A/N: All characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I just like to use them for my own evil, sometimes.

No one realizes the terror a full length mirror and a short chiffon dress can cause better than a Jersey girl going to prom. My name is Stephanie Plum, and my prom is in four hours. The dress I'm wearing is a baby blue with a gold sash. It's knee length, it swirls, and its causing the heart attack I'm currently having.

"Mom! It won't zip! Joe Morelli asks me to prom, and my freaking prom dress won't fit!"

"Stephanie, watch your language. Just suck in a little more."

"This is a disaster!" I wailed. "Nothing ever goes right!"

"Frank! Get in here!" My mom shouted, rousing my dad from his chair and football game.

"What?" He grumbled. "I was watching a game."

My mom rolled her eyes. "I know. You're ALWAYS watching a game. Zip Stephanie up, please."

"No!" I shouted. "He'll break the dress!"

"Nonsense. You want to impress Joe, and I want your dress to STAY zipped." My father said.

I turned away so he couldn't see my face burning. The only thing he would need my dress to stay zipped for already happened. I felt a yank and a ZZZZZP! and my dress became zipped.

"Thanks, dad." I said without tone as the doorbell rang. I shrieked. "Go! Go answer it! I'm not ready! Tell him I'll be out in a second. Go!"

I pushed them out of my room and slammed the door. Taking a deep breath, I fluffed my carefully curled hair and wiped some rouge eyeliner. I twirled on my thirty dollar four inch heels, strode out the door, and stopped in my tracks. Stairs. Okay, Stephanie. You've practiced a month waiting for this moment. You got this. Taking the stairs one at a time and gripping the banister, the sight of Joe Morelli in khaki slacks, black loafers, and the top half of a suit jacket took my breath away. His hair looked like sex and he had the lazy cat smile on his face as his eyes took me in.

"Hey." I managed.

"Hey." He said with a wink.

My dad huffed and my mom wiped a tear away. "My little girl is growing up. Oh Stephanie, you look great."

We took the mandatory prom pictures, my dad monitoring the course of Joe's hand. We waved goodbye from the cab of Joe's dads truck, my mom still crying and my dad looking torn between following me and going back to his game.

"So how about we skip this prom and go straight to the, uh, after party?" He asked as we turned out if the driveway, waggling his eyebrows.

"Oh... Uhm, well, people are expecting me there..." I said.

He pulled into a hotel parking lot and shut the engine off. "I bet I could convince you to stop here first."

Forty minutes later I got back into his truck and pulled my underwear back on.

"That was great, babe. You get better every time." He grinned.

I shuddered and crossed my arms. "I can't believe you convinced me to do that in some cheap hotel. I feel disgusting."

He blew out a breath and slung his arms around my shoulder. "Stephanie, cupcake. Did you really think I asked you to prom to dance?"

I sat still for about forty-five seconds. "Joe. Stop the car."

"Cupcake, come on. Don't-"

"Stop the car!" I screeched.

He rolled his eyes and jerked the car to a stop. "What are you gonna do, run home and tell mommy and daddy?"

I yanked the door open. "You are a piece of shit, Joe Morelli."

He laughed. "Yeah, cupcake. See you around." He pulled the door closed behind me and sped off.

A tear rolled down my cheek as I stood there with my shoes in my hand and the hair I worked on for thirty minutes mussed. I blew out a sigh and smacked my forehead.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid." I muttered as I plopped down on the curb. Looking around I realized I was about 15 minutes away from the school. I could walk, but then I'd have to see Joe probably getting cozy with Terri Gilman. I hate him. I swear I am going to hurt him one of these days. He doesn't deserve me anyways. Out if the corner of my eye I glimpsed car lights turning onto the street. I didn't pay much attention; I was too busy wallowing in my pity. I looked up at the sound of a car door. Black dress shoes, followed by black dress pants, a black shirt under a black jacket, and a slick black ponytail was what this guy was dressed in. His eyes were crinkled from the smile that stretched his lips. I raised my eyebrows at him as he plopped down next to me. Carlos Manoso was the ultimate bad boy that every good girl secretly wanted. I'm the BAD girl who secretly wanted him, and I was internally screaming because he was sitting next to me, even after I had been dumped.

"Are you smiling at my misfortune?" I demanded.

"Well, you should have known better." He said. "But, since you are sitting on a curb in a beautiful dress rather than dancing in it, I'm here to take you to the prom." He turned away, actually looking nervous. "That is, if you still want to go."

I took him in. "Where's your date? Emma Malaski?"

"She cancelled at the last minute. She was practically crying because she couldn't go. Her mom found her stash of coke. It obviously didn't go over well."

I giggled slightly. "If you asked me to prom and I had to cancel on you, I'd probably be crying, too."

He looked at me. "Really? You would've said yes?"

Gawking, I said, "Of course! I, erm, girls like you. I, erm, we think you're hot."

He stared at me. He grabbed my hands and yanked me up so I was standing chest to chest with him. My breath was gone.

"You really should let people know your feelings, Stephanie." He murmured in a low voice.

"I... I'll try that... Next time."

He separated himself from me and opened the car door. The interior was leather and cool. He slid in next to me and turned the radio on low. A boppy song came on as we drove off.

