Hello! so this is my take on what I think should've happened between Fitz and Olivia at the end of episode 4x17. As much as I want these two to get back together I think that they have a long way to go. They need to open up more to each other and since Shonda is not giving me that, I thought I'd write this scene myself! It's my first attempt at writing fanfics so I really hope you like it. (Note: I've only watched the end scene and not the entire episode as I stopped watching the show after 4x13 so I don't know if this story is in sync with the whole episode or not.)
He noticed the ring. Of course he did. It was right there, in his face. It was almost like she was trying to show it to him. What with standing opposite of him and holding up her phone like this. He was certain she wasn't wearing it yesterday when she came to the white house so what changed now? He can't think of this now, he needed to focus on the ceremony, the wedding of his chief of staff, he needs to smile for the cameras. He can't be thinking of her and the ring and what it means right now. So he turned around and gave her his back, maybe if he doesn't see her he'll be able to stop thinking about her. "You need to stop smiling like an idiot." He told himself under his breath. "Just stop. Everyone will know." Oh no! That was a mistake! Now he's thinking about her in a silky white dress dancing in his arms asking him to stop looking at her because everyone will know... He turned around looking for a distraction, anything to keep his mind off of her, and that damned ring.
He took a few steps forward and gave some smiles here and there to the crowd around him. That's when he found Millie acting all lovey dovey in front of the press, gushing about the beautiful wedding and the perfect couple and their love. He knew it was all fake, a play to ensure she appeared on the first page of every news outlet and to appeal more to the gay community. Everything she does and says was with a purpose behind it, he knew that but he walked towards her anyway. He appeared next to her out of nowhere, put his hand on the small of her back and smiled to the camera and the journalist who was speaking to her, Millie was in shock for a brief second but then thought she'd better take advantage of the situation and appear like the perfect, happy couple that they never were. She leaned into him and put her hand on his chest almost hugging him while still talking to the journalist. Fitz felt sick in his stomach. What was he doing? He didn't want to be standing here with her and act like someone he wasn't! He needed to go somewhere alone, to think. So after a couple minutes he walked away just as suddenly as he first appeared, leaving his wife to deal with the press alone.
Olivia was watching him closely from the moment she walked in into the wedding ceremony. He looked good as always in his fitted black suit and his amazing hair and those piercing blue eyes that she adores so much. She knew that he'd seen the ring because she deliberately wore it to send a message to him. That she's out there, she'd never hate him and she thought that he'd be happy now that she put his ring back on. But something seemed off with him. He was standing there one minute looking at her and she could swear she saw a hint of a smile on his lips but the next minute he turned away and walked towards Millie, and was he touching her back? She was confused because she didn't expect this kind of reaction from him. She was pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of Abby telling her what a great ceremony this was and how everyone seems to be really enjoying their time. She took her eyes off of him for a couple of seconds and he was gone. Where did he go? She looked around for him but he was nowhere to be seen.
Fitz was pacing back and forth in his oval office with a glass of scotch in his hand and Olivia on his mind. His mind kept going back to that night in her apartment after she was rescued from her kidnapper and how angry she was at him for what he'd done to save her and how she threw the ring at him. His ring, that he gave to her because no one in the world made him feel the way she makes him feel. She has been wearing it since, during everything they went through, she never took it off but after the kidnapping she did. When she threw the ring at him that night he thought that they're finally done for good. He thought that she wasn't in this with him and that she needed to break all connections with him. Because when he gave her the ring it wasn't supposed to be an engagement ring or even a promise one, it was more than this. He gave her the ring because he truly thought that he couldn't love anyone else in the world more than he loved her. And even if they weren't together, her wearing the ring was their way of saying that they're ok. That she still has feeling for him and she understands the love he has for her. But when she took the ring off he thought for sure that she hated him now. So what changed? Why is she suddenly wearing it back now? Without even talking to him or trying to explain anything about what was going on with her. Is this a new game she's playing with him? He was going out of his mind with ideas and thoughts. Fitz put the glass down on the small wooden table and sat on the couch, with one leg extended on the table opposite to him and his index finger on his lips, thinking. He thought about his whole relationship with Olivia from the start and how he built a complete imaginary future with her in his mind from the first moment he laid his eyes on her. He truly loved her and was willing to give everything up for her, he didn't want the presidency or his miserable marriage. He didn't want the public attention or the political career. All he wants was to be able to wake up every morning with Olivia on his side and to love her forever. Fitz kept thinking about how he made that clear to Olivia on several occasions and how she always seemed to agree with him and lead him on, thinking that he'll finally have the life he wants with her and how she left him hanging each and every time.
