(A/N: Okay, peoples, I haven't seen 'Last Knight'. So, I'm going on what I've heard from other peoples. My apologies if it's screwed up. *shrug* too bad for y'all. Hey, if anyone was watching this show when it originally came out, in Canada, was 'Last Knight' the series finale? Or did they just stop making the show like they did on NBC with 'Inside Schwartz' (which I loved, BTW)? Think I could get that info from someone? R/R, puh-leeeeaze. *grin* I'm at my best friend's house right now. I think she's forgotten I'm here. She's singing…she actually can sing good, but doesn't believe me…)
Retracted Oaths
"Damn you, Nicholas."
Lacroix was about to plunge the stake down. He really was. He swore he was. Nicholas had spurned him too many times. He would have said that he would gladly kill his child. But, in the end, he just could not do it. He could not kill his child, the one who would be his Golden Boy, if only the boy would accept it. For the first time in his long life, Lacroix felt defeated.
Nicholas wanted to die. He wanted to die so badly. All his friends were dead; he himself had killed Natalie. She was dying before his eyes. His sister was dead. Why was Lacroix taking so long?
"Get up, Nicholas," came the low voice from behind him. "Take your mortal pet out the back way and leave her in the alley. Just do it!" he snapped when Nick turned to look at him. Lacroix could not believe he was doing this. What had happened to him? When had he gone soft?
Nicholas numbly did as Lacroix said, not having the strength or the presence of mind to resist. When he came back to the loft, the damned loft, Lacroix was on a cell phone. Since when had Lacroix owned a cell phone? All Nick heard of the conversation was Lacroix giving whoever was on the other end the address of the loft, and that person saying that an ambulance was on the way.
"There, your precious mortal will live," Lacroix told him. Then the old vampire flew out of the skylight, leaving Nicholas to his own ends.
The angsty blond-haired vampire looked at the stake meditatively as he heard sirens wailing up the street. He seriously considered using it on himself, killing himself. In the end, he couldn't do it. He knew that Natalie would not want him to…or maybe she would, after what he had done to her. If she lived, and it was a pretty big if, she would hate him, hate him for eternity. Nick was weak, and he knew it. He couldn't do it. As the ambulance pulled to a stop beside the alleyway, Nick flew out of the skylight, not caring if anyone saw him, and to the airport. He had a private jet that he had never used before which would take him anywhere. Now, he finally had a chance to use it.
~~~~@
Natalie woke up in a hospital, and IV tube in her arm. At first, the only thing she could concentrate on was how much she hated IVs. She fought the urge to take it out. Gradually, her brain began to concentrate on other things, such as why she was in a hospital. She remembered Nick, and trying out Janette's cure…and oh my god, he hadn't been able to control himself. A nurse came in just then.
"Oh, good, you're awake," she said cheerily.
"Where's Nick?" were the first words out of Natalie's mouth. She actually croaked them, more than said them. Her mouth was so dry. The nurse kindly held a glass of water to her lips, and Nat drank greedily. A doctor came in and checked her over. Even though she had just woken up from a coma, the police urgently wanted to question her.
They were a batch from Nick's precinct. "Where's Nick?" she immediately asked them. It was dark out, she could see that from the window. Dark and starry.
"We were hoping you could tell us that, Miss Lambert," one of them said to her. "I'm Detective Sculley, and this is Detective Mulder."
Natalie tried not to laugh. "Mulder and Sculley?"
Sculley smiled slightly. "The Captain thought it would be a funny joke. We're supposed to keep this quick, Miss Lambert. What happened to you?"
"Wait, what do you mean, is Nick gone?"
"He disappeared. Was he the one that attacked you? We're assuming you were attacked, of course."
"Nick? Attack me? Good lord, no."
"What happened, Miss Lambert?"
"Well, I was going to visit Nick."
"Did he invite you over?"
"No, it was one of those, 'I'm bored, I guess I'll go see what my friend's doing' things. I never even made it up to the loft. Some guy jumped out of the alleyway and grabbed me. Next thing I know, I'm waking up here with an IV in my arm."
"Did you see what this man looked like?" Mulder had taken out a notepad and was writing things down in it.
"Taller than me, shorter than you. I think he was Hispanic. Dark hair. That's all I remember." Nat had given a description as opposite from Nick as she could, and hoped they believed it. Of course, they had no reason to suspect her of anything. "Nick's gone?"
