Heather Introduces Drugs to the Cullens
HEATHER: Looky wats I gots! –holds up clear plastic bag-
JASPER: wats that?
EMMETT: oh my google! IT'S F***ING PRETTY!!!
ALICE: stay away from her! She's eeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvviiiiiiiiiiiilllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BELLA: -twirling around & around- I like Edward's ****!!! La-la-la-la!!!!! Monster, monster, monster!!!! It's HUGE!!!!
EDWARD: -running in circles- immma purdy pink princess!!!!!! I'll shoot ur f***ing head off!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
ROSALIE: -in fake, deep voice- Emmett… TO THE BEDMOBILE!!!!!
EMMETT: -squeals like little girl- YAY!!!! –they disappear in2 the 'fun cave'- (u kno, like the bat cave??)
HEATHER: -eye twitches- I haven't even given u guys anything yet & ur already f***ed up!!!! I LOVE U PPL!!!!!! –gives them bear hug-
EDWARD: AHHHHHH!!!! The love, it burns!!!
HEATHER: here pplz, drink this! –she gives them their own cup-
JASPER: -done wit it in seconds- WOAH, PRETTY LITES!!! -stares at the lite bulbs-
ALICE: -eyes go wide wen she finished- I HAV A CONFFESSION!!!!!!
BELLA: wat? That ur actually a lezbo and ur secretly dating Miley Cyrus?? GASP!!!! I knew it!! *hiccup*
ALICE: No I ea—
JASPER: Alice, how come u didn't tell me our love was fake & ur a lesbian???? –tears- I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF!!!!!!
ALICE: that's because I'm not a lesbian!!! Now listen, u f***ing emo bastard!!
JASPER: -stares at her wit wide, dilated eyes-
HEATHER: Tell us Alice!!1
EMMETT & ROSALIE: -appear outta nowhere- YA TELS US!!!!
ALICE: -really quietly- I eat babies and molest ppl in their sleep
HEATHER: Wat??? I cant hear u!!!
ALICE: -says it a little louder- I eat babies and molest ppl in their sleep
HEATHER: WAT!!!!!
ALICE: I EAT BABIES & MOLEST PPL IN THEIR SLEEP!!!!!!!!
HEATHER: EHMAGAWD!!! U HORNY HOE!!!!! AND I SLEPT IN THE SAME BED WIT U AT A SLEEPOVER!!!!! EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!
EMMETT: wat the hell did u do wit my Tickle Me Elmo????? –looks around-
ELMO: I swear u f***ing bitch!!!! Tickle me 1 more time, I'll f*** u up the $$, shank u, and hang ur skin on my wall!!!!!!
-room is silent as Elmo leaves-
BELLA: it's Shank Me Elmo now!!!!!!! –laughs like a lunatic-
EDWARD: ACK!!! Wat the hell did u put in those drinks, Heather??!!!
HEATHER: -laughs mechanically- EVERY DRUG KNOWN 2 MAN THAT WILL MAKE U ACT LIKE A RETARD!!!!!! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! –pulls out a shotgun and starts shooting wildly- son of a bitch!!!! U F***ING INDESTRUCTABLE VAMPIRES!!!!!!
-every1 runs away screaming-
JASPER: PHYSCO BITCH ON THE LOOSE!!!!!! RUN 4 UR LIVES!!!!!!!!!
HEATHER: MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
THE END
Ok, that's it man. I was so bored! Sry twilight fans if I upset u!!!! Giggle giggle!!
