Without a word or warning, the boy's entire body seemed to flicker; one minute he was there, the next, he wasn't. Alvida had just enough time to gasp as he whispered into existence in front of her; crouched low to the ground, fingers clenched around a spiraling sphere of the color of aternoon skies. It seemed to grow larger within his palm as he held it; as though it were actively seeking release from his grasp. The overweight woman seemed to know it as well; she drew back in vain as the blonde pounced up at her.
"What?!"
"That was Hiraishin." Naruto beamed brightly as he brought his armed arm backwards. "And this is...
"RASENGAN!"
Shikamaru gawped as Naruto slammed the spiralling sphere into the woman's gut with all the force of a typhoon. The sphere itself ground into Alvida's stomach, expanding upon contact with her skin; lifting the obeise woman from her feet as if she weighed no more than a rag doll. "Go flying!" Naruto roared, thrusting the sphere deeper, plunging the sphere through layer upon layer of fat to strike at the muscle beneath. Within only a few seconds "Iron Mace" Alvida was a mere pinprick on the horizon, hurtling back out to sea from whence she'd come.
"Gyahahaha!" Naruto whistled as he watched her fly. "That was perfect, ya know!"
Shikamaru was left aghast. He'd heard of devil fruit users, but he never thought he'd meet one face to face. Because that was what Naruto had to be. No one should be that fast; or be capable of turning their own inner energy into a weapon of mass destruction. No one! Numbed, he quietly collected his knives from where he'd left them and jammed them into the sheathes at his hip. Somehow, he doubted the weapons would be of any real use against someone like Naruto, but he felt safer having his mentor's tools at hand.
"H-H-How the hell did you do that back there?" he asked. "I couldn't even see you move!"
Naruto tilted his head.
"How else!" He laughed, childish in his delight. "I ate the Thunder God fruit, just like my old man! It's only natural that I'm fast! So whaddya say? Wanna be my nakama?"
Shikamaru blinked.
"Come again?"
"Didn't I tell you?" Naruto laughed. "I'm looking for people to join my pirate crew." Slowly, he began to count off his hand. "I think about twenty should do it, ya know? Oh, I mean nineteen. Because you're going to be my navigator. Although I still need a first mate...
Naruto looked at him expectantly.
"I refuse!" Shikamaru snapped! "You want me to become a bad guy? How troublesome...
Naruto blinked owlishly.
"Whats wrong with being a pirate?"
"Pirates are scum! Who would want to be one?!"
Naruto raised his hand.
"BESIDES YOU!"
"C'mon now, does it really matter?" the fruit user pointed a finger to his chest. "You don't look like you have anything better to do."
"Th-That doesn't mean I have to join you!"
"You're right!" The thunderman slapped a fist into his palm. "We need a ship first!" He scanned the harbor, his gaze alighting upon the very same merchant ship upon which Shikamaru had been napping. It was a small vessel all things considered, equipped with only a small sail to catch the wind. "Oh!" He grinned. "That looks like a good one for now!" Before Shikamaru could think to stop him Naruto was gone; vanishing in an orange flash in his peripheals, scrambling up the rigging like a monkey in a tree.
Even as the lazy genius walked after him the blonde was in motion, inspecting the sails, the rigging, the stern, all in the span of a few seconds thanks to the myriad powers of his fruit. He could hear the boy chattering aimlessly as he darted this way and that, heedless of the chaos he left in his wake.
"Hmm...she's small but it looks like she can endure a storm if ya handled it right." Naruto halted abruptly, thumbing his chin as he looked back at the disbelieving genius. "It's perfect for us to set sail in, Shikamaru! Ah, and look! It's even got a kitchen!" The Nara barely darted out of the way when Naruto dived past him again, jolting forward into the inner rooms. Seconds later, an exultant cry echoed up from the bowels of the ship. "I can't believe it! There's a cabin! An actual captain's cabin! Ands its fool of food! This ship is perfect! Although we'll eventually need a bigger one...yosh! That settles it! We'll set sail today!"
"Us? Set sail? Don't decided for me!" Shikamaru unconciously jammed a hand into the pocket of his trousers. "Why should I join you?"
"Didn't I already tell you?" Naruto's head poked out of the cabin, grinning from ear to ear. "To turn the world upside down! For romance and adventure! What better reason does a man need these days, eh? Alright, lets set sail!"
Without the wind to warn him, Shikamaru found himself nearly bowled over as the self-titled captain zipped past him for the third and final time. Groaning, he picked himself up off the floor and followed outside, just in time to see Naruto take out a knife. He immediately put two and two together, just as the blond began sawing at the anchor line. He was going to take the ship out right here and now!
Oi!
