Heather Introduces Drugs to the Cullens

HEATHER: Looky wats I gots! –holds up clear plastic bag-

JASPER: wats that?

EMMETT: oh my google! IT'S F***ING PRETTY!!!

ALICE: stay away from her! She's eeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvviiiiiiiiiiiilllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BELLA: -twirling around & around- I like Edward's ****!!! La-la-la-la!!!!! Monster, monster, monster!!!! It's HUGE!!!!

EDWARD: -running in circles- immma purdy pink princess!!!!!! I'll shoot ur f***ing head off!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

ROSALIE: -in fake, deep voice- Emmett… TO THE BEDMOBILE!!!!!

EMMETT: -squeals like little girl- YAY!!!! –they disappear in2 the 'fun cave'- (u kno, like the bat cave??)

HEATHER: -eye twitches- I haven't even given u guys anything yet & ur already f***ed up!!!! I LOVE U PPL!!!!!! –gives them bear hug-

EDWARD: AHHHHHH!!!! The love, it burns!!!

HEATHER: here pplz, drink this! –she gives them their own cup-

JASPER: -done wit it in seconds- WOAH, PRETTY LITES!!! -stares at the lite bulbs-

ALICE: -eyes go wide wen she finished- I HAV A CONFFESSION!!!!!!

BELLA: wat? That ur actually a lezbo and ur secretly dating Miley Cyrus?? GASP!!!! I knew it!! *hiccup*

ALICE: No I ea—

JASPER: Alice, how come u didn't tell me our love was fake & ur a lesbian???? –tears- I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF!!!!!!

ALICE: that's because I'm not a lesbian!!! Now listen, u f***ing emo bastard!!

JASPER: -stares at her wit wide, dilated eyes-

HEATHER: Tell us Alice!!1

EMMETT & ROSALIE: -appear outta nowhere- YA TELS US!!!!

ALICE: -really quietly- I eat babies and molest ppl in their sleep

HEATHER: Wat??? I cant hear u!!!

ALICE: -says it a little louder- I eat babies and molest ppl in their sleep

HEATHER: WAT!!!!!

ALICE: I EAT BABIES & MOLEST PPL IN THEIR SLEEP!!!!!!!!

HEATHER: EHMAGAWD!!! U HORNY HOE!!!!! AND I SLEPT IN THE SAME BED WIT U AT A SLEEPOVER!!!!! EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

EMMETT: wat the hell did u do wit my Tickle Me Elmo????? –looks around-

ELMO: I swear u f***ing bitch!!!! Tickle me 1 more time, I'll f*** u up the $$, shank u, and hang ur skin on my wall!!!!!!

-room is silent as Elmo leaves-

BELLA: it's Shank Me Elmo now!!!!!!! –laughs like a lunatic-

EDWARD: ACK!!! Wat the hell did u put in those drinks, Heather??!!!

HEATHER: -laughs mechanically- EVERY DRUG KNOWN 2 MAN THAT WILL MAKE U ACT LIKE A RETARD!!!!!! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! –pulls out a shotgun and starts shooting wildly- son of a bitch!!!! U F***ING INDESTRUCTABLE VAMPIRES!!!!!!

-every1 runs away screaming-

JASPER: PHYSCO BITCH ON THE LOOSE!!!!!! RUN 4 UR LIVES!!!!!!!!!

HEATHER: MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

THE END

Ok, that's it man. I was so bored! Sry twilight fans if I upset u!!!! Giggle giggle!!