Promise

Lucien

Standard disclaimers apply. *^^*

A/N: This is a continuation to my fic Lying Words. If you haven't read it yet, you could still understand this piece by thinking of Tsuzuki as being gone for a great many years. And you see, Hisoka really misses him, or at least I think so. O.o and don't ask about the crappy title. I just took the last word from this story.

~*~*~*~*~

          "When I wake up without you, knowing you're not there

           The only feeling I have is gone."

                                             - Unstoppable, The Calling

I glumly stared out the window. It was spring and the weather was just about right, although it was nearing sunset. The day was cold and warm at the same time, with chilly breezes blowing every now and then. It was the sort of day that a certain person I know would want to go out for a walk. But that person is gone now and I shouldn't linger in the past. But come to think of it, nothing much has changed since that person left and if there had been any disturbance caused by his leave, things were going normal. In fact, the only thing that wasn't normal was me.

I can't accept that. It's too bitter.

Anyway, it was Sunday. No work. Was Sunday the day that the said person left? I think so. My hair was a mess – just like what his hair sometimes tended to be. I ran a hand through my hair only to find it in tangles.

I really don't have time to comb much these days. That was my answer when Wakaba once asked me why my hair was so unruly as of late. She looked at me with a questioning stare and told me that she didn't think that I had that many things to do. She said that lately, I reminded her of a friend.

Was her friend the same friend I was always thinking of?

Tsuzuki?

I guess so. Everyone really misses him. It was too bad that they didn't get to see his beautiful smile when he left. It was peaceful with a hint of melancholy in it. It was a smile that one could remember forever. But of course – one has no idea how long forever is.

It was clear now that he wouldn't come today. Sometimes, I think that he wouldn't come back ever, but he promised and it wouldn't seem right that he'd break his one important promise when he has disappointed me with some of his other promises many times. That kept my hopes up, but… sometimes, I try to forget about him and move on, but I can't. I miss him too much.

Deciding to take a long dip in the bath tub, I went to my room upstairs, the only one with a bathroom inside the room itself. It was the room that I and Tsuzuki used to share. To cut costs, Tatsumi would always say. Preparing my clothes – a loose shirt and jeans – and taking off my garments once inside the bathroom. Turning on the faucet, I peered into the running water and wondered if somewhere, Tsuzuki was enjoying the same amenities that I had.

I slipped into the tub when it was nearly full. I closed my eyes and tried to think up of something. I tried to picture something. Maybe a beautiful landscape, or maybe the book that I read a few days ago. But… nothing would enter my mind. Whenever I tried to think up of a picture, I'd only see his smiling face with the look of nostalgia.

After a few more minutes of soaking myself in the lukewarm water, I dried off with the towel that my I always kept folded on the bathroom counter. I didn't want to make the idiotic mistakes that my friend and partner -- Tsuzuki -- did sometimes when he was still here. Then, I combed my hair properly. It felt good to have a sense of responsibility when you've done nothing but wait for the past years.

~*~*~*~*~

When I came down, the weather was still good. It didn't seem as if it'd rain any time soon, and so, I went outside to sit on the porch. It wasn't as if I expected Tsuzuki to come. I never did fully believe his promise, but I never did lose my belief in him. To reminiscence on a warm spring day is wonderful. I remember the times when Tsuzuki would surprise me with little gifts. I miss those times. I even felt something back then, something that I couldn't quite place a finger on. But in a sea of monotonous emotions that overwhelms me daily (being an empath, after all), it was a different feeling.

A feeling that is filling, satisfying, but not always gratifying -- that was what it was. A feeling that was not granted to me when I was alive, I think. I have no way of knowing now, not unless Tsuzuki comes back. He was the only one whom I felt that emotion whenever near to.

I close my eyes and breathe in the scent of spring, the scent of fresh and newly bloomed flowers and the calming aroma of leaves from a willow tree. I was disturbed from my solitude when leaves rustled a tad loudly and slow footsteps neared.

I don't suppose a friendly neighbor would be out for a house visit at this time of the day. Most people I know would rather enjoy a warm dinner with their loved ones right now, just like what Tsuzuki always says when he nags me not to work overtime.

Shrugging, I look up and see… a familiar trench coat sweeping the ground.

Tsuzuki…? It can't be. It should be but it can't be…

"Hello, Hisoka," he smiles with the same smile he gave me a few (yes, it seems few now that he returned) years ago, "did I make you wait?"

Stated like that, as if he were hinting something! The nerve…!

"Idiot," I snapped. But it came out fondly without my allowing it, "why didn't you come back sooner? We missed you. I missed you." It all came out in a breathless murmur which annoyed me.

"Anyway… welcome back…" I had trouble drawing out the words because I found that I couldn't breath properly and something wet was forming at the corners of my eyes and that upset me, I guess.

Tsuzuki takes a few steps until he is in front of me and hugged me without a word.

"I missed you, Hisoka. I'm sorry."

I smiled. I was slowly regaining the emotion that I lost some years back.

Tsuzuki pulled away and looked at me seriously.

"Can we eat apple pie, now? It's too nice an evening, but I'd rather be enjoying a warm dinner with my loved one right now. "

I think my face faulted then. Our reunion was supposed to be dramatic and heartfelt and… he had to ruin it. But I am not mad at him for ruining our rendezvous that I had pictured in my mind for so long. And… he said 'loved one'. Was that… me?