He was sad and depressed and his mind was filled with the darkest thoughts, he poured another glass of scotch and drowned it in one gulp. The taste of the alcohol burning his insides but he didn't care. Fitz was about to pour himself another glass when he heard a nock on his office door, he decided to ignore whoever was knocking until they're gone but then he heard someone whispering "Fitz... Fitz, are you there?" He could recognise her voice anywhere and he felt his heart sink in his chest so he stood up, walked to the door and open it to her.
"You're here! Everyone is asking about you." Olivia said with a small smile while still standing just outside the oval office.
"Yes. I'm here. I'll come out in a bit." He said without looking at her.
Fitz walked back to the middle of his office and poured himself another glass.
"You shouldn't be drinking now."
"Well, I can do whatever damn pleases me! I'm the leader of the free world." He replied, angrier than he intended to, and took a sip of his drink.
"Are you alright?" She said sounding concerned.
"Yes. I'm good. I'm fine. I'm perfect. Couldn't been better actually. Thanks for asking." he turned to face her when he said that and he immediately regretted sounding so cold with her. She looked genuinely concerned about him.
"Listen Olivia..." he said softly.
"No, I should go. I only came to tell that they're asking for you." She was about to leave when he said almost in a whisper, "What does it mean?"
"What?"
"What does it mean? The ring.. You're wearing my ring." He was looking at the floor while speaking.
"Fitz... It's not the right time to talk about this."
"When will it ever be the right time to talk about this? Huh?" He raised his voice a little and looked her in the eye.
Olivia could see his eyes were red. And his whole face looked sad and tired. "Ok. Let's talk. What do you want to talk about?" She walked into the oval office and closed the door behind her but she remained within a safe distance from him.
"Why are you wearing my ring again? Why now?" He spluttered.
"I.. Fitz.. Listen.. I know you're hurt about..."
"About you throwing my ring in my face?"
"Fitz..." The thought of that night alone made her feel sick. "I was angry and sad and scared. You don't know what I went through back then."
"And you think it was easy for me? I thought I'd lose you forever! I thought I'd never see you again!" He shouted.
They were both quiet for a few seconds before Olivia took a couple of steps towards him. They were standing so close to each other that Fitz could feel her warm breaths on his face. Olivia was touching Fitz's right cheek with her hand and he had his eyes closed. His face seemed to relax by her touch, but his whole body was tense. He is not letting his guards down around her and Olivia couldn't think of a time when he'd done that with her before. So she leaned in for a kiss, it was tender and sweet and to Olivia's shock one sided. Fitz didn't return her kiss so she held his face with both hands and tried again. "Fitz..." She said in a low whisper. Fitz grabbed her hands and yanked them off of him and took a few steps backward "No. No. No, you don't get to distract me with a kiss! I need to know what all this means. I need you to tell me the truth. Please Olivia, for once, I need you to talk to me."
She was silent.
"Ok then. I'll talk first." Said Fitz.
"I went to war on west Angola because I believed that it was the only way to get you back safe. It was not a simple or easy decision for me but I had to do it. Andrew took over the white house and I was completely alone, I couldn't trust anyone and I couldn't bare the thought of losing you again."
"Again? ..." Olivia was confused.
