Doki-Doki

Rating: PG

Genre: Romance

Pairing(s): Yuuta/Mizuki

Warnings: OOC, I would say

Summary: A Yuuta POV fic—his thoughts on Mizuki, really.

Notes: This is Shounen ai. If you do not like it, or the pairing, then why the hell are you reading it?

On a happier note, I actually got this typed and finished before we left for my grandfather's funeral!

You know that annoying sound that your heart makes whenever there is an awkward moment? Or, I suppose that your heart always makes that sound, but it's only noticeable in those silences that come after an embarrassing moment or when the person you like does something noticeable?

My heart just did that. Doki-doki

Mizuki-san has a habit of making people notice him wherever he goes. Even in the dorms, he focuses attention on himself by dressing flamboyantly or speaking with a grand tone.

But all he did this time was look at me.

"Yuuta-kun?"

Doki-doki

"Qu'est-ce qu'il y a?" Did I mention that he was attempting to teach me several languages at once? Another way that he attracts attention to himself is by speaking in other languages randomly, and he happens to like French. I am usually lucky to catch a few words when he speaks in English, but French and Spanish, his other languages, are far out of my league. However, I think he just asked what was wrong.

"Nothing. I mean, rien," I corrected myself after a few moments of thought.

"Have you worked out already?" Good, he went back to normal Japanese.

"Yes," I nodded.

"Do you want to go out for a walk or something?" he asked, looking up into my eyes. He was four centimeters shorter than I was, but it was easy to forget when he somehow loomed over me or spoke to me seriously while maintaining eye contact, much as he is now.

He looks as if he is scared that I would say no.

Doki-doki

"Okay." He smiled at my reply.

Doki-doki

It was cool when we left. I did not know exactly what his intentions were, for we were not dressed for training. Then again, I hardly ever knew what Mizuki-san was thinking. We just walked together, side-by-side, as if we were complete equals and he was not my sempai.

I will admit that I did like Mizuki-san. His overwhelming confidence somehow made me feel… almost as if I had an actual self-esteem, for lack of better words. He helped train me and was the first person at the school to call me "Yuuta-kun" and not "Fuji's younger brother," even if he did have ulterior motives that caused my brother to hate him. I did not care, though, because I wanted to stay near to him. Not just because I do consider him a friend, despite his sometimes frighteningly flamboyant nature, but also because I really did not want to leave him. It hurt my heart to think of it, though it took me a couple of months to figure out exactly why. I suppose that my decision to stay, however, put a divide between my brother and me, though it is getting better. However, I had to follow my heart—the same heart that is still pounding so loudly that the world must be deaf not to hear.

Doki-doki

I ma reluctant to say to myself that I am in love with him, and do not just really like him. I promised myself that I would not hold any sort of physical preference and would just love who I would, and perhaps the gods are laughing at me, now. I came to like someone that it would seem impossible for me to like in the perspective of anyone else.

I felt warm right then, walking right next to him like that.

Doki-doki

As we were passing over a bridge, neither of us really saying anything, he stopped and looked over the side and into the water below. I did the same and saw our reflections bouncing on the surface between the reflections of the two lamps that we were on either side of us.

We were silent, but his presence kept me satisfied.

Doki-doki

I wanted to kiss him, suddenly, just to see what would happen. Would he laugh and make fun of me, or would he turn around and walk away?

Doki-doki

I realized that such a brash action would be hard for me to do, for I am not really one to take the initiative in such situations. In that sort of situation, Mizuki-san would be the one to take the initiative.

Mizuki Hajime-san, the person that was standing right in front of me, with the light reflecting in highlights in his hair and eyes beautifully. He was not looking at me, but I could feel my heart pounding harder than ever.

Doki-doki

Why has it not it burst by now? It sure as hell should have!

"Yuuta-kun?"

I had sometime, during that mental rant, turned to face the river again. I turned towards Mizuki-san again. He was looking at me, light still reflecting in ways that I swore before could only happen in works of art. His hair fell in front of his face softly and I wanted to touch it so badly.

But there he was now, looking at me again.

Doki-doki

Now that he had caught my attention, he turned so that his back was against the railing that he had been looking over before. "You have been acting strange lately. As your sempai, I am quite worried about you." He paused. "Is there anything that you would like to tell me?"

I just stared at him for a few more seconds, unable to come up with an intelligent reply. Words failed me. So, instead, I did something still very stupid, but it was the only thing my body was capable of doing at the time—I took the initiative.

I kissed him.

Doki-doki

I did not even know what it was that I was doing until my arms were around his waist and I was kissing him deeply, dominance won through the initiative. Though it felt so good, I was afraid for it to end, for fear of his reaction afterwards.

But right now, he was grasping at the sides of my shirt, pulling me down closer. He was so warm as well and I could feel his heart against my chest.

Doki-doki

But finally, he pulled away from me, and I was embarrassed to see the thin sliver of saliva trailing from between our lips. He smirked and laughed in his way as he wiped it off. "You couldn't resist, could you?" He sounded so calm, so unlike me. "Fuji Shuusuke is going to kill me now, for seducing his younger brother."

"But you didn't." Words finally came back to me. "I've just felt like this. I felt it on my own, and not because of any one thing you did." I looked away. My heart was hurting now. I wanted just to yell. Perhaps I should have yelled. "I love you, Mizuki-san."

I was not sure if it really was love, for I had no other experience with which to compare it. But my heart was painfully beating and I really did just want to stay near that one person for… for as long as I could. I wanted to say forever, but that was highly unlikely.

Doki-doki

"Are you sure that it isn't just respect for your sempai?"

I shook my head. "That was what I thought at first. But if it was, why would I not feel it for Akazawa-sempai or Yanagisawa-sempai as well? I wondered for a while and finally came to my conclusions."

"So you say that you love me, despite that you know that I used you for my own personal gain?"

I nodded. "I don't even know why. But though they offered me to leave for Seishun, I did not want to leave. Mizuki-san, I wanted to stay near you." I did not know what else to say. I sounded as if I was begging, rather than explaining.

There was silence. I looked back towards him and he was still staring at me, passing his judgment.

Doki-doki

"Yuuta-kun," he began, finally, "what would you do if I agreed with you?" Where was he going with this?

"I don't know." I answered. It was the truth—I did not know. "Whatever it took to make you smile."

He did. It was not his normal smirk, but a smile. "Come on, Yuuta-kun, we'll talk back at the school."

I followed him, as I suppose I always would, whether or not anything came of tonight. I am pathetic like that, I suppose, in my own opinion.

But as long as I could see him, I would feel warm, and my heart would beat like crazy.

Doki-doki

"Yuuta-kun, what are you doing?" It was a warm night, not too long after the scene on the bridge. Mizuki-san stared at me with a puzzled look as I picked up the phone receiver.

"I was calling my brother."

A grin came to his face. "Let me speak to him."

I hung up slowly, an amused look coming to my face. If I called Shuusuke while Mizuki-san around, the phone was liable to be stolen away from me and used to wage war between St. Rudolph and Seishun. Or just between Mizuki-san and Shuusuke while the rest of us from both sides watched. I would be torn to choose sides.

I will tell him another day.

Mizuki-san kept his grin. "Well Yuuta-kun, isn't it time for you to train for the next time we face them?"

"But Mizuki-san…"

"Come on, you know I like to watch."

I blushed and let myself be dragged along. I could see the other tennis team members staring at us. I did not know exactly what Mizuki-san had in mind—then again, I never did. But it did not matter because I was with him and I could see him smile.

Doki-doki