I was walking down the halls of Forks High School just as the day began, and I bumped into Mike Newton.
"Hey, you're the new girl, aren't you? I'm Mike. Newton. You're... Wait, who are you?"
"Um..........Bella Swan?"
"You've changed a lot since I last saw you, Bella. I thought you were out with a stomach bug, or something."
"Maybe I snuck out and came to school."
"No offense, but you've let yourself go. A LOT."
"I know I have. Maybe it's because I've been resisting the urge to barf all morning, and it's making me look fat."
"Wait, why have you been resisting the urge to barf?"
"So I could come to school, dumbass."
"I would've thought that your precious EDWARD would keep you home just because you look so awful."
"EDWARD? I HATE HIM!" Mike made the O.o face.
"But you two have been dating for quite a while now, haven't you?"
"I broke up with him."
"But-"
"Guess what."
"What?"
"Prepare to meet your shoes' worst nightmare."
"Wha-" I threw up on his shoes as he started talking again. He ran in circles screaming.
"EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I laughed maniacally as he continued to freak out.
*The next day*
Bella (the real Bella, not me) walked into school, and was met with a very angry Fig- I mean Mike.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS UP WITH YOU YESTERDAY?????"
"What do you mean? I was home sick yesterday with a cold."
"THEN HOW IS IT THAT YOU WERE AT SCHOOL AND THREW UP ON MY SHOES BEFORE FIRST PERIOD?????"
"What? I don't know what's wrong with you, Mike, but you're freaking me out. I'm leaving now."
Mike continued to yell, but we don't want to hear that. At lunchtime, I went over to Bella at the salad bar.
"I think Mike's gone crazy." Bella jumped and almost dropped her plate. She did drop the apple on the floor like in the movie, but it didn't bounce off of Edward's foot and into his hands. It just hit the floor and rolled away. "Sorry I didn't catch it, or bounce it off my foot like Edward did."
"Who are you?"
"The one who needs to apologize to you. I'm the reason Mike's gone crazy."
"Why? It's not like you impersonated me because you couldn't think of a name, and then barfed on his shoes."
"Um, actually... I did."
"Oh. Well, congratulations~ I've been meaning to do that for a long time. Wanna be friends and talk about our mutual hatred of Mike?"
"You mean 'Fig Newton'?"
"Heh heh. Yeah!"
"NO." I'll be seeing you again, when I puke on your boyfriend's shoes~"
"What?"
LOL. This fic was inspired by a "fill in the characters and answer the questions" thing that I found on someone's profile. For almost anything that involved Fig- I mean Mike, I said I'd throw up on his shoes.
