Author's Notes:
Part Two of the 'Willa Girl' Series
First and foremost
You HAVE to read 'I Love You, Awesome Nerd' before this one. I will be referencing things from the first as though you already know what I'm talking about.
Soooo…this story is going to be very different from the first. A good part of it is going to be very angst heavy. I'm saying it now so no one can be mad at me. It's going to be angsty for a while.
This story is mostly it's about the way we all can get kind of tripped up in our heads and how things can start off small and just become this huge stupid thing. This story is going to be following a lot of the same themes as the first, and following a lot of inevitable paths that began in the first. Think of this fic more as an extension of the first and less of a sequel - it's almost more of a part two.
3) I have awesome betas. SQbookqueen & Mia were amazing! Both were so important and so the shit. I love them. I'm so lucky! These stories literally could not and would not exist without my betas. Literally just wouldn't happen. I can't speak enough about how important betas are. Really. They put forth so much work. They should get parades in their honor. If you're my beta or anyone else's - THANK YOU. You are the shit. And we need you. You are SO important!
Other thoughts. You're welcome to track me down on Tumblr/Twitter (ioliviajanae) and I'll answer all of your asks. I also put up sneak peeks pretty much weekly and the likes.
Care Reminders: Nothing too serious. I'll post care reminders before the chapter begins.
Rating: M: Sensuality, sexuality, language, adult themes
Prologue:
"Chlooooooooeeeeeee!" Beca wailed, frustrated as yet again she was pushed back into the fluffy pillows. "You can't just – ugh, you don't get to – ugh, I have to get up! Stuff - to do!" She set a scowl on her face, hoping that it seemed like she was just angry and not that she needed to squint in order to see through the groggy mental fog of this stupid freaking annoying cold.
"No, you don't." The vixen-y redhead chirruped, grinning at her from her perching place over Beca's hips.
"But really though, I do. Kind of a lot, actually." She glowered through the one eye that would actually open, trying to focus on the assault of red hair that was hanging over her, but that just made her eyes cross.
"Nope. I don't think so."
Beca went to argue, went to throw a small tantrum if need be but the deep breath she took caught on her itchy sore throat and instead she broke into a hacking coughing fit that made white spots flash in her vision. Oh god, she was dying. Someone kill her, please! So tired! She was so tired. Why did everything itch?
Chloe grinned, somewhat smug, "See." She pushed a bit of hair out of Beca's eyes, "You're not going anywhere. You're too sick."
"I'm not sick!" Beca croaked, more out of stubborn habit than the hope that she was in anyway believable. She kind of sounded like she had been smoking three packs a day for forty years.
"Uh-huh. Sure."
Beca had a few choice things to say back but – maybe she would – if she ever stopped freaking coughing. Chloe just tenderly stroked up her arms and over her shoulders, trying to soothe, trying to – Beca slapped her hands away mid-cough with a glare so the glob of organic-all-natural-hippie-Chloe-peppermint-eucalyptus-rub went flying.
"God damn it, Beca!" Chloe growled, "Are you serious? You're worse than a toddler!" She pressed her knees in tighter so that Beca couldn't move and, leaning over, she wiped the glob off the bedside table. "You're sick! Why won't you let me help?"
"I'mb not sick!" Beca moaned, trumpeting her nose into a Kleenex.
Chloe's eyebrow just rose, "Sweetie, you literally can't even breathe."
"Idon'twannabreathe!" Okay, that sounded stupid - though not as stupid as the fact that her legs had actually just kicked - like a five-year-old. Oh my god, what the hell was wrong with her? She couldn't think with her head trying to explode like this. "Chloooo-" but whatever she was going to say didn't matter much because she broke into another coughing fit that made her whole body bounce and shake.
Chloe just sat over her with her arms crossed, one eyebrow still high looking annoyingly victorious.
Oh my god, get off! Beca sat up and tried, as her body heaved, to push Chloe off of her. It was kind of like trying to push a brick wall with a toothpick and she just ended up giving in and resting against her instead; trying hard not to whimper and moan as Chloe wrapped her arms around her in what might have been the most comforting hug ever.
Damn it.
Chloe cooed, stroking her back as Beca tried to get a deep breath and she felt herself, despite her insistence that she wasn't sick, melting in; drowsiness sinking into her despite her protests about having things to do that day. She was just so comfy.
"This is where you need to be today, Bec."
UGH! Need – to – breathe – can't – brat – freaking – notgirlfriend –person – must – yell. Only once the fit passed she was so tired that she just settled for a glare, her head hitting the pillow and sticking as though it were made of glue. Why was it so soft? Why were all things in this bed against her right now? She had to get up! There was - stuff - she couldn't remember - but something was waiting for her to do it! Right? Something was always waiting for her. She had to - she had to - she burrowed down a little deeper, soooft, it was all so soft. "Shut up." She muttered as Chloe's grin widened.
It only made Chloe smile more which grated against Beca's defiant streak. She didn't want to get up. She didn't want to go anywhere. Only, that stupid beautiful smirk on Chloe's face made her push herself up to her elbows, "Chlo, I have to go to work! I have an appointment with a distributor and - and - that thing! I told Emily I would take her - over there - to do the stuff!" Totally didn't sound like she couldn't remember what it was she was supposed to do that day. Nope. Not at all. Crushed - that. Yup.
