It's these hours of twilight. In the office, the too regular noises of coworkers preparing for leaving begin. Those who take the night-shift are still drinking coffee and enjoying the time before they have to go on with CCG business. He passes near the glassy wall, peers outside to the streetlamps waking up like lively eyes, to the magical pre-evening lights rising slowly like mechanic fireflies. Man-made, still heart-widening.

It's these hours he longs for her the most, without fully understanding why.

It's these moments he can't resist the urge to see her.

~ My eyes are blind gray now, to never see again

I've changed so much I can't even remember who I am

If I just tell myself my memories don't matter

I can smile with you without fear, nothing is better

Than to feel numb warmth of love, without blame ~

Disclaimer: Dear Ishida-sensei…You do your wonderful magic, and I'll just tell this electronic paper what my heart yearns the most…

ToKaSu (Unravel)

"Sorry, I need to complete some work tonight. It's the laundry night, isn't it…?" he smiled softly at his subordinate, eyes apologetically half-closed.

"Yeah, but we'd manage, Sassan" said Ginshi Shirazu, pulling on his coat without getting through the trouble of zipping it.

"Could you take care of Saiko? She haven't washed her underwear for a long while, she missed the previous laundry night after all."

"Yeah, had this super important game conference to attend. Honestly, you'd think a girl would be more aware of her dirty panties!" came Ginshi's usual grumpy reply.

"Well…" Haise said "Alright then. Mutsuki's probably waiting for you downstairs. He's the only one of us who took advanced laundry courses, so follow his instructions. Also, I left you some soup in the fridge. Do you think you'd manage to heat it up a bit without burning the house? Feed Saiko a bowl please, instead of her midnight snacks. It's dietetic as the doctor has ordered." Shirazu's smile grew wickeder more and more.

"You sound just like a mother-nurse working a night-shift." He stated calmly "Don't worry about such things, leave them to your squad leader and his first assistant."

When almost past the door, Haise heard him mumbling "Make her do the laundry and eat dinner...Rather impossible. I should get a raise just for trying!"

He sweatdropped a bit, and turned back to his computer screen. The quietest twilight hour has come.

# # #

Sasaki Haise is a CCG ghoul investigator. That aside, most of all he is just an investigator, and that means he is very meticulous and pedantic regarding his job. And his job is practically his life due to his extensive efforts to leave absolutely no speck of spare time, so he won't indulge himself in his past, his mostly demolished memories or any other thing his father figure Arima suggests he won't look into.

And so, he goes around full time schedule both in work and at home; being a mentor to the Qs group isn't an easy task whatsoever. He also manages to complete reading at least one book a week. He has four physical training sessions with his team every week. Most of his mornings are packed up with meetings with fellow investigators. So the afternoons are the perfect time to get some job done, complete a report here and there before heading home to four troublesome kids sometimes behaving worse the kindergarten brats…And we haven't talked about his cooking yet.

But even since two months ago, another thing has preoccupied him so much, it was turning into some kind of obsession already. The girl…The barista from that heaven-like coffee shop.

Kirishima Touka-san.

He's acquired any information he could have by now, without using (in his opinion) large-scale resources and most important: without her suspecting anything.

As a civil-military organization protecting humans, one of CCG's most important objectives is to isolate ghouls who have blended into society with minimum casualties. In order to complete such a task, they have many civic databases at their disposal. Sasaki Haise's rank grants access to most of them, save the medical and some high-classified ones. But most of them are open to his inquisitive eyes.

He came back to the café several times after his tearful incident, to spy around a bit. Most of all he was fascinated with the barista, who had angelic face features, the deepest amethyst eyes, the most gracious movements he'd ever seen, and the coffee she made him was perfection by any standards.

But she also had the saddest smile, a sorrowful hidden glance and a wisp of what felt like the edge of an iceberg of pain in those two velvet violet pools. And for some unreasonable reason, he just can't take it, not in over a million years could he just bypass this girl.

So, the outlining of his investigation is to figure out what could have possibly happened to this beautiful girl to make her smile so sad, to have these eyes contain so much hurt masked in politeness and customer-service influenced habits.

And though Haise would never admit such a thing, the most important outcome of the primary analysis should be a list of possible solutions and acts which he could perform to make the situation better, if not solve it completely, if not resulting in having her close…Closer to him…As close as possible, in his protecting arms.