Sculley nodded. "His apartment's cleared out, not even furniture left in it. He's just disappeared. Reese had a warrant out for his arrest, but I guess that will get cancelled, turn into an APB."
The doctor made the detectives leave after a few more questions. Natalie didn't really believe them that Nick was gone. He just didn't want to be found. Strangely enough, she was not mad at him for what he had done. No, she just wanted him by her side. The instant she was released from the hospital, Natalie went to the loft. As the two detectives had said, it was empty. So, she went to the one place she knew she could get information. The Raven.
~~~~@
Lacroix owned The Raven now. Natalie went in, praying Miklos still worked there, and that he would recognize her. She had gone in once or twice with Nick, but he had never really wanted her to come in contact with the people there.
Luckily, Miklos was there, and he did recognize her. Surprisingly enough, Lacroix was also there, and she was allowed and audience with him. He was lounging in a back room, presumably his office. Natalie was scared shitless, to say the least.
"Where's Nick?" she asked, hoping to get it done and over with.
"You fear me," Lacroix said, standing up. It seemed to please him.
"I would be insane not to," Natalie replied, bravely standing her ground. "Don't toy with me, Lacroix. Where's Nick."
She did not expect him to comply with her wish. It would not be like Lacroix to do so. Surprisingly, he said, "I do not know."
Natalie blinked once. "What do you mean, you don't know."
"I mean," came the silky hiss, "I do not know where Nicholas is. He has disappeared from the vampire community."
Natalie's eyes welled with tears, even as she commanded herself not to cry. She had been so certain that Lacroix would know where Nick was. Even though she was trying her damndest, tears spilled over and tracked down her face. Lacroix handed her a tissue, with which she wiped her eyes and blew her nose. Why he would have tissues back there, she did not know.
"He almost killed you. You do not want to know where he is for revenge. Why?"
Natalie shrugged, not having an answer. She knew she should hate Nick, should want to kill him, but she didn't. She missed him terribly.
"Will you help me find him?" she asked.
Lacroix shook his head. "If Nicholas does not want to be found, he won't be. You are a puzzling human, Natalie Lambert. I would not suggest that you come back here."
Natalie knew a dismissal when she heard one, and she wasn't going to push her luck. Nick had told her many times how dangerous and cruel Lacroix was. She figured she had been lucky that he had told her anything. Of course, as far as she knew, all he said had been lies, but at least it was something.
Lacroix watched the mortal leave. He actually felt sorry for her. She was so besotted by his child… Lacroix sighed. He had told her that he wouldn't help her, but he would. He was growing soft. He wasn't going to tell her he was helping, but he would. He disgusted himself.
~~~~@
It was two years later. The case on Natalie's attacker had gone into the unsolved file. She was glad. Natalie was still looking for Nick. She supposed that some people thought she was crazy, but that didn't matter to her. Coroners didn't have to be one hundred percent sane. Cops did. She had narrowed down her search to one area - the United States. Two years and one day after she had woken up in a hospital bed, she came home from work to find a folded piece of paper slid under her door. Opening it up, there was a phone number on it, and the words, He might be here. She drew in a sharp intake of breath. She had no doubt of who the 'he' was, and who had given her this.
With trembling fingers she picked up her phone and dialed the number. It took her two tries. If this really was Nick's number, he had to be home. It was almost daylight. Someone picked up on the third ring.
"Hello?" Nat's heart almost stopped. That was Nick's voice. That had to be Nick's voice. She hadn't heard it in more than two years, but this was Nick. "Hello? Is anyone there?"
Natalie managed to choke out, "Nick?" There was dead silence on the other end.
~~~~@
Had Nick been human, he would have had a heart attack when he heard Natalie's voice say his name. It couldn't be her; this must just be a figment of imagination. He couldn't count the amount of times he had wanted to pick up the phone and call Natalie when he was feeling especially down, but then he would remember that she hated him, and get down even deeper. This just could not be her on the other end.
"Nick? Please be you. Is anyone still there?"
He was going to hang up the phone. He was positive that was what he was doing. He gave the order for his arm to lower and his hand to put the receiver back in its cradle. Instead, he heard himself saying, "Nat?"
The woman on the other end let out a strangled sob. "Oh, Jesus, Nick, it really is you."