Chloe gave her a shove and she sprawled back again, willfully defeated.
"Hey! Don't use me as an excuse!" Emily cried, skipping into the room and flopping down beside her.
"How are you just heeeeere?" Beca cried.
Emily shrugged, not at all bothered by the acid in her voice, "Teamwork."
"See!" Chloe beamed, resettling herself, "Even Emily thinks you need to get some sleep."
"Whose side are you on, traitor?"
For a moment Emily's face crumpled, stricken but then Chloe laughed and Emily was beaming again.
"She's on the side of you not spreading the plague to everyone you meet. L.A. is gross enough already, Bec." She insisted, with an adorable little nose scrunch.
"Hey, lady," Beca mumbled through a raspy, phlegmy hack, "don't try and cute your way out of this. I," she paused for dramatic effect, "have to go." She tried to push her way up again but Chloe just pushed her back.
"I will use force if I have to, you know."
Beca just muttered, grumbling under her breath about the force already being used. Oh! Idea! "I'm not spending my birthday in bed!" She shouted, hoping that would be her get out of jail free card.
"It's not until tomorrow!" Chloe cried, her mouth hanging open.
"I thought we weren't allowed to mention that, anyway." Emily frowned.
"Errr….you are...for the next three minutes…" Beca gave a nod, "so let me up."
"Nope!" This time Emily shoved her back down.
"I promise if you stay in bed I'll make it worth it," Chloe muttered with a small wink and everything in Beca hitched, despite the cold, despite the fact that she might be dying Chloe's words sent a jolt of anticipation straight through her. She glanced at Emily, her mouth slightly open and then back at Chloe, giving an awkward little laugh.
Emily took one look at her face and pointedly looked away, studying the ceiling – the walls – basically anywhere but at the couple, mumbling a small, "Gross."
Chloe just beamed at her and rolled her eyes, "I didn't mean it like that!"
"Well." Beca grumbled, throwing the blankets off, "Then I am not interested."
She still didn't quite make it, though. She was halfway over the road block of Emily's body when Chloe, moving with the swiftness of a cat, scrambled under the blankets and roped Beca's waist, pulling her back down.
"Chlooooe!" Beca whined, "I can't just say in bed!" Hack, hack, hack, her whole body shook as she coughed, "Emily," cough, "save me," cough, "have to - adulting - stuff!"
Emily frowned, looking like she wasn't sure she wanted to be in a smaller enclosed place - say the car - with Beca as she sneezed, spraying everything near her with her cold.
"Hey!" Chloe grabbed her chin, pulling her to face her, "Beca! You need-"
"Crap!" She gasped the burning began to build in her nose signaling another sneeze was coming. She had just enough time to rip her face away from the eighteen-week pregnant woman before the hurricane-like sneeze exploded from her – and right into Emily's face.
The girl just froze, her face scrunched tight as Beca's hand flew over her mouth a second too late.
"Oh shit!" Beca squeaked, "Dude, I'm so sorry! Trying to avoid – you know, pregnant lady."
Emily's hand came up and silently wiped her face, "That's okay!" But her expression said clearly that it was not okay. "I'm uh, just gonna, um, bathroom."
Beca watched her go at a speed that was almost impressive, embarrassed and thoroughly grossed out for her. "Sorry!" She meekly called again. "Sorry, Em."
"Now will you listen to me?"
"Dude, I gotta-" Then all protests were gone because Chloe had wrapped herself around her and she was so warm and she smelled like Chloe and she was so comfortable. A wave of coma like sleepiness washed over her as Chloe began to stroke her hair and hum. "No fair, de-devil woman." She muttered through a yawn but before she could hear more than Chloe's chuckle, she had drifted away and into sleep.
What the hell was that?
She groaned aloud, clutching the pillow closer to her.
Whhhyyyyyyy? Sleeeeping! She was sleeeping! What was that - she huffed a deep sigh against the pillows. "Aaaamy! Shuuuut up! Why are you always - loud?" She moaned, clamping the pillow over her head.
Awweee, but it was pretty.
Pretty voice.
Pretty but - sleeping - now - please.
Mmmm, she sighed, letting her pillow fall away.
Despite her sleepy, groggy, cold medicine induced coma she felt her ears pricking, listening to the melodic tune.
Wonder if I can get that for Grasshopper.
Whether she wanted it to or not consciousness was slowly beginning to come back to her and as it did she began to understand the words, "...happy birthday dear Beeeeca, happy birthday tooo yooooou."
Beca sighed. Chloe. She could hear Chloe singing.
Oh! Chloe was singing to her! Awwwe!
She huffed, pleasantly burrowing into the blankets while her hand searched for the source.
Where - is - what -
She wrenched one sticky eye open and found that it was dark in the room, the only light coming from the single candle that was sticking out of the small chocolate cupcake.
"Mmmm."
"Hey, sleepyhead."
"Mmmm."
"Wake up and blow this out. Then you can go back to sleep. Well. After you eat it."
"What? What haaaaappenning?"
"It's your birthday!"
She tried to process that, rolling over with great effort, "But it's dark - ness - dark out-" her sleep-drunken finger pointed vaguely toward the dark window.
