A.N. For Spitfire1017
I feel like I did a horrible job with this, because I lack a sense of humor, but you guys might enjoy it.
CHALANT.
She comes home from helping train some of the newbies that recently joined the team, and can't wait to just flop on her couch in sweats and an oversized shirt and snack on the chocolate cookies she made yesterday while watching TV.
Of course, she seems to forget that she gave her spare apartment key to a pampered bird boy- boy being how he was acting.
And he was already on her couch, flipping aimlessly through channels, the distinct crumbs of her chocolate cookies on his university shirt.
Wait, those are her cookies.
She tries very hard not to stomp impatiently and throw a hissy fit, because she feels she should be acting a little more adult for almost being twenty, but then again, his best friend disintegrated and he's lazing about on her couch.
In short: she's entitled to- at the very least- a mild fit.
"Dick-" she says, attempting to be reasonable. She finds it severely difficult being as this is her couch, and, um, she's the one with a concussion thanks to SuperGirl, because she's doing his job. "What the fuck are you doing?"
Apparently reasonable was not one of her redeeming qualities.
"Sorry, the cookies were just really good," he says, and pecks a small kiss on her cheek, "oh, and I might be staying... forever."
It's times like this that she wishes she could just submerge herself in alcohol- legally- so she could be that person that doesn't mean to abuse them... but, shit happens.
She tries to just shrug it off, but as she's getting dressed and ready for bed, he has made it increasingly difficult to ignore it. His suitcase is open and in the middle of her bedroom floor; her once pristine and feminine bathroom now has all her soaps, lotions, and perfumes are all stacked over to once side, while on the other side of the sink he has his razor and deodorant set out.
What tops the cake off though, is the fact that all of her treats she made are suddenly MIA. He admits to eating her cookies but refuses to admit to her cake and ice-cream.
She ready to shove her fingers down his throat and make him realize that he ate them when- miraculously- Artemis shoves her way through the door.
Unfortunately, she comes in around the time Zatanna is straddling his waist, head bent down so she can scream efficiently into his ears.
They both bolt up when Artemis clears her throat, throws a pair a heavy looking boots at Dick's head, and turns to leave, saying, "use a condom."
It's well into the third month of them living together when she brings a guy home- very nice looking, mind you- tugging at his shirt in a desperate attempt to get it off, only to realize that Dick is fast asleep in her bed, even though he promised he would stay with Bruce and Tim for the night.
She can't get words out of how embarrassed she is, and when her date accepts her profuse apology and she thinks everything is going to be okay, he fucking wakes up and asks her if she wants to deep throat.
"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS!" She screams desperately while her date seems extremely flustered, watching as she launches herself onto the bed in a needy attempt to un-alive the annoying acrobat.
She gets her fingers in a shaky clasp around his neck when she hears the creak of the door swing open and then back closed.
"You idiot! He probably thinks I'm a whore now! You said you would be with Bruce!"
He sighs sheepishly before winding an arm around her middle and pressing them chest-to-chest, "doesn't matter, all that matters is that you are here now."
"Let go of me-"
He smiles, letting her slide up into a sitting position, his hands still locking her wrists, and pulls himself up, whispering in a very husky voice, "do you want to try deep throating?"
She gives him a very unnerving stare, "me and you don't exist any longer, Dick. I'm not having sex with you."
"You are the one who is crawling all over me."
She purses her lips, and shimmies expertly off his lap, and onto the floor, dragging him along with her, so he's on all fours over her, "you were saying?"
"I could go the rest of my life without touching you, you are the one who can't keep your hands off from me."
"Really? I'm not the one bunking with their ex- willingly- and sleeping in their bed."
"So, you think I would give in first?" She asks, extremely disgusted.
He rolls his blue eyes, "without other suitors lining up at the door, definitely."
"You're on, bird boy," she says, places her hands on his chest and shoves him off.
She gathers his things up, puts his pillows and blankets into his suitcase, hands it to him, and explains there is a guest room that he can use, and to also put her bathroom back into order.
"I don't see why you are worrying about this, I mean, Sidney is adorable," Bart says, munching a few more Cheddar and Sour Cream chips that she bought him.
"Who's Sidney?" she asks, as they pass by a shop with bouquets of roses. Bart was the only person in the Watchtower when she got there- "Cassie and Jaime are on a date, and my girlfriend would rather hang out with Kara."- so she took pity on him and took him downtown in Star City.
His eyes widen, and he spits out a large glop of half-chewed chips, "shit! Spoilers!"
"Being over-dramatic as usual," she says, rolling her eyes. Dick was still living in her apartment, but at least he was being productive. And like they had agreed, they hadn't touched each other once in two months.
He shrugs non-chalantly, "I'm just so use to Jaime, that guy knows way more than what he should."