This was definitely Natalie. Why was she calling him? If he were she, he wouldn't ever want to hear his voice again. What puzzled him the most was, why did she sound so damned relieved to hear his voice?
Natalie was suddenly overcome by the irrational fear that he hated her for some reason. That she had pushed him too much, and he blamed her for what he had done. "Please, Nick, say something."
"Why, why did you call me?" That was all his brain could concentrate on right now. By all rights, she should hate him. It made sense that she would hate him. Maybe she was trying to find out where she was so she could come and stake him. Yes, that made sense.
"I…" Natalie faltered. That question had done nothing to alleviate her fears. "I just wanted to hear your voice again, I guess. I'm sorry," she said in a small voice. "I shouldn't have called." She should have known that it was a bad idea, that he wouldn't want to talk to her. She had been silently crying ever since he had said her name, and now her tears increased. She was a fool, a stupid fool.
"Nowaitdon'thangup," Nick said in a rush. Even if she hated him, he needed to hear her voice. Until today, he, much like her, hadn't even known if she was alive. She did not hang up - he could hear her breathing on the other end. He thought she was quietly crying. Why? Finally, to break the silence, he said, "How did you find me?"
"Patience and persistence," she said and paused. Before he could come up with something else to say, she quietly said, "I miss you, Nick. Please come back." Natalie was taking a huge gamble there. She was still pretty sure he was mad at her, or something, but she would have hated herself if she didn't ask.
Nick choked when he heard this. "You what? You miss me? How can you miss me? How can you not hate my guts?" Now he was positive she was crying, and it as breaking the heart he didn't have.
Natalie heard all of the pain, anguish, horror, and self-loathing in his voice. She suddenly knew why he had sounded mad. He was being classic Nick. "Don't ask me to explain why I don't hate you," she could mentally see his wince, "but I don't." It was getting hard to talk and not sound like she was crying. "I just miss you. Please, Nick? Please come back?" She said this quietly, quietly begging him.
Nick just couldn't assimilate this. There was no way that she could not hate him after what he had done. There was no possible way. He hated himself; how could she forgive him? He had almost killed her.
"Nick? Are you still there?"
"What? Yeah, I'm here. I…I can't come back."
He heard her sob again. "Why not?"
How could he explain this to her? How could he explain that he didn't believe her, that he didn't want to see the hate in her eyes and smell the fear in her scent? That would destroy him.
"I can't, Nat. I…I just can't. Don't they have a warrant out for my arrest for…"
"No, I made up a story that they believed, and now it's in the unsolveds. Please Nick?" She could not believe that just hearing his voice had reduced her to this.
"I just can't, Nat." His cheeks felt wet, and he touched his hand to them. His fingers came away wet with red-tinted tears. Tears of the damned. And he could hear Natalie trying and failing to mask her sobs. "Please don't cry, Nat. Please don't. I'm sorry, but it's for the best. Forget about me and get on with your life." He felt like an asshole. A damned asshole. Which was exactly what he was.
"You're right. I'm sorry Nick." Nick heard the soft click of the line disconnecting.
Natalie put the receiver back on its hook and stared at it, crying for a couple seconds, tears streaming down her face. Nick was right. She trudged to her bedroom, curled up on her bed, and cried.
~~~~@
Natalie was using up her vacation days for the year. She had to, she couldn't go back to work yet. In the back of her mind, she knew this was ridiculous, that she shouldn't care this much about him after two years, but she did.
Three days after the phone call, she was glad she had taken a vacation, taken a long one. In her mail, she received an envelope with no return address. The postmark was cruddy - she couldn't read it. But her address was penned in Nick's handwriting. Oh, Jesus, it was Nick's handwriting. Natalie had never had much luck with guys, but she imagined this was how she would have felt if her first crush had sent her a note.
The note was short, to the point, and completely Nick. 'If you want, I'll meet you at the airport.' The only other thing was an airport ticket from Toronto to Providence, Rhode Island. It left pretty soon, no stops. There was no doubt in Natalie's mind that she was going. Her neighbor would watch Sydney. She called up and arranged that. Then, she packed.
~~~~@
Nick nervously waited at the airport. He wasn't sure Natalie would come, in fact, he was positive she wouldn't. But there was always that slim chance. He drummed his fingers on his arm. The plane was almost empty, and Natalie hadn't walked out yet. He shouldn't have gotten his hopes up. He was just setting himself up for a fall. He was such a fool.
