He isn't sure if it's the rain that makes the blues and purples run from the hydrangea blossoms, or if it's her words that drain the colours from the world.

Amidst the rapid fade of the world into black, white and grey, his eyes find her lips. Strangely enough, they're the only thing that hasn't faded yet- they still remain the same shade of scarlet red. And they're delivering the final blow, even as he hopes against hope that she is lying.

"I'm going back to my world." She says, and the last colour of the world mutes to grey.

It's been a month.

He sits in his room, his knees drawn up to his chest. Ragged breaths sift past his teeth and his fists tremble where they are braced against his shin. His eyes are wild, wild with fury and frustration and desperation. Thoughts are running through his head, a pandemonium of anguish clamouring to be heard.

It has been this way for too long. The sensation of stuffiness, the inability to breathe, to move on. Something has been gnawing at his heart since the day she departed. Today he recalls its name from deep within his memories.

Betrayal.

Yasusada barges into his (their) room one day, yelling. He hears, but doesn't listen. At least, not until "aruji" drifts into his head.

He is up immediately, out of his room for the first time in months. He finds the other swords assembled in the courtyard and nearly collides into the young woman standing on the engawa. The young woman in white and red, the young woman who is not his master.

He drops to his knees and pleads with her to bring his aruji back. And as he is dragged away, he screams that he will never acknowledge her.

He is the rock in the river.

Because he refuses to budge, everything has to flow around him. The new Saniwa has given up trying to reach out to him. Even Yasusada has given up trying to talk (or beat) sense into him. As the crusade gets back into gear, he stays alone, in his own bleak bubble. Once one of the strongest swords, he is now a shell in a dark, dark room. The world outside may have regained its rainbows, but he doesn't want to see it.

To him, a world without her is a world without colour.

The rain falls again, but it's a different kind of rain.

She isn't coming back. He has waited a whole year for something that will never return. Like his first master, the second abandoned him because she didn't love him enough.

His third master is genuinely surprised when he makes his appearance dressed in battle gear, his vessel in his hand. It's with an open heart when he says, "Kashuu Kiyomitsu. I'll keep myself pretty, so take care of me."

And after a monochromatic year, he finally sees a colour. The colour of her eyes.

The colour of new beginnings.


A/N: This is loosely based on the Five Stages of Grief, but inspired by 'Love Story' from the musical. In the song, the swords sing about their Saniwa leaving to chase his/her dreams. I realised I never thought about what would happen if a Saniwa left their swords behind, so this came about. And what better character to see it from the eyes of than one who has abandonment issues? (I'm sorry Kashuu, I love you very much, please don't hate me ) I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing (aka struggling to fit each part in a hundred words) it!

(*Looks at folder of numerous random tourabu drabbles* Don't worry, you'll get your turn one day.)