Zatanna's eyebrows knitted together, Bart told everything to Jaime, but because Bart had come back and fucked up everything that had happened, half the stuff he told the Hispanic that he knew probably wouldn't even happen now.
"Bart, want some ice-cream, and we can discuss Sidney?" She asks in a very polite tone.
He slumps forward, "not crash, Z."
They go to the beach a few months later- they being the team, plus Dick, since he is still technically still on a leave of absence.
They're all having fun, Cassie and Jaime are playing volleyball against Cissie and Bart, Megan is teaching the basics of swimming to Kara, and Artemis sitting on a towel, reading.
Dick, being the business guy he is, takes his laptop and sets it out on the picnic table, and tries to be a hermit for the rest of the day.
It doesn't work out in his favor, unfortunately, when Bart tries to get him to play volleyball with him and Cissie because they're sick of winning against Jaime and Cassie.
Seconds later he somehow gets Zatanna to be Dick's partner.
"You guys have to get down to your swimsuits," Cissie says, adjusting the strap on her tube-top suit.
He takes off his white shirt, revealing his flawless body, unburnt and chiseled perfectly. "Staring at something?" he asks, smiling widely at Zatanna.
She blinks and pulls off her short pink and orange sundress, and steps out of her flats, arching her hands over her head to stretch, her top pulling upwards slightly to conform to her moving body.
They both knew what they were doing, and both didn't seem to care.
"No powers!" Cassie calls out from the sidelines, shoving her head through a yellow shirt.
A moment passed, before Bart located the ball and threw it over to Zatanna, "you guys start, don't want to win too early," he said, with a knowing smile to Cissie.
After Cissie and Bart won forty-five minutes later (by a point). Dick steps forward to apologize to Zatanna for being a horrible house guest, and now that he thinks about it, outright just being a bastard, when he sees that she has her hands wrapped around some guy.
Well, he could wait a while longer.
They've been sharing the apartment for nearly a year, nine months of that, not touching each other. They both are frustrated with the other, because as the days go on, it's embarrassing, but it's way harder to not fantasize about their housemate.
Zatanna gets called out to the Watchtower mid-day to play counselor after the Team has another fail-safe mission, because, as it seems, they cannot do those without at least one teen being completely disturbed, and she makes Wally come and sit with Dick for the time that she's going to be gone, because she doesn't want the place trashed or her entire cookie stash eaten- which in hindsight, is a really stupid idea because Wally would be more prone to eating them than Dick.
Whatever, she has to focus on work.
Bart just keeps saying he's fine, and he's seen way worse things before he breaks down crying because Cissie died halfway through the exercise in his arms, and she leaves later that day feeling like shit- how the helldoes Canary do this?- and doesn't really focus on the fact that she can hear Wally scolding Dick about his current living condition- it's getting worse, she'll agree to that much, he shaves every other week, and it kind of disturbs her.
They end up having to be chaperons for one of Cassie and Jaime's dates because they plan on being out after curfew and Zatanna just couldn't say no to the blonde when she had turned on the waterworks and pleaded with her.
Which is why they were going to be at a fair on a Saturday, for fourteen hours, in the blazing hot temperature. Zatanna curses Texas heat- even though it was now almost Winter- and slumps forward after the two lovey-dovey teens who seem immune to the ninety degree temperature as they race through the park checking out the rides like they are five not fifteen and seventeen.
"Oh, we should go through the love tunnel, can we, Z?!" Cassie squeals, hanging off Jaime- how can the two of them stand being so close together when it's so hot out- and practically vibrating in excitement.
"Yeah, sure, whatever," she says, brushing back her hair. God, it is way too hot out.
"You have to come with us! It seats four, and I don't want to be with someone else I don't know," Cassie clarifies.
Zatanna refrains from rolling her eyes because the Tunnel of Love will probably be cooler underneath all that shade an with the water current, and suddenly the idea seems amazing even though it means she has to sit in a squashed seat next to her permanent house guest.
She'll admit it was really cheesy and flashy, with a bunch of glittering hearts and foam cupids hanging from the ceiling while old love songs played through the cracked steroes, and lights of vibrant reds and pinks lit it up, she had to admit it was better than being out under the sun on the Ferris Wheel for another round.
When the two finally decided they were ready to go back home (Cassie staying with Jaime because she didn't like being alone at her house) and they pack everything that they won and the leftover tickets away, and they Zeta a city closer to Jaime's place, and then afterwards the two adults Zeta to Bludhaven, they are surprised to find that Bart is still there, even though he was just supposed to feed Moo-Moo (the kitten) and leave at about three.
"There is someone in your house," he says in a low whisper, pointing towards one of the spare bedrooms at the end of the hall. Dick walks the length to the room, with Zatanna at his heels.
The room was elegantly done, with a freshly made bed, candles burning, roses in a vase, and petals spread out over the bed, "Bart-"
The speedster shoved them the rest of the way into the room, locked the room, and left the house.