Natalie walked out of the plane and through the gate, her eyes immediately searching for that angsty blond vampire. She couldn't see him. Was this just some setup, to see how gullible and pathetic she was? The crowd parted, and she saw him. He was still facing the gate, waiting. Her heart lept - he was just as cute as she remembered, possibly more so. She could see his face. When he did not see her, and the last person had come out of the gate, she watched as his face fell. She could almost read his thoughts right now, after knowing him as well as she did. I should have known she wouldn't come. Why should she? I nearly killed her. She hates me, I know it. I'm such a fool.
"Nick!"
His head snapped around with almost preternatural (hell, it probably was) speed. A grin lit up his eternally boyish face, eliciting a return smile in Natalie. She made her way through the crowded airport, her backpack/carry-on slung across one shoulder. Walking over to him, she debated whether or not it would be okay to hug him. When she reached him, she realized that she didn't give damn about whether it was okay or not, she needed to hug him. She had to hug him, almost as if someone was compelling her physically. He was surprised, but he hugged her back.
Nat backed up a little. "You're tanned?" She made it into a question.
Nick gave her that boyish grin of her. "Sunless tanning booth works wonders. Let's go get your luggage."
As they walked over to the luggage claim, Nick noticed that Natalie didn't walk as close to him as she had…before… Natalie realized that she had said she wasn't afraid of Nick, but she was, a little. She did not feel fear so much as…nervousness. Which was foolish. This was Nick, for crying out loud!
They silently watched the carousel go round, both thinking this may have been a dumb idea. But they were stuck for at least a week, the return flight leaving then for the same flight, just in reverse. They watched the belt go round and round and round again.
"Okay, I've sent hat same blue bag go around six or seven times," Nat said to Nick. Waiting for her luggage always made her a bit testy. "If they lost my luggage…"
"I'll give you my credit card and you can go buy whatever you need," Nick said absently, his eyes searching for her black suitcase. "Is that it?" he asked, pointing to one just making its way through the flaps.
"Yeah." Natalie grabbed it as it went by.
"I got you a room in a hotel," he told her, sounding unsure of himself.
"Okay." Natalie smiled at him. She was relieved. She didn't want to be, but she was relieved. In a quick flashback, she heard his cold voice when she was dying, barely conscious. "I do not love this woman. I will not condemn her to this darkness." It was a phrase that haunted her nightmares. She was such a fool.
"Nat? Are you okay?"
"What? Yeah, I'm fine." She shook her head a little, trying to shake away the memory. She had asked him to bring her across if he could not control himself. She would rather be undead than completely dead. It was not until now that she realized that he had betrayed her, had betrayed her trust in him.
Nick watched sadness and pain flash through Nat's eyes. This was a stupid idea. He was merely opening old wounds that were probably not fully healed.
"Nick?" He had drifted again. "Are we just going to stand here all night?"
"Sorry." Nick led her to the Caddy. Natalie had actually missed the 'land boat'. Ugly it may be, but definitely comfortable to ride in.
Nick now lived in Worcester, in Massachusetts. Being a gentleman, he carried Natalie's suitcase to her hotel room for her. She was in a nice room in an even nicer hotel.
"I'll leave you to get settled in," he said.
But before he could leave, Natalie asked him, "Can I see where you live?"
"Now?"
Natalie grinned and shrugged. "One week, one suitcase, does not give me much to need to settle in."
"Okay." His boyish smile lit up his face. He had not expected her to want to go to his place. When she had first seen him, she had been happy, the released pheromones giving her the distinct scent of joy. Now, she was nervous. It was like when he had first met her, woken up on her examining table. Now he had to regain her trust again. But that was absurd. She would return to Toronto in a week, and that would be it. He wasn't allowing himself any false hopes.
Nick lived in a converted warehouse, almost exactly the same as the loft. In fact, when he pulled open the door, he said with a slight smile, "Welcome to The Loft, Jr."
Natalie grinned at him. "Do you mind if I take a look around?"
Nick shook his head. "Go ahead." He headed for his fridge. He had found another supplier of bovine blood who wouldn't ask questions, and he needed some right now. The beast had been harder to control since he talked to Natalie on the phone. Being this close to Nat…he remembered the sweet taste of her blood, tasting his Natalie. He could taste her love for him, her trust, her lust. He took a quick swig from the green wine bottle and put it back. The cow blood was not nearly as sweet as Natalie's, but it was the best he could do.