"It's midnight. It's been your birthday for a whole minute!" Chloe beamed.
She wrenched both eyes opened and despite the fact that she felt like she had been hit by a Mac truck she had to smile at the sight of Chloe sitting cross-legged next to her, the candle light catching the sparkle in those vivacious baby-blues and making her hair light as though truly on fire. "Hey, beautiful." She rubbed her eyes and grinned.
"Hey." Chloe smiled back. "Come on. Blow."
"That's -" she yawned, her words coming out messy, "That's what she said."
Chloe's eyes rolled.
"Who do you think the 'she' is?" She rambled, pulling herself up a little, "Like - do you think it could be anybody or do you think there was just this one really pissed off guy who started these jokes about his ex-girlfriend and now all 'that's what she said' jokes are about her? Like, how much would it suck to be that one girl?"
"Oh my god, Bec! Blow out the candle, crazy!"
Beca snickered and tried to take a deep breath. The breath got stuck as it always did these days and instead of blowing the candle out she flailed, hacking and coughing until, "awe, boo," the candle went out.
"Oh!" Chloe covered her mouth as she laughed, "That works too."
Beca just grumbled and fell back to the pillows, just trying to get a deep breath.
"Hey."
She opened her eyes - as difficult as that was - and found Chloe hovering over her. Despite the pressure in her chest or her clogged ears, a guilty little smile popped to her face. She liked finding Chloe over her like this.
"Can't go back to bed without at least a bite."
"'Kay," she rubbed hard at an eye, "gimmie."
She blamed the Sudafed for her totally missing the little dancing devil in Chloe's eye. That was the only thing that could have explained her totally missing it. Either way, when she leaned forward to take a lick of the gooey frosting she instead let out a squawk as it was shoved unceremoniously - up her nose. "Bllaaaugh!" She cried, sending chocolate flying, "GLAAAGH WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!"
Chloe cackled, trying to jump off the bed.
"UGH YOU JERK! No, you don't!" Beca cried.
"It's your birthday, it's your birthday! You needed a facial! You needed a special just for Beca birthday facial!" Chloe screamed as Beca dragged her back in, "Uncle! Uncle! Uncle!"
"What? No way! No mercy!" Beca rolled, pouncing over her and pinning her to the bed, a death glare on her face. "I have chocolate in my nose."
"Mmm, that's a good look for you." Chloe grinned, her lip between her teeth.
"Oh yeah? How's it now?" She cried, rubbing her chocolatey chin across Chloe's.
Chloe wailed like she had been defeated but leaned up and caught Beca's chocolate covered lips.
"Hey! You don't want this cold."
Chloe's grin widened and her voice came out with a teasing lilt, "But I thought you weren't sick, Bec. You've been saying all day that you're not, remember?"
"I'm - not?" She tried, "Yeah I think we need to get back to the topic at hand. Chocolate. Everywhere."
"Mmm, yum. I don't know why you're complaining Bec, you taste pretty good."
"Hmm-mm." She couldn't even be mad as Chloe teasingly sampled the chocolate off her face.
"I think you missed a spot."
"Where?"
Beca, a strong pout on her lips, pointed to one of the many giant globs of chocolate just beside her upper lip.
"Oh. Let me get that for you."
Beca hummed in satisfaction as Chloe pulled her in for a long, slow, birthday morning kiss.
"Happy birthday, Beca." Chloe hummed, her tongue gently tracing the corner of her lips.
'****'
"Oh god! Oh! Oh god, yeah, right there! Bec, right there!" Chloe's back arched off the couch, her eyes closing tight as Beca pressed into her. "Oh god, that's so good," she moaned out in a long high cry. "Oooh!" Her teeth snared her lip, grabbing it and holding it tightly, her toes rhythmically stretching and curling in response to the delightful sensation. So good. It was just sooo good. Her hand tangled in her own curly hair as her eyes closed. "How are you so good at this?"
Beca's laughter rumbled, "Yeaaaaaah, that's right! Say my name, biotch!"
Sudden laughter exploded from her and she dropped unceremoniously back onto the cushions, her hands covering her face as she cackled. "Oh my god!"
"SAY IT!" Beca shouted back, her eyes alight, "SAY MY NAME!"
It had taken a full day and a very high fever but Beca had finally given in and let Chloe take care of her; something that Chloe took great pride in, thank you very much. And now - "Ooooooh, Beca!" Chloe moaned loud, breathy, and desperate. Well, Beca was definitely doing better. She yelped as the touch turned on her and she let out a squeal, kicking and writhing when Beca's fingers tickled the foot in her hand. "No,no,no,no!"
"I said say it again!" Beca squealed, her fingers moving up to tickle the back of Chloe's knee. "Say it!"
"Okay, okay, okay! Fuck, Beca!" She moaned low in her throat, "Aaahhh! Ooh! Oh god!" She gave her best impression of what, thanks to 'Jungle Gym', she knew she sounded like in bed.
Together the redhead and the brunette broke into hysterical giggles until tears began to run down their faces.
Beca's thumbs went back to kneading the balls of Chloe's feet.