Yes, you've guessed right; this is how guys like Haise treat this kind of situations. Almost zero to none experience in relationships with girls, but after consuming enough manga, watching enough romantic movies and reading enough classic romantic books, Haise pictures himself as the knight on the white horse, coming to save the pretty princess. The villain could be anything; even the metallic hot-hearted coffee machine! He, Sasaki Haise, is ready to fight whatever in order to…Well, in order to be with his fantasy he has of hers. Shouldn't be too difficult, ne? Baking Saiko a cake for birthday is far worse in any aspect, ne?

# # #

So he comes back to :re, at different times and at different circumstances over the last few weeks. He orders different types of coffee to judge her skills, and follows her around well-hidden behind an occasional book he borrows from the shelves. They contain an interesting variety of books and he finds himself drawn, most likely because his imagination pictures her reading each and every one of them, supposedly in bed at night.

She smiles sweetly to the customers (he feels a pinch of jealousy when she's around other guys), presents them their coffee with assortment of treats. Her patience seems to have no bottom when suggesting a book to an enthusiastic reader (such as himself!). She chats so freely with groups of girls ordering puffy-creamy drinks decorated with candies and wafers. She gives a child a pink lollipop and pulls out a picture book out of nowhere.

She is elegant, effective, and pleasant and…She passes near him on the way to take another order, of course giving him a smile. He smiles back but his heart drops. Why does she look this way when smiling to me?

# # #

"Good evening, Sasaki-san." She says leading him to his beloved spot near the counter. She wears a tight white blouse beneath her apron, and knee-length black skirt.

"Hello, Kirishima-san," he replies, taking off his coat. The twilight has faded to darkness, and here he is, desperately calculating what to do next.

"What would you like to drink today?" she inquires softly.

"An espresso, please." He answers after a quick glance at the menu.

He pulls out a random book from the nearby shelf, all this time focused on her beautiful hands, long slender fingers preparing his cup, pressing on the machine, stirring and mixing. Then she turns around and presents him the drink over a gray saucer. The contrast of the dishes with the rich brown-black of the coffee is trendy, and the scent alluring.

He smiles when she takes out a basket, filled with shaped chocolate treats. She does this sometimes, even though she knows by now he never eats them. She picks out one in a green-with-white-dots wrapping and places it gently near his cup. And that heart-melting smile…Wrapped in blue-with-sorrow-dots.

"Here you go, Sasaki-sensei." She says playfully, and is already taking her mini-tablet to go and take the next order for a group of college-girls.

He is numb. He can't speak. He wants to take her hands, kiss them, tell her nothing is worth feeling this way. Make her tell him why.

He manages to whisper "Thank you, Kirishima-san…" after her form as he traces his fingers on the warm espresso cup hesitatingly. It's too much to even describe in words.

# # #

The biography of Kirishima-san, composed by Sasaki Haise from data carefully gathered by him for some time now:

She is 20 years old college student, a second year in the prestige Kamii University, on a scholarship based program of biology studies. She graduated from a public high-school with sufficient grades.

She has classes during the day, so she works entirely the afternoon shifts.

The business is not registered under her name, but rather under her "Onii-san"'s. They took several loans to cover the expenses yet are doing fine, according to the financial records.

According to the DMV records she doesn't have a driver's license.

She lives just across the street, rents a room in a nice tidy building despite being old.

He found no relatives so far, and her "brother" is even more mysterious than her.

Medical records are not open to him without a special authorization. He contemplates; even submits her name in a file he hands to the investigation department just to get the chance to check them. Later he decides against it and withdraws.

It's impressive, this much information about her. Yet, there's nothing personal in there. Nothing emotional per se.

Nothing to explain what she sees that makes her eyes shadow with sorrow.

# # #

He pays couple of visits in the morning. She is not there, but her alleged brother is on duty. He is as professional as her, his coffee tasteful and aromatic, excellently brewed.

Sasaki considers himself a reassuring person. He tries to engage the old man in conversation. It seems he is really polite, so Haise tries to get to the main topic.

After mentioning the remarkable improvement of the weather, Haise inquires gently "Is something bothering Kirishima-san lately?"

When the "brother" simply stares, Haise smiles half-confidently "It seems she's troubled sometimes, I was wondering if…"

The old man hasn't said anything for a long time, just continued to gape.