Natalie was almost done her circuit of the giant room. There were only two doors going into other rooms, only two other rooms. Or, that was what she assumed. She stayed out of them, respecting Nick's privacy. This space was a bit smaller than the one in Toronto, but it was still huge. A few finished paintings of his leaned against the wall. She stood for a minute, looking at them. They were dark paintings, ones she hadn't seen before. This meant that they were new, but they looked more like ones Nick would have done the first year she had known him, not like the ones he had been painting the last night she had seen him.
When she returned to his side, she saw a deep, haunting misery in his eyes. "What's wrong?" she softly asked, not sure if he would be willing to confide in her any longer.
"I betrayed your trust I me," he said miserably before he could stop himself. He had had no one to talk to for two years, which meant he had two years of angst and guilt stored up.
Natalie sighed. This was a talk she had known they would have to have before she left. She was glad it would be sooner than later because it would clear the air between them. "Yes, you did. That I can't deny."
His face crumpled slightly. He had known it was true, but hearing it from her mouth was a hundred times worse. "I…I couldn't…" He couldn't go on, not knowing what to say. "Nick, I put every ounce of my faith and trust in you. I trusted that either you could control yourself, or you wouldn't let me die. Why?" Nat's voice wasn't filled with the degree of anger that Nick would have expected. Was it there? Yes, but it was outweighed by sadness.
"I thought I could, Nat. I really thought I could do it." He had been looking away, looking at everything but her. Now, he turned wounded puppy-dog eyes on her and took a hesitant step forward.
Natalie did not ask whether he meant he thought he could control himself or bring her across. Right now, Nicholas didn't look like a big, strong, almost-eight-hundred-year-old vampire. He looked like a little boy who needed to be comforted after making a bad mistake. She took the last couple of steps toward him and took him into her arms. She could not hold onto her anger when he looked like that.
"It's okay, Nick," she
said, stroking his hair. "I know
you did. I know you wouldn't have even
agreed to try it if you didn't think you could."
"But I couldn't," he
said, his voice muffled by her shoulder.
"I couldn't condemn you to the darkness I live in. I just couldn't. I promised I would, but I couldn't."
Natalie pushed him away so she could see him. His face crumpled, taking that action as a rejection. Right now, Natalie knew that he would have taken almost anything she could have done as some sort of rejection. That was Nick when he was in one of his moods. She kept hold of his hands, rubbing her thumbs in soothing circles over the back of them.
"Nick, it wasn't entirely your fault. I should never have asked that of you, never have put you in that kind of situation. I should have known…" Nick's eyes were brimming with red-tinted tears. Shit, was it hard to be mad at him for any length of time. His self-destructiveness made it almost impossible. He just invoked this…need in her to protect him.
"But that doesn't matter, Nat. Not to me. You asked me to, I promised to…to bring you across if…if I couldn't…control myself. You trusted me." That was what really got to him. "You completely and totally trusted me," he whispered. He could still taste her trust and love, even when she knew she was dying. A single lone tear trickled down his face. Natalie realized that, in the end, it bothered him more than it did her.
"Nick, listent o me." She waited until she was sure he was paying attention. "You can't pin the blame, if there even is something that needs to be blamed, totally on yourself. You just can't." Nat had had two years to puzzle over his actions, come to terms with her anger, and get over her fear. Both of them had screwed up royally. "You have to believe me. You just can't."
She pulled him back towards her for another hug, needing one just as much as he did just then. Nick buried his face in her hair, and she was glad she was wearing a black blouse. She could feel him weeping.
"There's just one thing I have to know," she said after a minute. " 'I do not love this woman'?" She quoted his words back at him, making them into a question.
Nick pulled away from her and sat down on his couch, burying his face in his hands. He had thought that maybe, just maybe, since he was in another country and Lacroix wasn't there for once, he could love Natalie and not be afraid. Natalie hesitantly sat down next to him, waiting. She knew from when he had drank of her that he loved her. That was one thing that was shared in the process. So, the comment confused her.
"Because of a debt I owe. When I was a fledgling, I brought Lacroix and Janette back to my family. Lacroix…Lacroix fell in love with my sister Fleur. He was going to bring her across."
Natalie listened with rapt attention. Nick did not, as a rule, talk about his family, even though she dearly wished to know more of his past. She did not want to speak, in case that would make him clam up again, but now he seemed to need prompting.