"Okay, okay, I totally know what I'm hearing is not what it sounds like and all of that, but um, eww. So, uh, yeah, stop it...please." Emily grumbled around the giant bite of blueberry bagel, her look playfully sour. "Plus," she mumbled, "knowing you two it could turn from a foot rub into something else really quickly which yaaaay, you know I'm so happy for you guys but, errm," Emily shifted and the last words popped out awkwardly blunt, "...stop it. 'Kay?"
Chloe's hands covered her mouth to hide her guilty titter; enjoying the glitter in the gunmetal-blue eyes across the couch from her.
Poor Emily. The girl still looked a little shaky and unsteady on her feet after the catastrophic cold that she was barely over. The poor thing had taken quite a hit.
She chuckled again, tossing a look back at Beca and, for a second and just like always, she was briefly caught, bewitched, even though they weren't looking at her. Beca had beautiful eyes, somehow so expressive despite her constant show of sarcasm.
"Dude," Beca cleared her throat, her face growing serious as she stared up at Emily, "I can't help it if I have magical fingers, Em." Beca pressed into the sore arch and Chloe moaned again behind her clasped hands. She couldn't help it; Beca was very good with her fingers and it felt amazing.
Beca bit her lip, giving Emily her signature smugly blank stare.
Emily just stared back, vacant of all expression and unmoving as she tried to decide if and how she should take that - or if maybe she just wanted to walk right back out of the room again.
The look made Chloe smile, shaking her head a little. She loved these two together, she really did. Who would have thought that they would mesh so well? It really went to prove that you couldn't always know how life would go. "Yeah you do, baby." She bit her lip and leaned forward to pull Beca into a kiss.
Beca squawked and batted her off, insisting, "Dude, how many times do I have to say this? I'm going to get you sick and you're the worst when you're sick."
"I am not!" Chloe gasped.
"You kind of are, though," Beca said with a nod and a smirk.
"Well. I don't know about you, Bec, but I remember a very hot," Chloe sucked in air through her nose, "And very sexy midnight make out session-"
"Ooooh," Beca's head tilted to the side as if trying to remember.
"So. It seems silly to keep that kiss from me now." Chloe reasoned.
Beca laughed, surrendering when Chloe gave another pull and took the long kiss that she wanted. She didn't let her go until she was satisfied, which was just long enough to make Emily go from 'ew' to 'full gross-out'.
Emily finally unfroze from her spot beside Beca and flopped across from them. After a second she let out a petulant huff, a few strands of hair lifting from her face and falling again.
It made Chloe snicker, giggling against Beca's lips. If she didn't know any better, then she would think that Emily had been forced to deal with this often over the past few weeks. Okay, so maybe she did...sometimes...or a lot...whichever. She was only human and Beca...she was so adorably sexy. It couldn't be helped.
"Awwwww, are we making you uncomfortable, Flashlight?" Beca asked, purposely speaking into the skin of Chloe's neck.
Clearing her throat was the only answer that Emily gave them so Beca mischievously pressed into Chloe's foot again and she played along; moaning, thrashing, shaking, making Emily's face turn puce. "Oh Beca, yes! Yes! YES! DO IT AGAIN! Oooooooooooooh!"
Emily just shook her head, "Nope. Noooope. God, you think I would be used to that since I hear it like every fricking day in 'Jungle Gym' but somehow the live show is just so much more embarrassing."
The two broke apart, laughing, loving their moment of teasing their friend, only... oh no! Chloe leaned back, burying herself into the couch's throw pillows. Though it was supposed to be a joke she felt her body purring to life, hitching and responding. Covertly she bit her lip, sucking on it lightly as her legs shifted, rubbing against one another in Beca's lap ever so slightly.
"Awwww, don't be embarrassed!" Chloe gave Emily a teasing pout, trying to ignore the feeling singing to life in her belly. Emily flung a chunk of her bagel at her. Chloe yelped, holding up a pillow as a shield. "Eeeeeeeemily! What's wrong, sweetie?"
"Yeah dude, your cheeks are a little red. You okay there?"
Emily rolled her eyes but no one was fooled.
Beca laughed, teasing some more but Chloe was having a hard time focusing, distracted by the way that Beca's fingers moved lithely over her ankle. She cleared her throat. Oh boy.
The problem was, though it had been a few months now, she pretty much wanted Beca's hands on her all of the time. It couldn't be helped. She loved it all too much! She loved how Beca felt, how Beca tasted, how Beca sounded. She loved the way that Beca touched her with such dedication; she loved the hunger that a simple glance could wake in Chloe. She was addicted to all of it. It didn't help that no one could make her laugh like Beca could, and no one was truly her very best friend like Beca was. Okay, wait, there was Aubrey…but that was totes different!
There was just no such thing as enough of Beca.
Just the mere thought of Beca's twitching stomach muscles, of the way her eyes rolled, her noises, of exactly how Beca would touch her - it was enough to send her running from wherever she was in the condo in search of her new lover. It had her constantly dragging Beca away from the activity she had been doing in order to satisfy this new and unquenchable need.
So while the joke had been fun, funny even, that warm flood had begun in her stomach; that sensitive pooling desire that she was still getting used to and she was pretty sure that there was really only one thing that could soothe it.
With the feeling came the delicious thoughts of just what they could be doing at that exact moment, how Beca's mouth would feel, the things they would talk about tangled together under the blankets when they had exhausted themselves.