"Ah, I didn't mean to be rude or…" Haise's words are cut short when the man places both hands on the counter, and leans forwards. His voice is quiet and stable when he says:

"I believe you are a nice guy, so I'm telling you in the straightest way I can."

Haise listens, mouth slightly agape.

"She's been through a lot after her parents died and her younger brother ran away without saying a word. Also, couple of years ago a very close friend of hers abandoned her and disappeared completely ever since." Haise heart contracted in his chest, never actually beating.

"You better keep your distance from her, for the sake of both of you."

Before Haise can even think about what to say, before he fully realizes, the man has already gone to take an order. Not a word was exchanged between them ever since.

# # #

Later that night, Haise rethinks again and again about his revelations.

Almost the worst case scenario. Second only to an abusive current relationship, maybe. He could have dealt with that in a blink of an eye.

Deceased relatives.

Runaway brother who cut his connections with her.

And then the icing on the cake: a boyfriend who left her behind, who turned his back on her abruptly and disappeared without a trace. His rival is a ghost.

Great.

# # #

He says he would bring coffee and pastries to their weekly meeting with Akira. He intends to buy them at some place he knows not so far from work. But somehow, he finds himself in front of :re.

It's an early morning, with the sunrise painting the clouds in pink-yellow uplifting shades. He peeks inside and to his surprise he sees her, wiping the counter and heating the coffee machine, wearing a nice navy dress under her trademark apron.

He runs away before she notices him, but comes back after ten minutes. Just when she flips the sign on the door and steps outside to place another sign there, he greets her with a bright "Good morning, Kirishima-san!"

She turns around, surprised to have customers this early.

"Oh, good morning, Sasaki-san." She replies with her best smile "Aren't you early today?"

"What about you?" he asks, and holds the door for her. She laughs "I have a break from studies today, and Onii-san said he has business to attend to, so I'm stepping up for him."

She leads him into the café without turning around and takes her place behind the counter.

"What would you like to drink, Sasaki-san?" she asks.

He has sat, and now twitches nervously.

"First, I would like you to have this."

Her eyes widen to the vivid red of the rose he presents her with. She seems bewildered.

"Wha…" she starts, then somehow recovers "…Oh, thank you so much, Sasaki-san, it's really nice of you."

And finally, finally she looks at him with a spark in her eyes that just melts him on the spot. He wants to gather her into her arms, but it's too early for that.

"Could you make me a take-away for the office?" he asks when she places the single rose in a vase on her side of the counter.

"Sure, I'd give you a discount." She smiles and proceeds to work.

You'd rather give me a kiss, he feels two hands on his shoulders, and the brush of the white hairs of him, but he tried to shrug this feeling away as much as possible. Does he watch Kirishima-san too? It's a scary thought, but the familiar enmity of this side of him is missing. There's something else, it resembles loneliness.

# # #

They share occasional pointless chat, a small gift here and there, few texts during the day.

He feels she has the ability to cheer him up even by having her presence somewhere near. It's enough watching her, reading a message from her, thinking about her in the troublesome moments of the day.

They mostly talk about trivial things, a book review maybe, how university's going, how work's going, what coffee would he like to try and etc. But it's alright, it gives them both their space, it ensures a repeat again next time.

And also it seems she's calming down the suppressed side of him, Haise knows for sure he has an interest in her, but always behaves. Almost like he's afraid he won't be able to see her anymore. They both are on tip-toes around her, and she still smiles at him, sometimes sad, but most of all…Her eyes have some gleam in them now.

Haise likes to think of that gleam as adoration, a sense of comfort, maybe even trust? It's flattering, to have this girl around him. Even his team admires her, though they all can't believe he would manage a relationship with such a beauty.

Eh? A relationship? Can he even regard their half mute walking in circles around each other as a relationship? You see, sensitive guys like Haise like to jump to conclusions too soon and too fast. They just can't help themselves. These guys meet a girl and can almost see the whole future lying ahead of them. But what can he hope for, with his kind of job? And she's still a college student, with a ruined past. And he is a gambler running from a ruined past. Nice couple, aren't they?

Yet meanwhile he meets her almost on regular basis. Most of the time they meet in :re, but he'd succeeded in getting her out on numerous occasions: to the movies one night, to watch a late street show on another one, and today he's getting dressed for a late occasion.

