5/11/15: Just a heads up, this story is really freaking old, and definitely not my best work.


Harry James Potter was walking towards a Herbology lesson one day when he saw a very strange sight—what looked like an elf. Harry had never seen an elf before, so he was about to ask it what exactly it was doing at Hogwarts when it pulled him aside. Harry noticed that it had a sword, so he kept quiet.

"Are you Harry Potter?" it asked Harry. Harry could not quite put a gender to the elf, because even though the voice was quite masculine, it seemed to be wearing a dress. Harry had about two seconds to muse about cross-dressing magical creatures until it poked him. "Are you Harry Potter?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, I am," he said distractedly. "Are you a guy or a girl? Because you're kind of wearing a dress…"

"It's called a tunic," the elf snapped, "and I'm a guy."

"Who are you, and what do you want with me?"

"I'm Link," the elf said. Harry stared at him confusedly until he rolled his eyes and elaborated, "Hyrulian that lives in Ordon Village, works on a ranch, regularly has to save the world from the forces of darkness, is the Chosen One of the world?"

Harry looked highly affronted. "I thought I was the Chosen One."

Link looked very confused. "I dunno, these light dudes kept telling me that I was chosen by the gods and everything, and that only I could save the world from this Twilight thing that's slowly taking over…" he paused and looked around, "Where are we anyways?"

"We're in Hogwarts."

"…Right." Link said, looking incredibly confused. "Where exactly is Hogwarts?"

"What, do I look like a walking encyclopedia?" Harry asked, annoyed. "I'm not Hermione, I haven't read Hogwarts: A History!"

Link rolled his eyes. "Can you tell me what area of the world it's in? And you have a funny accent, did you know that?"

Harry looked at him strangely. "We're in Britain, duh. It's called a British accent."

Link's eyebrows scrunched in confusion again. "Where's Britain?"

Harry raised his eyebrows. "Island north of the continental Europe?"

"What's Europe?"

Harry roared with rage and dragged Link up to the Headmaster's office. Giving the password, Licorice Wands ("What are wands?"), Harry pulled him up to Dumbledore's office and knocked furiously on the door.

"Come in," came the voice of the old Headmaster. Harry stormed in and stopped in front of his desk. "Professor," he said in a controlled voice, "This cross-dressing elf thing—" Link snarled in contradiction, "—showed up in the Entrance Hall, knows my name, and claims he's the Chosen One. And to top it off, he doesn't even know what the bloody hell Europe is!"

"Ah, Link, I'm glad you arrived safely," Dumbledore said, completely ignoring Harry and addressing the elf. Harry looked royally pissed.

"You know this thing?"

Link snarled again and had his sword at Harry's neck in half a second. Harry stared at it, his eyes very wide.

"I do not think there's any reason for violence, Link," Dumbledore said patiently. He scowled again.

"Look, one second I was sitting talking to Beth—which, I guess, I'm not too sad to get away from—and next minute I'm in all this blackness and hear this big voice that sounds an awful lot like yours to go find a Harry Potter."

"Yes, I did ask the Light creatures in your universe to transport you over to ours for a day. I thought you and Harry here could have some bonding time."

The two looked at each other, looks of intense hate on their faces. "As if," they said at the exact same time. The Headmaster smiled.

"I thought that because you two were both the "Chosen Ones" of your separate universes, you might bond fairly well. Now, Harry, I presume you know where the Room of Requirement is. Please lead Link to this, and settle down for some bonding time. I'll inform your teachers that you have the day off, and I will let you out when I feel that you have had enough."

"I've already had enough," Link and Harry again said at the same time, glaring daggers at each other. Dumbledore continued to smile.

"Run along, then."

Harry led Link to the Room of Requirement, glaring at him the entire way. After wishing for a room with two rather comfortable chairs—he didn't want that sword out again—he led Link into the room and pointed him towards a chair.

"Right, so Dumbledore said we have to 'bond,'" Harry said, rolling his eyes.

"Is he senile or what?"

"…You could call him that," Harry said, "I mean, he's the most brilliant man ever, except for maybe Merlin, and Gryffindor, and Slytherin, and Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff…"

"Who are they?" Link asked interestedly. Harry sighed.

"Never mind."

After a few scuffles over Link's clothes and Harry's scar, the two slowly began to bond. After learning that they were both orphans and had never known their parents, it hit off from there.

"So…I'm the only elf in this village full of humans," Link said, "And I keep having to run off to Hyrule to save the world. But I guess it all pays off because there's this really hot chick there named Zelda…"

"I've been number one on a psychotic madman's 'to kill' list for the past sixteen years ever since I was born because of a stupid prophecy that was made forever ago. It said that I have to kill him, or he has to kill me."

"The world isn't big enough for the both of you, eh?" Link chuckled.

"Nope. Plus, he was the one that killed my parents, so I want to kick his sorry butt anyways."

"Why are you called the Chosen One?" the elf asked.

"The bloody Ministry of Magic decided that since I was the one that said Voldemort—this evil mass murderer that I've been talking about—has been back for a year and a half, they think that I'm the savior of the world. They actually aren't too far off," he mused.

"I'm not really sure why I am," Link said thoughtfully. "The guy told me to bring this stuff to the king of Hyrule, and then I got caught up in all this stuff with Twilight and everything, and whenever I have to go into this Twilight I turn into a wolf and this creepy thing shows up and hits on me."

"That's kinda strange, so you're like a werewolf?" Harry asked confusedly.

"What's a werewolf?"

"Where you turn into a wolf on full moons and completely lose your mind and attack people unless you're locked up somewhere. The rest of the time, they're normal."

"Eh…no, it's that humans can't survive in this Twilight stuff, but since I'm the 'Chosen One' and such I just turn into this wolf. I'm just as smart as usual, but this Midna thing doesn't think so."

This bonding went on for quite some time until Dumbledore appeared in the doorway, and smiled as he watched the two animatedly talking. "Harry?" he said after a minute of listening to Harry explaining Quidditch to his new friend.

Harry looked up. "Yeah?"

"I think you two have bonded enough, and it's time for Link to go back to his universe."

The two groaned. "Is there any way we can keep in touch?"

"I'm sorry," Dumbledore said, "There's usually no way to communicate across universes. There was a fluke, and we decided to take full advantage of it. But I believe that you both have benefited from this encounter, have you not?"

The two friends nodded solemnly, and bade each other good-bye before Link went back to Dumbledore's office to get transported back. Harry walked dejectedly down to dinner.

That night, Harry went to bed, thinking about elves and hot chicks. Link, on the other hand, fell asleep on his cot, wondering who or what the heck were Merl In, Griff In Door, Slither In, Huff el Puff, and Rave In Claw.