She cleared her throat, trying to skip over the feeling. It was so not the time!
It was Beca's own fault that she couldn't get enough of her. If she would just stop being so damn desirable and Beca-like...
She watched Beca tease Emily, running her hand through her hair, rolling her eyes as her finger absently traced the side of Chloe's foot.
She squirmed a little at the casual touch.
Yeah. It was Beca's own damn fault.
Beca glanced over, laughter radiant on her face, making Chloe jump, caught. She could see that Beca was waiting for Chloe to respond to whatever it was that she had said but Chloe had completely missed it; her mind elsewhere. Her lips twisted as, slightly guilty, she watched Beca's blue eyes flick over Chloe's face before the laughing twinkle doubled, "Ha! That joke backfire on you a little bit, Chlo?"
Was she that obvious? Her face suddenly flushed hot and she squirmed again, sucking harder on her lip, "Maybe. A little bit," she admitted. Her hands were sweaty, her legs gave a twitch and the feeling only intensified as Beca's focus narrowed, growing slightly hungry in that way that nothing seemed to stop – not hell or high water or even – as they had recently learned – illness.
Chloe saw that, saw the small change in her best friend and felt that warm pressure grow in her belly, branching out and begging to be satisfied.
"Seeee!" Emily cried, her hands tossing in the air as a throwback cough racked through her, "This is what I mean! Darn it! I can't even - ugh -"
"I'm sooorrrrrry!" Chloe whined, not all that repentant. She felt bad that she was so obvious...kind of...but like…Beca…
"Gross." Emily hopped up, looking around the room frantically, "I'ma - I'm gonna - yeah, gonna go grab my stuff from upstairs and pretend that I didn't just see your face, Chlo. Yeah. Gonna - gonna go do that. But uh, No funny business. We gotsta go. Becs - Becs - Beca!"
Beca had lost track of the conversation a bit, her finger running up and down the top of Chloe's foot, watching the way it made her twitch.
"Beca!"
"Wha - um, what?" Beca jumped, eyes going wide as she tried to look innocently back at their friend, "Yeah? What's up, Em?"
"We have to go! We're already soooo behind schedule!"
Beca's lips pursed, "But like...isn't one of the benefits of me doing this album that we can make our own schedule?" She gave Chloe a glance that made those delightful little butterflies begin to flap their wings in her stomach.
"That's funny," Chloe smirked, "I can swear I said that to you when you were sick."
Wordlessly Beca reached over and covered Chloe's mouth, smiling up at Emily.
"Maybe once Grasshopper is open, boss-man Becs." Emily laughed, bouncing a little in place.
Chloe, mouth still covered, felt the devilish urge to bite the hand away but instead, knowing it would drive Beca crazy, lightly brushed her tongue across the skin.
Beca's face went beet red…but she did not pull her hand away.
Chloe's secret little grin grew as Beca turned back to her, eyes already doing a hundred things to Chloe.
"Beca!"
"Hmm?"
"We gotta go!"
Beca jumped, finally pulling her hand away and making Chloe pout, "Right! Gotta go, right! Gonna - do that - be ready -for that."
Chloe wet her lips as soon as Emily was gone, feeling like a teenager who was hiding her half-naked date in the closet as her parents said goodnight. "I'd say that we have about a minute."
Beca scoffed, "I can work with that."
"A minute? Really Beca? You think you can do it in a minute?" She meant to sound bold, mocking, and maybe a little sarcastic but it just came out wobbly like maybe she wouldn't be totally surprised…because maybe she wouldn't be.
"You know it, baby." Beca smirked, making Chloe's eyes roll, "Come on, let's test the theory," Beca grinned, her shoulder bouncing cockily as she scrambled over Chloe.
Their lips met, pulling a small little moan from Chloe; her fingers linking around Beca's neck.
She would happily take that challenge.
Beca's hands clamped down on her hips, her thumbs pressing just under Chloe's hipbones; holding her under her because she knew that Chloe liked the pressure.
Chloe gasped against Beca's lips. Oooh, her whole body tingled with happy pleasure. How many times over the last months had their mouths met like this? How was it still so all-consuming? Her back arched and Beca slowly, torturously licked across her bottom lip before slipping inside. Chloe pulled her in tighter, delighting in the skill of her tongue, in the weight of her against her body, in the happy chuckle Beca released.
"If it counts for anything, I totally felt the same way when you started moaning my name." Beca's voice had grown into that hoarse rasp that always melted Chloe's inside.
She let out a little pant at the thought and deepened the kiss. Oh god, how was it that Beca could do this to her so easily? "You did?"
"Mmmm."
And that little hum! She loved it when Beca made that noise. "Becaaa," she purposely purred, her nose running over Beca's ear.
She felt Beca's body hitch against her, that same little body hitch that was usually the preamble to Beca losing herself completely. Chloe felt it and her body responded, her hips giving a roll, seeking her. She bit her lip, swallowing back a happy laugh. She loved it.
She heard Beca's breath catch in her ear, just one delightful little catch and then Chloe was moaning, really moaning as quietly as she could when Beca's hand cupped her, pressing. Her teeth snagged her brunette's ear, whimpering as Beca whispered that she wanted a real one, a real moan. The heel of Beca's palm pressed and Chloe didn't have a choice. She stiffened a bit and hiccupped a small, "Bec," that she was pleased to have absolutely no control over.