It's matsuri, a moon festival at the local shrine, and it's going on through the night. His team has already gone to enjoy the food-stalls and fish-catching games and noisy fireworks and probably a lot of candies, but Kirishima-san had work and he offered to pick her up after 23:00.

He arrives just as she closes up. She offers him a coffee which he declines politely. As much as he'd like to have it, there's nothing he wants more than to stroll with her past the shrine gates hand in hand to fulfill another fantasy.

She seems eminently tired though, as she takes off her apron. He watches her in her loose pants hugging her waist and cascading down almost like a long skirt, and light silver embroidered top with fluttering sleeves, her legs in simple silver strap-slippers. It's one of the rare times he sees her without the apron to straighten her figure. But her eyes are somehow off, her glance is troubled and he feels his heart dissolving in his tightening chest. The grip on his right shoulder strengthens as his other self watches her, worried even more.

"Do you want to call it a night?" he asks heavily "I can walk you home."

"No, no," she shakes her head "Let's go, It was a rough day, but I'd like to take a walk."

Though it is night, and she's probably doing it for his sake, he feels like the sun has risen. She locks the door to the café and he finally takes her hand in his. She looks at their hands, then at him, but doesn't protests when he leads her beside him.

The streets are mainly empty; the best part of the evening and also of the festival is over. Less and less people are seen in the shrine area, but it also makes him happy to think he'd enjoy the night with Kirishima-san as privately as possible. Most of the food stalls are closed, and that make the things even simpler. He, of course, offers to buy her something to snack on, and isn't surprised when she refuses.

They walk through the shrine hand in hand, in stout silence, watching the remains of the festival. They don't talk at all and he's nervous. Is it really going well? A mute date like this is really what she's expecting? It's almost like sleep-walking, and she seems tired and distracted more and more with every minute that passes.

Luckily for him, he notices the ring throwing game is still on, with few contestants left.

"Look at this, Kirishima-san!" he exclaims, and after sitting her on a nearby bench walks to the stall. He's good at this kind of games, after all. The operator gives him the rings, and he aims for the far poles, missing none. The other contestants clap their hands respectfully, and the operator offers him a prize. He whispers his request urgently, and then almost runs back to Kirishima-san, to notice her dozing off peacefully.

The sight is so cute he can't help himself. He sits near her and wakes her with a light kiss on the cheek while handing her the prize following with a loud "A bunny for my honey!" statement.

She freezes, her eyes shocked; He panics all the sudden; is it the kiss? Was it too early? Has he frightened her in some way?

But she numbly touches the caramel-colored rabbit, pets its head, and strokes its ears, without taking it from his hands, or hugging the plush, or him or whatever. She seems so confused and afraid it pains him. He can't see her eyes under her locks and it makes this even worse.

"Kirishima…san…?" he tries gently, raising one hand to try and caress her cheek, take her hand, shake her out of this state. When he touches her, feels the light wetness on her face, she jumps, stands up, alert like a haunted hare.

"I'm sorry, Sasaki-san." That's all she says before taking off running away.

He continues to sit in stupor, without the slightest idea what to do. He never expected such a thing, stupid, stupid! He rages to himself; what have you done to this girl? Have you really gotten close to her? Do you even understand what it might be for her, when you talk with her? When you force her to remember? He feels black claws digging into his skin, and with the dying voices of the folding festival, under a fallen moon, he's alone, except for the white haired monster that inhabits his head.

# # #

He can't sleep at all this night, and not on the night after that and maybe half of the next one, when the exhaustion finally crushes him into slippery nightmares.

He can't decipher the voices, but the coffee smell is evident, and someone is giving orders around. Is he back to the CCG academy? But why does he see the world so flat and planar, through one eye only, also slightly red? And what are these black and white tiles, these red crumbling arcs, the numbers that pop into his head out of nowhere? Who the hell is screaming out there, making these strangely rhythmic tiny noises, this chocking laughter?

When he thinks he woke up, he sees Kirishima-san crying behind the counter, folding into the floor, sitting in shards of glass and coffee and blood spilled on her white blouse and she won't look at him forever.

He springs out of bed into the gray shadows of dawn. His other self is holding his own head for a change, mumbling occasional nonsense, grabs the thin white hairs with his trembling fingers.