"But?"
"But I convinced him not to. I told him that it was her innocence that he was enamored of and that would be destroyed were she to become a vampire. He agreed, but with a price. He said…he said that the first mortal I loved…he would take her from me."
"Oh, Nick," Natalie said with quiet sympathy. She hugged him with one arm, rubbing his shoulder. This explained why he was always so distant, even sometimes cold to her.
"Exactly Nicholas," came a cold voice from behind them. Natalie's heads whipped around, but Nick didn't look, his shoulders merely slumped. "And I have come to collect my due."
Lacroix stood behind them. "How the hell did you get in here?" Natalie asked.
"The same way I always do," he said cryptically. He smiled evilly. "I have come to collect my due, my son."
"Not if I can help it," Nick growled, standing up. He just couldn't sit there and watch Lacroix…even if it would get him killed, he had to try.
Natalie could see a physical fight about to begin, and she wasn't totally sure that Nick would be the winner. She was scared, terrified, but she stood up and faced Lacroix anyway.
"Lacroix," she said, drawing their attention to her. "You're, what, almost two thousand years old? And have you learned nothing at all since you were brought across? Since you brought Nick across?"
"Are you, for some insane reason, calling me stupid, Dr. Lambert?" Lacroix asked dangerously. Nick begged her with his eyes to shut up, but she had nothing to lose either way.
"Yes, I am. Do you honestly think that Nick would ever forgive you if you killed me or brought me across? Right now, you've just lost him until I die. Oh, wow, such a long time," she said sarcastically. "What's a human lifespan to a vampire? It's a blink of an eye. If you do whatever you're about o do, then you'll have lost him forever. And forever is a long time. Wait another fifty years or so, and you will have your Golden Boy back. Your favorite child will come back to you. Most likely."
Lacroix paused to consider this. He and Nick had been making a lot of progress, a lot of bonding, before the…incident. He had realized that by pulling, he had just been pushing Nicholas farther away. Perhaps his child's mortal pet was right.
"And what have you to say on this, Nicholas? Is your mortal pet right?"
Nick nodded, meeting his master's eyes for the first time that night. "Yes, she is. Very correct."
Lacroix considered this again. He had not really thought about his promise, the debt Nick owed, not expecting his son to be that stupid. Upon further consideration, he knew that Dr. Lambert was right. And revenge was not worth losing his 'Golden Boy', as the good doctor put it. He was stubborn, but not that stubborn.
"Your debt will be paid soon enough, Nicholas. You will have to watch your mortal pet age and die. That will pay your dept to me." With a little woosh of air, Lacroix flew out the skylight.
Natalie started trembling, sinking down to sit on the couch. Nick stood frozen, his earlier misery forgotten in the face of this new development. He was unable to believe that Lacroix had really left, really retracted his promise. That was not like Lacroix, and he had a feeling that there would be a catch later. He quickly became aware of Natalie trembling like a leaf on his couch, finally showing the fear she had felt when standing up to Lacroix.
He quickly took the couple of steps over there and sat down next to her, taking her into his arms, kissing the top of her head.
"You are so brave," he said into her hair. "That was so brave of you. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you, and I can finally say it. I love you so much."
Natalie smiled, Comforted by his protective arms around her. She was no longer afraid in the least of him, not after he had stood up to his master to protect her. She did not answer him at first in words. Instead, she turned up her head, capturing his lips in an ardent, passionate kiss.
"I love you, too."
(A/N: Oh my god, I am ecstatic. This is one of the few stories I have actually FINSIHED!!!!!!! It's DONE!!!!!! *grin* I did it!!!!! Well, I know it's not one of my best works, but hey. It's okay considering I wrote it in school while I was half paying attention to the teachers. *grin* It's done!!!!! And it's longer than a page!!!!! Review, please. Which reminds me, I need someone to edit the stuff I write for me. You don't need to know the characters or anything, just be able to spell and check grammar. Please? Anyone out there? Email me - Mystra1215@hotmail.com - if you can. Oh, yeah, one more thing. *grin* Last one, I swear. Does anyone know where I can find truly excellent N&Npackers fics? Cuz, I can't seem to find any beyond www.fkfanfic.com. Which reminds me of ANOTHER question. Does that site still get updated? Okay, I think I'm done for now…)