Oh god.
Oh god, this woman. "No fair," Chloe half laughed, half whimpered. "You're gonna make me all – oh - and then leave – ahh." Her hand covered Beca's, pressing tighter against her jeans, making her fingers more deliberate.
"Yeah? For a woman who's complaining you don't actually seem all that eager to stop."
Chloe hissed, a small laugh ghosting from her lips, "I have no idea what you mean."
This was the best kind of torture. Maybe… maybe Emily could go on ahead of Beca or - she gasped, her head falling back, lifting her off the couch, "Oh! Stay home. Call in sex – I mean sick."
Beca laughed, her teeth catching the spot just under Chloe's chin, "No, I think you had it right the first time."
Chloe couldn't even find it in herself to be embarrassed.
"Well," Beca cleared her throat and tried again, "well since the person I would have to call into is Emily, I think the jig might be up, Chlo. Plus, sssooooomeone already made me call this week."
"Damn it! Stop it! Oh! Do that again!"
"Guys? I'm coming down!" Emily called from the top of the stairs, her voice wary, "Guys! Hello? Oh come on, don't make me walk in on you again."
Chloe let out a breathy laugh against Beca's cheek, her hips rolling against the thigh that Beca had just offered. "We-we should stop."
"Mmmhmm."
"Bec-oh god, Bec,"
"Yeah! Right! Okay. Stopping. Um. Stopping now." Beca chuckled again, "If that same sssooooomeone hadn't been so dead to the world this morning…"
Chloe gasped, her fingers beginning to itch for Beca's skin. She ran her hands up and over her torso, "Well, sssooooomeone could have woken me up!"
"What?" Beca pulled back an inch so they were pressed nose to nose, "You can't just wake up a snoring pregnant lady! That's totally just not right, like kicking puppies or, I don't know, stealing all of the 'Who's' Christmas presents." Beca mumbled as she worked her way down Chloe's cheek, neck and across Chloe's collarbone; her free hand pulling the shirt down as far as she could.
Chloe gave a playful grunt, her hands slipping greedily under Beca's shirt, "I do not snore!"
"Ughmygod!" Beca moaned into her skin, doing things that made Chloe's eyes roll, "Sure, Chlo."
"Hey!"
"Tomorrow morning I'm going to wake up early and take a video of you 'not snoring'."
"Don't you dare!"
"Yup, totally gonna happen."
"Ohmygod, don't you-"
"Gah! See! Damn it! I told you!" Emily covered her eyes, the other hand going out in front of her and covering her view, "I need - like - I need to keep a squirt bottle on me so I can hose you two off."
Chloe frowned down at Beca's flushed face that had buried itself in her chest, grunting in frustration. "I guess that's all we can do for now."
"Ew!" Emily cried, stomping in a way that even Chloe could see looked like her.
Beca laughed, pushing herself up and off of Chloe. She clicked her tongue, "Don't hate, Em!"
Emily's warm brown eyes lit, laughter dancing as she cupped her hand over her mouth and cried in a high falsetto, "Appre-she-ateee!" And the two broke into laughter at their own inside joke.
Chloe laughed right along, though perhaps she was laughing at them a little more than with them. She loved her silly losery girls and she loved that they brought the dork out in one another.
"'Kay - yeeeeaah - ," Beca ran her hands through her hair, her face growing honestly serious as she began to gather herself for work, "we have to go anyway. We're so behind schedule."
Emily's arms flapped, gesticulating wildly, "That's what I've been saying!"
"Hey! It wasn't me who said I had to stay home! That's all you two!"
Emily just groaned, rubbing at her still slightly red nose.
Chloe readjusted herself on the couch, trying to force her body to cool, "You think you'll be home for dinner?"
"Oh yeah, totally," Beca nodded, absently, searching out her phone, her keys, and her cigarettes.
"What are we having?" Emily piped up, grinning like an excited schoolgirl as she assumed her invitation.
"Mmm, I don't know, what do you want?"
Emily's eyebrows pulled together, worriedly uncertain, "Um, I dunno, food?"
"Oooh!" Beca cried, "Yeah! We should totally have that! Dude! Right, Chlo? Doesn't that sound freaking amazing? I'm so in the mood for that."
"But I mean like something that's not entirely green would be like kind of awesome!" Emily said with a fast almost apologetic wince, "Or um, whatever you want, Chlo!"
Chloe rolled her eyes, "Thaaanks! You're both so helpful." But even with the rolling eyes, she felt her insides bubbling with easy happy warmth. She adored them both so much.
"I don't know," Beca clicked her tongue, her attention still elsewhere, "It was a near call. I think I just saved the evening, Chlo. I could have come home to find you cooking the couch. I just saved your life."
"Hmm, I don't think that's what I'll be serving, Bec," she purred, her teeth snaring her lip again.
Beca's head snapped up and she just stared back, twitching slightly, as though she couldn't believe that Chloe had used that voice...right then...Chloe and that voice...right then.
Emily just frowned, glancing between them, "Wait, what did I miss?"