Haise stretches, yawns, reminds himself this is all his stupid psychological condition, just like Arima-san always says. It's just in my head, my fears are lies.

As long as you're alive and focused, anything can be done, even fixing things over with Kirishima-san. Yes, there must be a way, an explanation, for god's sake something he can do in order not to lose her!

He takes a shower, shaves, changes into work clothes, ignores the slight itch around his problematic eye. He walks with his team to work, to a morning full of meetings and overlooking paperwork, especially Saiko's; not only turned in late and incomplete, but also with spelling mistakes. And you go try to convince her how to read Kanji properly.

Lunch arrives at last, and his subordinates race down the stairs in avalanche no matter how many times he reprimanded them, Urie excluded of course.

Haise sighs and takes his coat. He's going to pay a visit to the Kamii University.

# # #

The university is a pleasant place in the early spring. He almost feels at ease there, and can't shake off the feeling of being certainly familiar to this place. And this is why he walks indirectly, checks out isolated spots, watches the Sakura petals dance all over, still white and fresh (Is any academic institute in Japan surrounded by Sakura trees? Food for thought…).

He searches here and there, and comes to the biology faculty building. It's their lunch break too, so students scatter around all over, munching over sandwiches and snacks, talking on their phones or to their friends. He looks here and there and finally, he thinks, finally, he feels the familiar clutch on his shoulders, he finds her. She's standing talking to a fellow student, hugging a paper folder to her chest, holding a disposable cup of coffee and a phone in her other hand. He spots a rabbit key-chain on her phone and starts getting some really horrible ideas.

She must've felt his boring look on her so she raises her gaze to him, and the guy who talks to her moves a bit so now Haise can see her wearing a nice pair of skinny jeans, along with a gray long sleeved shirt. Her hair is done in a messy ponytail, her graceful features shining. She's also clad in long white lab-coat winding so perfectly around her, that his breath hitches in his throat. He imagines Sakura petals falling down on them when she stands beside him, the lab-coat turning into white silky dress, and a fine veil weaved into her hair with small white roses…She'd swear to be with him forever and ever till…

He just wants to be her knight on the white horse. He wouldn't mind even if it was a gray or a brown horse or black one after all. Hell, even a noble pony will do, for god's sake. Just let me take…

What is this awfully familiar longing? This heart wrenching emotion?

Yes, come to me… He thinks then realizes she is hesitantly making her way towards him, not sure if she should talk to him or run away again. The rabbit key-chain catches his attention once more. It's old and worn, but well cherished. A little gift, perhaps? From the treacherous boyfriend?

"Sasaki-san?" she inquires softly, as he seems troubled and scared just like her "What are you doing here?"

He tries to fill his lungs, tries to make a sound, tries to ignore the key-chain.

# # #

They are alone under a Sakura tree now, her lab-coat weaving around her. She looks at him with a glance so sad he almost taste bitter on his tongue. His other self gave up already, leaning white-haired head on his shoulder, heaving on his mind with dismality.

He opens his mouth, but no sound comes out but a ragged breath.

She contemplates, but offers no help for several long minutes.

Just silence and the gentle wind.

"Sasaki-san, you probably should head back to work, and I should go back to class." She suggests belatedly. Yes, it's the logical thing to do, but he simply can't.

She makes the first step away from him, turning her back as he grabs her arm and holds it, firm enough to convey his wish of her staying for a while longer, yet gentle enough not to scare or hurt her.

"Kirishima-san, I just…I wish I could…No, I mean, I wish you could just…" she turns around to look at him stuttering like a fool "I just want to know," he tries to form something coherent "I just want to understand…"

No, that's not what he thought about, not what he planned. Then he lets out "Why won't you talk to me? Why won't you tell me?" is he raising his voice at her?

She looks shocked, her arm trembles in his grasp, tightening around her wrist.

"What did I do to you? What is so wrong?" he looks down when he realizes what he's saying, and before he can stop himself, he adds "What did he do to you? Has he hurt you so much that you can't stand to look at me?"

The wind blows harsher, the petals rush around them till they are lost in white screen of silence. She turns around and appears out of the off-white in front of him, and the look in her eyes almost rends him asunder, but then she comes closer, and wraps her arms around him. He's much taller than her so her head rests on his chest and her hands reach his scapulas. He feels his other self unravel, black-nailed hands reach over his shoulders to her, he finds himself hugging her, hands in her purple locks.