"Stop!" Shikamaru shouted, scrambling down the gangway after him. "You can't take this one!"
"Heh?" Naruto blinked, paused, his knife still poised to cut the rope. "Why not?"
"Because," The genius faltered, unwilling to admit that this was his favorite place to take a nap when his mother was nagging him. Already he was grasping at straws, desperately seeking some reason-any reason-to try and dissuade the coniving blond from snatching the ship out of the harbor and getting into kami-knew-what kind of trouble on the seas. In the end, he settled for the obvious answer.
"Because its not yours!"
"I'm a pirate!" Naruto stuck out his tongue. "That doesn't matter to me!"
"But-
"And I don't have to listen to you, bleh!"
"Aaargh!"
This guy was ridiculous! Exactly like his old man! Shikaku Nara had gone out to sea when Shikamaru was five years old, and they hadn't heard from him since. Most-including Shikamaru-assumed he'd perished on the seas, but there were times when he could've sworn his old man was still alive. It had always been a dream of his to track down his father and drag him back home, if only to placate his mother. There was that, and his real dream; to prove to the world that he wasn't lazy, that he could make a name for himself if he tried.
But Naruto didn't have to know about that dream now, did he?
"I don't care what society says." he grumbled. "Your kind is the worst! The absolute worst! You do whatever you want and don't regret anything You know what? Fine!" He shoved Naruto backwards with an effort. "Get out of here! Go out to sea and do as you please!"
"Is that so?" Naruto grinned as he brought the knife to bear on what precious little remained of the rope. "But I've already decided that you'll join me." He sliced through that cord in a swift, decisive movement, ending their discsussion. Freed from its tether, the boat began to drift from the dock, carried out to see by the ocean current. "C'mon! Lets set sail!"
"Dont decide that by yourself!"
Laughing, Naruto hopped onto the stern of the boat. Already the current was beginning to carry it past the dock; soon no one would be able to reach it.
"Will you die of boredom here, or come join me on adventure, Shikamaru?" He shouted. "Which will you choose?!"
Shikamaru dithered a moment longer before deciding. It was true that his mother was always pestering him to do something with his life...but this? This was insane! One look at Naruto told him the boy was absolutely serious; he was setting sail, with or without him. If he stayed in this town he was liaible to end up just like his father or worse; join the marines simply because he had nothing else to do! So appalling was this thought that he actually found himself seriously considering the pirate's offer.
He was running almost before he even realized it.
"Hurry up!" Naruto shouted. "You can make it!"
"I don't want to hear that from you, blackmailer!" Shikamaru shouted. He leapt long and high, clearing the dock in a single bound. His landing, however, wasn't anywhere near as graceful; his foot touched off the hull, leaving him pinwheeling, toppling backwards toward the waters of the bay. Shit, he swore! I'm going to fall! I'm going to-? Strong fingers wrapped around the Nara's forearm, dragging him the rest of the way onto the ship. Deprived of his balance, the genius toppled forward, his visage greeting the deck with a resounding thud.
"Ugh," he groaned, picking himself up. "You're the son of the devil, you know that, right?"
Naruto laughed as the genius hauled himself to his feet.
"How rude!" He grinned a ferocious grin, clasped his offer hand, and shook. "But close enough. I'm the son of Namikaze Minato, after all!"
There was a silence as his words sank in. Shikamaru blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice, as the gears of his mind struggled to turn, working ferverishly to process this new information. The words left his lips in a small squeak of surprise. It sounded a great deal like:
"Ha?!"
A/N: Godamnit! I couldn't help myself! This was bound to happen! I'm still going to update the rest of my one piece and other works, but when this idea reared its head, I simply couldn't help but write it! Now, where are they headed next! That's up to you! I hope you liked Naruto's devil fruit!
As a note, Luffy and co. still exist and the events of the manga will STILL happen, this is merely a tall of what has happening nearby while our infamous Mugiwara was out living the life of a pirate! there will be some similarities to the trials Luffy and co. suffer sometimes, but for the most part, this is an original story. But that's where I'll be needing a bit of help from you guys and gals. WHO THE DEVIL SHOULD BE IN NARUTO'S CREW?! Shikamaru's obviously going to be the navigator but there's going to be a number of different characters onboard this fic! We still need a name for the ship, too! I was thinking...the Konoha? Yes? No?
Also, here's a glimpse at that wanted flyer Naruto was carrying around at the beginning of the story.
Minatao "Yellow Flash" Namikaze.
Bounty: 450,000,000 million berri.
Relatives: Uzumaki Naruto(Son) Uzumaki Kushina (Wife)
Status: Deceased.
So in the immortal words of Atlas...
...review, would you kindly?