Chloe fluttered her eyelashes in teasing innocence, "What's wrong, Bec?"
"Nothing!" Beca cried, shaking her head, flustered and bumbling. "She's uh, yeah, she's not going to repeat that – like that - right now - I uh- gotta go, supposed to have – paperwork – P.J. - so uh, what? What was I saying?"
Giggling, Chloe tossed one of the throw pillows at her. It smacked into the side of Beca's body, too distracted to think of stepping out of the way. "Let's go out."
"Ohhh, yeah!" Emily all but jumped up and down. "I think Benji is even off tonight. Oh! Oh! Can we-"
"Teppanyaki, yeah, yeah, we know, Em." Both Chloe and Beca groaned, making Emily blush while still somehow managing to look thoroughly unapologetic.
"They make it for you at your table!" Emily cried it as though this answered everything.
"I think finally going is a good idea! It's Emily's night!"
"Frick yeah! Yay!" She giggled, going up on her toes for a second with excitement as her fists shook.
The decision had come on kind of suddenly, in truth. A week or two ago Beca and Emily hadn't even talked about recording another album together. Instead, Beca's primary focus had been on the fact that P.J., her boss at 'Moment One Recordings', had decided that he wanted Beca to not only open a second studio but also turn it into the third label under his umbrella. It was pretty much everything Beca had ever wanted. Well. She wanted her own independent label, but Chloe was confident that was still coming somewhere down the road.
'Grasshopper Recordings', as Beca was calling it, was nowhere near ready for its doors to be opened yet but, under that name, Beca had decided that her first piece of business should be recording the next Emily Elliott album.
It was true Beca had two other clients at the moment; Hope, a young soon to be and Kendra, the woman who had launched her career by buying and recording 'Flashlight'; however neither Kendra nor Hope were quite ready to record yet. Hope was young - really young and a bit gun shy and Kendra currently lived in New York so Emily seemed like the logical choice.
Chloe had thought the idea was great. She knew that Beca and Emily loved to toss ideas back and forth about what the album could be in their spare time. She also thought, though Beca would never say it, that recording Emily's album first was her way of bringing 'good energy', as Chloe would say, to the new label – her label; starting things off right. Yes, they would still be in her dinky studio at 'Moment One' for now, but recording at 'Moment One' under the 'Grasshopper' label was good enough until they could move.
No, it was more than good enough for now.
Beca had been trying so hard to play it cool for the last ten days but Chloe could see through her act, not that Beca was that great of an actor anyway! She could totally see just how excited she got whenever the subject of moving herself over to Grasshopper was mentioned. She didn't buy her pretend nonchalance for a second!
They had no idea when Grasshopper would be ready. Currently, the carpets were being ripped up and replaced and the sound equipment was being handpicked by Beca herself. Chloe had to assume it would open sometime before January when Kendra would be moving into her six month L.A. sublet.
The thought made her mind wander, yet again, over the idea of an opening party. She hadn't been able to decide if Beca would love it or hate it if she threw something like a housewarming party, something to celebrate her wonderful girl. She was willing to bet that Beca would secretly kind of love it. She'd have to put a pin in that and come back to it. Maybe even snag Emily one afternoon for a chat.
"Okay, I'm good with Teppanyaki." Beca sighed, "I'll see how the afternoon goes and let you know what time?"
Chloe nodded, still slightly distracted as she pictured a grasshopper shaped cake.
"Okay, cool."
"Have a good day, guys! Play nice with the other children."
Beca stopped, feeling around in her pockets as she always did just before she stepped out of the door, making sure she had everything. Chloe could see her mentally ticking each thing off one by one and then, as though she realized what she had forgotten, she turned and all but sprinted back to the couch.
Chloe let out a small giggle, her heart giving a leap as Beca pulled her into one more long and deep kiss.
Fingers traced down her jaw and Chloe let out a sigh.
Butterflies. And magic.
Ugh, if she had known that Beca would be this way, so skilled, so passionate, so tender, she might have jumped her so much earlier than she had.
She internally scoffed; yes, that was a drastic oversimplification of how they had become lovers. It hadn't been like that, but still, she wished it had been that simple, and that she had done it years ago because it was amazing.
She was amazing.
Not that she hadn't known that already.
But this side of Beca was still coming as a surprise to her, a delightful surprise. She had seen Beca with her ex-boyfriend, Jesse, for years, she had seen Beca with Hunny, her drug addict ex-girlfriend, and frankly she had received her own fair amount of special Beca treatment, but nothing had ever given Chloe any hint that she could expect this.
It was wonderful.
She let herself surrender fully to the kiss, loving that she could do that with Beca, loving that she made her feel like she was both slipping into a warm bath and touching an exposed outlet all at once.
Her fingers, as they always did, closed around the back of Beca's neck, hooking her in as she let out a small contented sound.
Beca eventually pulled away and Chloe sighed, unwillingly opening her eyes. A breath away, she could see the blue of Beca's eyes dancing between her own, her smile so large that it was giving Beca something very much like dimples. Automatically Chloe smiled back, her breath hitching in her chest, feeling it rise, this new - thing - between them, this new development. Her heart picked up pace instantly, beating so quickly that it turned everything from warm and fuzzy flutters to softly uncomfortable chest pains.