She sighs gently.

Something stirs within him, a thought queerly more familiar than others. Aitakatta, Touka-chan…

"Kirishima-san," he manages to mutter, and pries her body away only to lean to kiss her tears, to hold her close again "Please don't do this. Please don't push me away." The black-nailed hands also hold her, one around her waist and the other around her shoulders, but he never minds them at such crucial time as he continues "I won't be like him, I promise."

Although it causes two more tears roll down her cheeks he continues "I…I only wish to…To be with you, Kirishima-san. To stay, as long as I can…"

Almost inaudible approving hum escapes her, followed with the slightest nod, and his heart drowns in relief and he holds her more and more.

The petals fall down, soft rain of early spring.

# # #

It's a regular day in the office nearing its end, and here come the hours of twilight. Many things were left without a resolve between Kirishima-san and he, yet he longs for her in spite of it and maybe because of it.

She still isn't completely honest with him, and never talks about what bothers or pains her, but she doesn't push him away, at the very least. Perhaps, with some more time…

He longs for her calming smile, for her soothing voice, for her delicious coffee. He longs to show her how important she is to him, that :re became some sort of a resort, a place to relax, a place to look forward to going.

He sends Shirazu and Mutsuki home beforehand, tells them to try imposing some order in their residence and promises special reward to the one who convinces Saiko to take a bath once in awhile. Urie heads for training without proper parting greetings.

It's Tuesday, and twice that good as that, so when he makes it to :re at last, it's empty except for Kirishima-san, wiping the counter and returning some forgotten books to their shelves. She turns around and gives him a reserved smile.

"Welcome back, Sasaki-sensei," she chimes and gestured towards his regular spot which he takes without hesitations.

"Can I recommend a special today?" she asks "I've mixed a new blend, if you wish to try it."

"Of course," he says taking out a laptop and opening it, turning it on. Soon an amazing scent fills the café and she presents him with an empty cup first, and pours the coffee from a uniquely shaped small kettle.

The brown-golden liquid has a spicy magnificent aroma, and almost causes him to cry again when he tries it. He puts the cup down and praises it at length, then says "Could I buy you a cup of this great coffee too?"

She laughs at his antics, but brings another cup and pours for herself. She tastes and sighs contently, while he turns back to the laptop.

"How work's going?" she asks.

"Alright, we have some quiet time for paperwork and more training before getting new missions. What about you? How's school going?" he raises his eyes over the screen.

"Fine for now, but soon we'd have tests so it is going to get really busy." She replies.

That covers most of their conversation, and they are left in comfortable silence. He reads from the screen and she reads from random book.

The time is getting late, when he pays then waits for her to prepare for closing up. Before saying goodbye for the night, he surprises her when he asks if she knows why today's special. She struggles to guess when he gives the answer "It's been 6 months since we met, Kirishima-san." and with that he presents her with a small box.

She is so surprised that he helps her to open it. From above his shoulder, his other self watches in growing interest. He takes out a silver bracelet, and takes her right hand, circling it around her wrist and clasping it. It has little silvery rabbits attached to it.

She is speechless, and he starts to panic all over again. Doesn't she like it? Is it too childish? Is it too bold to present her with something like this without really being…?

"Kirishima-san…?" he tried but the next thing he knows is that she's hugging him, thanking him, grabbing him down to her till she reaches his cheek with a light kiss.

His other self relishes in such a way it can be considered as criminal satisfaction. Haise is more than pleased watching Kirishima blushing and excited.

Tonight he walks home with light steps, after promising to call her soon. He hasn't felt at such peace for a really long time. At peace even with the white haired ghost. If he, a pastless man with many doubts and imperfection can make Kirishima-san's smile shine like this…There must be hope, ne?

# # #

A/N: That's it for now, I guess. Thank you very much for reading, and apologies in advance if you've found any mistakes.

By the way, if you feel this story is incomplete you may be just right. Each time I reread this story during the last week, I found it either stupid, or really uninteresting, or lacking in many aspects comparing to what I've wanted it to turn out or to other stories, but it's the best I could do. I hope I would find some more time to write more HaiKa or TouKen, because god knows I have plenty ideas.