"Idiot! Tsuzuki Asato, you are a dummy," I say, still smiling.

I opened the door, welcoming Tsuzuki in.

~*~*~*~*~

"Saa, you still keep things tidy, Hisoka," Tsuzuki says smiling, poking his soup. Actually, it was instant soup, the powdered kind that I swallowed nearly every day. It was sad that I had nothing better to offer.

"…Nothing's changed, I see," He looks at me with something that I deciphered to be a mix of felicity and disenchantment.

My eyebrows knotted together. I didn't understand a thing of what he was saying.

"Everything has changed, Tsuzuki," I said, not paying attention to the sad excuse I call dinner, "but I'm still glad that you came."

"Mm, I see."

"If you don't mind my asking -- Where on earth did you stay the past years? In Gensou Kai*?"

Tsuzuki chuckled.

"Does it really matter?"

Tsuzuki was right there. It didn't really matter so I went back to stirring the watery broth. I raised the spoon to my lips and… for the first time, I noticed that it actually had flavor. I savored the taste before swallowing the mixture all together, unlike the days when I just gulped it down. I stole a glance at Tsuzuki who had finished his soup. He was… staring at me…

"I've found myself, Hisoka," He states with happiness evident in his voice.

"So you have." I replied with a slight eagerness of him explaining what he meant.

"…And you know what?"

I didn't know what was coming. I felt some emotions slip from Tsuzuki who seemed distracted enough to let his shields down a little -- either that or he lowered his emotional barrier on purpose.

"What, Tsuzuki Asato?" I stressed. I really can't figure him out sometimes.

"I found out that I don't want to be away from you again."

The pulsating beat of my heart took its toll on my voice so my reply came out squeaky.

"Oh."

I wanted to tell Tsuzuki that I didn't want him to go away ever again too, and I wanted to tell him that I thought about him not only every day, but always and that sometimes… I felt like I could give up everything just to have him by my side. I wanted to tell him that he was the best friend I had in my whole life, or afterlife, as the case may be.

Fortunately, I didn't have to. He smiled and opened his mouth to say something.

"I got lost. I didn't have any sense of direction 'til I figured out that I just don't belong anywhere else but here with you, and Tatsumi, Watari, Yuma, Saya, Wakaba, Chief, even Terazuma," his smile slowly faded as he continued on, "And I really missed having you around. I missed having you yell at me and your long-winded lectures. There was not a day that I didn't think about you."

Everything that I wanted him to say was said in less than a minute.

"I – I understand, Tsuzuki. But if you really felt that way… why didn't you come back sooner?"

Tsuzuki looked down at his lap and tugged at his dark trench coat.

"I was afraid, Hisoka."

Suddenly, I felt sad for Tsuzuki. Was his fear the thing that kept him away for so long?

"You were afraid? You're afraid of what?" I asked.

"I was afraid that you're mad at me and won't take me in again. I took great liberties and… I was afraid that I had overused all of your kindness and patience so you wouldn't want me anymore."

Tsuzuki looked as if he were about to cry so I came over and stood beside his seat.

"That's silly, Tsuzuki. I… I'll always want you, no matter what," I blushed at my own words.

Tsuzuki was so overcome with his heavily guarded emotions that he hugged my waist and I could feel his face pressed upon my abdomen and my shirt slowly getting wet.

"Sankyu, Hisoka!" Tsuzuki beamed.

After a while, he let go.

"Um… and sorry about your shirt," he said apologetically.

Tsuzuki made me feel so good sometimes. Good enough to make me smile unbeknownst to me until someone complemented me, that someone almost always being Tsuzuki.

And so it came to be that I smiled and Tsuzuki seemed all shocked but then he laughed and I laughed along with him without ever knowing what was funny.

It went on like that for a while until we stopped breathless and tummy aching from the all the laughter and mirth. And… from out of nowhere… the kiss came.

It wasn't really the passionate sort of kiss that you'd see in the movies. It was just a light peck on the cheeks, but it was more than enough to express both our feelings for each of us both. Besides, I wasn't a very kinesthetic person.

I blinked when he kissed me. I even surprised myself by not sending Tsuzuki flying all the way to a foreign planet for being so audacious.

~*~*~*~*~

A few hours were spent by me and Tsuzuki just sitting close and talking about all sorts of things and by ten; both of us were getting drowsy.

A quarter of an hour later, I was in my sleeping attire and Tsuzuki had taken off his trench coat revealing that he was wearing his usual work clothes.

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"You haven't changed out of your clothes for the past decade or so?"

Tsuzuki laughed merrily.

"Of course not, Hi-chan!"

And not more was said as we got into bed and slept.

We didn't need to rush things now. Tsuzuki had made it clear that he would never leave again -- and this time, I was sure that he'd keep his promise.

~*~*~*~*~

A/N: This sucks. And the characters are OOC, too. XP I think I'll edit this sometime later, yano. (Please don't ask about the title! I don't know how I should name this so I just picked the last word in this fic. I am so glad that my fic didn't end in 'male is a sex'. XP)

* Gensoukai – Realm of the Shikigami. You know, those almost always cute and furry Pokemons (okay, so they aren't exactly Pokemons…)? Like Terazuma when he's touched by a girl? ^_^'

The review button looks inviting. Cliiiiiccckk it! ^_^'