Adventures at the Movie Theater: New Moon gets Dissed!

(Brought to you by the Anti-Twilight-Movement)

This is a tale not for the faint of heart. Edward lovers beware (but keep reading so that I can laugh at all of you when you're finished reading, and have that constipated look on you're face like Edward when he doesn't get what he wants). So here it goes …

Me and my buddies went to see New Moon (I hate it but they all like it). It was opening night so there was a lot of strange people there to see it and make fun of it (I was one of them ). As you all know, everyone in New Moon is topless. So at this one scene, this one werewolf goes to get Bella from the woods and he's topless. I think this is really funny because it's this random guy in 10 below weather and he's not wearing a shirt! So I start to laugh (I have a SUPER contagious laugh, and it is really obnoxious, too). Everyone else starts laughing with me even though it's a really sad and depressing part. So the movie continues. Edward starts snogging on Bella like an octopus! So I yelled GET A ROOM!!!!!! Everyone was laughing. Then I found a $1.00 bill on the floor, which was fun! After a while Edward's like "I love you Bella" and she's like "I love you too!" and then I'm like shouting, "GET A FRICKIN LIFE!!!!" I mean seriously we've known that you guys love each other. Seriously! So at the end Edward says, "Marry Me." Then I shout "DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The End

All of the above is true and I actually did do all of the stuff. It was fun and I shall return for more criticizing of Eclipse and Breaking Dawn.