Ten minutes later we pulled into the high school parking lot. It was decorated with paper ribbons and there were free kazoo's to blow. I took one. Carlos looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Problem, Carlos?" I asked, blowing on it in his face just as we walked into the gym.

Everyone turned to look at us because of the noise. Girls eyes narrowed and mouths dropped open. Morelli's hand dropped from Terri's breast in shock.

I stepped back, right into Carlos. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and whispered "Be cool. Just go with it."

"Mmhmm. I think I'm going to throw up." I groaned.

A slow dance came on and we danced among the hurried whispers behind glitter covered palms. He rested his chin on the top of my head.

"Hey, Carlos?"

"Mmm?"

"How come you asked me to come tonight? Was it... Out of pity?"

"I actually-"

"Hey, cupcake. Didn't think I'd see you any more tonight." Joe broke in.

Carlos glared. "I didn't think I see you at all, Morelli." He spat.

Joe put his hands up in mock surrender, an easy grin slipping on his face. "Woah, calm down. Just wanted to dance with my date."

"I am not your date." I growled.

"Oh? You're wearing my corsage." He countered.

Without looking down, I ripped it off and threw it at him.

"It was ugly anyway." I retorted.

His grin disappeared and his face flushed red. "What, are you embarrassed that I got it in and then walked away?" Joe said loudly. Everyone's eyes were on us. Carlos still had his arm around my shoulder, but his other fist was clenched in anger.

"Shut up, you pig. I-" Carlos started to say.

"No! He's not even worth it. Joe, when you say 'get it in', I hope you don't mean literally. I don't think it's big enough." I said, arching my eyebrow. The crowd stifled laughter behind their hands.

"I can vouch that he's plenty big enough." A nasally voice cut in. Terri Gilman.

"Oh, sure." I snorted. "I'm sure you've had plenty of others to compare it with."

Carlos laughed softly. "Babe."

Joe started yelling. "You're such a jealous little bitch! You can't handle the fact I don't want you! You're now going so low as to insult my girlfriend?"

"Oh, she's you're girlfriend now that I don't want you? Running home back to your tramp?" I said calmly.

Terri launched herself at me. I was thrown out of Carlos' arms and onto the hard floor.

"I don't know who you think you are saying that! I'm not a tramp! You're a tramp for sleeping with my boyfriend!" She screeched, yanking my hair.

I grabbed her shoulders and rolled on top of her. "Listen up, you little bitch. I spent too much time on my hair for you to mess it up." I rolled away from her and slipped out of my ruined heels. She struggled to get up as I took out my big hoop earrings.

"Carlos, will you please hold my earrings?"

He took them from me. Terri staggered towards me, shakily pointing her finger at me and began to speak just as my fist slammed into her mouth. She grabbed her mouth with both hands and her eyes got real wide.

I turned back to Carlos to get my earrings and found him doubled over in laughter. Joe was nowhere sight. Some kids were laughing and some were rushing to care for Terri. I brushed my dress off, ran my fingers through my hair, and began to dance yet again.

"Does this happen often?" Carlos asked, spinning me around.

"No, but I wish it did." I sighed. "That was so much fun."

"It was more fun to watch. You did great. By the way... The reason I asked you tonight is because I really like you."

I sighed as I rested my head on his shoulder. "You know, if this is some kind of joke, I don't find it very funny..."

I felt him shake his head. "Uh uh." He hummed. "Completely serious. I would be honored to take you on a date sometime, if you'd like. Please?" His voice turned pleading.

I giggle slightly. "Mmm. I'd love to." I said, smiling into his suit jacket.

We alternated between dancing and sitting and kissing for the rest of the night. He was a great kisser. And dancer. I saw Joe downing beer that he had somehow managed to sneak in. The chaperone's hair was mussed and she was flushed, so I can make a guess. At 11 on the dot, we left and got back into his fancy car. He dropped me off at my house, declining to go in for "coffee". I think he just didn't want to face the inquisitorial squad.

"So who was that that dropped you off? It wasn't Joe. What happened with Joe? Why are your lips swollen?" My mother bombarded me with questions, her eyes getting more narrow as she went down her line of questions. "Your father is in bed, thank goodness. So why is your dress wrinkled, and why aren't you wearing your bra?"

I looked down at myself. Crap. I had no idea where the bra had gone.

I sighed. "Well, listen. It's a funny story, actually." I told her what had happened, and finished off with asking her about the date.

She sat silent. "You ARE 18, I suppose. And I'm glad you found a man to appreciate you. Now go to bed, you crazy kid." She smiled slightly and ruffled my hair as she headed up the stairs.

I sat, staring at the microwave. Finally I heaved myself up and stepped into the bathroom for a shower. As the grime disappeared from me, I thought about the date. I was excited for it. I had never actually been on a date I was looking forward to. Wrapping a towel around my hair and slipping into my robe, I headed to the bedroom and got into my pajamas, my mind racing about what I would wear. I fell asleep easier that night than I ever had before.

A/N: I hope you guys liked it! I feel like this is... Blah. Anyhow, please review! You don't know how happy they make me! :)