Oh god. Oh no.
Her breathing slammed to a stop in anticipation, but Beca just leaned in and gave her another quick kiss, like all she wanted from the day was to lie there and kiss her. Then she turned and headed out of the front door, tossing her a wink and calling, "Don't forget to pack for this weekend!"
Chloe let out a shuttering laugh, her hand at her throat as she blinked slowly, dumbly frazzled; both extremely disappointed and grossly relieved.
Beca hadn't said it again - not once in the last ten days, but Chloe could see it there, waiting on the tip of Beca's tongue and trying to keep cover in her eyes. She could see it and it made Chloe's heart beat with joy and her stomach grow slick like oil; sweet wine peppered with panic.
She had been sleeping with Beca for months now, easy, happy months; months of laughter and discovery. Perfect months. Chloe bit her lip again, her expression darkening; happy months but - in the back of her mind she felt that threatening dark cloud again, sitting in wait, ready to soak them in bitter reality.
Beca had said it to her and Chloe knew that Beca had meant it with every part of her soul.
But.
The problem was…
Chloe couldn't be with Beca.
And Chloe hadn't said it back.
Still hadn't said it back.
She hadn't avoided it or anything like that - but she also hadn't said it back. Of course she knew that Beca understood, Beca always understood. But...
Beca had said 'I love you' but Chloe couldn't - she couldn't be with Beca - not like that.
That had always been true, she had always been honest with Beca, she had always said that it couldn't happen - and for the most part, it hadn't mattered, things had been fine as they were, light and fun... But that 'I love you' - it had reminded Chloe of that dark threatening thing. They couldn't be together.
So she couldn't say it back.
They couldn't! How could they? Even if they decided that they wanted to, how the hell could they?
Chloe groaned into the empty condo, rubbing hard at her eyes until she saw spots.
Beca's lifestyle didn't exactly cater well to a wife and child, not when Beca was this young...because, though Beca had just had a birthday a few days ago, she was still very young… and her business, it hadn't even begun to try and get off the ground. It was even younger than she was.
She couldn't. Beca couldn't.
Because that was exactly what it would be - being together...it would be an automatic marriage...or at least a marriage-like relationship; not only because of this baby but because best friends turned lovers couldn't be casual. You couldn't casually date someone you knew that well, it just wasn't in the cards, it wasn't in the nature of the thing. Even if they both decided that they wanted to take it slow, even if there was no piece of paper, even if she stayed Chloe Beale instead of becoming Chloe Mitchell...that was what it would be.
And Chloe appreciated that.
She respected that.
And she couldn't have it.
Not right now.
Plus...even if Chloe wanted to jump right in and say that Beca was her girlfriend - how could she? They had never even been on a date, not a real and official one with jitters and a movie and dinner. It wasn't their fault; their lives had just been a little chaotic since Chloe had arrived. There hadn't been a lot of rest or a lot of time to find out who they were together.
This in between thing worked for them.
Mostly.
Plus, things would have to be different soon anyway, right? Now that this baby was on the way...or at least...it seemed like this baby was on the way...they couldn't just - no, things had to be different.
Beca would want things to be different.
Right now she knew that she hardly seemed pregnant. She was only eighteen weeks and she was barely showing for eighteen weeks, but eventually she was going to get huge - and scary and gross and so, so, so pregnant - and Beca would lose interest in her inflated, swollen, achy body.
Chloe was sure of that.
And if she didn't...well…
Chloe had been looking for her life, she needed it, she needed to be her own person, to be autonomous. She had been looking for an apartment; she had been working on transferring her teaching credentials to the state of California.
She couldn't let Beca...even if Beca wanted to...
She bit her lip, nerves raw.
She just…
She couldn't…
Because what if…
Fear bubbled sickly in her throat and her hand reached up, fluttering over her heart. Without thinking she grabbed Beca's hoodie from the floor, pulling it on and wrapping herself tightly in it. She smiled a little as she took a deep breath, taking in the scent of its owner and feeling the wave of comfort that washed over her in response. She loved this sweater; it was her happy place - only topped by the woman herself. She was fairly sure that Beca would not be getting it back.
Pulling the hood up over her curls, she cuddled in deeper, her mind drifting back to that moment; Beca pinned under her on the floor, her face shining with joyful vulnerability.
The words hadn't just popped out of Beca. It hadn't been forced out from their fall like a cork out of a champagne bottle. Beca had looked at her, had studied her face and she had said it...which was so unBeca-like. She didn't wear her heart on her sleeve; she just didn't do that kind of thing. Chloe had been able to feel just how much Beca had needed to say it, how good it had felt and…
Chloe had known love. She had known love over and over again in her life, her parents - in their own ways - Aubrey, Nick, countless boyfriends and friends over the years - and yet she had never seen love like that on someone's face, never seen it glow so radiant, never felt it coming from someone so thoroughly. And she had never felt so safe in someone's hands before.
Chloe bit her lip, hugging herself; a smile pulling despite her nervous tension.
She had never seen anyone love her so thoroughly.
She couldn't be with Beca - she couldn't let Beca actively love her - she couldn't, she just - she couldn't. But - that smile, the way her eyes had danced popped back into her head and despite herself - Chloe sank deeper into the couch, beaming.