"And to be frank if I had to do this all over again..." Fitz continued, ignoring Olivia's question. "I'll do it. A million times. I'll do whatever I possibly can to make sure you're safe. And I know you don't want me to, and I know you hate me for what happened but it's not on you Liv. All the lost lives are not on you they are on me. I made the decision to go to war and I have to live with the aftermath. When I came to your house that night I only wanted to see you, to make sure that you're really back. I didn't expect you to understand what I've done or take me back in your arms. I only wanted to make sure you're safe." He turned around to face the wall length window in his office and then spoke again
"I'm sorry for what I've put you through. I'm sorry for falling in love with you." He said in a soft voice. "But liv... You have to stop playing with my emotions like this!" He turned to face her again, "You can't go from hating me to wearing the ring back without even talking to me. I'm in the dark here! I have no idea what's going on with you. With us... And it's killing me. I know you went through a lot and I can't ever know what you felt during that time or what horrible things they did to you but you have to understand that I'm here for you. Always. You are never alone. And even if you don't want me, it's fine with me, as long as you are happy. I thought you knew that." Fitz said while looking into her eyes.
Silence...
Fitz took a deep breath "I deserve more than that." He said in a low whisper while gazing downward. "I deserve an explanation at least. I thought I meant more to you than to just walk away on me and threw everything we shared behind you like this." At this moment, while saying this, Fitz felt completely defeated. He had tears in his eyes but he was too proud to shed them in front of her, he'd save that for later when he is alone.
Fitz was shaken out of his thoughts however when Olivia started speaking "You do deserve more Fitz." She put her hand on his cheek, caressing him softly. He closed his eyes and got lost in her touch.
"You deserve more than a damaged woman with terrible humans as parents who put you in a constant danger. I walked away to keep you safe. Why can't you see that? I know that you'll do anything for me, and that is the problem! Your enemies know that now and they will use me as a weapon against you. I can't put you in that position again." She suddenly took several steps away from him crossing her arms defensively as if to stop herself from touching him. "You deserve more than just me. You have a country to run and a wife and I …."
"Oh for god's sake! Can you stop saying that please!" Fitz said loudly.
"I get it. You're confused. You don't know what you want. One minute we're kissing and the next you don't even want to touch me. You're throwing the ring than wearing it back again. You love me one day and then you hate me, I get all that but please stop using my job and my dead marriage as excuses to get away from me. I wouldn't be in either if it weren't for you!" Fitz was angry, his ears were burning and his face was turning red, but as soon as the last few words left his mouth he regretted them. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't blame you for the way my life has turned. I'm sorry.." He closed the space between them and took her face in his hands, "I love you. You are more than enough for me and if you're willing to take me, as damaged as I am, then I'll be the luckiest man in the world for having you. I don't care about Rowen or your mother or anyone else. We can do this together Livvy." He bent down a bit to kiss her lips softly. He missed that feeling more than anything, having her in his arms, he deepened the kiss a little just to get a better taste of her. The kiss started to get more heated like it always did when these two kissed and when they finally came back for air Fitz took the opportunity to say "I'm not expecting anything from you right now. We still have many things to talk about but I just want you to know that if you are willing to give this relationship another chance then I will always be here, waiting for you. You don't have to run away from me Olivia." He kissed her again and she kissed him back with so much passion pouring all her feeling into the kiss. She was trying to let him know how she felt without speaking. Olivia started kissing Fitz all over his face before hugging him tightly as if her life depended on that hug, she buried her face in his neck inhaling his scent deeply. They stayed in a tight embrace for what seemed like hours but was actually only a minute and in that time Fitz knew that no matter what happens between him and Olivia they will always find their way back in each other arms and that feeling warmed his heart. Olivia is the love of his life and he'll spend his whole life waiting for her to get over the darkness in her life and find her way back to him.
"We should probably get back before people start asking questions." Said Olivia.
"We probably should." Said Fitz.
Neither one of them making any move to break their embrace.
